Hair Pulling

Updated on July 28, 2008
P.T. asks from Manchester, CT
12 answers

Hi Moms!
Since I had received such wonderful advice on my first question, I am here with another. My 1.5 year old has been pulling her hair out. She will take a fistful of her hair, and then just rip it out, and it doesnt even seem to hurt/bother her. She only does this when she is agitated. I tell her no, please dont pull your hair out, and I move her hands away from her head and she will just do it even more. Every now and then she tries to pull my hair out. Normally she is a very happy little girl. Is this normal behavoir? Has anyone been through this before, or going through it now? How do I get her to stop? Thanks :)

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P.N.

answers from Boston on

I don't have personal expereince with this but the book I am reading addressed this behavior in toddlers. He likened it to nail biting, rather than being some sort of psychological issue (as it may be with an older child or teen). The 21 mo old child kept pulling out gobs of hair (she started at 18 mos).

The author (a child psychologist) told the parents she probably first did it accidentally but then continued doing it bc the parents started acting like it was the most important thing in the world.

He suggested they stop freaking out about it, be very matter of fact about it. When she would bring a hair gob, lead her to the bathroom and show her how to flush it down the toilet. Then walk away without saying another word. If gobs were found elsewhere, ask her to do the same.

In this case, he said the behavior stopped wihin a month.

So I can't personally speak to that. The book is by John Rosemond-Making the Terrible Twos Terrific. I agree with some of what he says generally, other things not, but he does seem to have a good idea of what is normal child behavior.

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W.C.

answers from Lewiston on

This is a disorder Pemela.I have had it since I was 2.My daughter also has it and here is a couple sites to read about it. 1.)http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/trichotillomania/DS00895

2.)http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/tricho...

This is nothing to be ashamed about and when you become aware that you are doing it,it can be controlled.I am now 46 and still find myself doing it when I feel upset or in deep thoughts about certain things in my life.
I do hope this helps!:-)

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J.E.

answers from Hartford on

Our daughter pulled out fistfulls of hair as well. When she was about 22 months old we were taking a ride in the car (about 40 minutes). When we arrived at our destination we saw that she had been pulling so much hair out she had a bald spot and hair was everywhere! You'd think it would have hurt her enough to stop but it didn't phase her at all. By 24 months old she outgrew the habit and her hair has filled in nicely.
We have no idea why she did it but I don't think she did any permanent damage to herself.

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H.D.

answers from Providence on

Hi P.. My daughter has been pulling out her eyelashes and eyebrows for about three years now. She is almost 10 years old. She managed over the past two years on her own to stop pulling her eyebrows. The eyelashes have been an on-going battle. Recently, though, we have seen some eyelashes growing (YEAH!!!). There is a name for the hair pulling. The disorder is called Trichotillomania. The hair-pulling is an impulse disorder and can be very serious. Often times people don’t even realize they are doing it. It is hard for them to stop once they have started. Something goes off in their brain that tells them that it feels “good” to pull their hair out. I have heard of people who actually eat the hair after they pull it. Thankfully, my daughter did not do that. My daughter went to several counselors in the area for the problem. Unfortunately, they were not able to help her. I am hoping that your daughter will stop on her own, but this is definitely worth mentioning to her pediatrician. She may need to go see a specialist in the Trichotillomania field. The specialists use what is called "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" to help their patients reverse their impulsive behavior. It is important to see a specialist for the disorder--most of the counselors in the area do not understand Trichotillomania and haven't had experience treating it. Sometimes children pull their hair as early as infants. It is a very frustrating disorder, for both the person pulling their hair and for their families. There are some support groups in the area that you may find helpful. The person pulling their hair really has to WANT to stop pulling and take measures to do so. If they don't WANT to stop pulling (if it feels "good" to them), then they won't. The earlier the treatment for Trichotillomania is started, the better (the younger, the better). I have been in tears in the past over this problem. I am sorry to say that there are VERY FEW doctors in this area that specialize in Trichotillomania. I’m surprised I didn’t pull my own hair out trying to find one. It’s even more “fun” when the specialists don’t take your insurance plan. I had to request services outside the plan from our insurance company, and, thankfully, they approved an out-of-benefit provider to treat my daughter. She currently is seeing a wonderful doctor to treat the eyelash pulling. I would be happy to try to get you the names of some doctors that specialize in this area if you wish (just send me a personal note through Mamasource). Below is a link to a website that specializes in Trichotillomania. There are a few specialists in Massachusetts listed there, but there are others that can be contacted. Also, 20/20 did a special on Trichotillomania. I am including the link below. Feel free to contact me if you should need more help or information. Good luck to you!--H.

www.trich.org

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/story?id=442302...

P.H.

answers from Boston on

Is she talking yet? is this what she is doing because she is not fully able to communicate?? if this does not seem to be the problem..below is not the issue ;-)

If that is the issue ask your Pedi for a Speech Therapy evaluation (they usually do not do them under two, but this sounds like it could get worse)and if she is indeed delayed in speech they can help her learn to communicate and not be so frustrated. Heading banging also can happen by kids who are not able to talk as much as they want to.

Podycat

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L.O.

answers from Boston on

It may be a little late to respond here, and it may be of no help whatsoever - but my oldest daughter has acid reflux. When she was young - but younger than your child, more like 9-14 months old, when she was in pain, she would pull her hair out. Years later, I found an acid reflux chat group, and several of the moms on that site reported that their children did the same thing. Many years later, when she was 5, my daughter also began pulling her hair out when she was stressed about an incident. We caught her problem, and redirected her to brushing her hair instead as a stress reliever. You might want to ask her pediatrician as well.

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L.Q.

answers from Boston on

Look up hair pulling on the internet. It is actually very common! There could be many reasons she is doing it. I see that your husband is active duty in the military, is he gone a lot or over seas? That could play a big roll in it.
My sister was pulling her hair out a few years ago (she is a grown adult) but the reason she was doing it was because of bad migraine headaches she said it made them feel better. Then it just got to be a habit & she would do it more often than not & didn't even realize she was doing it. She said it did not hurt at all. I forget what it is called but there is a name for it. So don't worry to much, but I advise checking it out on the net and talking to her pedi about it. I also believe they said to ignore the behavior or she will just do it more. I know it is hard to ignore though!

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G.T.

answers from Boston on

Hi P.. Call your pediatrician. In teens pulling hair out can actually be a condition that needs to be treated. some teens will also pull out their eyebrows and eyelashes as well as their hair. In toddlers, I am not sure what this means, so call your child's doctor to put your mind at ease, and for advice on how to get her to stop!

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J.R.

answers from Boston on

Hi P.,
My son went through the same phase when he was two. I was horrified at the behavior and contacted his pediatrician. She told me it was a very normal phase that some kids go through to comfort themselves if they are frustrated. Have there been any major changes in your daughter's life, or any break from her normal routine? For us a move to a new house set off the behavior.
The advice she gave me was to get back on a daily routine. Secondly, when my son exhibited the behavior, I was to guide his hands away from his hair, and not say anything that would draw attention to the fact he was pulling his hair out. However, the pediatrician also said that if the behavior continued for several months, or was accompanied by loss of appetite or sleep that I should bring my son into the office. Thankfully the advice worked, and my son stopped the behavior within a few weeks. Try not to worry...I'm sure your daughter will have the same outcome. Good luck!

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L.F.

answers from Bangor on

This is the first time I have responded to a question! My daughter pulled out her blonde beautiful hair from ages 11 months to about 1 1/2 years old. Not only did she pull it out but, she ate it! Now, an 18 year old getting ready for college, we often chuckle about this as we see her doing it on home videos. At one time she was even pulling out her doll's hair! At the time she was tested for a pica as maybe she was missing something in her diet. No. It was a weird habit. Now, looking back, and forward, we know Casey has an extremely high tolerance for pain. Through two broken legs and surgery she needed little pain medication. She still has little quirks, like chewing the inside of her mouth when she is stressed and or bored. Be comforted in knowing, she will outgrow it. I was embarassed at the time, often nonchalantly taking her hand from her hair when in public and redirecting her. I never made it a big issue, more like celebrated it as something that was unique to her. Weird, but definitely unique! Good luck! Leanne F

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B.D.

answers from Boston on

I really don't think ur daughter has any disorders. It just sounds like a behavior she does when frustrated and does it to u too to get a reaction or to make u mad. My 9 month old son pulls his hair when frustrated in the high chair and noticed our reaction and now does it when looking at us. We try not to laugh. I hope ur husband is safe. I just had a family member come home from Iraq and hopefully they all will be home soon. Good Luck!

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J.S.

answers from Providence on

Well my niece doesn't pull her hair out but she's been smacking her head really hard and it looks like she's just trying to see the reaction she's going to get. We've been trying to ignore it because it's really hard not to say something and it looks like it's working.

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