Advice on Child Spacing

Mine are 18 months apart; they're now 5 (boy) and 3 (girl) and it's wonderful. They get along great, it's so nice to say "go play" and they do - because they have someone to play with! They watch the same shows, play with the same toys, have the same aged friends - it just worked out really well.
Regarding sibling rivalry - we had none. We get some now, but it's more true competition type rivalry and not the mom/dad jealousy type. My son doesn't remember life without his sister, he thinks she's always been here too.
I'm really glad we had them close together, it warms my heart to see how close they are to each other and how much they enjoy each other.

My children are 14 months apart, just as my brother and I were. It has been great. I really only did diapers once as they potty trained about a month apart. The oldest is a boy and the youngest is a girl. They are able to enjoy many things together which makes it easy and great for family outings. They are now 15 and almost 14. I would not change it.........shoot the maternity clothes were even still in style.....btw, I was 42 when I had my first, the doc told me to get busy if I wanted another ..........I obeyed...lol.....and was almost 44 when the second was born............

Ideally, according to my Dr. it is best to wait at least 1 year before getting pregnant again so the body has proper time to heal... ideally 2 years in his opinion.

Personally, my sister and I are 18 months apart, and we loved being only 1 school grade apart. We got along great. My children will be 2 years apart once the 2nd one is born.

I hear it's easier to get it done earlier, the adjustment of say having a 7 year old, and then a newborn is tough b/c you haven't been down that road in a while. Of course multiples in diapers is tough too, everyone will have their own opinion!

I just love having kiddos closer in age, they seem to relate better to each other.

What a can of worms you have opened :)

I truly believe God won't give you more than you can handle, and when he gave us our three blessings, there was some space. After everyones Birthday this year my kiddos will be 11-5-2 and It has been wonderful for us!
I got all the baby out of the baby before the next one, I've only had one child in diapers.
Sure we still go through jealousy issues but all children do that. It's just a lot easier to explain reason to them when a younger sibling is biting them, punching them, all that fun stuff between the 18month to 2 years old stage. People told me that my children weren't going to have playmates/friends in each other if they were seperated out, I don't believe that. My sister and I are close in age and we were never "friends" growing up. Sure, interests change, but it's teaching your children that family is the most important, and friends will come and go but your brother and sisters are here forever.

So bottom line I say three years at least in between has my vote. But, that's just my vote, and what I've experienced. My sil has three little guys all 18 months difference and it works for her.

But if you decide to have another one--Good Luck! and YES they grow too fast!

I beleive I read in Parent magazine that 3 years was good. It allows the 3 year old to be out of diapers and doesn't cause as much sibling rivaly. But, you never know for sure. Good luck!

My boys are just shy of 3 years apart. Close enough together to have some things in common, and able to relate....but far enough apart to have some independent interests. My ds#2 and dd#1 are 4 1/2 years apart, as are dd#1 and dd#2. I think that gap is stretching it just a bit. My older daughter is constantly complaining about her tagalong sister, who cannot do the same things she does ;). On the pro side, they are quite a help with a new baby at 4 1/2.
It's really a matter of personal preference. I wouldn't want mine any closer than 3 years apart. That's just me. Alot of my friends have their's 2 years apart, or closer. I know I couldn't handle it. And the farther they are apart, the less they will have in common. Lots of pros and cons either way.

My kids are 2 1/2 yrs apart and I am glad they are not any closer in age. My oldest, 3 1/2 ds, has severe speech delay and is not potty trained so I think that makes a big difference. I have two kids who both are not talking (my son says about 12 working words/day) and both in diapers. And he is very busy so I have a lot of challenges just with my son. I'm very glad we have my daughter as she helps balance us out. :-)

As far as #3, we think we will have another one but we want to wait at least 2-3 years. Right now we are trying to get the help that my son needs.

I'm one of six and there was 17 yrs between the oldest and youngest. Life was always fun and never a dull moment. In my experience and opinion, 2-3 yrs is a good gap; it gives you time to enjoy the baby stage and yet they can still be close in age. This helps them to be good friends (not a guarantee though) and plus as a family you can do things better than if they are spread apart farther.

http://www.mamasource.com/request/10500591411315867649
An other lady had a similar question.

If you ask me: not more than 2 years. 1 1/2 year is even better.

I.

My kids are 2 years apart (almost exactly). I think it's perfect. they are the best of friends.

Well mine is 1 1/2 year apart.
My oldest son we had to entertain, then when we had the 2cd child
which was a girl. We didn't know if they play much since they had different interests. But they act like twins. They love to be together, and play together great, and yet they have there own
likes being 1 boy 1 girl.

The nice thing once you get over the potty training, its done.
It is work at first but before my daughter was 1 year they were already playing together.

A few of my girl friends also have there 1 1/2-2 yrs apart and they are both boys and they play great together.
They always have a playmate.

Growing up my older brothers were 7 yrs older and 3 yr and I got along better with my older brother cause he take me for car rides. My younger brother we fought we didn't have anything in common and there was just too much space.

My other friend had hers 1 yr apart and had 2 girls and they just graduated and I watched them grow together fighting and playing together. They are best friends now.

Hope this helps !

I think you are right there are pros and cons to everything. My son and daughter are 21 months apart which basically means she turned 1 and a week later we were pregnant with him. He was a surprise, but its okay. The down side is I was really really really tired for over a year. An infant and 2 year old, it was just tiring. Now are 4 1/2 and almost 3 it is great. They play so well together! I have whole afternoons when I do nothing more than remind them that we have to put toys away too. We can go in our backyard and I can read a book (yes I said read a book) while they entertain each other. Its great.

My sons are exactly 2 years and 1 month apart and it is difficult in the begining but I think in the long run it's going to be better. I've had friends that spaced them further apart and they liked it as well. Personally, I can only speak from my experience and it has been okay. I wouldn't recommend a 3rd one - ha! Hopefully when they are a little older (they are 3 & 1 right now). My husband travels for work so getting them both to sleep around the same time can be interesting. When one cries the other tends to follow for no reason. All-in-all though I think they will start playing together and they will grow up close.

D.

Well my advice is to get pregnant with the second child when the first one turns two. I have a two year old and a one month old. They are great but I do wish my two year old was like 2 1/2 or 3. It would be nice for him to be potty trained. But no matter what ages there is in between they are wonderful!! Good luck!

From what I have seen with friends and family, it seems there's a window of opportunity between 10 months (Irish twins, they call them :0))and 2 years--the older one is still young enough not to have a lot of jealosy issues. 3 and 4 year-olds tend to have the worst sibling rivalry. Then, once the older child reaches 5 and up, the sibling rivalry becomes less of an issue. I have a friend whose children are 3 years apart and it has been a battle royale since day one, and still is, several years later. I think it depends on the temperment of the children, too. It's really something to consider, even though a lot of people believe you should just let the chips fall where they may. Looking at some of the terrible relationships adult siblings have who claim they never got along since childhood, I just can't help but think as parents you have a duty to your kids to space them out in the best manner to give them the best opportunity to have great relationships.

My daughter was two when I got pregnant with my son and just over three when he was born. The nice thing about this spacing is that it was easy to prepare her for having a brother or sister and by the time my son was born she was really helpful. She loves holding him (though he doesn't stay still long enough anymore) and helping get things that he needs like diapers and holding bottles, helping with baths, etc.

My son will be one at the end of next month and I am now pregnant with another baby, who is due at the end of Nov. That will be a 16 month age difference and I'm not sure what to expect from my son, but I'm sure it will all work out.

Good Luck

The only thing I have read on this subject is in regards to the mother. It said that the ideal time to get pregnant again is two years after the previous child was born. This is to give your body time to recoup from the previous pregnancy. We intend to wait until our son is two before we try for a second child. This is mainly because we want to enjoy our son while he is still extremely dependent and so very cuddly.

I was reading everybody's comments. It seems like everybody agrees on about two years apart. My girls are almost seven years apart. My oldest absolutley loves the baby. She can keep her enteratined for me. She holds her and can help feed her. She's not jealous and I can give the baby lots of attention and she understands. She's much more independent than a two year old and a baby. It gives me a little more time to breathe. Many people have told me they won't be close. I personally don't think age has much to do with them being close or not. I've heard so many stories of different situations and some are close and some aren't. I'm not saying you should wait. You do what you think is best for your family. Either way there are positives and negatives.

Leanne,
Your daughter is two now?, I would start trying now b/4 you get used to sleeping through the night again! Seriously, my boys are 17 months apart and it was hard, b/c at times they both needed me. But now they are 4 and 2 1/2 and they play together and are best friends. It warms my heart to see my older son comfort his little brother. :-)

Other factors to consider- Daycare. You didn't say if you were a SAHM or not, but our daycare tab runs around $1,600 a month for two. B/4 my son was potty trained, we thought we would go broke buying diapers and wipes for two! But we saved on clothes b/c they were easily passed from one to the other.

I hope that helps.

I'm sure you will get a lot of opinions on this. For me I wanted my children close in age, but not too close. My first two are 2yr. and 3 mo. apart. It was difficult at first with a toddler potty training and all that stuff and an infant on top of that. But now they are so close and they love playing together. Don't get me wrong it is not always roses, they can fight just as hard as they love each other. Then we had number 3 two days before my second one turned 3. They love their brother a lot and are a great help. I guess that it really depends on what you would like your family dynamic to be. I had an older brother that was 7 years old when I was born and we were never close so that is why I wanted my children closer in age.

I personally have very strong opinions on this....I think kids should be spaced 2 years apart (or more). From what I've heard from the doctors/science & seen with people I know, the baby is better off if the mom has had a least a year to recoup from a pregnancy. After all pregnancy depleats your body of all sorts of nutrients - why would you want to immediately conceive another child if you're body is not "in it's best baby carrying state"?

IMO...I want to enjoy spoiling my little girl. I know once another one comes, it will never be the same.

Our DD is 19 months old and we plan to start trying for #2 in August/September. We were going to start trying this past month, but we are going on a cruise in Jan and I don't want to be too far along.

I do think there are a couple of other factors to consider - - I'm a full time working mom. Granted I work from home, but I couldn't imagine having a 1 year old and an infant! Another factor on my side is age. I'm only 31, so I have luxury of not needing to get pregnant right away.