Curious for Advice on a Roommate

do a contract please i have the same situation in my house and believe me is a nightmare righht now because a lot of issues were not address it early

you can do 2 things

sign a contract with her and explain she will pay rent how much is going to pay for electricity and how much for grocerys

or thye other option is that she find a studio usually is cheaper than apartment and live by her own

my BIL come to live for short time and now he has 5 years living here and we want to kick him out because is a nightmare living with him so much time.

I"m going to presume she's over 18 ...

1. CONTRACT/TENANT AGREEMENT ... you guys should seriously sit down and have her sign a contract, just as if she was renting or leasing elsewhere. Be specific.
2. AMEND THE TERMS ... if she's going to eat family meals, then include her on a family chore chart and raise her "rent" to include "boarding" with 2 or 3 meals a day, but not snacks.

My dad did this for me when i came home in the middle of my divorce and I was 24 with two kids. That way, there was no ill feelings between the family members and so that everyone understood what their rights and responsiblities are. I know your hubby doesn't want to say anything, but truly, this needs to be something either presented by him or by both of you (preferably both, with HIM explaining).

In exchange for this, why not offer to track her "rent" payments every month and give her receipts. That way, she can use this as part of her payment history when she is eventually goes to get her own place. Sometimes, they will accept it as a type of rental history to show she can make her payments on-time.

Anyway ... $200 a month is nothing. You're spending way more than that on her food and utilities alone, i'm sure. If she doesn't pay, LOCK HER DOOR. No access until she pays up.

Good luck.

This is really such an easy thing to solve....tell her she has to leave. Why are you letting her stay in clear violation of your agreed terms????????? I don't even want to hear that she is family and you feel bad. This was an arrangement that you guys had with her that she is violating in every way. You don't need your husband's 'blessing' to talk to her about this and you don't need him to do if for you. If you want to be nice you can give her one more chance but make sure that she knows how dire the situtaion is and that you are more than ready to move her stuff out.

If Iw ere you I would add on $25 or so per month for food....it is obvious she is going to take yours anyhow. Dividing food up NEVER works in my experience.

Wow, what a spoiled brat she is! And your husband "doesn't want to hear about it"????? Well, too bad! She can't pay you the agreed-upon rent, yet she miraculously has money to go out with her friends and buy toys for herself?? What's wrong with this picture? She is a free-loader, plain and simple, and just because she's family you are under no obligation to put up with it. If she were just a tenant renting a room from you, would you tolerate not getting paid the full rent even for one month? I doubt it. But of course with a tenant you probably would have an agreement in writing, which you should have had with your SIL as well. She is taking advantage of you and your husband is enabling her. Give her a deadline to find a new place - help her find one if you have to -because it sure doesn't sound like she's inclined to change her ways. Give her the wake-up call she needs to grow up and get a life. There's always more than one solution to a problem. Getting your hubby on board will be more than half the battle. Good Luck.

Write down what you agreed upon to begin with, and if she didn't sign something, have her sign it now. Be clear about expectations and add anything that you found irritating that you want to set boundaries for now, ie. closing window (especially if not in the room) and not storing food in her room. If she doesn't have the rent she can sell her new xbox. Explain that the $200 is to cover her increased electricity and water and as a courtesy to you for allowing her to stay longer than a guest would stay. You love her and love having her to dinner, but you need to know she's coming and would appreciate a contribution to the table since guests don't come empty handed.
By the Way: You have a job: it is raising your children and managing your household. This is how you bless your family and the nurturing of your children (without having to spend what you make on daycare) is invaluable. If she is going to be part of you household she is under your management. Tell her that your relationship with her and with your husband is valuable enough, that you will ask her to leave rather than strain it by allowing disrespectful behavior to occur between the adults in the family.

Go back to your original agreement and start over, or make new arrangements.

First, your husband needs to support you. That's not right he's not willing to hear what you have to say. She needs to pay the full amount you agreed on. And if she doesn't want to buy her own meals, she needs to pay you at least $50 more per month. Now since the water is supposed to be included in her monthly bills, you can't be upset it went up $8. That's to be expected when you add an adult to the home. She also should be helping you out clean from time to time. I would tell your husband if he doesn't want to kick her out, he's going to have to get on board with you and have a talk with her b/c you should not have to deal with this in your own home. Good luck!

I would put it in writing. Thankfully its only been 2 months. I would also be sure to put the balance that she owes (250) since she has moved in. On the agreemrnt include a due date for each month. Each month when she pays her $200 I would be sure to either give a receipt or have both people sign in a notebook for documentation purposes. I know she is family but this is also reality. She is getting off dirt cheap. I dont know anywhere you can live $200 a month. Not even a sleazy motel.

i think it's time for a heart to heart talk with her. and your husband needs to get on board!!!! she NEEDS to start paying the 200 per month that was agreed on. that is so cheap!! she is lucky. and with the food. i mean if she wants to join in dinner ..... tell her to add on 50 per month for dinners? she sounds very selfish and UNappreciative! so sorry. but ... your husband needs to back you up. i wouldn't go so far as to kick her out at this point but definitly TALK to her!

I'd write up the contract and have her sign it as well. Give her receipts when she pays the rent, make sure you make a copy of her check or money order.... You might not get rid of her in forever, then you can sue her for back rent if you feel like it, especially since you are already not liking her much.
I think if she signs the "contract" it will automatically make her compliant, at least that is the end result that you can hope for anyway.
Otherwise~~~ Judge Judy here I come. haha.
I would confront her first with a polite reminder of what she is lacking in your original agreement. I hope this is a lesson well learned for you. I would never let anyone live with me, did it once, it went awry, and I'll not make that mistake twice.

Oh boy, time for another talk. I think you guys should tell her she broke rules you all sat down and agreed to and she has to leave by set a date. I wouldn't even get upset, if she isn't home call her tell her she needs to come sit down with you guys right away and if she can't she needs to come and get her things ASAP or you will pack them up yourself and they will be in a bag by your front door. Don't feel bad and do not allow this woman to walk on you any longer!!! Be prepared she will be mad, she sounds immature so this is going to be all your fault to just stand your ground.

Good luck!!

I think it is time for you and your husband to have a heart to heart talk.......tell him what she is doing to you not on finacially, but emotionally.........and if she can buy an Xbox, she can pay you..........ask him what he would do if he was living with you and your husband.......and you were his sister..........would he "cheat" his family as she is doing to you? Tell him that she is being seflish and unfair.......as well as taking advantage of the offer you have made.........and find out why he doesn't see it that way...........you should also tell him that this is going to cause family issues down the raod because you are losing all respect for his sister and you are going to get angry.......

Then you need to either make your SIL stay at home for a night, or tell her in a letter, left in her room, that this has to stop. You don't have to say that you will kick her out, but you might hint at it.........stating that you feel you are being taken advantage of, that she agreed on certain things, and she is not upholding her end of the bargain.......that if she is going to eat at the house, every meal is 5.00........which you will start tracking.......and then, I would make up a "contract" and make sure she either signs it or moves.........with all the money issues stated up front and include meals, etc...........make it like a lease if you must, but get your point across...........then you can sue her if you need to......when she pays you, give her a receipt.......and keep a log.....of meals, payments etc............start treating her like a person you rented the room too............

If your husband doesn't understand or jump on board, then you still need to do it.........tell him too.........that you would expect this from someone in your family to honor their word and that you expect it from his family too..........yes, there might be times when she has a legit excuse, but right now that doesn't seem to be the case...........you might even let her make up the differrence by babysitting, if you can trust her to do that.......but either way, she needs to become an adult.....no matter how old she is....

Good Luck and I hope this doesn't damage your relationship with your husband (lose respect for him) and the rest of his family too..........is there anyone else in the family you can talk to that might be able to explain this to her and get her on the right page?

I agree, she needs to sign a contract. Rent is due on a specific date of the month.
Have you just flat out asked when she will be catching up on her back rent?
Or you could hand her a few bills that total the amount due.

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