I am a single mother of 3, 2 girls ages 11 & 9 and a son age 7. I work full time. I know I am probably crazy, but I am considering going through the process to become a foster parent. The thought is a bit scary, because I wonder if I am good enough to be a foster parent. I try my best with my own, I have great kids who although bicker really are great kids. But being a single mother I wonder if they would let me.
I grew up basically with no parents. My mother was strung out on drugs and I bounced from being alone to being with my grandmother until age 12. After that I was pretty much on my own as a runaway and in and out of group homes and foster care. So I am familiar with the good and bad that can occur in a foster care setting.
I ended up a teenage mother. After that I turned my life around, finished school top of my class and have been working hard @ being better than what I ever had the chance to have as a parent and a woman. Even with being a mother of 3 by the age of 21. I know this is a lot to divulge to perfect strangers but I wanted there to be an understanding as to why I feel the way I do about foster care.
I am not rich. By a long shot. But I realize 1 person can make a world of difference in a child’s life. I know I have a lot on my plate as it is, But something has been pulling me to go this route for a long time. My home tends to be the drop in spot for my daughters friends when they have problems, or want to talk or hang out. So I am used to feeding and looking out for anyone who comes to my door in some form or fashion. My motto is what’s 1 more?
Does anyone have any experience or knowledge they can give? Words of advice? Do they allow single parents to be foster parents? Am I nuts? lol
yes. they allow single moms to become foster paretns.
my only advice (which is very little) is it may be very difficult for some to NOT become attached to the foster children that you take in. just beware of that.
you are a mentor and a friend but in no way mom or dad.
you are doing a great service to those parents that need the foster care.
good luck to you and have a good holiday.
Yes, you can be single and a foster parent. There was a lady in my MOPS group that is one. That same lady also does licensed childcare as well. I live in NYS.
Hi K.,
You can absolutely become a single foster parent. The foster care system is SO overwhelmed that the just need loving people that are willing to share thier homes. My sister was one of them. She is 24 years old and has had 3 foster children.
I can say this, research it! Make sure that it's right for you and the child(ren). Money should not be an equating factor to raising foster children becausre that state does pay late or sometimes not at all. Other than that, I wish you much success.
Please let us know how it goes!
Yes you can be single and a foster parent. my partner and myself are foster parents. We have 5 children,{3 boys and 2 girls} one of which is hers by birth. We have an adopted daughter 15, 2 brothers ages 4 and 1 whom we are in the process of being adopted and we have a 17 month old baby girl who has Down Syndrome whom is also in the process of being adopted. All of these children have been fostered by us. we want 1 more and that'll complete the family.
If you are thinking of becomming a foster parent the best agency is The Children's Aid Society.
Only you can know how much you can handle! And no your not NUTS! Am I? lol
It's great that you want to help less fotunte children!
First of all, standing ovation to you for accomplishing what you have in your life! You took lemons and turned them into lemonaide! If only so many others could learn by you. You are certainly an inspiration to many.
I would say that as long as you are finantually stable and can take onn the responsibility of another child, by all means, go for it. You also need to be emotionally stable...not saying you're nuts, lol...just saying that, as you put it, you have a lot on your plate...you don't want to overwhelm yourself or take away from your own kids. You may want to push this off just for a while until you can bank some more cash for a pillow in case you need to fall back on something. You can speak with the councilors through your child welfare system and see what they suggest.
Good luck in what ever decision you make.
M.
Hi K....How r u...Hope all is good...I too am a mom of 3...And did want to become a foster parent...I just don't have the space...But i would love too...So as for me I would say...go for it...Best of luck to u if u do...
I just wanted to say that I think that you have a golden heart! It's so great that you want to give back to a child who is going through what you went through. I'm not sure if they let single parents be foster parents (although I can't see why not...). But if they do, go for it! You are going to make some unlucky child out there feel truly luck - probably for the first time in their life!
I would love to do foster care too! Good luck with it!
Hi K.,
I am not sure if single moms can be foster parents or not.I feel for what you went through and how you have made your life better for you and your children.
If being a foster home does not work out for you would you consider being a mentor for a foster child? You understand better than anyone the difficuties they face and are a wonderful example how they can over come obstacles and make postive choices.
I wish you and your family the best.Let me know if foster care works out for you.
K.,
You seem like you know what you want and if this is what you want to do then go for it! You don't have anyone holding you back or trying to sway your decisions. Take this opportunity to enrich your own kids lives, yours and one lucky child.
Good luck and keep us updated on your decision!
T.
I don't have any experience personally... but I have a friend who works in a group home and throughout his career has dealt w/a lot of jobs dealing w/foster care... and when I was considering taking in a foster child he told me that people who have come from foster care situations are the ideal people to take in foster kids b/c no one else can every really relate. I would love to take in foster children myself except for two things 1... if things work out w/their parents (which the ultimate goal is to get the parents at a place where they can care for their own children) and I had to give a child that I had fallen in love w/back, I'd be devastated. The second issue is that when I was growing up some of the kids I knew in foster care had a lot of psychological issues from dealing w/such a hectic childhood... and some of those kids were violent. So my concern now is the safety of the child I currently have. However, I think if you can emotionally and financially handle taking in another child, and it won't disrupt the lives of the children you currently have… then go for it.
I think it's a wonderful idea, wish I could do it, too! You don't have to be rich! The fact that you've experienced as much as you have makes you a strong, understaring, kind person. Exactly what a child needing placement NEEDS. I think you'de make a fantastic foster parent, that's a beautiful, selfless thing to do for a child in need. More power to ya, God Bless.
hello there although becomming a foster parent has very many rewards you must keep your own childrens feelings in tact take this from me my parents got into foster care when I was about 7 or 8 years old I personally felt stripped of the childhood I felt like I should have had with my parents. Kids and newborns where constantly comming and going from my home strangers doing house inspections unscheduled. Dont get me wrong anyone who is strong enough to take care of a child in need is at the top of my list just dont forget to remember your own kids.
Hello K. my name is W. and I am a mother of one, but a aunt of over twenty. I respect were your heart and mind is going. If you believe in your soul that this is the correct thing to do for another human being, please go with your heart. Althought I have never been in forster care, six of my nieces and nephews have. Thank god they went to kin ship. But it was a horrible experience, For them and me, not being able to find them for a while. You have been there and you do know what it's like. If you can save a child please do. I have thought about this topic myself. But right now my house is full.. Please write back when you have made your decision. I whould like to know how everything works out. And thanks for sharing your story. You are a good insparation for others. Know matter what happens thank god and keep your head up.
K., this is my first post since I joined the mom's group last week. I don't believe there are rules against single foster parents. If you've shown that you have a stable family, supports etc that you probably would be considered. Only way to find out is to call DCF and ask. A Social Worker would be happy to answer any questions you might have.
In your search bar type in the following:
Department of Children and families CT
It will bring you to their website. Lots of links to view. Many rules and regulations to go through such as every member of your household has to have a physical. Water tested, check for lead paint,back ground check etc. Once these things are taken care of then you would be all set.
It's a worth while investment of your time. I know that foster parents are hard to find. If your capable of doing it, your children don't mind a stranger coming to live with you and then have to leave maybe days or months later, your family supports you, then GO FOR IT.
D.
As far as i know they don't let single parents become foster parents.Me well i think they sometimes can put kids in care without there being a good reason. I should know my kids got put in foster care because we asked for help getting son some help.. just getting youngest 2 back Friday. Foster parenting you have to be careful not to become too attached.Good Luck
Hello My name is M. As I understand you don't have to be married to become a foster parent, as long as you have a home large enough to accomodate the children and have a decent income there should be no problem. I am very happy to hear about your choice of becoming a foster parent, there are many children in the system in need of foster homes. Hope everything works out as plan and please let me know how it works out Good Luck and God Bless you.
M. A
