Biting - Center Tuftonboro, NH

Hi P. - Unless there are other underlying issues, this is a relatively simple fix.

Remember - for the first few years, especially at 1 and 2, children can only comprehend as many words as their age.

So - all you need to do is this: Step in immediately. Loud and clear, very authoritative, say, "NO BITING". Then remove your child from the situation. Step away from him and don't give him any more attention OR WORDS.

Period. Severe enough for him (her?), nothing too drastic or abusive.

Try it. It will work because: 1) they hate to displease you, and 2) they hate to be removed.

Next, when he reacts more appropriately next time, go over, kind of casually, but deliberately, and give him big praise! Nice Job! Good boy! Something like that. And step out.

But remember, 2 words. More than 2 gets lost... And he has no idea the meaning of "that hurts and we don't hurt our friends" Who cares about all that right now? This is about appropriate behavior and physical violence is never acceptable.

Period.

One thing to add to what the others have said is to not give it attention. By that I mean when he bites he may also be doing it for your or your children's attention so I would say to stop the biting, but don't pay lots of attention to it (severe discipline) because he could associate biting with getting Mommy's attention. Instead model what he should do (sign, tap you on the shoulder, etc) and instantly reward that positive behavior. In this way you are diminishing any kind or reward for the biting (Mommy's attention) and at the same time modeling what he should do instead and rewarding that behavior. Does that make sense to you? I know it sounds confusing.

I don't really have any advice because neither one of my boys ever bit. However when I was younger a little boy I babysat for used to bite when he got frustrated so his parents started to use sign language w/ him to help address his needs and the biting seemed decrease. If he hasnt developed enough vocabulary to tell his siblings to stop doing something or communicate his needs to them maybe that is something to look into. Babies/toddlers pick up sign language faster than verbal and studies that have been done lately seem to show that babies that learn sign language tend to have better langauge skills later on in life than those that don't. It might be worth a try if it helps him to get his needs across maybe he won't get frustrated to the point of bitting.

Toddlers often bite when they are frustrated, especially if they do not have the language skills to communicate what their wants and needs are. At the school where I work we model language for toddlers, saying ourselves all the the things that are appropriate in a situation, "I'm using that toy". "I want that", "I don't like that" etc.

But that sometimes doesn't help just because the child hasn't developed the skills yet to vocalize their needs. So we also teach signing. Usually we start in the infant room as a routine thing, teaching signs for eat and more and milk... but in the toddler room we expand it, please (as a way of generally asking for anything that's pointed too), hurt, diaper (as in "I need one")

There are many great websites that can help you teach about signing. Since your child is older, I would just stick to three or four that will help alleviate the problems at hand. So in other words, if he's frustrated about his siblings poking him, teach him how to sign "stop" or "no". Remember always to model language and he'll slowly begin to use words instead of teeth.

As for the actual biting, when he does it, do not pay him or the bite any attention. Lift him away from the situation, then walk off with the victim a few feet away and attend only to them. He'll get the message pretty fast that there is no attention (negative or otherwise) to gain by this.

Hope that helps, good luck!

I would go with the "No Biting!" when you see it. BUT, how about keeping a closer eye on the other two older sons. They are probably teasing the 19 month old, so it's not even the youngest one's fault. He is probably just trying to defend himself against his older brothers. Does he bite others outside of the family? Something to think about...