Car Seat Battles

M.,

My son is almost 11 months and from the very beginning he has always hated the car seat. I just purchased his convertible seat and cannot wait to turn him around, hoping that does the trick. I would definetly not swat her as some have suggested. At 11 months old, she is too young to understand what that means. When my son acts up in his car seat. I just try to talk him down, I know he doesn't really understand but I talk to him like he does. I try not to show him frustration or anxiety. Do either of you sit in the backseat with her? Whenever I go somewhere with my husband, i sit in the backseat with my son and we just play with all his toys. When I am by myself, I sing to him or keep some toys in the front seat, and hand them to him as he runs out! Hopefully, she will grow out of this soon. Good luck!
S.

Well, others may or may not agree- but- a good swat -followed by NO!- then quikly putting her in her car seat- should be helpful in getting the message across. You have to break her will. She is likely to go thru this phase getting more defiant if you don't. You have to be the one in charge. Just stick to it consistently and she'll soon be able to ride like she should. Safe. Good luck.

I agree with Judy...we have 9 kids,8-24. If she is acting out like this, it is time to start with a swat for direct disobedience. After you follow Judy's advice, quickly try to distract her. My oldest hated the carseat, too. She did best when we sang, she grew up to play two instruments:)Maybe playing a cd would help. Believe it or not, this shall pass. but be firm and consistant or it will pass onto more difficult behavior.

sorry this response is so delayed, but yes, toys are awesome. Just make sure that they're super favorite toys - and they stay in the car. She can only have them when in the car. Also, do you have one of those mirrors that allow you to see her while driving? Babies love those.

If you already use toys, make sure to swap them out for other toys frequently enough that she isn't bored with what she's got already.

You can hang them from the clothes hanger hook using those plastic chain links that you can find at Target or probably Wal-Mart for like $4. They're the bomb :) This way, she can't toss them when distracted or mad.

Oh, our daughter loves this fabric book that her grandmother got her for her 1st birthday.

For the tantrums in general, there's some excellent advice in Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey, and also the Sears Discipline Book. A night's reading will save you years of frustration!! I've been loving these two books, really, don't know what I'd do without 'em. Your library should have them, or there's always amazon.com

Both my girls were the same way. The only thing that fixed it was once they were front facing they didn't mind the carseat most of the time. Other than that I found that ignoring the tantrum was the only thing that worked. It is a rough stage but will end eventually, although maybe not as soon as you'd like! :)

I love books by John Rosemond. His book "Making the 'Terrible' Twos Terrific!" has been very helpful with my eldest (who is now 24 months). Rosemond mentions something in that book about dealing with trouble getting a Two into a car seat, which may or may not be useful in your particular situation. I also just found on Amazon.com that he has a DVD called "Parenting the Strong-Willed Child" which I have not seen, but which might be interesting to check out. Rosemond is a very common-sense guy who is very reassuring as to our ability as average, everyday parents to successfully raise our children with a minimum of "professional" intervention. :)

A couple things come to mind. I have six kids from 31 to 7 yrs. Some were better that others. I always made sure they were dry, had a cup or bottle, and a few toys. The toys should be soft so they won't get hurt or hurt anyone else if they throw them. I have also foung toys that i can hook to the chair eather in front or to the side where the arm pulls down. Depending on the type of chair. This might take some time but don't give up or in It's better to have a child unhappy than hurt.