Preparing My Children for When Dad Deploys to Iraq

Updated on April 02, 2008
M.F. asks from Altus, OK
37 answers

My husband will be deployed in four or five months, and I have a 2 year old and 6 month old. Any ideas on how to better prepare then for the days ahead.

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for the advice... for sure I'll be taping him reading to the kids. Great advice and support from you all. I'll keep you all updated on the days ahead!

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R.D.

answers from Oklahoma City on

We are just getting ready to do this again in about a month. I have two daughters that are older this time around, 8 and 10.

However, when they were really young one of the best things we did was mount 5x7 photos of dad and pics of them with him on cardboard and laminate them. I still have those photos and they are bent, chewed on, and basically worn out. My oldest was almost two at the time and she carried one particular photo everywhere.

Now we have the webcam and that is a great, great invention. We have used it numerous times while he was TDY. I see it being a way to keep dad closer since he will be so far away.

Best of luck!

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J.K.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I saw on the news the other day where someone is offering photography for free before they deploy and then they make this little book for the father and the kids to look at and keep with them while seperated. I can't remember who it was though.
I would also get some video of daddy reading a bedtime story ect. to let them see and hear him even if he can't be there.

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A.R.

answers from Mobile on

You can also get a free copy of the Elmo DVD from www.militaryonesource.com Become a member of this site if your not already because they have TONS of useful information!
We havn't done the deployment thing yet. So best of luck to you and your family.

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T.R.

answers from Lawton on

I too am an army wife, we just got here from Fort Drum so I totally know what you are dealing with. That is all we do up there is deploy! That being said, your kids are so young so it will honestly be easier on you. Just have lots of pics of daddy, talk about him, hopefully you will get to chat with him via yahoo IM and do web cam, so if the hours work, let them see him. It will be harder for him than the kids believe it or not. The biggest key is to let kids be kids and let yourself be a woman, not just a mom. Don't feel bad about the two free hours of day care you will get daily, don't even feel bad about letting them go to day care once in a while if you don't work! It lets you be a woman and makes you a better mom. When you are stressed out and tired of your mommy role, they pick up on it. I have been through deployments for over a year at a time, long extended classes and so on. My girls are almost pros at this now lol. Just hang out with other moms, do activities with your girls and just turn his being away into a positive thing for as much of it as you can. I take my girls to places that my husband never would go, we do special things together like ladies night out, as they are 6 and soon to be 8, dinner in dresses is a lot of fun to them. We miss my husband a great deal when he is gone but we really try to do lots of different things so that it is kind of like a really long vacation or activity. Toddlers and babies will be content with you, they will miss daddy but if you have photos, video tapes and what not and talk about daddy and do activities for him, they will not forget him and associate well with him. You will do just fine and if you ever want to talk, just respond back to this if that is how it works. I honestly don't know. Good luck!

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W.B.

answers from Little Rock on

Well I just wanted to say My husband is deployed he just made it to kuwait 2 days ago and he will be in Iraq in about a week he won't be back till January sometime. The only advise I can give is be strong for your babies my kids are 14 , 8 and 23 months old. and I know it's hard and you don't know me but if you ever want to talk please feel free we all just need to stick together for the same cause of taking care of our families while our souldiers are taking care of us all!!

Take care it will be ok
W. B

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K.W.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Those are tough ages. There isn't a whole lot you can do as far as preparing them. They are just too young to really comprehend. I would definitely have a photo of the child and dad(this can certainly apply to both children) that the kids can hold and handle. The other thing I highly recommend is having dad make a recording of himself reading favorite books or singing favorite songs that the kids can listen to whenever. My kids have really responded well to that. Especially when they are young and even the six month old might like that. When dad does leave it is sooooo important that you maintain as normal a routine as possible, it will help the kids and you. I have made paper chains that count down the days he will be gone, just make sure you add several links just in case and you can adjust as you get closer without the kids seeing you, You simply have the kids tear one off each day. The other thing is a candy jar for the two year old. They get to eat a piece each day and they will see the jar getting empty. Just make sure you add extra pieces to that as well. You can have the kids decorate a candy jar for dad to take with him too. Hope these ideas help. Good luck

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J.C.

answers from Hattiesburg on

If the base you are at has a Family Support Center (or equivalent) they usually have classes or support groups for families that have members deployed. Sometimes they have goody bags for the kids that include coloring books. Keep lots of pictures of Daddy around and if you have a camera phone make sure to have a picture of him that your children can look at when he calls. Creating a photo album of your family with lots of pictures of Dad and the kids can help too. Another idea I heard from another family was to have a special bear (or other stuffed animal) that your husband can give to your child and that can be a reminder of Daddy.
For your husband it will be hard when he comes back and the kids may or may not recognize him. Keeping the pictures ever-present should help.
I hope you have a good military community that can lend you the support you need. If you ever need someone to talk to, just send me an email.

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S.H.

answers from Huntsville on

We haven't actually gone through a deployment yet. We are still waiting to find out exactly when he will leave (hurry up & wait!). We have a 2 year old daughter who is very much a daddy's girl, so I am worried about how she will deal with him being gone so long.

Someone told me about this free DVD from Sesame Street that is supposed to help children cope with a deployed parent. It is meant for ages 3-5, but I got one for my daughter anyways. I have not watched it yet tho, so I have no idea what it is like. I want to watch it before letting my daughter watch it just so I will know what it is like before she sees it. You can request one or even download the video from here:
http://www.sesameworkshop.org/tlc/

Also, we got her a "Daddy Doll" from http://www.daddydolls.com. It is a "doll" with a head to toe picture of her dad on one side. We also paid extra to have a head to to pic of his backside on the back of the doll too! ha! Or you can just have a solid fabric on the back. You can also get a sound recorder to put in a pocket on the doll. Dad can record a message before he leaves and when you squeeze the doll it will play the message. They also have pillows & pillow cases, dog tags, and bears with photo t-shirts.

Some other ideas that I've heard about (we haven't done these yet) are to have daddy record himself reading some of your daughters' favorite books, singing their favorite songs, etc. You could just do a sound recording, or if you have a video camera you could have video!

Also, keep lots of pictures of daddy around the house, in your daughters' rooms, etc. Perhaps a scrapbook of pictures of daddy & the girls. You could sit with your daughters & look at the book together. Talk to them (or at least the 2 yr old) about the pictures & help her remember things she & daddy do together. ("There's you with Daddy playing in the sand!")

Maybe some other ladies will have more ideas. It's harder with the younger ones because most of the suggestions I find are for older children who can understand more, like showing where daddy is on a globe/map, or having the child write letters, etc.

Thank your husband (and YOU!) for your service! What branch is he in? Mine is Army National Guard (but used to be active duty before I met him).

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T.S.

answers from Little Rock on

At their age, it will be difficult to really "prepare" them although your two year old will probably have some understanding of him leaving. It is important that they know that he is not leaving them but he is doing something for them, his country, and for the welfare of others - to be free and safe. Before he leaves, take lots of photos with him holding, kissing, hugging, reading to, playing with, bathing them, napping with, singing to, and feeding the children - videos would be good too with his voice. It will be important that they "hear" and "see" their daddy every day while he is gone so the more photos and video you take, the more variety there will be for them. If you can record him reading books, then you can look at books with them while their daddy "reads" it to them. You can even take copies of the photos of them with their daddy, have them laminated, and make a book out of them so these precious photos can be carried in their diaper bag during outings and at church.

I will be praying for his safety and quick return as well as strength, safety, and courage for you while he is serving our great country.

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S.B.

answers from Biloxi on

Try militaryonesource.com
This is probably the best military family support site. You won't believe how much information is there!
Stay strong!
S.

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D.C.

answers from San Diego on

Hello M.,
We have been in your shoes, so know that you are not alone. You will be in our prayers. There is a Elmo DVD, out there. I received mine through Military one Source. On the web, it was free. It was short but to the point. Also, www.daddydolls.com they make dolls of your husband that the kids can carry around, sleep with and share with. This was especially great for B-days and Holidays, becsue you can take picturs of daddy at the occasion with the doll. My 3 year old didn't miss him much, because he was gone 7 months while we PCS'd to our next duty station, then when we all got to be together they sent him off for 7 months to the gulf. But you would think that it would be tough for my 8 yr old. It wasn't since he got to call alot and email. She only had a few incidents but it wasn't really bad. I made sure that when we sent him packages that they took a part in it. He has been back for a year now and my oldest gets nevous when he goes on travel for short trips(3-7 days) SHe thinks he is going away again. My youngest it doesn't bother her much because she still gets to talk to him while he is gone and she thinks she can sleep in Daddy's spot on the bed. (only sometimes does she win)
Be strong in front of the kids, they will read your body language. The post office has 2 sizes of priority mail FLAT rate boxes. These will save you a ton of money for heavy things. Bless you & Him while you are apart!!
I hope this helps ease you! Please feel free to email back if you need anything!!

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H.J.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Take lots of pictures of dad with your children. That way they can relate to him as someone they know well. If you have a video camera, take lots of video of him playing with them, reading to them and other things so that they have something to watch while dad is gone. If he can take a video camera with him and send back videos for them to watch of him reading the same stories that he read at home. Not only does that give the children a sense of continuity, but being familiar with dad in a uniform might make it easier for them to relate to him when he comes home. I hope these ideas help!

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A.M.

answers from New York on

Hi M., My husband was deployed to Afghanistan for a year just after our son turned 4. Because children do not understand the concept of time, the following was one of the best ideas that I rec'd and used to help our son "see" how much longer until Dad gets home. Take 2" strips of construction paper and roll is together, staple it and then enter twine it with the next. Making a chain, like the chains we made as kids to decorate the Christmas tree. We did one circle for week in the month and separated them with a black circle. Each month was a different color. Red for December/Christmas, Orange for October/Halloween you get the idea. We then used thumb tacks to string up the 12 month project from one end of his room to the other. At the end of each month we cut down the past month. This was such a wonderful Visual for him. As the lenghts got shorter and shorter he was able to "see" how closer we were getting to Dad coming home. One last thing. To help not add stress to him, again b/c of the age and lack on "time" concept we were told to not tell him until a couple of days out. This way he would not be asking everyday for weeks on end...."Is this the day that Dad is leaving." Good luck.

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D.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My son is getting ready to leave for Afghanistan and he just got back from NTC, he was gone for 4 weeks. The kids really missed their dad. I have three grandchildren 6, 4 & 3, with one to be born in August. My daughter-in-law talks to this kids all the time about daddy getting ready to leave. It is his job and they know that. She is ordering pillows with his picture on them, they are called Daddy Pillows. Usually the kids prefer to sleep with mom and walk around in dad's t-shirts. You get the idea. Anything that will remind them of daddy. And my son has DVD's of him telling them stories & reading from books for bedtime. Good luck and thank you to your husband for his service and dedication. Thank you to all the soldiers in service.

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A.B.

answers from Jonesboro on

I hope this doesn't sound too silly, but a friend of mine got a life-sized photograph cut out of her husband for her kids when her husband got deployed, and she swears it is the reason they were not afraid or aprehensive of him when he returned almost a year and a half later. Before he left she also took several videos of him specifically speaking to each child individually by name (including the baby), talking about day to day activities the kids would be involved in, and reading to them. Her kids were 5, 2, and 10 mos. when he left. God bless you and your family, because I know you are all serving our country.

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B.W.

answers from Hattiesburg on

I don't know how to prepare them before your husband leaves for iraq, but here are just a couple things that you could do after is gone. you could have the same time every day say an hour before bed to sit all your children down and have "daddy time" they could draw pictures for him, you could write down the events of your day in a journal, ask them what their favorite thing about daddy is and write down their answers. It would be really neat for him to see everything you did while he was gone! 2- you could surround yourself with all your family and friends and take lots of pictures to put in an album for him. Just make sure they know it is normal and ok to miss him and its ok for them to see you cry cuz u miss him too!

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D.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My daughter was 9 months old when my husband deployed to Iraq last year. I really don't have many tips on how to prepare except to REALLY enjoy the time you have together, but I do have one thing that helped Savannah still recognize my husband. I printed off some 8x10 pictures of him and some with him & her together and bought some laminating sheets from Wal-mart. She would carry around the pictures of her Daddy all the time. Plus then she still got to practice saying Daddy a lot. And I would like to point out she was reaching towards him and saying Daddy right when he stepped off the plane and I was still trying to find him in the midst of all the camo! Ha.

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B.S.

answers from Shreveport on

M.,
As a mommy of two with a husband who has spent more time in Afghanistan than at home, let me say I have been there!! Elmo's DVD from Sesame Street is good, the family readiness group (FRG) was giving them away for Army and probably the other services. Big help was recording (video) daddy and the kids playing. Everything together, eating, playing, cleaning house...whatever. My son loved to watch those over and over and as he got older he was able to recognize daddy when he came home. As for the 6 month old, there is not much you can do. When daddy gets home, spend alot of time with the kids and you with daddy, but don't be upset if the baby will look to you for what to do and how to react. Best of luck.

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A.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

When my sister deployed, I let my 2 year old daughter watch Disney's Mulan. I explained to her that her aunt was like Mulan... she was at war and her family is very, very proud of her. I am not sure how much my daughter actually understands, but she has made at least some sort of concrete connection between not seeing her aunt for a while and the concept of being away at war (though of course she doesn't understand what all that entails yet). We also keep photos of family all over the nursery, particularly the aunt and uncles who are in the military, and we pray together for them every night.

I don't know if any of this will help. I can only imagine how hard it would be to send daddy. Hang in there, and God bless you. You have the toughest job in the world, M., and I am proud of you!

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D.T.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Hi M.,
First of all please accept my deepest gratitude to you, your husband and your family for sacrificing your lives so unselfishly for all of us to enjoy the freedom this country has every day. Thank you!
My husband was deployed during the first Desert Shield/Desert Storm. We had 3 children at home at that time they were 15 years old, almost 3 years old and a 3 month old. We were not given but a few hours notice and that time was spent getting him ready to deploy. We were Navy on a Marine Corps base and we had just moved there from California and were still unpacking boxes. I did not know anyone. A Marine Corp Captain gave me his wife's name and phone number and asked me to call her and be a support to her. They did not have children at the time so she was alone. We became best friends and still to this day keep in touch. The key to the deployment for the children is consistency. They need a routine and they need to be responsible for their routine. You have been given some wonderful advice from many people who have been through a similar situation. Be sure to take very good care of yourself because you have to have the strength to carry on and you can't give to others when you do not have it for yourself. Trust God in everything. He will get you through each second of every day. The days will be what you make them. You are in charge of your thoughts and your feelings. You can choose to be positive and happy for your family. Your children will take their cue from you. Lean on your friends and keep real busy with outside fun activities with your kids. Write your husband every day and keep him in the family loop. He will starve for your communication. It will mean the world to him. Send care packages often. Pray with him daily. Take care! Email if you need a friend to talk with. God Bless!
D.

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S.B.

answers from Tulsa on

First...my gratitude to both you and your husband for the awesome sacrifice for our country. I pray for all of you to be encouraged and protected during his time away.
You didn't mention the age of your stepchild, but having been in her shoes, her sense of well being would be of paramount concern too. Probably your two year old will be comforted knowing Mom is still here and Daddy has to be away for awhile...YOU know the words already.. :) and you're the one she wants to hear them from. Your baby will probably respond to knowing Mom is still here as well. The stepdaughter's connection to you is her Dad...and he's going away. I pray she'll be able to feel secure and protected too. You're a wonderful Mom to be thinking of these children and the impact Dad's leaving will have. My hat's off to YOU.

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D.K.

answers from New Orleans on

I am not sure you can prepare a 6 month old for something like that chances are if he is gone for a year or two she won't remember him sad as it sounds, however the 2 year old just make sure both girls spend as much time as possible with dad. Have him do special things with them and just him. have him take your 2 year old out on a daddy date. maybe dinner at her fav. place like chucky cheese or soemwhere like that and to a movie that SHE wants to see. Also, have alot of at home time just with you 4. Do a movie night, a game night with the 2 year old, play some easy roll the ball games with the 6 month old and just spend what they call quality time together as a family. These are the truest of lasting memories. Trust me. I am 48 years old and I lost my mom nearly 4 years ago. My memories of her are the best of our family times. Just make lots of memories for them. Take A LOT of pictures before dad leaves and duplicate them. PUt alot of pics of dad in both kids rooms and let him take a set with him. When the baby begins to get older remind her every single day that is Daddy daddy daddy. The 5 year old will have a tough time and through the support of your church and freinds you will do ok. What about mom? What kind of things do you need. Make sure you and your husband have a coupel of nights out w/o the kids. You ahve to have some memories too. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. God Bless you all and especially your husband as he goes over to Iraq. God will be with him. Please keep us updated!

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E.T.

answers from Birmingham on

M.,
If you don't have a Web camera and a good Internet connection, I'd suggest getting those if you can. I know that has helped many of my friends when they have had Mom/Dad go to Iraq. Your Husband's command post should also have a family support center that can offer help to you and connect you with the families of those in his unit.
Our family would also make cassette tapes of us talking to relatives that lived far away, and you could do the same with your kids, making tapes for Dad. Although, these days it's probably a CD made on the computer.
You might also research counselors in your area that specialize in play therapy. I think most work with children 3 years and older. This could help your daughters and stepdaughter express their feelings about Dad being gone, if you think they need help with that, or if they begin acting out instead of talking to you about how they feel. There are counselors from every background, even religious ones, that can help your kids from a faith background if you'd prefer.

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K.S.

answers from Hattiesburg on

Hi, my husband will be leaving in either June or January. Big difference in time but, we won't know until they get ready to tell us. I'm planning on doing the videos and pictures for my girls ages 8 and 4 and I helped make my husband a myspace page so we can go to it and see new pics that he will put on it and I can save and print them out for the girls. I'm also hoping to educate him about the webcam so that we can talk and see each other on weekends or if he has time via the webcam. With all the technology out there, I'm hoping that using it will help us not to miss him as badly. I hope this helps and if you have any ideas for me feel free to share them.

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S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

The 6 month old won't really understand & it may worry the 2 yr old if you tell her too far in advance. But here's a couple things you can do before hand & have for the kids (and you) later.
Record dad reading or telling a story that you can play for your kids later, so they remember his voice. You could also record your 2 yr old singing a song with dad. Put together a picture book of your kids with mom & dad so they can look at it. You could even record dad telling the story of the pictures & they can look & listen to dad when he's away. Be sure to make a copy for dad for his trip. Good luck & I'll keep your family in my prayers.

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K.M.

answers from Lafayette on

I am a military wife and I have 4 children. My husband has deployed 4 times. The best advice I can give you is.
Take every day one day at a time. The worst thing to do is WORRY. Don't get me wrong. It's totally natural to worry to a certain extint. But DO NOT live with the news. They definatly give so much false information and will lead you to restless days and nights. Try your best to stay away from CNN. The less stress you have, the better off those babies will be. They may be little, but they can still sense that something is not right with mommy, that leads to cranky babies, and a stressed out mom. Stay active with the kids, this will keep you less focused on what is going on with daddy. Show LOTS of videos and photos of daddy to the little ones. This way it keeps daddy in their minds, and makes for a smoother transistion when daddy returns. You wont have shy babies on your hands towards daddy.Join a support group and stay active in it. Through other wives and parents you will feel more connected to your soldier. REMEMBER!!! Your days will be as LONG as you make them. I am sure your husband has a deployment packet with a bunch of brochures. READ THEM. They have some good advice. Keep your faith with Jesus and all will be fine. Good luck to you and your family. My prayers are with you.

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D.B.

answers from Shreveport on

One thing that u can do is have dad read the girls their favorite books onto a tape and then play them for him while he is gone. He can also read them books that are new to them so they can have a surprise of something new. They will always treasure the tapes. May God Bless you and your family.

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L.R.

answers from Little Rock on

Hi, We are Air Force and Daddy has deployed 7 times already (3 to Iraq) . . . there are a couple of things that REALLY help . . . first: print 8x11" pics of your husband with the kids and place them at their height all over the house, fridge (magnet paper rocks), above changing table, near swing, across/above toilet, anywhere your kids are apt to see regularly . . . it helps them remember all the fun with Daddy and remember his face especially when they are tiny and may forget due to age; andsecond: get a build the bear or some knock off toy that your husband can record his voice telling them goodnight and that he loves them . . . it really helps settle their nerves and helps them remember his voice especially for the tiny ones (you may have him record a video/DVD/CD that has him reading some of their favorite stories for bedtime). For now help explain Daddy is going on a trip and get a Walmart world placemat and have your child use it so they can see where Daddy is all the time . . . it helps them feel like they know where he is and empowered . . . also give the older one benchmark time lines (like Daddy is going to go on a trip after the 4th of July . . . you know the fireworks and Daddy will come home by Christmas ) . . . each time that holiday comes closer keep reminding the child because right now she is too young to really understand time but holidays/celebrations they really grasp. Also explain the type of job he will be doing in kid terms and get them toys for them to pretend play that they are doing Daddy's job with Daddy before he leaves . . . empowerment. My husband is Electronic Warfare (missile warning systems on aircraft) so he gets planes and tools and has the girls help Daddy fix the planes. O' while he is over there have him take a laptop (I know they are expensive) and connect a camera to it and you too at home . . . that way you all can conference -depending on the shift and his locale.

If I think of anything else we do I will email you . . . I hope this helps, my girls have been between 3 mos and 4 years each time Daddy has left and these techniques have always helped with him leaving and their reunions (sometimes even excited). Please remember to do the picture thing . . . it is very scary when children don't recognize their parent and devastating to Daddy (I've seen it too many times).

We have been in the military now for 8 years with 3 children (2 girls: 3 and 4, and 1 son: 5 mos) and have used all of these techniques to help with the sending off and return of Daddy . . . sometimes planning a big party for send off and return or vacation with 2 1/2 year old help also eases their separation anxiety.

Just remember that while he is gone the eldest one will probably regress in some things . . . potty training and behavior . . . just try to stay sane and remember that the pain and feeling of loss and loneliness you have is worse for your girls and you have to help them through is the best you can . . . GOOD LUCK!

O' just for giggles: we got pregnant with all three after a deployment! So be prepared for a baby boom in his unit/squadron.

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C.N.

answers from Huntsville on

I have been where you are at now. My kids were 2yrs and 5months old when their dad left for overseas. Thats been alot of years ago. However you just need to let them know how much daddy loves them and keep in touch with him as much as possible. And in this day and age it is a whole lot easier then when we were apart. Back in 1980. It sounds like you keep pretty busy and in my book that is the best thing to do. Time passes faster that way. Also with your faith in our Lord that will carry you all the way through this trying time.

May God bless and keep all of you safe and back in each others arms.

From one militay wife (retired) to another
C.

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H.A.

answers from Decatur on

M.,
The Air Force wife has given you some good advice. There is another web site that you can go to also. http://www.myarmylifetoo.com/skins/malt/home.aspx?AllowSS... it is an Army site and has some good info. My husband has been deployed twice and my youngest was 7 the first time it was hard on her. Watching vedeo's of Dad would be good for them also get a web cam. They have done a lot of improvements since 2003 and a lot of soldiers have internet in there rooms. That way the little ones can see and here Daddy and can talk to him. It is cheeper then phone cards. If you live on post PLEASE meet your neibhors (ms). They helped a lot for moral support also the FRG can help a lot. And just take it one day at a time. You can also get a calander and let your oldest help count down the days until he comes home.

Best of Luck
H.

Stars and Strips has a map of all of the bases in Iraq. If you email me directly I can send it to you as I can not attach it here.

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A.K.

answers from Tulsa on

I remember when one of the gentleman went in to space he sat down with a movie camera before he left and read the kids stories. This tapes allow the kids to spend good times with dad in a way when he was gone.I would also make sure dad has a day alone with the two year old before he goes, He can take him to the zoo or the park, out to eat etc. I pray God with be with you all while he is gone.

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J.H.

answers from Tulsa on

They are too young to understand future things. You can help them by showing them videos of him talking to them. Let your church family minister to you. Stay involved with other people. Let your children cling to you.
My daughter-in-law went thru this, and it is hard, but will not last. She started a support group for families like yours. I don't know where you are. Email me: ____@____.com with "deployment in the subject line.

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C.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

M. I am a mother and soldier and have been to Iraq twice. I have 5 kids and deployed with lots of dads that had very young kids. I would suggest is get a movie carama take a lot of movies now and show them to the kids while he is deployed also put a good picture of him in his uniform by their bed and around the house and tell the kids there's daddy and he watching out over them. Send the carama with your husband and have him take movies there doing daily stuff and then when he sends them home watch them and show them that he is doing the same thing they are just in a different place. Later when he is home the kids will want to watch them still.

A little about me I am a grandmother of 4, I have served in the military for 22 years. Been deployed 3 times and just retired in March 07 with my SSG.

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M.S.

answers from Jackson on

My brother is currently serving in Iraq himself, and he has been gone since June of last year. He has two sons, a 10 yr old and a 6 yr old. For us, all we could do is just sit down and tell them that their dad was gonna be gone for a little while. He was deployed to Afganistan a few years ago, and they really didn't understand when we told them that daddy was gonna be gone. With your children being as small as they are, they aren't gonna understand. The best thing to do is for him to spend as much time with you and them as much as possible, and then when he is deployed show them pictures, or if he can call you while over there, let them hear his voice over the phone. Have him tell them he loves them and misses them so they know daddy is still there. Do little things for him as well. Send him cards, letters, emails, packages. That type stuff and have your kids draw pictures and take pictures and send them to him. That is what we have done and it helps the kids stay connected with dad while deployed.

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J.H.

answers from Little Rock on

Your children are at a good age for childrens cloth covered photo albums ( they make them especially for kids) Just take lots of photos of dad holding each kid, and all together and the baby will not be able to tear up the photo album. Your oldest child will start to think when will I see daddy again? My son was 6 months when dad left to go into the military basic training. Every time he called I let him talk to our son. I showed our son pictures every day and told him daddy is working for our family. Our son did really well with it all. Good Luck to you!

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K.W.

answers from Dothan on

I work with children around the Ft Rucker area. Alot of them have parents deployed. Many families put out lots of photos and take the time to do some special things with the children before deployment. Since yours are so young, the pictures would be great. Take lots of pictures of dad and the girls. Once deployed let the girls make cards and special things to mail to dad.

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T.M.

answers from Little Rock on

Hi, M.!!
I am the Family Readiness Group (FRG) Leader for our unit. www.Militaryonesource.com is a great place for military families to go to get free information. I ordered the Elmo dvd for my families that have small children. Elmo helps explain deployment for you that gives your child a better understanding of what is going on. Check out the website, they have lots of things to help you too!!
You are welcome to contact me if you like. ____@____.com
Hope things go well with you.
T.

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