Ex Husbands New Wifes Dad Is dying....did You Follow That?

Whatever they request in the obituary is the way to go.
If no charity is specified, I'd send flowers to the FH or send them a flowering shrub to their home that they can plant in remembrance of Dad.

If you're friends with her or very friendly, you can send flowers to her or to the funeral home or give a donation to the charity the family stipulates if they do. Also, just sending a card is nice as well. Basically any expression of sympathy is appreciated by a grieving family member.

In my opinion, treat her like part of the family. Because she is.
What would you do for any other member of the family?

When I got married, my husband's ex mother in law sent us a card. Of all the cards and gifts and congratulations, hers was the most beautiful and most thoughful. It really touched me. My husband and I aren't married anymore, but our son has a close relationship with her still. She's a sweetheart. And, she is seriously ill and elderly. We got her a card.
We're not really family in any sense of the word anymore, but we still treat her that way and care about her.
This woman is part of your life. She's losing her daddy.
By virtue of that, your children will be affected by the loss.
Teach your children by example how to have a gracious heart.

Best wishes.

Any of the above is great. If they live close by, you could even send them a meal right now.

You are a good woman. Your children are watching and learning from you and will appreciate your great relations ships with each other. .

If you have a good relationship with her, I would send a card or flowers to her home to express your condolences. (not the funeral home). The last thing she needs is to have to explain things to her family at a time like that.

All of the above is great so which ever. It is great you all get along so well, and that being said her dad is like an extended G-pa to your kids, they spen time with him even if you have not spent alot with him directly. It would show them the repect as well as her.

I am sorry for you and your families loss.

I relly commend you for being able to include your ex husband and his new family in your life. I hope they treat you with the same respect.

In this particular case, it all depends on how close you (and/or your children are) to his current wife. Flowers and a card are appropiate, if there is any level of closeness.

Either one or all of the above. How close are you and the ex-wife? The person who is passing and your children? That will make a difference.

When someone is dying, any recognition of condolence or sympathy is appreciated.
Not knowing how your relationship is with your ex or his new wife, I'd simply make a gesture and even call to say, "I'd like to do something in his honor, any suggestions?"

At times like these, it's the simple gestures of humanity that make all the difference, and whatever you choose, make it heart-felt and genuine.

you sound like you have no hard feelings.. i would send a donation and you and the kids can go to the service/mass if you feel that's ok.. i think she would be touched with that.. do the kids know him too? if so maybe they can make a card or picture for him in....

First of all...good for you for even considering how she's feeling!!!Too many families cut the lines when divorce happens and the children are the ones who suffer for it!!I think a donation to a charity would certainly be a nice gesture in this case!You are showing her that she matters in your family and that you care about her as well!!Good for you!!Your kids are very lucky to have a mom who is unselfish and I really commend you for including your husbands wife in any dealings with your family!!!All the best......

A sympathy card from your family would be sufficient.

First, it's so sweet that you want to do something to help the family through this difficult time. What you do should be based on your relationship - how close are you to HER family (as opposed to just your ex and the kids)?
If you have a pretty close relationship with her whole family, I'd say send flowers to the funeral.
If you really just know her, I'd just send a card to them, no money.

I am good friends with my ex's wife and we have had little in the way of issues since we first divorced. I think anything you offer to do is fine, from keeping all the kids during the funeral to helping during the family hours where they sit and have visitors at the funeral home, etc...there are many ways to help even if you are in a different area. If a lot of family are going to be descending on them how about a care package of paper plates, toilet paper, stationary for thank you notes from the wife to people who sent flowers or helped with the meal...so many resources are consumed when a lot of people get together in one place.

I think if you know the dad and have a personal relationship with him then it would be okay to attend the funeral or funeral home visitation. Otherwise I would not go.

You can ask what they would like for you to do to help too. They may not even know what they need. Just making the offer may be enough to let them know you care.

How sweet are you!! Any one the choices you gave are great!

If you are close to her, then sending flowers and calling is appropriate.

Any of your ideas would be appropriate. A nice card, flower or a casserole dish to be used later would be great. Any type of recognition of her feelings would be appropriate. You are a great women!

This actually happened to me - I was the 'new'' wife and my dad passed away. At the time, I didn't get along with the ex. However, she sent a card, which I thought was incredibly thoughtful and was much appreciated.

I'd send a card and a donation to charity. If you are close, certainly sending over some food one day (all those arrangements are exhausting and the last thing on your mind is food). I still remember the people that brought over dinner, because it was taking care of a basic need that I didn't have the focus or energy to even worry about.

O would suggest, do what you are comfortable with. My parents divorced when I was very young and were not on good terms. When my father passed my mother sent my sisters and I sympathy cards, each our own. That ws huge to us and we were appreciative of that. If you are on good terms I think flowers and card would be sufficient and appreciated. Regardless of who it is, anyone going through a terrible time should appreciate something like that.

First off, let me say how refreshing it is to hear of a divorce situation where the families get along! What a great thing for your children.

I think it'd be very nice of you to send a card with a donation to a charity.