Court Ordered Visitation with Grandparents

What does your stepson want to do? Does he want to play football or are you wanting him to play football? If he wants to, then you all need to sit down and discuss a way to work this out. I dated a guy once whose parents were divorced. His father would push for the visitation. After a while, he started to resent his father because he was not able to work on those weekends. So my concern is that your stepson might start resenting his grandmother and thus defeating the purpose of the visitation. The adults needs to sit down and discuss this reasonably. Also, if the young man wants to play football he needs to let his grandmother know as well. Good luck!

If the court order states that she is to take him to his games, then she is responsible to take him to his games or else she is violating the court order. Which can/will be used against her if this becomes an issue.

First I'd try communicating with her about your concerns. If this doesn't work seek legal counsel if you feel that strongly about this issue. There is a long road ahead and it would be better if you could just discuss this rather than legalize it unless necessary. However, you do not want this type of behavior on her part, so nip it in the bud either way!

God Bless!

this is an unusual situation.....

Have either of you tried to discuss this issue with the Grandmother? Have your stepson been involved in the conversations so that he can explain to her how he feels?

If you've tried this route and it hasn't worked you might want to discuss the situation with an attorney - your stepson may be old enough to share his feelings with the court.

I think it is like a divorce decree, if she is in violation of what is in the court order, visitation can be reduced or removed. You may have file the request but a court order is a court order, don't do different unless the other party agrees.

I admire your concern for your stepson. I too and a stepmom and know how challenging it can be. I would have dad try to reason with the grandparents and work out an alternate solutuion to help make up the loss of time. Offer to come pick him up from them and bring him back after his game.... it could be that they are not "up to" being out in the weather. Yes, it would be extra work for you and hubby, but afterall, you would be doing it for your stepson. But, most importantly, make sure your stepson really does want to play. Make sure the grandparents aren't telling him he has to choose (them or football) and applying guilt to him. Maybe have a sit down with the parents, the grandparents, and the stepson.... encourage the stepson to speak freely about what he wants. Make sure he knows that it is ok to want something differently than what someone else wants for you. If this doesn't work, I would seek a court order altering the visitation or something. I am not sure how old your stepson is, but at some point the court can appoint him an attorney so that he can actually say what he desires..... and I believe that age is 12 or 13. Not sure.... my daughter is 13 and has told me she doesn't want to have to go to a judge, that she is happy the way things are.... I told her she doesn't have to..... it's only for when you want something to change and your parents aren't in agreement.

I wish you good luck. Being a stepmom brings about a whole different set of challenges and rewards. Keep up the good work!

Is she really going against what you are teaching him, or is she just maximizing her time with him? If it's about visitation, you really should consult her before scheduling something during her time with him. Maybe she has plans of her own.

It's really important that you guys try to work this out together. Maybe you can make certain allowances in other areas so she can give a little in this one. She could be refusing in order to make a point. Try to work with her. If she just doesn't want to do it, it's her legal right. It's like parental visitation--that weekend is legally designated for her to spend with her grandson, unless she gives it up. As long as she's not mistreating him.... Depending on his age and what his activities are, you might be able to modify the agreement.

Good luck with working that out.