My Little Biter - Jacksonville,FL

I've heard that the reason children do that is b/c they are frustrated and feel like you aren't understanding the problem. They are at an age where they don't fully grasp the language, not in full sentences anyway, and all the words adults use. The best way to handle that is to repeat what they are saying, so they know you understand, and just verbalize what it is they want until the tantrum begins to calm down and then tell them no and then, like another mom said, redirect them.

R.....Boy oh Boy...yea this is the stage that the little ones go through that! it is just something that they go through. but you are the MOM and he is the SON....show him whose boss!!!! when he starts throwing his temper you turn him away from you and hold him as still as possible or put him in his highchair or another good thing is to have a extra carseat to strap him in when he does this and talk to him once he calms down. and explain to him that everytime he does this he will be put there but you ahve to be consistant!!!! and FIRM.
I hope this helps ~M.

Your actions absolutely are reinforcing to your son that those reactions are appropriate ways to handle his anger. While timeouts are really not terribly effective with toddlers under 3, I have had success with limited ones with my daughter (15 months). I also am very strong in saying, "no hitting", "no biting" etc. while holding her hand so that she is unable to hit me again at the time. Distraction is one of the best tools you have to work with, so you have to work with that. I read Positive Discipline for 1-3 year olds but don't have it in front of me to tell you who wrote it. I also recommend anything by John Rosemond. The consequences have got to be big enough to get his attention, whatever that means (no favorite toys, no favorite video, no cookies, whatever it is). I wish you tons of strength in overcoming this, but you can do it. Remember to be the adult and the positive role model you want your son to emulate when he grows up! That always keeps me grounded.

DEFINITELY don't bite back... it will only make the behavior worse. Check out this link: http://www.babycenter.com/expert/toddler/toddlerbehavior/...
Good luck!

My son did sort of the same thing to me. In fact, he occasionally hit me when he would get mad at someone else! He used to bite me and hit but he's really grown out of it. He's 23 months now and he grew out of it a while ago.

From what I've read it's just a matter of communication. He is getting frustrated because he can't communicate with you for what he wants/needs. My only advice is to be patient with him and when he does hurt you, to calmly try to explain that hurtng you isn't nice and try to talk to him about what it is that he wants.

I also tried a little bit of time out. He hated it but it was the only thing that made him mad. Yelling at him didn't affect him at all. I only put him in his room for 1 min with the door shut. He cried and then I would go in and calm him down and explain why I put him in there. I don't claim that worked but I did try it.

In time he will just stop. Good luck, C.

My son isn't a big biter, but a hitter. It has gotten better now that he is 2 and can talk more. people keep telling me about the "terrible two's", but so far, 14-20 months was the worst for us! Your son is doing it out of frustration and trying what the other mom's advised all sounds good. However, not one thing completely worked for me. He had to grow up a little more and that was the only real fix. My main tactic, is to take away the toy he is hitting with and saying "if you hit, your bat goes bye bye". If he is hitting or biting me, same thing but "momma goes bye bye and will not play with you until you stop". He then throws a tantrum and I tell him that he is frustrated and I understand that. I sit with him and let him work through the tantrum. I found that the only way the crying fit ends is for him to get through it himself, but I feel better about it by sitting with him. When I can see that it is fading, I offer to do something with him that I know he loves, like go for a walk, play outside, get some chocolate milk...
I would try just about anything except hitting and bitting back! It is just showing him that when mom gets frustrated and upset, she hits and bites too! Hang in there for a few more months and things will get better. Children are all about phases!!

R.,
my son just turned a year old and he is doing the exact same thing. I look like a battered woman. I tried everything you did too and it does not seem to help. the doctor told me he is frustrated b/c he can not tell me what he wants. I have tried going down a list to see if he is hungry thirsty or wants me to play with him.I have noticed that when I took away some of his toys and only put out a few that he did better. I think he gets overwhelmed on which to to play with. If you get any good suggestions let me know.

I'm sorry you are going through this. IMO, I think it is great to bite him back at least once so he knows what it feels like and that it hurts. I think that whatever you decide to do, be it time out...especially in his crib JUST BE CONSISTENT! That's the most important thing! He'll get the point! You are the mom and the boss, he isn't. They sure do like to test you!

Hope it gets better soon!
Take care,
N.

I once heard that this kind of behavior is out of the need for attention. I do not know if that is true but is worth a shot. My first pediatrician taught me the wonderful tool of redirection. When your child starts with any unseemly behavior, look at him seriously and tell me that what he is going is not acceptable; in language that he is going to understand. Then redirect his attention to a positive activity like sitting quietly as you read a story (preferably one with lots of pictures). I know how hard this kind of action is hard for the parent as well as the child at first. It might seem like they are not responding for the first week, but gradually it gets better. I hope this helps. If not, talk to your pediatrician, maybe they will have some other suggestions. Best of luck.

Thank goodness- this too shall pass. Normal annoying behaviors arise as children develop. Unfortunately- biting is one of those behaviors that starts to emerge between 12-18 months of age.

Stopping and Preventing Biting Behavior in Your Toddler
Do you have a biter on your hands? Biting is among the most bothersome and embarrassing kid behaviors. I remember the horror the first time I saw one of child in our playgroup I quickly learned that biting is usually temporary, and much more common than I had thought. The other moms and I read up on biting behavior, and shared what we'd learned with one another. We learned that infants and toddlers often bite to relieve teething or gum soreness, or think it's just a game. Preschoolers typically bite because they haven't yet developed the coping skills to deal with stress appropriately or the verbal skills to express their needs. Whatever the reason, we knew that this behavior is clearly upsetting to all involved. And has been known to continue as kids get older if not dealt with. Our job was to nip this behavior before it becomes a habit.

Here are a few Mommy Secrets and steps you can take to help you handle this annoying (but common) behavior:
Step 1. Confront the Biter A.S.A.P.
Step in the very minute your child bites and call it what it is: "That's biting!" Then in a very stern voice say: "You may not bite people!" Firmly express your disapproval, and quickly remove your child from the situation. Remember Mom: No matter what you hear from other parents, do not bite your kid back! It is not helpful, and in fact, you're only sending him the messages that kids can't bite, but adults can.

Step 2. Comfort the Victim and Boost Empathy
Kids always need to know that biting hurts! So in the presence of your kid focus your concern on the victim. "I'm so sorry! That must hurt. What can I do to help?" Doing so shows your child not only that his action caused pain but also how to convey sympathy. If possible, find a way to help your child to make amends. He might offer the victim a Kleenex or band-aid, draw a picture to apologize, say he's sorry, or give the other child a toy. Do also apologize to the child's parents on the spot or with a phone call. (Word to the wise: I learned the hard way that it is far better that I make the call then having the parent hear the story from someone else).

Step 3. Teach a New Behavior to Replace the Biting
If your toddler is teething, she's probably biting because of sore gums. In that case, offer something appropriate to bite on: such as a frozen juice bar, a hard plastic teething ring, or toy to relieve the discomfort.

Kids often bite because they haven't developed the verbal skills to communicate their needs or frustrations. Identify what skill your child lacks, and then teach a more appropriate way to respond that will replace the urge to bite. Practice the new skill together, until he can successfully use it on his own. One youngster bit because he didn't know how to say he wanted a turn. Once his dad recognized the problem, he taught his son to say: "It's your turn, then it's my turn." The biting quickly stopped.

If your child has trouble verbalizing feelings or needs, teach him to say: "I'm getting mad." Or: "I want to play." Remember to let him know how proud you are when he uses good control.

Step 4. Anticipate Biting Behavior as the Best Prevention
If your child has developed a pattern of biting, then supervise those play times closely. You can then immediately step in and stop your biter before it happens. Put your hand gently over his mouth firmly saying: "You may not bite. Use your words to tell what you need." Then show how: "I want a turn." Sometimes you can distract your child from the situation: "Would you like to play with the clay or blocks?" You may have step in a few times before the biting is stopped, so watch closely then intervene pronto.

The most important part of this Mommy Secret to learn is that kids usually bite because they lack the ability to handle their frustrations. It's up to us to help find better ways to get their point across.

http://babyparenting.about.com/od/discipline/a/stopbiting...

Have you read The Happiest Toddler on the Block? It sounds silly...but on the advice of the book I growled at Addie the first time she tried to bite me. She has tried maybe 5 times since but growling works...
I HIGHLY recommend reading the book.

Hey, R.

I would suggest putting him in time out every time. My son use to bite me and others i like you tried popping and bitting back. I also felt it encourged him more so i started putting him behind for a minute or so if he was being really mean or hateful i would put him in his crib just long enough so he new mommy meant what she said! That seem to work even now if he startes to get mad he sits in time out and then he is better every one needs a break even toddlers. Hope i help good luck!

S. R