Have a Baby

E. ~
You need to wait, for many reasons. First, your body needs to heal. That takes time...at least a year.
Second, your heart needs to heal. Having another baby is not going to replace the one you had, nothing can. You had plans and dreams for that baby.
Third, I know from your other posts that you and your husband are struggling financially. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have a baby unitl you can afford one, most of us wouldn't have kids if we waited until we could afford them. But babies are expensive...and if you can't pay your bills already, then it's not the best time to plan another baby.
Please, talk to your doctor, ask his advice about getting some greif counseling. Go to this website: www.tomorrowschildmi.org ~ they are an infant loss support group. That's who our hospital refers patients who have had a loss...they have special training to help people like yourself and Jason.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know words aren't enough, but know that people care.
D.

Sweetheart I'm so sorry for you both - that is tragic!

I would suggest waiting a few months, mostly because it takes so long for your body to get back to normal (about 6 weeks for the uterus) and a few months or longer for the rest of your body... It could also take a few weeks/months to start ovulating again. However, some women are extremely fertile right after having a baby, so its hard to know.

I'd suggest waiting a few months also because it takes some time to process your grief! Be sure to really talk through all the feelings with your husband and close friends. Its normal to feel anger, pain, panic, desperation, sadness, etc... Another child will not take this away and could easily complicate it, or cause you to not deal with it until a later point in your life.

So sorry. :(

Oh E.! I'm so sorry, my heart goes out to you and your husband. I've suffered 3 first trimester losses but can't even imagine the heartbreak you're going through. Physically you should probably wait at least 6 weeks, ask your OB, but your body needs time to heal. Emotionally, only you know when you're ready. Let yourself mourn, having another baby cannot replace the one that you lost. I still think about the 3 that I lost even though I have an amazing little girl. Good luck to you, and again, I'm so sorry!!!!

I am so sorry, E.. I don't have any real advice, I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you.

There isn't any set time, E.. Just allow yourselves time to grieve and get back into a routine that you're feeling calm in, and then decide together to try again.

I'm sorry for your loss. I've been through it 3 times myself.

E.
let ne start by saying how sorry i am to hear what you are going thur now let me say i would give your hart and body time to heal nothing will make up for the lost you had me myself would waite 4 to 6 mo so sorry again and god bless

I am so sorry you are going through this. My prayers go out to you. My Mom was told to wait a year toa year and a half in a similar situation. Now I am not telling you that it is right, but my Mom became pregnant again about 5 months later (she did not want to wait), and here I am, perfectly healthy. While it is so sad that she went through that, had she not, I woudl not be here. Focus on the fact that this is offering you a new blessing while you will always remember and love the deceased child. And pray a lot. God will guide you and comfort you if you let Him.

first i want to say how sorry I am for your loss and my condolences go out to you and your husband. I think they want you to wait 6 months to get your body back into normal. But ask your dr. I could be wrong it might be just one period. Good Luck best wishes this time.

Oh E., I am so sorry! I feel awful about this! I know you and I spoke through private messages a couple times and I am so sorry. I had a mis car. a few years ago and they told me to wait a month. But you were full term, so Im sure it might be different? Good luck!

I am so sorry to hear this. I know you have been so looking forward to your baby. I had a friend who had a stillborn at about the same time you did. Definatly take some time to grieve for your loss.I do know the hospitals offer grief conseulors and maybe take advantage of one. My friends did that, as they had a very hard time getting pregnant, and did 2 rounds of invitro and then lost the their little boy.

your doctor will probably recommend several cycles. I know when you have a baby, they say it's best to wait about 18 months to allow your body to completely heal and return back to normal. But a lot of people safely have babies by the time their next cycle comes around. I know when I miscarried i was told to wait until after my 2nd cycle to make sure my hormones were back to normal and that everything would be discharged out of my system.

No baby will ever take the place of the one you lost. So having another may help with the grief process, but it won't cure your feelings. you will always remember your baby and wonder about your baby. Seeing someone will help you through this process now, and be able to give you ways to cope through life.

i just want to say that im so sorry ..for what you and your husband are going through.....

I would check with your OB/GYN. My SIL's told her she should wait for 3 months before trying again after she miscarried, but I think a lot of it is dependent on you.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'd recommend talking with your doctor. Generally, I think it's recommended to wait 3 months. Your doctor or midwife will be able to help you in that decision.

Check where you delivered for bereavement support groups. There are ones specifically for parents who have lost a baby right around birth.

I've never experienced what you're going through. My thoughts are to take the time to mourn the loss of this precious child. Having another one won't really help you fill the hole of this loss. Not yet at least. Hugs, S.

Sorry to hear about your situation, however you have to not only allow your body to recoup, but also your mind. You will also need to speak with your doctor on this as well, to avoid any other complications. I'm willing to bet your doctor will recommend a year as you were full-term as that is how long they recommend waiting for trying for the next baby.

So sorry for your loss.

Your OB/GYN will be the best person to answer that question. Your body still will have a lot of pregnancy hormones in it for several weeks. That may or may not affect your ability to conceive.

My recommendation, though, is to let you both have a good amount of time to grieve the loss of the baby and to let your body/emotions heal.

Best wishes. I hope, if you do choose to have another child, that you are not stricken with the same grief.

I am SO sorry for your loss. My first born, a son named Avery Jace, was stillborn at 34 weeks 2 days on September 5, 2006. He was 6lbs 8oz and 18inches long. He was so perfect and beautiful. We had an autopsy and several tests and everything came back normal. We have no reason for Avery's death. 1 in 200 pregnancies will end in stillbirth and over 1/2 of those a reason is never determined. I had a very easy and "normal" pregnancy. No high blood pressure, I don't drink, do drugs, etc. I have never had a miscarriage or stillbirth. Avery's death affects me every day. My husband and I did get pregnant again soon after because my cycles came back right away and my Dr. said to wait at least 2 cycles. Our daughter, Teagan Janell, was due on Avery's 1st birthday 9-5-07. I was induced at 38 1/2 weeks because of my anxiety. Teagan was born 8/27/07 9lbs 8.6oz and 21 3/4 inches long. She is a very independent 2 year old now. She looked so much like her big brother when she was born - I wonder what Avery would look like now and what his personality would be like. We waited a little longer after Teagan before trying again. Our 2nd son, Jace Randall, was born 8/8/09. He is now 5 months old and melts my heart. Teagan and Jace definitely don't take the place of Avery and I ache for Avery every day, but having them in our lives has brought the sunshine back. They are definitely our "rainbow" babies. Please feel free to write me anytime if you want to chat. ____@____.com Talking to others who have experienced a loss has helped me so much these past 3, going on 4, years.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you.

Sincerely, A.

Personally I think you need to spend the time grieving. You will grieve one way or the other, and avoidance often makes grief come out in unsuspected ways (such as physical problems, anxiety, etc.). So sorry to hear about your baby.