Having Children Close in Age

Hi A.,
I had my children 1yr 14 days apart, One december 5th, 1980(son) and 1 december 29,1981(daughter). I enjoyed them being born close together because they kept each other entertained.I liked the fact that bottle breaking and potty training were done at the age of 16 months for both children. It was nice to have them close together because I didn't forget how to break the bottle or potty train. They were best friends until they got a little older. Because they were boy and girl, they fought as they got older. They did get to play sports together. They had a set of friends they shared through their time of growing up! They are grown now and enjoy each others company once again! I am 44, my children are 27 and 26. I enjoy my grandchildren by my daughter (my son doesn't have any children but he enjoys his nieces) and we all have a great time together!
Sincerely,
L. Jacobs

I have 5 kids that I consider close in age. They are 10, 8, 8, 6, and 4. It was pretty hard when they were little(before school age). It was hard to get to the grocery store or anywhere because I had to take them all with me. I am a stay at home mom and felt pretty much homebound. As they got a little older and started slowly getting to school age it changed drastically. When my oldest was in 3rd grade I took them back out of school and now homeschool them. It is great at this age. We go out whenever we want and I can take them all to the grocery store or wherever I want. We never stopped going out to eat or anything with the kids and because of that they learned how they were expected to act and we get compliments constantly on how they behave when we are out. All this is just to let you know how great it can be. My siblings and myself are all 5 years apart and we are not very close at all and I wanted my kids to grow up more together which they do.

Hi, A., my name is Mandy. When my daughther was three months, we found out we were pregnant with our son. It was a surprise and we wondered how in the world we were going to do it.
They are now 16 months and five months and, honestly, to tell you the truth, it's been great so far. My daughter loves her little brother so much and loves to push him in his swing and bring him his paci and blanket when he cries. So dealing with jealousy hasn't really been an issue for us.
I am sure things will get a little tougher when he becomes more mobile and she gets older, but I think you're gonna deal with that no matter how close in age your kids are.
We're thrilled that they are so close in age and I pray they always remain very close. Plus, we didn't get one out of diapers only to have one start with diapers. It does get expensive to buy diapers for two, but the end result will be far worth any expense I feel.
If I can offer anything else, please let me know. And good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and the birth of this little one. It's an amazing experience!!
Also, I'm in Lakeland. Are you in my area?
Mandy

Hello A.:
My name is I.. When I was deciding to have a second child, I thought about their time together and yes is better when they are close in age. My children are 20 month apart, and now they can spend more time together most of the time. It was hard at the beginning because they were opposite sex. Now that they are in the early teens they spend more time together. They watch for each other. It's been great because if you wait more than 3 years is like stating over. In my case after finishing with dippers and having to carry a bag every where, I wasn't looking forward to stating over. It will be great if you can be at home for the first 5 years. I put a hold on my career, and don't regret it. It was wonderful. Some times I was brest feeding both of them at the same time. My daughter was jelous for the first few month but I was having the best time of my life. Those first years are only once in their life time and yours. Brest feeding is the best thing God had created in us. I could say a lot more, but don’t want to bored you. Hope you make the right decision for you. Have a blessed day.

I only have 1 boy, now age 8. My feelings were that I would be a SAHM and see my boy through to school age. Then we would talk about having another. That way I could dedicate all I had to one at a time. Once school started and I got a little "freedom" back, I enjoyed that time to myself and getting back to work a little bit. Now I see all these babies and I would really like another but...we waited too long. Starting over seems alot harder than we are willing to commit to. It sounds a little selfish sometimes, but maybe not. 1 is all we can afford and still have some financial freedom. Plus a ton of other reasons.(no health insurance, a small house etc...) All I really want to say is don't wait too long like I did. I've learned closer in age isn't so bad in the long run. So there's the other point of view. Good Luck!

A.,
I felt compelled to email you back because it seems we have a bit in common. I have 3 girls and recently moved here from NC. I am also a nurse (as my 2nd degree....which I LOVE). My husband of almost 13 years is in the Marine Corps so having children for us was revolving around deployments. Due to health reasons for me we started pretty late having kids but when I was ready...we had 3! My first one was planned around his first deployment back when the war started. Then he came home and we immediately started for the 2nd and I got pregnant right away. So, needless to say my first 2 are 16 months apart. Now, I will admit, my husband went off to war again while I was pregnant and delivered her...so I was alone. On that note, I had 2 babies as essentially a single parent. I did fine...and paid for it in the beginning with all of the ususal baby hassles. But, now it has paid off. My older girls are 2 peas in a pod. They play well together and are very close. Not to say they don't squabble but sure is easy when they are on the same level with everything. Since they are close in age, they attend the same extracurricular activities at the same times so I am not running around crazy for one and not the other. They are now 6 and 5. My youngest is 18 months old and it took me a year to get pregnant for her...otherwise it would be closer!! Hope this helps!
C. L.

A.,
I have 4 children all 11 months apart. 3 girls and 1 boy. It really wasn't that bad. I know I adjusted pretty quickly. I worked until the 3rd was born. The first 2 stayed with my aunt while I worked. After the 3rd I was a stay at home mom until my last two got in pre-school and I worked while they were in school. Once they hit kindergarten I went back to the hours they were in school and picked them all up from school on my way home.
When you have them close together they learn from an early age about helping out. When they are smaller they love to help to the point you have to watch what they are helping with at times. They also learn to stay in line because you instill it in them if they are not well behaved they have to stay home too.
They fight but on the other hand they are all very close. They look out for each other at school or away at events together.
Whether you have them close together or far apart raising a child isn't easy. I liked the fact that they were going one right after the other out of diapers and off to school.
My kids are now 15..16..17 and 18.

Hi. I have 4 kids, all about 18 months apart. It is very busy!!!! But, there are lots of benefits. The best thing is that they are great friends. (Sometimes they are the worst of enemies... but the best friend times happen more). They can play and entertain each other while I do laundry (which is one of the worst things about having a big family... the amount of laundry). They have similar interests, so they enjoy playing together, and since they are at similar stages, it's easy to structure family activities that everyone will enjoy, and we are usually working on the same skill as a whole family (like... lets work really hard on using our fork at dinner...) It is getting easier, now that I only have 1 in diapers. It's a lot of work when they all need you to help them with everything. There is a little bit of a competitve spirit, but I think any sibling situation will have that. I have to be careful, though, of treating them all the same since they are so close - for example, I shouldn't expect my 4 year old to be capable of the things my 6 year old does, even though they act the same age in many ways. I thought the change from 1 to 2 kids was harder than welcoming the 3rd or 4th. It's a lot of work, but it's a lot of fun, too! Hope this helps!

J.

Hi-
Although I don't have more than one child at the moment, I noticed that you are new to the area & stated you don't have any friends here. Where do you live? If you are in New Port Richey, Port Richey, or the Hudson area, then you are welcome to check out the MOMS CLUB that I just joined. They are always looking for new members & there are kids of various ages & many moms with multiple kids, so they could probably answer your question! If you're looking for something to do sometimes, email me back & I'll give you our membership VPs info so she can tell you more about how to check us out.
Good luck!

I have 2 boys that are 2 years apart (2 & 4). I didn't think it was difficult at all; however, I do think it depends on the oldest child. My oldest was very independent and was able to play for long periods of time by himself and be very content. If you have a needy child the first go around, you may want to wait. Otherwise, you will adjust with the second as quickly as you adjusted with the first.

Hi A..

My two girls are pretty close together. My oldest one is 22 months and my youngest will be 5 months on the 29th.

It's really hard to deal with both girls, the house work, keeping there dad happy, keeping my self happy etc... When you have kids you have no choice but to get up early and go to bed late if you want to get everything done but when you have two, especially when they're close together, you will have to get up even earlier and stay up even later. LOL. It's harder to get out of the house on time even when you plan out the day. There's no telling who will through a fit right when it's time to leave the house. They never sleep at the same time during the day so you have to squeeze things in and leave things half done and come back them later. It's extremely chaotic.

There is a plus side to having children close together if you can believe it. The kids will be closer since they're closer in age. Hopefully. LOL. The demanding baby stage will pass and by time the second child turns one. NO MORE BOTTLES!! That is if you bottle feed of course.

I think the hardest thing of all is the feeling that your oldest child is being left out. If you decide to have another baby soon just make sure you keep your first child involved as much as possible. Point to your belly and say "baby". Get your little one a baby doll to play with even if your child is a boy. Try not to say "don't touch the baby" too many times. LOL. That's a hard one though.

There are many ups and downs to having children close together but in the end all the hard work pays off when they hug you and say "I love you Mommy". If your wondering about anything else in particular ask away. It's hard to cover everything in one letter. I could probably write a book. LOL. Good luck.

I have a 9 and an 8 year old that are extremely close in age. 12 months and 12 hours to the very minute to be exact. I found it easy to have children close together! For the simple fact of companionship. They kept eachother busy when I had things that needed to be done! Of coarse, let me just add, before I go any further, this was NOT planned! I think that my biggest problem was the genders of the two children. The eldest is a male, and of coarse the other child is a female. I think if they had been both male or both female, it might have been that much more easier. As the kids got older, the more drama they had put out for me. I no longer can have shared birthday parties. If one is good ( always my son), the other is bad (love my daugther, but have alot less hair because of her). I always loved that they were close in age when they were younger, but now in the " pre-teen" phase, I am sometimes going out of my mind. To throw a loop in the chain, I now have a two year old! So now I know both worlds. What it is like to have kids very close in age, and to also have a child six years later. I was always contimplating having another child for the simple reason of starting "over" again.

I have four children. My daughter was 15 months old when we had our second child, #2 was 20 months old when #3 was born and #3 was 15 months old when #4 was born. So at this moment we have a 4 year old, 3 year old, 1 and a half year old and 1 month old. I wouldn't change it for the world. It's not as hard as you might think. I will agree with some of the other moms on things like waiting too long is like starting all over, and it's easier if you can stay at home at least for the first few years. My oldest two have always been the best of friends. They don't know what to do without each other. Of course, she fights with him, he fights with her. But kids do that whether they are 15 months or 15 years apart. Sometimes, very rarely, I think...good God...what was I thinking? I couldn't imagine having 4 (or even just 2 or 3) at COMPLETELY different stages. They all keep each other entertained and I don't have to ALWAYS be the one trying to keep them from being bored. The only thing that is hard for me is taking them out anywhere by myself. And that has more to do with how many I have. They are so much more well behaved than other kids I know. They share better and they are more respectful. They've always had to be because it's never been just them. They've always had someone else to consider.

I had my first child at 36. I was working from home, running my husband's construction business and very stressed, trying to balance childrearing and the workload. When my daughter was 9 months old I discovered I was pregnant again with my second. I cried for days and had some real heart to heart talks with my husband. We did agree that I could get someone in to clean every other week, so that I could take That duty off my plate. Bottom line, 2 girls 15 1/2 months apart was so, so hard for about 3 years. I joke that I had to strap the oldest into her high chair with toys to play with, just so I could sit down and nurse the baby. Getting them into a part time preschool early helped, so that I could have some time to get my work done. It's hard to say if it would have been better to space them out. I think anytime you add another child to the mix, things get complicated, whatever the age difference. Mine have always been close and now entertain each other and have the same level of interests. ( They are 8 1/2 and 7 - same dance class, same Brownie troop, etc.) I see my friends with kids farther apart in age, going back and forth between different activities, and also having more sibling rivalry. Would I do it again this way? Yes.

I have a boy and a girl, 14 months apart. We wanted them to be 18 months apart, but she surprised us. I was nervous at first. I had this huge growing belly and an infant that wanted to be carried; he was not able to walk. He didn't start walking until I was almost 8 months pregnant.
The first three weeks were the hardest, luckily my husband was off. The sleep thing. With the first baby, I was able to take naps with him. You can't take naps with the infant when the toddler wants to play.
After about 6 weeks, when she became more attentive to her environment, it became a lot easier. My son loves to entertain her. They play together. She watches him constantly. Unlike the first, I am not her only "playmate" which means I have my hands free. With a single infant, you find yourself constantly holding them and trying to cook, clean...with them in your arms. With two, I can do what needs to be done, while they entertain eachother.
I like having them close.
It also works out well that they will only be a year apart in school.