Double Edged Sword...

S.

i agree with what michelle says we were all teenagers once, and the more you try to stop her the more she will want to be with him, my step daughter began dating her boyfriend at 14 he was 18...they are still together and she is a senior in high school and just turned 18, it can work out...but then again it maynot, just like michelle says monitor her and him, let her know just to be careful, he may hurt her, make sure she has had the birds and bees talk, and put it in GOds hands. good luck

L.

S.
I feel your pain my dtr will be 18 the 28th of this month and I went through this with her, the more you push her and try to tell her hes always wrong the more she will run to him and away from you, just listen to her and kind of monitor what she does what they talk about and be very open minded, 15 is an awkward age for all girls......but i do wish you the best of luck....

S.-

You didn't really offer much information. Do you think the boy is dangerous? Do you think he is encouraging her to do things he shouldn't?

I've read the other responses and I have to say I disagree. You are the parent. Your daughter is only 15 years old. If you don't want to tell her not to see him, that's fine, but you can set some ground rules. Maybe he can see her, but only at your house and if you are home. Give her a curfew and make her account for where they are and what they will be doing. If you think she is being dishonest, check on her. Some people might say that's a breech of trust, but I think you'd much prefer a breech of trust to a pregnant 15 year old. If he "loves" her then he will abide by your rules. YOU are the parent, you ultimately make the decision until she is old enough or has shown that she is adult enough to make these decisions on her own (or she moves out/ turns 18). If she is being manipulated, then it's obvious that she is not ready to make these decisions without guidance.

Good luck- it's a tough call.

R. :)

S.,
I have a sister that dated her husband now, but not really together but long story, but they started seeing each other at when she was 14. It was a bad age and bad time. All my mom did is try to keep her away from him and it was bad from than and till this day she wishes that she would of listen to my mom but she was only a teen and going to do what she wanted to do. My sister always said that if everyone would of left her alone she thinks she would of left him alone and went on and done better but it is so much of a long story and bad one and i don't want to scare you so if anything i could ask my sister for you what she thinks you should do b/c well she was a teen that did that and i know that she would tell me. Please feel free to email me at ____@____.com if you want me to ask her b/c i know when i was a teen i didn't want anyone to be telling me what to do. But as everyone has already said put it in gods hands b/c god will make it right in the end b/c he did with my sister......i hope the best.......

Be careful with this one. More could be going on than what you would want to know. This young man is over 18. Your daughter is still a minor so step up and do what ever you have to do to cut this influence he has over her even if you have to talk to authorities about it. This is not a good sign that you have described.

i know that at her age, if you forbid her to see him, it will just make things more enticing. but you need to let him know, that you don't aprove of his spending time with you daughter and you won't hesitate to call the police if you even suspect any inappriate behavior. but you need to talk to your daughter and explain that you love her and are there for her to talk and listen and support her, encourage her to rekindle the freindships she had with the girls at school and try to get her involved in some activites like sports, dancing, cheerleading, volunteering, etc...something to distract her from him. also make sure with watch for any changes in her bahavior, grades, mood,,,young girls are very impreshonable and can easily fall into abusive relationhips, not just physical but emotional and verbal.

S.,

I am not sure how to respond because I am going through a similar situation. I have a 13 year old that has totally changed since she started talking to a 17 year old. She has nothing to do with her old friends but now talks trash about them. He controls her and plays mind games. I would like to see them go their separate ways but her dad says if we make her break up with him she will run away or be so distant from us that we will not ever know what she is into or doing. Sometimes I just want to give up but I refuse.... Anyway, wish I could be more help, sorry.

B.

In high school, one of my best friends did the same thing. It got very intense and she was very controlled. She withdrew from all of her friends, including me.

My only advice is to let time take its course. If you try to keep her from him, they will only try harder.

You may try to do things that boost her self-esteem. Try and keep a close relationship with her by not pushing her away with critisizm. In my friends case, it got physically abusive and very mentally abusive. If it goes that far, keep her from him by any means necessary. Also if this is a sexual relationship--it is illegal. He is too old, so if need be then this legal angle could be taken.

If you want to discuss the details, then feel free to send me a personal message. Good luck.

It sounds to me like he's controlling. That's a huge red flag for an abuser. Have you ever seen this boy? Do me a favor...e-mail me at ____@____.com...I need more information and may have some information for you in turn. It might be nothing or it may be a very bad situation...but I need more information to figure it out.

The Marines will at least help with them not seeing each other right now, but once he's home if they're still talking it could get serious. My hubby is a Marine, and they do a lot of growing up in boot camp, and a lot of them also realize what kind of woman they want in a relationship...if it's your daughter, he will probably profess his love for her and they'll do everything they can to stay together. He might get stationed stateside, or if you're lucky, he'll go to like Japan or something. Heck, with the way things are going right now, he'll probably get shipped to Iraq. But, if he does stay stateside, you'll have to deal with her wanting to visit him all the time. Who knows, hopefully with the time he'll be gone for boot camp their relationship will kinda dissolve. Either way, when he gets out of boot camp he will be a completely different person, trust me. Good luck...I have a young daughter and my husband is already dreading the day she grows up and starts dating. I'll just have to remind him that he was one of those "bad boys" at one point too. :)