Does Anyone Have Any Suggestions About Potty Training Twin 31/2 Yr Old Boys?

Hi J.-

The best advice I can give you is the get the book "How to Potty Train in One Day". It is an older book, but it really works. I don't have time right now to explain all of it, but if you want more info, just email me back and I'll fill you in on more. My daughter was over 4 before she potty trained (strong willed) and this saved my life!

Hi J., My oldest boy too, didn't potty train until almost 4. I had another baby and he wanted the attention like the baby. I don't know if this will help you but how I got my son to finally take the leap, was I told him okay he can stay in a diaper, but I will have to tell Santa that you are still a baby,(because babies where diapers), and to give you baby toys, not big boy toys. If you could adapt it some how to now because X-mas isn't around the corner. But the thought of going backwards in toys for my son, made him want to potty train!! I wish my boys liked being dressed, I have a hard time keeping clothes on them! But try boxer shorts, they have a slit they can just pull it out to pee, they don't have to take it off.

J.,
You may want to take all the diapers away, go shopping for new underware with the boys, let them pick them out, explain that there will be no more diapers only underware put them on as soon as you get home. (you may need at least 2-3 days at home all day to do this) Don't fall back on the pull-up or diapers get rid of them! after awhile they will get sick of wet pants and start using the potty. Everytime they wet their pants talk to them about the feeling and that if they go on the potty they wont feel wet or stinky. Ask them what they want (a toy, a game, food, or even a party) for doing a great job on the potty. I have 2boys 8mo old and I don't look forward to this. My sister had good luck with this with both her boys and so did 3 of my girlfriends. I know I will try it when the time is right.

Good Luck
Tammy N

I am not at potty trainig yet. My oldest is 2. But my friend has the train over a weekend plan. She would focus on that one child (in your situation I would work on one child at a time - whoever you think is more ready than the other) and she would give them lots to drink! I am talking every 15 mins she would have him drink 4oz (or more if he wanted) of any liquid (choc milk, milk shake, all juices, water, coolaid lemonaide, etc) and every 10-15 mins she'd take him to the toilet to go. She would sit with books or a cd player until he would tinkle. If he was still on the potty and hadn't gone within 15 min the kid was drinking while on the toilet. All the while the child is not wearing diaper but undies. Nice new character undies to make it more fun. She did this all day for 3-4 days and voila! Potty trained!(Diapers at night ofcourse) If an accedent occured simply change it and maybe have him go to the potty every 5-10 mins. Accedents are good lessons! Don't get upset but calmly talk to him and basically think outloud for him. Eg."Opps! I went in my pants! I am supposed to go in the potty. Next time I feel like I need to go I will run quickly to the potty. When I wet my pants It doesn't feel very good. Next time I will do a better job. Now we will just have to get cleaned up and try again.

When he was watching a video or sitting any where she would put a water proof mattress cover under him cause he was drinking so much. After that 4 day stint - NO MORE DIAPERS! This makes it so the child does not fall back on them. Even if accedents happen. Don't give into the diaper or even pull ups. You will just need to be at home more during this time. He will get it.

Then you will do the same with your second son.

God bless you! It sure sounds like He already has! Hope this helps.

We made it fun when our sons were ready to potty train. They sat on the toilet backwards and pretended they were riding the horse. It wasn't such a chore to go then, because they pretended they were riding a horse (at times played with cars on the top of the tank), did their job and no messes. Don't worry, as soon as they were potty trained with no accidents, they preferred to stand up as normal for boys when urinating and sit normal for bowel movements. It just made that four to six months of training easier to get through. Just a thought.

My son hated sitting on the seats because he said it hurt so my mother-in-law told me to turn him around so he was sitting on it backwards and it worked great and he is facing they way he would when he actually was tall enough to stand-up.

I've read all the replies and was floored when I read Sheila M.'s reply. I don't think anyone adheres to those potty Nazi type of ideas anymore. Don't feel badly that your boys aren't potty trained yet or that one has regressed. It is quite natural. At this age, children are learning how to gain control of themselves. Going to the potty is about control. I second the idea of getting rid of the diapers and pull-ups. Tell your boys that when the package is gone, you will not be buying anymore. Take them to the store to pick out their own underwear. Your one son may have accidentally flushed the toilet while on it and that is what scared him. Show him that only "pees and poops" will fit down that toilet and that he can't be hurt. Praise them when they sit on the toilet and go. Make a big deal about it. If they have an accident, the main thing is to STAY CALM. Assure them that it is okay and next time they need to try a little harder to make the potty. Have them help you clean up. If you make it a more pleasant experience, you will see success much quicker. Just remember--lots of praise when they get it right! I'm rooting for you.

Try buying them their favorite characters underwear and let them put one on. Tell them that they will get to wear them when they don't potty. Let them wear them off and on as an incentive...show them the brand new packages and see if that works.

My son was also a premies, he was born at 29 weeks, waided 2 plbsand 6 ount, he is now 17 and taller then I am. He took a little more time then usuauly. I found that he was scared to go to the bathroom because he was scared of being sucked down the toilet.... Yes it was a silly thing, but indeed it was also a terrifying thing for him. I made it fun for him, we would read or sing. I also put a few fruit loops in the toilet and he had to aim at them. It really helped him get over the fear. So fear could be a part. Sometimes they don't want to take the time off playing to go potty.

My husband and I are teachers with a 17 year old son. A.

I have a little 2 1/2 girl who is doing well with her potty training. She is half way there. We did change her potty seat recently from Dora to Princess and it made a difference in how many times she goes. I bought her favorite cartoon character panties and if she wears them fine, if not she has plain cotton ones too. We clap and sing and get real excited when she goes too. She's early in the game so we're not really worried about it. The child will go when he or she is ready. We don't stress about it. They'll only be young once. I'm enjoying it.

My friend has a little boy and she puts cheerios in the toliet for him to aim at. Another friend has a drawer of goodies (from the dollar store) and when her boy goes to the potty she gets a small toy or a favorite healthy snack.

Hope this helps.

Dina

Hi J.,

I have two boys- now 9 and 6. They weren't any problem to potty train, but I will share with you a technique I read about and that I have used for other "growing up" issues with my kids.

Announce that this is the last bag of diapers in the house, and that when they are gone, they are gone. Purchase the boys ten pairs of underpants each (you can let them pick out the characters) and dress them in underpants when the diapers are gone. You will have to be strong and patient during this time-but they will not like the feeling of wet underpants or poopy pants, and using the toilet will become the desired option.

During this period, treat the "accidents" very matter of factly- and change their clothes as needed. If it truly isn't a developmental problem- they will get tired of the accidents real quick. Good Luck!

T.

I wouldn't use the seat on the big potty and stick with a potty chair. My son was terrified of the big potty for quite sometime.

How about a reward chart. They go potty, they get to put a sticker on the reward chart. Once they get to (how many you choose) stickers on their reward chart, they get to go shopping at the dollar store and pickout and PAY for their own reward! My kids LOVED the dollar store when they were young and we used the reward poster for different things we needed to change. It worked quite well I thought.

I also had books by the potty when they needed to go, they got to choose the book (I kept short stories) and I would read it to them. Then also picture books so if they needed to sit longer, I could leave the bathroom while they enjoyed pictures. I wouldn't do the candy reward. That is my personal thing .. I don't like food rewards (too many eating disorders out there)

Most of all PATIENCE .. it really is in their time and one day it will just click .. it happens almost overnight.

Good luck .. hang in there. :)

I could not DISAGREE with Sheila more - no, no, no! If you freak out and get angry and stressed, your kids will freak out and get stressed and you'll be potty training 5 year olds (somewhere in between counseling appointments, I'm sure). All kids are different. The more you try to force the issue the more fight you've got on your hands (sounds like x 2 for you). Be patient, this too shall pass ;)

I put the kids in underwear and then put a diaper over it. When they went, they knew right away and recognized that they didn't like the feeling of being wet. It also gave them the satisfaction of wearing underwear, but saved me from cleaning up puddles or changing outfits 15 times a day.
We tried the turn around backward appraoch too and I think it was a good tool. It elimates a lot of the fear of falling in and minimized the mess from misses. We also had both boys sit down to pee. It's easier to get them started that way - they can master standing and aiming later on.
For boy number 2 we bought a potty chair that looked like a prince's throne and played music after something hit the bottom. It was a nice reward when he got the job done.

Our first son was pooping on the pot at 18 months, but would happily sit in a dripping wet pull-up all day long. We took what we could get and encouraged him to try once in a while. At 3 yrs, 3 months we were packing for vacation and he came in and announced that when he was in California he would wear big boy underwear. Off to the airport we went, underwear on and a change of clothes in the bag just in case. He was fine the entire airplane ride and has been ever since.

Our second son pretty much potty trained himself. He was over it and wanted to go to school, so at just over two the diapers came off. He had a lot more accidents than his older brother, but nobody freaked out and it regulated itself in a reasonable amount of time.

We're working on our daughter right now. She turned two in January and has ZERO interest in sitting on the potty. Whatever... we'll get there (and so will you).

J., I know this may sound unusual but I have 5 boys and this is how potty trained 4 of them (5th boy is only 1 year old)I waited until it was really warm weather (and I never really seriously tried potty training until at least 3 years old) and I would put a pair of big boy undies (or no undies and a really long t-shirt) and let them loose outside all day long. when they had to go we just go outside (we do live in the country and have no really close neighbors) Then only used pull-ups if we went away and to sleep in. It doesn't take long for them to get the hang of it really, and after that its just a short leap to the big inside potty. Being patient is the key. I know this may sound like an unusal method but it really seemed to work for us.

J.: I have 13 year old triplets who were born at 27 weeks and had only slight delays. I just let them do it on their own and they potty trained themselves all at once at almost 4. I decided it just wasn't worth all of the aggravation to try to do it "to" them, so I let them do it when they wanted. I'm sure not everyone feels this way, or would agree with me, but this is what worked for us. Good Luck!! S.

I just potty trained my twins, boy and girl, 3 years old. My son still wets his pants sometimes.
YOu want to call me?
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A.

J.-

I have to agree with Carrie. I, too, only did it with one child, but the trick is to get rid of diapers for good. Be ready for accidents, but just put underwear on them and go for it. The trick is for them to stop the habit of just going when they have to go, which they do in diapers. When they have the underwear on, they will feel the wetness, which reminds them that they are going. When I trained my son, he had a couple of accidents, but then when he started to go (from habit) he was reminded by the wetness, told me that he had to go, and then finished in the toilet. We were trained by the end of day number 2. On the morning of day number 1, I told him how big of a boy he was and we actually threw the diapers in the trash (I later retrieved them w/o him seeing because they are so expensive!) but he never had one on his bottom again. At night, we left his underwear on, so as not to confuse him, but put a pull up on over his underwear to protect the sheets. It only took 3 nights for him to wake up dry in the morning. Be consistent with reminding them every 30-40 minutes to go and as time goes on, you can stretch that time out. You WILL have accidents, be prepared for that. You WILL take them to the bathroom and ten minutes later, they WILL have an accident, but it WILL happen. Don't be discouraged. Just don't turn back. Start it when you can stay in the house for a few days. When you go out on your first outing, leave the underwear on, but put a pull up on over the underwear -- don't confuse them. When you are out, ask them if they need to use the toilet, they will think that it's neat that they get to use the bathroom like mom and dad do. When my son trained, I was amazed at how easily it went. Good luck!

Hi J.,

You are not alone on this issue! I belong to a community group and most of us with boys, myself included, have a tough time with potty training. A few ladies had their 3 and 3-1/2 year old sons trained, and then the boys regressed. Some of the other boys, just don't care to learn and they don't care if they are wet or poopy. It takes a great deal of patience and time. When they are ready, they'll go--that's been our motto in my group. Someone once told me, how many kids do you know who enter kindergarten in diapers? Not many. That's positive reinforcement for you. However, I too would love to not have to buy diapers anymore. I've read alot of the responses you received and I'm gonna try some of the suggestions that I haven't tried yet.

Trying to achieve Potty Power,

MC

I only had one boy to do at one time...so I had it much easier....but...my son did the same types of things. So, one day I just put him in the underwear and said no more diapers (not completely as we still use them to go to bed) and after two days of wet clothes - but a jar of m-n-m's on the toilet, as well as a cup of cheerios to hit while he peed (he had to pee like dad standing up) and to sink when he pooped - we were completely potty trained. Don't get me wrong - we still have some accidents here and there - but very few and far between. Also, I bribed - he had a Lightning McQeen Lamp that he REALLY wanted - so after a week he go that and every day that he peed in the potty he got a Matchbox Car. Bribing and things in the toilet really helped. I also asked him about every 20 minutes if he had to go on the first day, and then increased it as the days went on. I hope this helps at least a little. If you want any more info/details let me know.
Good Luck!
C.

Dear J. W.,

When my kids were little a person in my LaLeche league group came up with a really good idea and perhaps you can find something nowadays that will work like that did. At that time, she emptied the toilet bowl and scrubbed it and let it dry. Then she put a decal of a honey bear and told the little boy to pee on the bear. Every time he would pee on the bear she would praise him really good and it got to be a game and he got really good at peeing on the bear and the aiming made the pee all stay in the toilet and not get all over the floor.

L. C., Zeeland, MI

J., I'm not really going to say anything that hasn't already been said, but here's what I went through.
First, we went for about a year of my husband peeing with the bathroom door open so that our son could watch and see how daddy did it. He showed interest, and would occasionally do it - but he hated the sound of the toilet flushing. So - we didn't flush for about 6 months until he was out of the bathroom.
Second, even though my daycare worked with us and were wonderful about trying to help with teh potty training, it took my hubby and I having a week off of work together (between xmas and new year) to really focus on it with him and get it done. And yes, bribary was involved. At this time, my son was 4 months away from being 4. We explained that (1) he couldn't go into the big kid preschool class at daycare if he still wore pull ups, and (2) that only kids who didn't wear pull ups were allowed to go to Chuck E Cheeses or Dave & Busters to play games and that if he went 5 days in his underpants with no accidents, he could go. Let me tell you - that child would SPRINT to the bathroom, because he wanted to go to play games over the holiday break.
Most everyone is right - you can't rush it, you'll have to determine what is best for your sons (and it may be completely different tactics for each!) and most importantly, they have to be ready.
Good luck, and hang in there!

I know there are videos out there for kids. What is boy scared off?? Can he say?? Talk to your pediatrician. Have dad show boys how to potty standing sometimes that works. put them in training diapers (easier to pull up and down) they are more uncomfortable for a child wet. One of the ways I knew when my kids were ready was when they were dry in AM after sleep and after naps. I found different kids were ready at different times, boys usually later than girls and harder to get in the swing of things. Don't bribe, don't be negative or punish for accidents( as a general rule) but be way over the top with praise and attention. Hope this helps some

I am a mom of 6 and grandma of Kasie, Justin, Nathan, Caitlin, Dennis, Austin, Brianna, Madison, Connor, Emilie,Kayla, Mavin and new one on the way.

J.,
it just isn't something to be rushed or forced. I can encourage you with my story. My middle son often wet his pants. He was just not developed adequately. When we wanted to put him in preschool they were not enthused as he wasn't potty trained yet. He wanted to go to school. So I used it as a goal. He had to use the potty if he wanted to go. If he was a big enough boy to go to school he was big enough to use the pot.
Hey it worked. He still had the occassional accident during preschool. Pull-Ups were something of a help. But the main drive had to be with him. During the school day when he was awake, no problem. It turned out to be during the night during those deep sleeps that became a problem. But short term.

I wanted to let you know that I know how you feel. I currently am working on my 3 1/2 year old too. I have read all the responses and have tried all of them starting at age 22 months. My son doesn't care if he gets his big boy underwear wet or poopy. If he is playing and needs to go, he will. My biggest frustration is that he doesn't tell me when he went. Just yesterday I asked him, he said no, and 10 minutes later he said he did (Yahhh I thought) but when I got him to the potty he was already wet from before. The pee on him was cool and had been there for at least 30 minutes!!! Soooo I have no suggestions for you except that I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this. My son is not scared of the potty but he just doesn't care. I can physically make him go every couple of hours and that keeps him dry BUT that is ME being trained NOT him... soooo once again I don't know what to tell you. God bless and I will add you to our "potty" prayer at night time.

I know this response is going to be very frustrating because it was for me. My 3 1/2 year old boy was resisting potty training and my friend who is a pre-school teacher told me to make it available, visible and discuss it, but to stop stressing and it would happen. I didn't believe her, tried all of the bribes, none of which worked. I laid off my son and BOOM, one month later we are only using Pampers for overnight-not even at nap time! Good Luck!!!!

My heart goes out to you! My son was 3 1/2 when he finally learned and I think I took it so personally, like a failure. He too was very smart in every other way. And with twins, I just can't even imagine. Maybe reverse psych.- act like you're just going to get rid of their little potties and stuff because no one is using them? Or completly the opposite, take away all diapers, except at night. If they have any cousins that are about the same age or older, get them to help. Everything is more fun in a group right? If they are not trained by summer, let them run naked outside and take a potty outside for poop! I know it seems like it will never happen, but it will soon. I let my daughter put a sticker on her little potty every time she went. I used to set the kitchen timer for every 30-60min and have the kids go, don't ask, tell them its time to go! Good Luck!!!!

Hang in there, J.. I know it's rough. My son was almost 4 when he potty trained, so I think I understand how you feel. We bought the potty chair when he was 2 because he seemed to be interested. Like you, it really didn't go anywhere for us.

The best thing you can do is not make it a power struggle. They will do it when they're ready. My pediatrician assured me that it's common for boys not to be potty-ready by this age.

My son was physically ready, but not quite there emotionally. We picked a week when I was off work and made it a fun thing. He got m&m's for peeing in the potty, and a matchbox car for pooping. At the end of the week we had a "Potty party" to celebrate his accomplishment. We included all his favorite things as well as a number of surprises. It went well, and was a fun time for both of us.

Waiting until he was really ready made it a breeze. I know every child is different, but I hear of lots of boys who potty train at 2-3 and have problems with accidents for a long time after they're in underwear. My son, thankfully, never has had an accident. I think that's because we waited until he could really do it.

Don't sweat it! Make it fun! I guarantee they'll get the hang of it sooner or later!

The only thing I can think of is that I used to be afraid of getting splashed with that dirty water when I was little. I just thought that it was the grossest thing. Maybe an admission of the fact that sometimes a splash can happen and an acceptable cleansing ritual afterwards. Just a guess.