Donating Your Eggs....

I have not personally donated eggs but feel different than most for a couple of reasons: I sold IVF supplies for 13 years, I heard some of the most amazing stories. Also, my daughter is adopted, not because of fertility issues but because she needed a home. I have never needed those eggs on a monthly basis so it would have been awesome if someone else could utilize them. I'm not that hung up on genetics and lineage.

If you feel at all uncomfortable or wrong, it is not for you and you shouldn't feel bad about that.

Donating eggs is an invasive process. Research this. You don't just walk in and give an egg. If he wants money, he can get another job. Donating eggs, should not be about the money...in my opinion. It involves an actual medical procedure. You go through a screening. One you would probably not pass, since it's just for money, and you have doubts. You are doing this for the WRONG reason. Someone else wanting YOU to do something when you don't want to, is a bad idea. Watch the movie Momofmany suggested. And do research.

If I remember right, this is also the husband you kicked out recently, because he called your child names, and verbally and emotionally abused her. Perhaps, you should not follow the advice and wishes of someone like that, and not allow him to control and manipulate you into an invasive process involving your DNA. Just a suggestion.

Umm...you should never do anything that *feels* wrong to you just because someone else (even your husband) thinks it's a good idea. There are a lot of other ways to make extra income. Good luck.

If you are already feeling like you would be abandoning your child then dont do it....your selling your soul.... there are other woman out there that are not emotionally attached to their eggs, they can donate.

I could never do it. I was adopted by two people that have such totally different personalities than I do, it was a nightmare growing up. Well mom having bi polar didn't help either. That is the thing though, you have no control over who gets the eggs. Imagine that mom and dad at your kids school that you kids think are the worst, that they would never be friends with their kids cause their kids are strange too. Imagine them getting your eggs. Imagine how miserable your eggs would be then.

The key is to change your way of thinking. If you donate eggs you WILL NOT actually have a child out there, because it will not be you who carries it or gives birth to it, who raises it, or loves it. It will be her child, you will just be providing a way for that other woman's dream of motherhood to come true.

As a side note, I would do it in a heart beat, but not for money. The thought of helping someone else find the joy I get from kids everyday would make me feel so happy. Unfortunately, I can not donate. If you do decide to do it, don't make it about money, do it for the joy you will be giving to another, and don't let anyone force you into it!

I don't see a problem with donating eggs and getting paid for your time and trouble. After all, the process is hard on your body. It's not like donating blood, where you go in, they stick a needle in your arm, you squeeze a rubber ball for a few minuts, and you're done. Donating eggs involves taking fertility drugs and surgery. It's not selling a baby - it's giving someone else the raw materials to make a baby and getting compensated for your contribution.
And I wouldn't consider a child conceived from an egg I donated "my" child, and more than I would consider blood someone else received from my donation to the blood bank "my" blood. Once you donate it, it's no longer yours.

I think it takes someone with a very different mindset to do that. I also don't see the point when there are so many children in need of adoption. If I were you I would find just about any other way to make money. If you think you'll have problems with it, you will. I personally wouldn't be able to do it.

My friend did it so she could get a boob job. Personally I could never do it. I would never trust that the person raising my biological child would meet my standards and I would always miss that child and have an empty feeling for them. What if the child got molested by a family member, or the parents were weird racists or who knows what? I would always worry. I know there are people desperate for children, but there are unadopted children desperate for parents too, so eggs are not their only option. I would hate to compete with those kids waiting for forever families. I would rather work nights at Wal-mart stocking shelves.

There is a documentary called Eggsploitation. You should watch it. It has ruined so many women's lives donating eggs. And, you are right: you would have children out there that you will never know. Even though someone else is raising them, in whatever fashion suits them, they are your children. I could never do that!

Don't do it because you are having money trouble!!!!! That would cause HUGE issues within you personally and possibly your marriage as well. Please think long and hard about this and talk to others who have done it. GL with your decision.

M

Here's a link to a similar question to get you started: http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/1682511329090469889.

Psychologically, if you would feel sad and hurt, go through screening first. That's a big red flag not to do it. You can get money other ways (i.e. second jobs, re-budgeting).