Spacing of Children, Suggestions?

I actually only have one child (15 months) but another mom told me that if she were to do it again she would space her children out so that they were at least 18 months apart. She said it was hard to breastfeed a newborn while the 16 or 18 month old was running around. She said they didn't yet develop the concept of staying put for a few minutes until they were older than 18 months.

It has been my experience better my friends and I that 2 years is a good spacing, however if you are set on three kids, although not exactly healthy for you, you could try to have 2 kids within about 13-14 months, before the older one is a handfull but after the early baby stage. My kids are almost 3 years apart and I found that my daughter is very jealus of my son at times and tries to help a little too much.

J., it is such a personal choice. My two are 27 months apart. I liked this because I didn't have two in diapers for too long. The older one potty trained at 3 years. The older is able to help some - by fetching things and doing somethings for himself. The older one was old enough to have just moved to a toddler bed so we didn't need to cribs.
The are close enough that we could do a double stroller for a couple of years (if the older one is too old for a stroller they'll be running off...) and they are close enough that once the youngest was about 1 1/2 they became the BEST playmates. If there is too far of a spread they won't want to play quite as much together. I have a good friend whose kids are 17 months apart, and as much as she likes that now (they are 4 1/2 & almost 6) it was very exhausting when the youngest was born, to basically have two babies - but not at the exact same stages.
But, everything is just a stage - whatever happens, happens and you'll get through it all!

My first three were three years apart and it was great - always one out of diapers (or almost) and fairly self-sufficient by the time the new baby came. Then, when they got older they could never sign up for anything together - they were always just fell into different age catagories (for sports, classes, etc.). Then, when college came being three years apart helped space the costs. But I started having kids at 25. Looking back I'd say go for at least three (long story there, but suffice to say more is better - believe me! -especially in your old age) and space them about 1 1/2-2 years apart. It will be a heavy workload up front, but the benefits later will be great - all the outside activites they may want to try can be timed for at least two at a time coming and going - saves lots of gas, energy and planning. (Another tip - stick to activities within biking distance of home!)

SAHM of seven, my youngest will graduate high school when I'm 65, but it will be worth it!

My kids will be 7 years apart. Now that seems like a huge gap to me as it wasn't planned this way but after a horrible breakup and into a different relationship this is just how things will end up.

I've heard so many people tell me that because they will be so far apart in age it will be 10x easier on me, I'll have a helper and eventually a babysitter etc. I do like that my daughter had plenty of time to be the "baby" the one and only and because baby gear and things have changed so much in the past few years this is very exciting. I haven't changed diapers in years. I'm actually looking forward to it now.

I'd say a minimum of 2 years between kids but even longer if you can.

I once heard a pscyhologist or someone say the perfect age difference was 6 years or something.

give each child the chance to be a baby because once the next little one comes along, a lot of energy is spent on the littlest one. Also, give your body time to heal and to get your groove back. It is very tiring to be pregnant and take care of a small child...they still want to be picked up etc. My first one was 2 1/2 when my second one was born...to me it worked out good as now they like to play with each other.

Hi, I see you have lots of suggestions..but I'll throw mine in too.

I grew up in a family where there were 3 kids. I was 2 1/2 years younger than my sister and 20 months older than my brother. DH was similar. We wanted our kids with in 2 1/2 years of eachother. We feel it helps the kids be closer, friendship wise.

When my oldest was 20 months old I gave birth to our second chile. They are 1 and almost 3 now. They have a lot of fun playing together and they love to sit and play with eachother. This gaping is a little closer than we planned, we started "trying" for number 2 when we did, because we thought it might take a while..but we were suprised when we concieved 1st try. (It took over a year of trying for our oldest, so we were really suprised).

That being said, some things were a little difficult at the beginning. My oldest always liked being a big brother and wanted to help all the time. But the difficutly was in the communication with my oldest..he could understand, but wasn't quite old enough to voice things or communicate back, when I needed him to do things like sit still or play for a while alone, while I tended to a need the baby had. However, with things being the way they are, I wouldn't change what I have for the world.

I guess my opinion is 2 or 2/12 years is good spacing.

There are pros and cons to each. My boys are 3.5 years apart, and I liked that I wasn't rushing my first through babyhood. I was worried they wouldn't play together well, but surprisingly, they really do play together, even at my youngest one's early age. What I wasn't prepared for was:
1) The older was was able to better understand the situation and therefore didn't have the tantrums/jealousy issues that often come along with younger ones. BUT, because he was older (and is bright and articulate), he learned quickly how to push my buttons and manipulate my already hormonal feelings.
2) I had a really close relationship with my firstborn (especially since for a while we thought he'd be our only). The guilt and wistfulness of our time together really did a number on me in those PP weeks and months, and I wonder if the fact that we had so much more time together alone made a difference.

That said, I would not change a thing. I love that I have a big guy and a little guy, only need to cart one stash of diapers, my older was was WAY self-sufficient when baby came, didn't need to buy multiple cribs/high chairs/etc., and get to spend a lot of one-on-one time with each.

What I have found, is that you will know when the time is right. We thought we wouldn't have a second child at all, and then something clicked. I heard from other moms who knew they wanted more than one, that they just knew when the time was right. I think the spacing isn't as important as people think. I think it really depends on what you make of it. Prepare your older child, include him in the new baby's arrival, spend time together as a family of 4 (then 5), and carve out one-on-one time for each...and enjoy the moment. Before you know it, BOTH of them will be off to college. :) Good luck.
S.

We have a 26 month old, a 14 month old and one that will be born in about 5 weeks. It is crazy at our house, but my thought is that they do entertain each other. We are already on lockdown anyway, and doing the diaper thing, so whether there is one child and just do it over and over a few years apart or two to three kids all in the same general age, you are going to be working hard either way. And while it is crazy here, I truly enjoy 95% of my time with them.... lets be realistic, every mom gets burned out at times.

Best of luck with whatever you decide, there are good things having them very close, and having them a little spaced apart.

Our boys are 21.5 months apart & now at alomost 5 & 6.5 yrs they are great playmates (most of the time - at other times my husband reminds me brothers will be brothers & will fight from time to time :) I am an only child, so I have no reference point on fighting or timing. I remember it was a little tough when #2 came along in Aug'03 & ds#1 still needed help getting dressed, etc, especially when winter came along & I had to get two ready in winter clothes in the morning. Let's just say I was glad I only worked 3 days/wk & didn't leave the house on the mornings when I didn't work because I didn't want to deal with all the winter clothes. DH & his brother were 34mos apart -as the older of the 2 DH thought that was too far, so we tried for about 2yrs. Conceived DS2 1st month we tried for him :) I recommend that spacing, but when ds#2 was a yr I wasn't ready to try for #3. But when he was 3yrs old, dh said, if we are going to have #3 it is now or never (I was 32 & he 44 at the time, so he wasn't getting any younger :) So I began to pray to conceive a girl-I wanted a girl & also worried about another boy with such a larger age gap from his brothers. A few months later we learned that #3 was on the way. A week after #2 turned 4yrs #3 was born & Thank God she is a girl. The boys love her, but it is almost like starting over. I hope that helps a little.

This isn't in response to your question, but rather to your last statement about not predicting when you would get pregnant again. I just started reading a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH. Apparently you can be VERY in control of when you get pregnant again! You can also be quite sure about being pregnant without taking a pregnancy test. I just started reading it yesterday and I'm very excited about it. Turns out that not many people really know about this, including doctors. People think it's the rhythm method, and it's not. I highly recommend this book. It's fun to learn something new.

I waited until my daughter was potty trained. I'm 3 months along now with our second. Our daughter just got potty trained by 3 yrs old.I just didn't feel like changing diapers while pregnant. Some don't mind but I really don't want two in diapers at the same time. So one out of diapers before the next one comes along is working for us so far.

Good Luck!

It all depends on what you are comfortable with. Do you prefer the baby stage? Do you prefer the toddler/preschooler stage?
I wanted my children to be two years apart, however, that didn't work out. I suffered 2.5 years of infertility, so I ended up with them being 4.5 years apart. And to be honest, I think it's so much better than if I had gotten what I wanted to begin with. My oldest is such a wonderful helper, loves his little brother like crazy, no jealousy issues at all, and even though my youngest is 17 months, they play together really well. My oldest was old enough when I was pregnant to understand what was happening, the changes that were going to happen. It also was great during the newborn months when I was so busy taking care of the baby, my oldest was able to entertain himself quite a bit and understood that I would play with him when I had a chance.

My good friend had her last 2 children 18 months part. I've seen how very difficult it has been. She is exhausted, frustrated, and just plain tired. It's a lot of work, especially when the older one doesn't understand what's happening, why there's suddenly something else taking away mommy's time from them.

Of course, it's all up to you. If you prefer to have all the baby stuff out of the way and don't mind all the work, having them close in age would work. I hear most siblings close in age have a good relationship.

I am 11 yrs younger than my brothers, and that, though it couldn't be helped (my mom did have a daughter in between but she passed away) I feel it was WAY to much of an age difference. I'm not close to my brothers at all...and feel more like an only child. I feel like I missed out on the whole sibling thing.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

I have four kids, they are now 15,13,11 soon to be 12 and 9 soon to 10. My older two are 2 years and a month, middle two are 16mths apart and my last two are 2 yrs and 9 days apart.
It was rough the first few years because I worked full time and my ex, (notice the ex part.) was absolutly no help. Now that they are all grown up they are well worth it. (most of the time.)

we were shooting for 2/12 years apart or so, but fertility and God had other plans, and my daughter just turned 4 in June and number 2 will arrive in September. I've had lots of people say "oh that's a good age" I think you will find pro's and con's to ANY age difference! I was also 30 when my daughter was born. I would like to have a 3rd (although we'll see how number 2 goes), my husband is undecided, but if we do he has already said we are not waiting so long to start trying! Of course I then teased that of course that would be when we are successful on the first try! I would definitely give it till baby #1 is at least 9 months to a year to start trying. Our "blessing in disguise" for difficulty conceiving was that our daughter was just over 3 years old before she had ANY interest in potty training (but did great once she was ready, only 3 nighttime accidents once she switched to underwear, and NO daytime accidents--BIG blessing!) and thus we did not have the financial burden of buying 2 sets of diapers/pullups! =) List out the pros and cons, financial, emotional, energy, work/daycare if applicable, hobbies/family interests, etc--see if that helps. You're never fully prepared either way! Good Luck!

My sisters kids are not quite 13 mo apart and now they are 7 an 8. One of my other sisters plans to wait longer, me well.... I have two who are 16 mo apart then 26 mo apart and my little girl and the new baby will not be quite a two years apart. Her birthday is September 1st and I am due on August 15th but most likely go a week over! I love it and my kids are close. I think it is all in the eye of the beholder. Some like the close spacing and some dont. If you feel you dont want to be pregnant in your late 30's then go ahead and try in a couple months.

I love having kids close. My brother and I are 17 months apart and we were fine. Now that I have my two - they are about 21 months apart - and I love it! The older is old enough to help, and they will be able to play together. They will be closer than my oldest and his half brother (they are 5 years apart!) But my youngest is 6 weeks, and his brother is almost 23 months. I have already told my husband I will be ready to try (the first two were suprises!) next summer around Eli's 1st birthday!
Also with having them close - you can use all the baby items you have again. (car seats expire after 5 years and things change so quickly)
Good Luck :)

Hi J.,

My first 2 were 2 1/2 years apart and I enjoyed that - both the first 2 1/2 years with my daughter and then the independence she had when our son came along. There are almost 4 years between our 2nd and 3rd child and that, I feel, was too long. Our 2nd child was born with hearing loss so, for that reason we waited to make sure we were ready to add to our family. Not that we were using that as a reason to add, or not to add, but to make sure he was progressing and that another child would not detract from the attention he needed from us. It has just been harder to go back to that baby stage for us.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

We are having our fourth and I often joke about being able to offer advice on spacing because of all of the different spaces we have or will have....Oldest is my daughter. She and my son are 3.5 yrs apart. We had a hard time getting pg with him so I wasn't exactly choosing to space them as such. But, I LOVED that space. I felt like I did so many things with her one on one before he came along. Plus, she was a HUGE help! Then, when that son was 9 months old, I found out I was pg again (surprise!)! These two are 18 months apart. The hard part of being pg that third time was having to carry around my 'baby' who was only one. He still needed so much attention at 18 months when the newborn arrived that I did feel pretty bad for him. I couldn't trust him in another room while I was nursing the baby...it was tough first year or so. But now the two are buds at age 2 and 3.5. It does get better.

Now, we found out we're having #4 - these last two will be 2.5 yrs apart. Being pg with a two year old is going good as he seems so much more independent at 2yrs old and I can only imagine when he's 2.5 how much better he will be. Although, he's a big 'mama's boy'...so we'll see how he handles it. :)

BTW - I was 31 when I had my first and will be 39 with this last....I still feel young. Maybe kids keep you young. :)

Best of luck!! Enjoy every moment with your first it's a unique experience that none of the others will get to have - but they will have the fun of always having a sibling!

This is from babycenter.com:

• Timing pregnancies less than 18 months or more than five years apart could raise the odds of the second baby being born prematurely, at low birth weight, or small for gestational age, according to a recent study in the Journal of the American Medical Association. With too short an interval, researchers theorize, the problem may be that a mother's body needs more time to recover from the stress and depleted nutrients of the first pregnancy; with longer spacing, the problem could be that fertility gradually declines after a woman delivers.

• Waiting 18 to 23 months after the birth of your last child before conceiving another seems best for the new baby's health, according to a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine. Doctors found that babies conceived less than six months after the birth of a previous child are 40 percent more apt to be born prematurely or underweight. And those conceived more than ten years after the prior sibling face about double the risk of preterm birth.

• A similar study at the University of California in San Francisco found that the ideal interval between babies is 24 to 35 months. Babies conceived sooner had a higher incidence of low birth weight.

My children Joshua and Keli are 19 months apart. It has worked out wonderfully as they play together a lot. When Keli was born, Joshua was not really too jealous as I think he was just young enough not to really understand things enough to feel displaced. They will be just one year apart in school, so I think they will continue to stay close as they grow older since they can share the same interests and activities. Joshua is 5 now and often tells me he is going to marry Keli when he is older and Keli who is 3 almost 4 says that Joshua is her best friend. That is the kind of bond I wanted between my children. Don't get me wrong, we have had some issues with jealousy and sibling rivalry, but not even close to what I experience with my sister and brother (My sister was 4 years older and hated it that I wanted to tag along.) I wouldn't plan any closer than 15 months apart as you need to give your body time to recover, I think you'll be happy with anything after that. I was 32 and 34 when I had them, so I understand the desire not to wait too long. The second pregnancy was much harder on my body than the first, so keep in mind how you'll deal with the pregnancy as well.

J.,
Sounds like we are pretty similar. I was a month away (exactly) from my 30th birthday when we had our first child. Knowing that we wanted to have more than 1, but also wanting to have a little distance between them, we waited a little while before we opted to try again. We got pregnant right away again the 2nd time, and our 2nd baby was born when our oldest was 2 months shy of turning 3. For us, it felt right because our oldest was really able to understand what was happening and that there was a baby on the way from the beginning. When the baby was born, there was a little jealousy which we handled and it passed pretty uneventfully. It's been a year since the baby was born and my oldest recently told me that he "loves being a big brother."
The big question came up with do we want to have more than 2? If you've done the math, you can guess I'm almost 34 now and my husband's a couple years older. The decision was ultimately not left up to us: we were surprised to find out a month ago that we're pregnant yet again. When this one arrives, our 2nd will be a little shy of 2 years old, and the oldest will be 4 1/2. It will be busy and interesting, but we feel confident it will work out fine - it always seems to.
Hope you found this helpful.
K.

It's recommended waiting 18 months before getting pregnant again to allow your body to completely heal and recover from pregnancy. HOwever, I know there are several people whose children are less than 2 years apart! =) I can understand your not wanting to having your child in your late 30s- I feel the same way!

We recently talked about this at my moms group. The moms that have more than one child were glad to have them spaced at least 2 yrs apart. One mom suggested that parents who want to become pregnant with in a year of giving birth only say that because there child isn't over 9 months yet. She was suggesting that parenting becomes more demanding as kids start moving around.

We spaced ours 3 years apart. The 3 year old had then been out of diapers for 6 months already. So it was great to not have two in diapers. My brothers and sister were all 2 years apart and that was okay too. Either spacing has it's own good and bad. You and your husband can decide together.
If you space three years apart and have three total, sounds like you would be done around age 35, not bad. Best of luck on this decision.
God Bless -
D.

Hi J.-When my 1st was 5 months we started thinking about #2 and we were hoping to space them 18 months apart but we just couldn't get pregnant and I think it was for the best, when my 1st was 18 months she went through some pretty rough terrible two's that I did not see coming and thankfully we had it pretty nipped by age 2. All of my girls are two years apart and I have to say I love this particular age seperation. It's enough that they still have seperate things going on but they still play wonderfully together. If we go for #4 we'll be pregnant by the fall for another 2 year seperation. Oh, and don't worry about having kids too late. I know a women who just had baby #9 at age 41!!! Good luck!

I spaced mine 2 1/2 years apart and it was REALLY nice...It's ALOT of word when they are younger so BE prepaired if you want them closer in age...Just remember what's the Rush??(There are people having kids in their 40's) Do what is best for your family!!

For me, three years apart was perfect. I'm an older mom (had my first at 43 and second at 46). In terms of energy and work load, three years apart is great spacing. Best of luck to you.

No experience with parenting kids close together but growing up my brother was 1.5 years older than me and my sister 2 years older than him. My brother was always my best friend, and I really liked having one year of high school with my sister even though she ignored me, but my mom was pretty overwhelmed by us 3 and would have my sister "take care" of us and be the helper all the time and she was very resentful for many years of my brother and i. Also, my brother and i teamed up against her since she had that power over us. Now that my sister and i both have kids we are becoming good friends but it took a long time. My only advice is to try not to load too many things onto the oldest. (Side note-my mom was single so that is also a factor in how we were raised.)

I have a lot of different spaces in between our chidren! My absolute favorite is to conceive around their 12th month. The two who are that close are great friends! We have a few who are closer together and they are not friends. And we have some that are much further apart, and they are not friends.

20 months is my favorite spacing, but I would go closer together than further than that.
Plus, the further over 30 I get, the harder the pregnancy has gotten. I have friends who have pregnancies in their 40's with no problems, but I haven't had that experience.

J., I had 3 kids in 39 months. My first two are 22 months apart -- my oldest was 13 months old when I got pregnant. That I could handle. When my middle guy was 7 months old, I found out we were expecting a surprise! I was terrified! I will say that having the last two only 17 months apart was much harder on my body, but I now wouldn't change it for the world. My best advice is to talk to your doctor and decide what you can handle. How long do you want to have 2 kids in diapers? Are you prepared to put your oldest child in a "big kid bed" sooner than others because you need the crib for the baby? Just things to think about. It's really hard sometimes having them so close together, but again, I wouldn't trade it for the world. They're play buddies and such good friends. I hope we can foster relationships that last forever. I say you are the only ones who can decide, along with information from your doctor, whether or not to have them close together. BY the way -- I will be 30 in December, and we are TTC #4 (our youngest just turned 2)!

My first and second were 22 months apart....and now (in round 2), my third and fourth will be 20 months apart. I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm on my second marriage and the gap between my 2nd and 3rd is too big (10 years)....makes the 3rd seem like an only child (therefore #4 is on its way).
I would much rather have them closer -- that way when they are adults, they can be friends too!

I'd space the children out. For example: have a child every 2 or 4 years. I heard some place they get along a little better or something to that effect.

C.

I have three and i would say not to space them as i did. I have a 12 year old and 8 year old so that is 4yrs. I also have a 6m old so that is 8 years between them. My hubby wants another one too. We think we are going to wait till the 6m old is a year and then decide if we want anymore. I was 3yrs apart from my brother. I have to say that i think the 2years is perfect. That gives your body time to heal and also time to get your toddler to sleep in a toddler bed also.

I'm in the same exact situation as you. Hubby and I are still debating if we want to stop at two or try for a third. I was 30 when our first was born and we're expecting a second in January (they'll be 20 months apart). The second pregnancy came as a bit of a shock since we weren't exactly trying just yet (we'd just started discussing when we should start trying). Like you, I want to be done with having children before I reach the "advanced maternal age". I have Type I diabetes and so my pregnancies are already considered high risk. No need to add more complications to that. To be honest with you, I'm thrilled to be pregnant again this soon. Yes, it will be challenging to have two in diapers, but my daughter has been a wonderful kid so far and I can't imagine that having a second baby will change her all that much. It all just depends on how you handle the second one. At 20 months, Lily will be old enough that I can give her small jobs to do (throwing diapers away, handing me items for dressing the new baby) so that she feels included and important as well. According to all the doctors I've seen, it's best to wait at least 9 months after the birth of a child before starting to try for the next and when you do start, make sure you're on prenatals and are getting enough folic acid. As long as you do those things, there shouldn't be any problems with having your children close together.

And like someone else said, it just depends on what you're comfortable with and what you want to do.

My daughters are 18 months apart. Andie was 2 in April and Kacie is almost 9 months. I love it and I wouldn't have it any other way!! They really love eachother and now that the younger one is crawling and socializing more they sit and play together. There is nothing more precious!!
I'm glad they are 18 mo apart. I have friends who had their second child when their older one was 2.5 or older. They did not adjust as well. They had so much more ''alone''time with mom that they cried whenever they held the new baby, they retaliated and threw things in the baby's crib and were sometimes violent towards the baby or mom and dad. Of course all kids will react differently but I have noticed much less drama when they are closer in age (2yrs or less)

Good Luck!!

You have already gotten some great advice, but I thought I would add my situation in too. With #1 we tried for 2 years to have her, so #2 came as a complete surprise and they are 17 months apart. Then I have a 3rd and the 2nd and 3rd are 22 months apart. I have all girls and they play soooooooo well together (they also fight well too). I truly think that you will kow what is right for your family, especially after reading all of these responses, you will feel pulled towards some of them.

I am the oldest and my sister came 4 years later, then my brother and sister were 2 years apart. I was always so jealous of their relationship growing up, because I was out of the house at college and they were going to high school together and had mutual firends, etc.. therefore, I wanted my children closer together. I will admit it has been alot of work, but I would obviously not change it for the world. My OB told me that 3 years apart was too long in his opinion because when you go on a vacation each child would have different interests (whether I buy that or not, that was his take). But, I am now expecting #4 and they will be 4 1/2 years apart, so it goes to show that what is meant to be will be. Good Luck, you will know what feels right!!!!

SAHM age 34 to 3 beautiful girls that are 7, 5 1/2, and 4, and expecting #4.

We didn't get a choice on the spacing of our kids...but I highly recommend 18 months! I delivered one at 32 & the other at 33...and was glad not to have waited longer. It's lots of work at first, but each year has gotten easier and easier (they're 8 & 9 now). They are best buddies and they take care of each other (when they're not fighting, of course). Good luck!

J.,

I have two boys that are 20 months apart, and I think that was great for them. My first was 11 months when I got pregnant. I think much closer than that would be hard, I have a friend with two that are 17 months apart and it was really hard on her first when baby came. My first adjusted really well, and now (at 3) doesn't remember before the second so life is normal for him.

My nephew was 3 when his sister was born and it was really hard for him. He was literally in denial about it and pretended she wasn't real for the first few weeks! :)

My third baby is due Nov. 16 (a girl) and my second will be 2 on Dec. 4 so they will be nearly 24 months apart. I think for my second, it will be hard, because he is very much a mama's boy.

What I like is that I haven't gotten out of "baby phase" yet, all the stuff is close by (not packed away), I haven't slept well in a few years so a few more won't be that big of deal (LOL!). I think it would be harder to go back to having a new baby if it had been 3 or 4 years since you had one.

Good luck with your decision!

J.
SAHM to Charlie (3) Joey (19 months) and #3 in Nov.

I think 3 years apart works well. My brother is 3 yrs older than me, and my 2 kids are 3 yrs apart too. I feel bad for the moms with 2 or 3 kids under 3 yrs old. That is A LOT of work :)

J.,

All four of my kids are 2 years apart - give or take a few months either way. I love this. It has worked great for our family. I nurse the baby for a full year, catch my breath and my husband and I have a second honeymoon, then we are ready to get pregnant again. I like this gap for several reasons.

- If the first is the only child for too long, it can create a lot of jealousy when the second comes along. My first can't even remember being the only (21 months old when #2 came along) and it's a good thing.
- The older child is still definately napping when you are pregnant and have a new baby. That is when you really, really need the break.
- The older is also old enough to start doing more things independently when you really need them more independent.
- The kids are far enough apart in age to have their own friends and interests, but close enough in age to play together and like the same activities. My only sister and I are 6 years apart and had nothing in common until I left for college. We fought constantly growing up and never had the same interests. She was too little to play when I was a kid, then when she was old enough to play, I was a teenager and didn't want to anymore. It was important to me for my kids to be close friends.
- I wanted to call it quits by age 35 and my last was born when I was 34. My first was born when I was 28 and I could really feel the difference in my body pregnant at age 28 and at age 34. Plus, we have been blessed and fortunate enough to have 4 healthy children and I felt like we were really gambling with our good fortune to keep trying for more after age 35. I know lots of people who do have healthy babies after 35, but it wasn't a risk I was willing to take when I already had 4 small kids.

Good luck with your decision,
S.

I tried when my first was 9 months old but they ended up 25 months apart and I like that but I think they'd play better if closer together. No predicting that though either. They fight often and I'm sure they would if they were close together too. I'd just start trying when your first is 9 months to a year old and do the same when conceiving your third and you should be under 35 when you're done.

Our girls are 15 mos and 3 days apart. It has worked out very well for us. We were pretty much done with diapers and bottles around the same time. There were tough times when they were very young as neither slept through the night until around 3 years old and I worked full time as a teacher. They have grown up best of friends, however. My husband would have liked to have had another when my youngest was around 5 but it was so nice with all the diapers and potty training and not sleeping at night over. It is a hard decision. Best of luck.

I was 31 when my son was born, now 18 months, and I too wanted to have at least 2 children, if not more before 35. I had a beautiful little girl in January. My kids are 12 months and 10 days apart and I love it! The hardest part was teaching my son to walk when I was in my third trimester. My advice is go for it! My husband and his brother are 18 months apart and they are best friends...they went to college together and were in the same fraternity. The great thing about having them close in age is that your oldest will never go through the "dethroning" period, where all of a sudden this strange creature comes in and takes over mommy and daddy's attention. For my son he was so young when his sister was born that he will never know or remember life without her in his life. Now that she is 6 months old I can see them interacting a lot more...he makes her laugh and they even play together...if she is crying he will go check on her and bring her her doll (it is REALLY cute!) So, my advice is go for it...just make sure that your oldest sleeps through the night because those first few months will be hard when your 2nd is waking to feed. Once they are both sleeping through the night it is a breeze. Good luck!