Freaking Out a Little....

You are LUCKY! So are you other 2 kids - to hopefully soon have another sibling to love and play with. I say the more the merrier. I am 41, and have only one of my own, but two step children. I think it will indeed be hard - but what is worth having that is easy?! If you are preggers, it was meant to be. Be happy and good luck!
K.
Kellyis.stayinhomeandlovinit.com

Hi Jamie, three children was interesting for me too. Please don't anticipate problems. The one piece of advice I can give you is that the middle child needs more attention. Have you heard of the middle child syndrom? Basically the middle child feels left out. The older child gets more attention because they can do more than middle child and because of birth order. The baby gets more attention because mommy and daddy are always feeding, rocking, diapering, ect. Just make sure that the middle child has a special time just for them. It could be as simple as reading, a walk, outing, etc. You'll do great because your desire is to be the best mom you can be. Enjoy!

hi Jamie
Well i have 3 girls,7,almost 3 & a 1 1/2 yr old.i can see how you could be terrified but i think it's the not knowing that can freak us out a bit.before i had my 3rd. baby i had moments like this.i live in an upstairs apartment & i was like omg,how am i going to get all of them up there alone??-husband works nights.well i would just hook the carseat in 1 arm diaperbag in other & hold the little ones hand to help her up the stairs.it takes a lot of work but i wouldn't say much more than having 2.plus it was so sweet to see the other day the 2 little ones going up the stairs together holding each others hand.they give each other hugs & play well together.in the beginning i had to really watch the 2nd. one with the baby,she showed some jealously and would try to hit her a couple of times so you can't walk out of the room w the 2 of them alone.we had to show her to be very gentle w her.now that the baby is older they are playing much more together.the older one is great because she can help out.before you have a baby it's easy to freak out about all the what if's but once the baby arrives and is part of the family,things just sorta fall into place.i wouldn't change having my 3rd. baby for anything in the world!!sure times i get stressed but everyone does,even without kids!!as u know your babies are your life & once they are here, you don't even remember how life was without them.i wish you the best and just take a deep breath,everything will work out.keep us posted.....

If God blesses you with another child it is a great blessing. Be happy and thankful. You are truly blessed!! Congratulations if you are. You'll be fine.

I am a mother of three and love it! My oldest just turned four, my daughter is 2-1/2 and my youngest just turned one. I am not going to lie to you... it is difficult. It is hard but WONDERFUL! It gets easier as you figure things out. Scheduling is important...but you figure that out when you go from one to two. Don't stress... you will be blessed!

I was raised with two older brothers, we had a good time for the most part. People who complain about how much harder it is with one more kid are obviously thinking WAY too much about it. Life is hard, parenting is hard. You make your choices and you live with it. If you spent every day second guessing every decision you made you'd drive yourself crazy. Sometimes all you can do, is the best you can with what you've been given. If you have one more, you will find a way to make it work. If your kids are happy now, you're already proving to be a great parent. Goodluck to you, and don't let the naysayers get you down.

Jamie,

I went from 1 to 3 (twin boys) but we didn't know that we were going to have twins until after the first one was born. I know that I would have freaking out through the pregnancy if I did.

Ask for as much help as you can from family, friends, church, exercise group, moms group. I think that it is important to start off the little ones time with their new baby sibling with as little stress as possible. If you aren't able to give them as much attention as they would like then there will be someone else there to do so.

Once you could get around you can join moms groups or mommy and me class. Hook up with friends that have 2 and 3 yr olds and you could trade off childcare.(having playmates over would mean more children but believe me that as long as you have snacks and a place to play, they will be no trouble)

Everything takes a little more time. Once I accepted this I was able to deal with it better. One of my aerobics(helped the stress level alot)instructors gave each mom 5 min. per child to be late to her class. I was the only one that could be 15 min. late to her class and still allowed to stay. Most places won't do that so you will need to recognize how much time you will need with 3 and give yourself enough time to do things.

My three would play together and I didn't know how easy that made it for me until I had a baby boy when they were 12 and 14. Raising a little one so far apart is like have a single one all over again and it is way harder than having 3.

Anyway, just enjoy it if you are pregnant and communicate your fears with others around you and ask for help. Don't worry about your career at this time. There will always be time for that but the window of time is small that you can raise you children with love, caring and joy. Keep the added stress out of the picture if possible.

Crossing my fingers for you,

Evelyn

Jamie,
Having just had our third child four months ago, I was in your same shoes not long ago and the memory is fresh. My husband and I dabbled in the third child pro/con list and decided yes, we definitely wanted another. As with our older two, we got pregnant first try...by the end of the first week of not knowing for sure but have that gut feeling we were, I was terrified at the thought of breaking up the two older childrens relationship and also at the idea of beginning another season of baby years. Even until the few days before Lyla was born I was questioning our decision. Was it the right thing??!
Never did I anticipate the love that came for her in just the moment she was born. Like an instant jolt of contentment for this decision. It is hard to describe this feeling, holding her as her two older sisters look on. We chose to have a family birth, again, and so our 6 year old and our 3 year old were just a couple feet away watching the birth. As soon as she came out the girls were touching her and the family bond solidified. So priceless.
Funny how our parents were part of large families, common to have 7 kids, and now to have 3 the task of parenting seems daunting. What did our grandmothers think? Or shall I say, what were our grandmothers thinking!!
Anyway, whatever your case is, wether you are prego or have another opportunity to rethink, your path will be known when you have a chance to reflect.
On one other note: Things were going so well over here that I confidently purchased a pair of 6 week old German Shepard males. Now that is a decision I only wish I could Rewind and Do Over.
Not such a great idea. They make it seem like more work. The kids though, are still awesome. And if you ever would like to talk, email me back, ____@____.com

Much aloha and Fare you well,
S. Tucker

Hey there..

my mom's cousin had 24 kids. all single babies. All now are christian and have families of their own and they always help her out. its like having 2 baseball teams. lol

so just keep the chin up and think good things. any bad thoughts or feelings on your part, even before the baby is born, can set in a "rejection" feeling in the child.

be determined not to let selfishness or fear take over you. keep positive and happy and loving cause if you are pregnant, you are helping this child develop not just physically but emotionally and so forth.

God bless you!

Hi Jamie,
My hubby and I are also debating having 3 and I hear so many stories... Whether people tell me how much harder it is or it's nothing compared to the transition from 1 to 2... I know that you really don't know until you are in the situation yourself. This being said I have 2 boys, 22 mos. apart (26 mos. and 4 mos.)
I think there is nothing in the world like having kids and being a Mother. It is the most difficult, but most rewarding job I have ever known.
Good luck, whatever your future holds!!!

Dear Jamie,

First, I'd say don't be hard on yourself about being freaked out. I am in the same boat and have come to realize that if I wasn't freaking out, there would be something wrong. I have a 12 year-old, an 8 month-old and now I'm nearly 6 months pregnant...so there was quite a bit of freaking out going on in my house the past few months. But now that I've had a few months to get used to the idea, I'm getting excited about the idea of having another beautiful baby in our family. Yes, I worried about the changes to the family dynamic, but if it's this good now, it can only get better with another special person in our lives. You're a great mom and I know you're going to be so happy with this new addition. Babies are a blessing and a gift... And if none of that helps, all my friends that have 3 or more kids tell me that having 2 is the same as having 4...

Hi Jamie,

I have 2 so I am not speaking from direct experience, but from what I see with the moms in my community is that 3 is not much harder than 2. I know that from 1 to 2 is the big leap, but from 2 to 3, the moms seem to adjust so well, it leaves me a little curious. By the third you are a pro. I say, through caution to the wind here. You are most likely pregnant, and CONGRATULATIONS!!!