Deployment - Killeen,TX

When my cousin's son was in Iraq, he used a mini cam for his computer which allowed them to see each other when they talked by computer. (I may not have all of the terminology correct) Do you have the capability to do this?

I just saw this message and thought of one other thing. Without knowing much about your son, would he be the type to want to keep a journal (with your help as needed). This would be a way for him to express himself in a safe way - if you agree not to judge him, you might be able to learn a lot about how he's doing with the day to day and whether there is anything you can do to help - and a way to document dad's time away. You could copy/scan certain pages to send to your husband or save the whole journal for when he returns - what a great welcome home present to him! If he's not into that, maybe ask him about putting together a memory box - all the stuff he wants to keep in a special place to share with his dad when he comes home, e.g. ticket stubs, special school papers, dirt from the ballfield, or whatever is meaningful to him...

Of course, either of these ideas could be modified for the little ones or be kept as a special thing between eldest and daddy...

And a big thank you to your husband, as well as to you and your family, for the huge sacrifice that you're making for all of us :)

I would tell the kids now. Don't tell them anything that will scare them, just say something like "Daddy has to go do his job in a far away place for awhile". We told our kids that soldiers have to take turns doing their job far away to help protect us here at home, and when his job was done then he could come home again. We did lots of family things in the weeks before he left...going to the park, picnic at the lake, mini golf, etc. I took lots of pics so they could look at those and remember having fun with him before he left. I also recorded my hubby reading to them so that they could have daddy read a story while he was gone. Next time, I will have him read a whole bunch of different books, because we only recorded 2 and we listened to those same 2 stories every night for a month =) I also let my kids watch the Sesame Street deployment video, that helped spark questions my older daughter had (she was 5 at the time). When he left, we made a paper chain so they could take a link off each night. It really helped them to see how fast time was going by. While he was gone, we sent 1-2 boxes a month and I let the kids pick out at least half the stuff that went in them. They drew pictures, made cards, picked out snacks from Dollar Tree, etc. When it was around a holiday, we would do a themed box, like all Christmas candy, decorations, pictures, etc. They really enjoyed sending him stuff and it was a great way for them to stay connected. You might look into buying your kids a Daddy Doll also, I think I will do that for mine next time around. Most of all, encourage them to talk about their feelings and don't get upset if they say they are mad at daddy for leaving or scared or just don't want to talk to him at all. And share with them how you're feeling, too (maybe not ALL of how you're feeling LOL, but just that you are sad, too, and wish he didn't have to go). Good luck, I know how tough it can be

I realize the chain could be a bit overwhelming... but a friend did something similar for her husband's six month deployment. They put red, white and blue stars (probably about 4-5 inches across from point to point) on the hallway wall, one for each day he'd be gone. Then, every night before bed, they'd take one star down, date it and write about something they did that day, or a message to their dad, etc. They'd collect the stars and send a stack to their daddy every couple of weeks. Of course, he kept them and it's quite the memento for them all. Just a thought. Blessings on your family and prayers for your husband's safe return.

you need to prepare him SOON. so he has time to adjust to the idea. I've done several deployments and if you wait it will be much worse. You will be dealing with a VERY angry boy if you don't prepare him soon.
One thing we did with our kids is make a paper chain . one link for each day he will be gone and have the kids take one off per day reducing the number of links in the chain and when it starts getting shorter , daddy coming back is more of a reality than you just telling them. and if his return date gets pushed back you can add more links in the middle of the night.
You can make the kids a photo album each with their own pictures of them with daddy , pictures of all of you together. Answer any and all questions honestly.

My husband has a job where he is gone about 2/3rds of the time and we have 4 kids ranging from 12 to 10 months old. We talk about him all the time he is gone. We spend as much time as we can when he is here. All the kids have face book accounts and they talk on facebook, he cannot do the streaming video on the ship so we can't use a web cam, but he posts pics and we do too. We all email eachother each day to update and we all just keep as busy as we possibly can.

The thing that helps me most is to have specific goals that I want to accomplish with the extra time that having him gone gives me and we all work to finish those before he comes back, that way there is a reason we want him gone longer so that we can get these surprises done for him.

No matter what it will be difficult, but you may be surprised how fast it all goes as well. We always tell them when he is leaving, but sometimes he surprises them when he comes back.

I'm the daughter of a deployed Airman, he was deployed to Viet Nam for a year, when I was about 5 years old. I remember the day he left, as if it were yesterday, I thought if I hid, and they couldn't find me, he wouldn't leave..... well he found me, hiding in my closet, he crawled in my closet with me, I don't remember the words he said, but I remember how it felt to be wrapped in his arms, sitting in the floor of my closet. I remember searching every Bob Hope USO show on TV for a glimpse of my Daddy; I know all of you are thinking of this from a Mom's point of view, how to "do" something to help, just thought a childs perspective might be useful. I desperately needed to be connected to him in any small way, as he was my protector, my defender, my Daddy. Nothing could really make it right, 'til he was home again.

Fast forward 40 years, for our grandchildren, of a deployed soldier Dad today; there is definitely the webcam on the computer, I know its expensive to have computers, but it never ceases to amaze me that my grandson, born just weeks before his Daddy was deployed for a year, and he will turn 3 in the middle of the 2nd year long deployement since he was born, "knows" his Daddy, because he sees him almost daily, via webcam. I know thats not possible for all families, but if it is, use it as often as possible.

Before he left the first time, he took his family to the Build a Bear shop, where the nearly 5 year old daughter picked out Bear, then he took her in to the little room where you record a message, held her in his lap and recorded a message about how much he loved her and would be seeing her soon, he made a similar recording for all 3 of them, the kids and Mom. It was amazing to see how just playing that message to the baby when he was upset, would cause him to calm down and be quiet so he could hear his Daddy's voice.

Deployments are so hard on families and my heart and prayers go out to the soldiers and thier families as you courageously endure these times to promote and protect freedom for the world we live in. I've always said civilians just can't comprehend the hardship, heartache, pride and joy experienced by the dependents of someone who serves our Country in the military.

God Bless

Has your hubby started workups yet? And are there obvious signs of deployment in the house, his bags, gear, etc.?
We told ours when we found out, but I live near a base and the questoin wasnt' if but when. Put a big D on the calendar and tell him soon, show him the day and say it is this many Saturdays away, or this many days after so and so's birthday.
You can go to hugahero.com. THey have daddy dolls. We have 3 of them. Have daddy get dressed in his uniform and take a picture with a white or plain background. They do a pillow with his picture on it and you can order a voice recorder so he can leave a message. That goes in the back pocket of the pillow. We gave ours the dolls the day he got on the bus.
Talking picture frames that go off when the light turns out. So he can say "Goodnight PHilip, I love you and will miss you every day while I am gone but I will be back soon." That is what my son's says.
Barnes and Noble has many children's books on deployments.
How long is the deployment? If it is 6-7 months you can make a paper chain for the days he will be gone. I start mine at 100 days left, we have a little song 100 Days of Deployment Left Over, sung to tune of 99 bottles of beer on the wall.
Get a world map or atlas to show him where Daddy will be.
Go on a little mini vacation to Grandma's house or somewhere.
On the calendar, mark his return month, not the day because the military will say one day then send him home whenver they want to. Our return date has always changed.
The guys can mail letters and small cd's free of charge from over there. On some of the bases the chaplain has children's books for the daddies to read and send back to the children. We have story time with ddaddy with these little tapes. ON that note, he can also tape himself reading stories to them for bedtime before he leaves.
It is OK for the children to regress and do things they havent done in a long time. Wetting the bed, sleeping with you, nightmares, pacifiers, tantrums.
The more you stress how awful it is that daddy is leaving the more they will be unmanageable. Tell them that Daddy is going to work. he is protecting our country and those people in Afghanistan. I dont' tell the kids he will be shot at but they know he carries a rifle everywhere he goes there and they also have seen his flakjacket, et al.
Ice cream and cake are OK to eat for dinner as are waffles and pancakes, just not everday. I also make things daddy doesnt' like. We eat lots of Mexican while he is gone.
For hubby when he is abotu half way through, get some newsprint in a big roll and trace the kids then have them send the body pics to him. He will see how big the kids are getting.
If you can fiure out how to make a dvd take home movies adn send him those. My hubby was on a ship in 98 and 2000 and we sent him all sorts of VHS tapes. I even taped timeouts and fights. The guys who had families would come into his room after he got his tapes for "family time".

My son is 9, my girls are 12 and 15. we did three deployments in the last four years and now hubby is retired and living in VA while we live here in NC. I call it the deployment deployment. At least his uniform has tie and not a gun these days. My 9 year old has had a hard time with all these absences. But we have become very close and he is somewhat of a momma's boy.

I have an idea of something that can help while Daddy is gone. Maybe you could ask him to think of scavenger hunt ideas to give to your son each day. He could have your boy looking for all sorts of things while he's gone, and then when they do Skype or write, they'll have new things to talk about that are just especially between them. Here are some ideas...
-Find a stone with gold speck in it, then attach a sticker on it that contains the date and where it was found.
-Look for one whole leaf that has no bug holes or frayed edges. Attach a sticker on it to tell what kind it is, where it was found, and the date.
-Find one cereal box puzzle, or Happy Meal puzzle that you cut out and save to do together when Daddy gets home. Date it.

Put your minds together, Mom and Dad. You'll think of lots of stuff.

I've never been in this situation for an extended period, but what we did was record me reading one of my daughter's favorite books. That way when I was gone, I could still be there to "read" to her at night. Your husband could record several different books.

I also wanted to take a moment to thank you, your husband, and your children for his service to our country and for your sacrifice of his time and presence. It is a great thing that you do for all us to live in this great country.

Thank you and God Bless You

:)

I'm so happy to see so many military families here!

My husband just got back from a deployment in February. Now he's in another state going to school - until the end of August .. then in mid-September, he's going on shore duty in Italy for 2 YEARS!! He's got to go unaccompanied because work is so unstable right now - we can't risk me losing my income. Sometimes, it feels like we've spent more time apart than together, but with that being said .. it makes the time together that much more special.

My son is 13 and he deals well with the away time - now :)

I just wanted to chime in and tell all you military mama's what a great job you're all doing in such a hard situation. We DO have the toughest job in the NAVY/ ARMY/ Air Force/ Marines and we do a darn good job at it!!

~W.

My family always talks about the deployment from when we have a date (or atleast close approximate) set in stone. Sometimes it is months, sometimes not. My kids are 4,6 & 11. The middle one is closest with her daddy and takes it hardest but gets through it. We talked about daddy leaving alot. Where he was going, why, how long, what he would miss,etc so there was no surprises and the kids were used to the idea before it happened. If he is a worrier then he will worry no matter how long or short you will give him. I feel the more time they have to prepare the better personally. The kids each got to pick an activity for just them and dad before he left. They would talk about that to each other and me when missing him alot. Mom and siblings were not allowed to come. And ofcourse we did some fun special things as a family too. The kids packed little surprises for dad into his bag when he didn't know it and he left hidden surprises at home too.
We didn't do daddy dolls. But my girls each have a favorite stuffed animal that dad gave them then he put alot of his favorite cologne on before leaving and hugged it for along time. Infront of the girls. The smell soaked in. He left a bottle at home so I could re apply when it started to fade. That helped!
Also my kids would pick a star and descibe it to dad on the phone he would then "find it" being 16 hours away meant he saw the star during the daytime here so the kids would connect that way. Alittle silly but is worked for the littlest especially.
We used skype (email was super slow!) and we also used myspace to post pictures so that dad could see what we were doing all summer. He even got to see the video of jumping off diving board and swimming in the deep end for the first time through myspace.
If I think of other things I will send you a personal message

I have a friend whose husband just deployed and they got a Cuddletunes Bear for their son (www.cuddletunes.com). Cuddletunes Bears have mp3 players inside and are different from Build A Bear because you can update the soundtrack as often as you want! You can record messages through their website, www.cuddletunes.com from anywhere which can be uploaded onto the bear with a USB connection! Dads can record new messages as often as they like and kids can hear them anytime.

Get out of the house!!! Go out and do stuff with another friend who is able to especially on the weekends, when everyone else is with their families. I searched out as many things to do and found someone to go along. I do have a friend who did the Daddy Dolls. Her kids didn't really play to much with them, and we did the Build a Bear before our first deployment. We just finished another deployment, and boy am I glad!!!

Yes, the Daddy dolls are helpful. My grand daugther carries her's around. When people see her Daddy doll they usually tell her how special her Daddy is for serving our country and how important his job is. It seems to make her proud.

Hello. My cousin got her 3 children Daddy Dolls (in his uniform), they were 7, 4, and a few days old when he deployed. The 4 year old boy carried his everywhere; they love them. I think they are a great idea. They are always close by in photos, so Daddy is close to them. I would prepare the children soon, so they can think of special things to do with Daddy before he goes, they're a part of this process too. Know that there will be times when the children are upset he's gone and times they won't let you pee by yourself (seperation anxiety). It will be an adjustment, and best of luck to you. Thank your husband for his great service too.

lots of pictures, dvd's of everyday things. letters. have an address that he can write to.

my husband deployed for a year in nov 2008-nov 2009. the daddy doll saved me. my daughter still sleeps with him. she worships her daddy. it looks as if we are going to face another deployment late next spring, again he will be gone for a year. she will be shy of turning 5 when he leaves. the daddy doll is very durable and can hold a voice box if you wish. i did not get that for her, instead, i put some pics of her and her daddy in the back. i also made a little photo album for her so she could take it to school and keep it under her pillow if she wanted. just make sure you have extra pics incase it gets lost! i hope all goes well, i wish you and your family the best. god bless your husband, may he come home safely.

Make a story time video w/ daddy reading all the kids favorite books! I did this for my kids to help them feel like they were spending time w/ relatives that lived far away. It was my daughter's favorite video to watch! Your kids could have daddy reading a bed time story every night while he is away just by putting in the DVD.

Also, have daddy fill a zip lock bag w/ kisses. Everytime they need a kiss from daddy, they just open it and take one out.

check around and see if your state has Operation: Military Kids or Speak Out for Military Kids. Iowa started it about 7 years ago or so, along with a few other states. It's a partnership between 4-H and the military to help kids connect with other military kids in their area so they have someone to talk to. We also did Operation: Purple Camp, but I'm not sure if that was just an Iowa thing or if that was in all the states. We spent a week at the local 4-H camp with other kids. the only requirements were the kids had to be 16 or younger, and had to have a parent that was either deployed, recently returned from being deployed, or about to be deployed. it helped me a lot to hear other kids talk about their experiences, and to know that I could help out other kids who didn't know what to expect. my dad was deployed while i was at camp, so i gained a lot from the experience and made a lot of friends that i still talk to 7 years later. I think the youngest age group we had there was 4 or 5 year olds, but that might vary from state to state.