Do You Think My Kids School Is Taking This to Far?

For me personally, I would use the separate knife. If my child's school went through the trouble of notifying me of something like this, that means that the allergic child's parents went through the trouble of notifying THEM of the risk. Imagine the anxiety they must feel. It does sound extreme, but it's not that much of an inconvenience to me to use a special knife if it saves a child the trauma of an allergic reaction or even if it just means more peace of mind for his/her parents.

My daughter often ate a peanut butter granola bar for breakfast while walking to the bus stop. I never got word from the school that she had sent a kid to the hospital by exhaling near him/her.

I get it, but I don't like it. I think it would be more effective to teach the child how to cope with what may very well be a lifetime allergy. The real world is far less controlled & kids need to be prepared for that.

Sorry, but that sounds insane to me. There's a kid at my daughters' school who is so allergic to peanuts that she has her own service dog. The dog sniffs out peanuts and alerts her, and she just makes sure to stay away from wherever the peanuts are. We are still allowed to pack peanut butter sandwiches. This severely allergic child has never had a reaction at school, taking reasonable precautions (such as not sitting next to someone who's eating peanut butter). Her parents' take on it is that everywhere this child goes in life, whether it's to a restaurant, movie theater, swim meet, etc, there could be peanuts, or someone who has recently eaten them. So they have given her the tools she needs to avoid an allergic reaction. And if she does have a reaction, they've worked with her teachers, coaches, etc to let them know what to do. That seems more reasonable to me than trying to control the kitchens of hundreds of other families. As much as you'd want to make the whole world safe for your child, with a severe allergy, there's just no way. Makes more sense to me to go to plan B - educate others as best you can, and arm your child with the best defense possible for themselves.

I guess what I find so odd about the peanut thing is that other allergies are not treated the same way. For instance, I'm severely allergic to bee stings. Yet I'd never dream of asking the school to get rid of their flower garden. I just carry my epi-pen and try to take reasonable precautions not to be stung. People with allergies have to live in the big, wide world, and realize that everyone else isn't going to change their whole lives for us.

ETA: Bug, with all due respect, my allergy is pretty much the same as yours. Anywhere a bee can fly, I can die within minutes. How is that any different than anywhere a peanut has been, you can die within minutes?? Same thing. Bad allergy. Unless we live in a bubble, we're going to be exposed to our allergen at some point.

I'm sorry... but if your kid is THAT severely allergic to anything... then they shouldn't be going to public school.

I'm all for making reasonable allowances, but this is taking it over the top.

The schools don't have the right to dictate what you do in your own home.

Does it suck for the kid with the allergies? Yes... but life isn't fair.

If they were requiring you to do this, yes...that's insane. However you said cutting the sandwich was an EXAMPLE. That means, they are just saying, keep that in mind. Unless they are asking you to sign a consent form that you won't do these things, or making it a school requirement, they aren't requiring you to do anything. Did they actually say, do NOT do this? Or, did they try to educate about the risks. It seems like you are taking a newsletter and it's SUGGESTIONS, as requirements.

I have a severe and deadly allergy to peanuts. I am completely against schools telling people what to do in there homes. However, sending a newsletter with cross-contamination suggestions, is no big deal. You can choose to do those things, or ignore it. The ASK for no peanuts butter products at breakfast, not REQUIRE. This is a CHOICE you still get.

If your kids do eat peanut butter at breakfast, it would be nice to have them wash their hands and face. That does help people with allergies. Beyond that, it's just what kids should do after eating. (I am saying that in general, not just about your kids.)

YOU are taking a school newsletter literally.

Oh, and I'd like to point out, a person's bee allergy does effect THAT person WITH the allergy. Someone with a peanut allergy can be affected by everything around them. Comparing an independent allergy, to an allergy that can be triggered by touching something from another student...is beyond apples to oranges. You can avoid bees and bring your pen. You can't avoid touching everything in the school. That's why many schools find it easier to be peanut free. However, I agree that all the other stuff is nonsense. A school can't regulate a home. Which is why I really think these were suggestions and not requirements, in the newsletter.

Catherine: Will you have a reaction if ANOTHER person gets stung by a bee? Is that even possible? No? A child with a peanut allergy can have a deadly reaction from a child wiping their hands on the desk, pencil, table, play ground equipment, etc...with peanut products. YOU can't die from someone ELSE getting stung by a bee. Many kids can die from someone ELSE having peanuts. See the difference? People don't being bees to school and leave stingers everywhere, not do they? The same can't be said for people eating peanut products. NOW do you see the huge difference?

I have a peanut allergic child and I am well versed in the federal and state civil rights laws that relate to disability discrimination. I don't know about Canada, but here they can't dictate how a parent prepares food or what is feed to their children at their own home. The schools can ask the students to clean their hands before classes start and after lunch, and the school MUST keep the student's allergens out of the classroom and learning environments (but not the cafeteria) to avoid discriminatory segregation. But the learning environment obviously does not extend to other students' homes. What your school is asking is going overboard and then some....

It is the responsibility of the allergic child's parents to monitor and protect their own child..not police and dictate EVERY OTHER family in the school. Totally ridiculous! A very close friend of mine has a son who is allergic to nuts and SHE makes sure he is educated and knowledgeable before he enters school. SHE has enrolled him in a private school to limit the number of students and lessen the impact of new students who are not aware of his allergy (the student turnover rate at this school is very low). SHE hand delivers peanut free halloween treats to her neighbors every year for her son, so he has a happy halloween trick or treat experience. I can only imagine the next step in your area is to ask all families to buy peanut free treats to hand out! GEEZ!

I do sincerely sympathize with those who have to protect themselves from these allergens, but they won't have "safe" schools to protect them their entire lives, better to learn how to look out for themselves while they are learning to add and multiply.

Yes, I would not even entertain this nonsense. I fully get that they have to regulate what comes into the school. However, they have absolutely no right to start making demands on what I do in my home. I don't understand why using a knife that has been run through a dishwasher in scalding hot water would still have peanut residue on it. As for breakfast, there is no way that the school would tell me what I could or not serve for breakfast in my own home. I am fine with having them wash their hands and brush their teeth afterwards, but peanut butter IS part of a healthy diet.

My daughter is very small and has even be referred to a nutrionist for not gaining enough weight. I have been told to give her peanut butter since she loves it and will eat it and it is high in calories and protein.

Bottom line...I think that you should take reasonable precautions to not spread peanut residue in school, but I don't think it is reasonable for the school to try to regulate your peanut consumption in your own home.

Peanut allergies seem to be more prevalent and why that is the case is a can of worms that I don't even want to open.
That said, my kids are 25 and 17 and they have managed to make it through school without what I can only say is becoming peanut paranoia.
I am NOT SAYING that peanut allergies aren't real, very dangerous and possibly even deadly for some people. It's a serious concern, to be sure.
However, if my children don't have food allergies, I don't see why I have to live, in my own home, as a germophobe or with a peanut phobia because loving peanut butter on pancakes, sandwiches, celery, or making peanut butter cookies has the potential to harm someone else.
I'm sorry, but this makes no sense to me.
What I feed my children at home or what utensils I use at home is no one's business.
I think of all the years my daughter loved having peanut butter cinnamon toast in the morning. Apparently, these days, she would have to be told she can't have it because it MIGHT make someone else sick at school.

I'm all for the safety of all children, but I don't think that what a child can or can't eat should be dictated by a school or other parents based on their own child's needs.

Like I said, I am very fortunate in that there are no food allergies in my family at all and I am not unsympathetic to people who have to deal with it. I have a very good friend whose daughter has food allergies, not peanuts, thank goodness, because they eat peanut products all the time.

I'm just saying that you can't expect the rest of the world to bend to fit your needs and frankly, if my child had such a serious and life threatening allergy, I would reconsider who I expose my child to to keep them safe as opposed to expecting others to take responsibility for it.

Just my opinion and no offense to anyone.

That is totally insane!!!!

My son has a peanut allergy. I monitor him, his sister monitors him, and I don't mind other kids eating peanut butter and jelly around him. We watch things carefully, and I think expecting other people to have separate utensils at home for their peanut butter is totally insane.

My son is only 2.5 and he will ask you "can I eat this." If he can do this, than school aged kids with allergies can be responsible enough to not eat food other kids bring, nor to kiss them or touch them in ways where they might pick up an allergen. An air born allergy is very rare, so I doubt there is a kid in your school with this.

I would take this as a way to raise awareness. I would not take this as 'rules' you must follow. Or even a guideline really. A school district cannot dictate what a child eats at home, or how you handle your own utensils in your own kitchen.

A Just So You Know kinda thing.

Just Food For Thought, you know?

:)

It sounds like a child has transferred into the school with a very severe peanut allergy, and the school is trying to minimize cross contamination without the poor family getting crosses burned on their lawn.

Wow! I totally believe in taking procautions to make sure every child has a safe learning environment but the knife thing is pretty ridiculous. I honestly won't be surprised when they tell us that our kids can no longer bring lunches from home.

Yeah I think that is a little over the top! Do they even have documentation that using the knife could cause cross contamination especially with a food item that no other child should consume?

Just curious how they are going to enforce this.

Lol this can't be serious. A school can't take it that far.

I have an issue with this. Seems to me that if your child is THAT allergic to peanuts then perhaps it is best that they homeschool. When you start infringing on what I fix for my kids that is when enough is enough.

I am all for helping but this is way over the line.

Sounds like a super paranoid mom has gotten to the administration and this is how they are placating her.
We have a peanut free table in our kids' lunchroom. Only two kids sit there, and neither of the parents has requested anything else. The school has about 350 students and it is NOT nut free.
I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like the nut police are going to come to your home and test for allergens, lol!

I have heard about people being so allergic that a kiss killed them (kisser had eaten peanuts earlier). But I would be really annoyed, frankly, if the school was now telling me what to serve my kids and how in my own home. I'd be less annoyed if they said there was a serious allergy in the student body so please refrain from serving peanuts at breakfast, but the knife is too much IMO. If my kid was more seriously allergic to apples than she is then it would be my job to weigh her environment and what I could do for her. Not make everyone else do for me. If the allergy was so severe that washing a utensil was not adequate, then I'd have bigger fish to fry. Presumably that child would not share that sandwich with the allergic child so why the extreme measure?

It seems to me if you have a peanut free table in the lunch room, (easy to do) then you have no risk of a child with an allergy touching a sandwich that has been cut by a knife used on peanut butter. And it makes sense to ask children who have peanut butter for breakfast or lunch to make sure they wash their hands and face afterwards. It sounds like your kids school is probably being pushed by some parents. Have there been incidents in the school that would warrant this??

Yes. They can't tell families what to do with their kitchens.

I can see the school making the request for no morning peanut products but the knife thing is a bit strange. I haven't seen any recent studies about that situation so I would ask that the school provide you with the research that supports their position. I would also check with your country's center for disease control and see what they say. Good Luck

A couple of thoughts on this:
The aggressive responses are disconcerting. There is a HUGE difference between the school regulating what you do at home and asking for compliance. They have every right to ask you to comply. And there is also a huge difference between a watermelon allergy and a peanut allergy -- one might give you a rash, the other could make you die.
Also, everyone saying the kid could be home schooled, that is, in fact, probably what I would do. But when you're talking about rights being taken away, it's the difference of your child's right to enjoy a peanut butter sandwich every day vs. an allergic child's right to receive a proper education -- only one of those rights is protected by law. Guess which one.

Regarding the knife thing -- my sister, who is in her 50s, has celiac and asks us to use separate utensils for things that touch bread, separate jars of mayo or peanut butter, etc., for when she visits. My other sister and I thought it was ridiculous, but I comply because she has had terrible reactions to gluten just through that kind of cross contamination. She won't die from it, but she will be sick for days.

Personally, I would try to comply if my child was in that class -- whether everyone agrees or disagrees with the family's demands, I'd hate to be the one to prove them right. If that were my child, I probably would pull them from the school, just because I wouldn't trust everyone to help me out (which is obvious from these responses). But most of all, I find it completely ridiculous how up in arms everyone gets over their "right" to give their kid "peanut butter sandwiches." I see this kind of reaction every time the news reports that some town is banning happy meals or vending machines from the school. People even protested when Cookie Monster suggested carrots were a better daily snack than cookies. Yes, you have a right to do those things, but when someone asks you to help them out, why do you act like you've been deeply violated? It's a sandwich.

Yes, this seems extreme to me! But, I'll bet if my child had a deadly peanut allergy I wouldn't think it was extreme. I can't imagine how scary it would be and I'd probably want every precaution possible in place.

That sounds insane.

I respect that some children have these allergies and I don't take peanut products to school for my snack when I teach.

We do have a specific nut free table for those who need it.

NO SCHOOL or anyone else for that matter, will tell me what to do in MY home.

I am sorry some children and adults have sever allergies and I would never knowingly subject anyone to an allergen but this is the real world and people with allergies have to learn to adjust and take precautions. if not, then maybe they need to go find a bubble to live in.

@ Catherine C... I am with you all the way on your response. I personally believe the peanut thing is blown way out of proportion in comparasion to many other potentially deadly allergies.

I agree 100% with Gramma G!
Added: in The case of it being life or death I would find a way to homeschool, maybe take a night job...

I have never heard of this at my kids' school, which is "nut free."
They send home an information sheet to the parents about nut allergies and the school is nut free... but they have not made "rules" about it, per IN home use of kitchen utensils or prepping of foods.

I do empathize with allergies and per kids... but at the same time, a school cannot control everything that a person or family does at HOME. Outside of school.
I probably guess, that it is because schools do not want to be "liable" for anything that happens to a child should they have a reaction to any food... while at school.
And at the same time, parents of kids who are allergic to certain things, do know that aside from school.... there is a risk of being exposed to the allergic triggers, anywhere.... and at anytime... besides only at school.

If schools require this... then what about Restaurants? Or other places in the general public? This affects adults too, not only kids.

Also, there is no rule that ALL schools have to do this.

It is about liability.

I know of children who have died while at school due to the negligence of the school. My children go to a nut-free school. No biggie for me. It's no biggie for me not to give the kids peanut butter in the morning either. I'm happy to do it if it means a child won't die.

I also abhor the thought of a nut-free table at schools. Way to isolate certain children.

IMO the school has no right to tell me how to prepare food in my home. They also have no right to tell me what I can and can not give my child for breakfast.

that seems a little extreme to me. My kids public school is NOT a peanut free school. I wouldn't mind if they were to protect other kids, but they shouldn't be telling me what I can and can't do in my own home. We do have food allergies in our family. Thankfully they are not life threatening, but I do have to let people know when my daughter goes to her friends house. She has an egg allergy and will break out in hives ALL over her. It's not severe, but we do let people know. But if someone wants to eat eggs, I'm not going to say they can't. My daughter knows her allergies and is very good at avoiding it.
Sorry your school is so strict. I would just do what ever you wanted at home.

I'm sure that in the US, this would not be a legally acceptable requirement by any school. They can't enforce it anyway.

I would say that if your child brushes his or her teeth after breakfast if having any peanut stuff for breakfast, that's good enough. Do you have a dishwasher? Do your knives go in the dishwasher? If they do, that is certainly good enough...

I agree that if a parent is THAT worried about their kid's allergies, they should probably homeschool.

Dawn

I appreciate allergies that are that severe. I'm fine with taking reasonable precautions and when the school asks me to, I do it.

However, the knife thing and "don't eat peanut products for breakfast thing" are going to extremes. I understand it, but it's extreme. The children eating peanuts should brush teeth thoroughly afterwards, and knives and other utensils can be washed properly. This is clearly a request (obviously not a rule, but a REQUEST for compliance)and not a demand, but it's assuming that people/children don't reasonably know how to brush their teeth and wash their utensils and dishes. It's asking children who don't have the allergy to go to extreme measures or go without in their homes to accommodate.

Of course, it's also indicative of a very, very severe allergy. In which case if even a particle or a hint of a peanut fume passed by the child, they could get anaphylactic shock. If that's the case, then the child would probably qualify for a service dog that can help with this type of allergy.

The burden of avoiding certain allergens when the allergy is THAT severe then lies on the parents. I don't think that means they have to homeschool.

I say this as someone with a serious peanut allergy and other food allergies and as a parent of a child with food intolerances, insensitivities, and allergies.

http://www.angelservicedogs.com

I have a peanut allergic child. I appreciate the school going through the trouble of making the school safe for peanut allergic children but I do not think you need to have a separate knife set as long as you wash your utensils. As a parent of a preschooler where kids are putting things in their mouths it would be much safer if other kids didn't eat peanuts before school but would not matter if the children were older. For those people that think kids with peanut allergies should be home schooled.....that is completely unrealistic when parents have full time jobs to be able to afford food and shelter for their families. I take full precautions for my son. I carry epipens and benedryl with us EVERYWHERE. We have been very lucky that in the past five years we have not had any issues however last week we were at a swim lesson and my son broke out in hives all over his body screaming and yelling from going down a swim apparatus on his belly. Someone wearing lotion with nut oils must have gone down the slide before him. So here I am trying to make sure my son is water safe and doesn't drown in our pool and he runs the risk of an allergic reaction instead. People don't have to get crazy with the peanut allergies but they have to take proper realistic precautions.

Hi! My son went to Cub Scouts with a boy with all kinds of allergies. One time a restaurant cut a sandwich with cheese and then cut Lad's sandwich and the reaction sent him to the hospital so I totally understand. But honestly, if my child's allergies were as severe as the school's letter suggests I don't even think I would be able to take him out of the house. What about all the other people in the world he comes in contact with? I totally don't get the suggestion that yesterday's cleaned knife could cause harm today. Working to include Lad in snacks and on trips was always taken as a serious task. We always double checked with his mom about what was being prepped and were very careful about cross contamination but she never suggested special utensils were needed or that the ones we had had to be treated in a special way. I would love to hear from parents of kids with allergies to see what they say, I certainly haven't encountered this.

My kids go to a nut free school. I buy soy nut butter in the organic foods section. Costs a bout $2 more a jar (big deal, we pay more than that for a cup of coffee, right?) and it gives me peace of mind that my kids won't be hurting someone else and they can still experience the "joys of peanut butter" that up until now I did not realize was a right of passage! LOL! It's really not a tremendous infringement on our lives.

.

I'd have to see what kind of notification you were given, a newsletter? A note sent home in the mail from the principal? An announcement at a school board meeting? A note from the teacher? What Bug said is right on, read her post again.

Sunbutter (sunflower) and almond butter are more nutritious and taste better than peanut butter. You just have to be sure they are made in peanut-free facilities.
http://www.sunbutter.com/
http://www.barneybutter.com/
http://wwwhttp://www.peanutfreeplanet.com/Peanut_Butter_A...
Our school had sunbutter available for purchase in the school office. They are also available at local supermarkets.
Easier than having a special knife. But as for a special knife, that wouldn't be too hard. I see special knives sold for mayonnaise, watermelon, butter, and I imagine there are special knives for other things too. Protecting a child from dying by using a special knife is easy. If you must, have two knives so that if one is in the wash, you have another available. Easy.

I think they are taking it too far. I completely understand having a severe allergy. I have tons myself. But you can't protect yourself against everything. They should be more focused on prevention with the child who has the allergy and treatment if they are exposed. It is one thing to educate and ask people to do what they can, but this is going too far.

Our school has asked us not to send any nuts, seeds, milk products, berries, cantaloup, wheat products....
Both of my daughters love all of these. The school suggested "meat sandwiches". Not healthy and my girls won't eat them. Seems crazy to take it to this extreme. Not sure of an answer, but hard to pack a lunch these days.

But your profile says you are from Cape Neddick, ME. I just noticed it because I love Cape Neddick...I always go through there on my way to Portland or Kennebunk :)

Yes, I think that is taking it a bit too far. My son has a peanut allergy and I would never expect other parents to make it their top priority to ensure his safety. If his allergy were that bad, I'd keep him home and homeschool him. His safety would be my #1 priority.

My son is serious allergic to peanuts.... However, the "special knife" thing and the attempt to ban families from eating peanuts/PB at home is too far, imo.

Washing any item that has touched an allergen in hot soapy water (as in, washing the dishes!), would remove/destroy the allergen.

I'm not sure what the privacy laws are in Canada, but I would check into those. Because this seems invasive. Especially in light of the fact that I know families who have a child w/ severe peanut allergies who allow other children in their own home to eat it (safely, with proper clean up afterward and no sharing food, utensils, work surfaces unless they have been cleaned).

That is taking it to far, I to live in Canada & my daughter will be attending a nut free school. She is allergic to peanuts & it quite aware. She tells people that she can't have any but making others not be able to eat what they want at home is totally unreasonable. I don't even not eat peanut butter at my house. I do wash the knife in super hot water but if I her mother won't stop you can't ask an entire other population of others to stop for a few kids. If its that much of a concern maybe the kids should attend another school. I would recommend a new peanut spread alternative to you that I found but its only sold in the states. When I come home I stock up & bring it back. If you ever go back home to the states its called biscoff spread & its delicious. It tastes like cinnamon graham crackers & to me its much better than peanut butter.

Knife thing to too much, once washed does not pose a threat. Breakfast peanut butter is fine if they wash up afterwards. My daughter loves it and it's a good start to the day for her. On non-school days she may still have remnants on her face which could be problematic for kids with serious allergies.

I understand your frustration, and that it feels invasive.

I have seen the other side - a friend's daughter had severe anaphylaxis from peanuts, and he could not sit on an airplane next to anyone who ate the bag of free peanuts. The "dust" from the peanuts could get on his shirt or skin, and then when he came home and hugged his daughter, she would react. They could not go to any restaurants because some peanut products might have been used there (e.g. peanut oil for cooking, things made in places that also made peanuts). They had a sink installed in their foyer, and people had to wash when they came in. They were not being overly protective - this was recommended by their child's allergist. It took 2 years of nutritional support to get her numbers down to zero - they still don't feed her peanut products but at least she can go to school, birthday parties, out to restaurants, they can travel, etc.

Another friend had a child with 60 food allergies - the "usuals" you would expect, but also many fruits (cantaloupe, pineapple), lunch meats (there goes that argument about meat sandwiches), and so on. It was miserable until they found a dietary answer to relieve all those issues.

As much of a hassle as this is for you, imagine the terror and misery on their side of it. And as someone else said, I know I would feel horrible if something I did caused a problem.

I have a friend who is a kindergarten teacher - you would not believe what's going on in our schools today. Allergies to peanuts (legumes), tree nut (almond, walnut etc.), dairy, soy, and more. She has 5 year olds with diabetes, ulcerative colitis, bi-polar disorder and many life-threatening allergies. She's not allowed to approach the parents about any nutritional therapies because that's "crossing the line."

We need better solutions and better alternative therapies, and better publicity about the things that DO work. I'm always happy to help people, as are the parents I've mentioned - but really, how can I reach them?

Meantime, what do you suggest that the parents of that child do, short of asking for everyone's cooperation. What would YOU do if it were your child?