Being Called 'Mom' by a Receptionist

Don't take offense where none was intended! Are they trying to offend you by calling you mom? Doubtful. I waste my energy on the big stuff. I think if they called out to you and said "a**hole, I need you to fill this out", now THAT would be something to get upset over.

I find this very interesting, I never would have imagined this would irritate someone, huh?
I worked in a pediatricians office before and its more like a compliment, I dont know how to explain it but its a pediatricians office and "mom" is a special thing there, just like they call most babies, "baby girl" or "baby boy" when they are born. They mean to compliment you!

Ok- i work at a peds office so I do this all the time. Most of the time we have the parents sign in their kids' name at the front desk and not the parents name, so we don't know what the parents names are and it's just easier to say "mom" than it is to go searching through the entire chart for the parents name. Trust me, we don't have time to do that! And half of the time, the mom doesn't have the same last name as their kid, so it makes things confusing. Then you get siblings with 2 different last names so you don't know which last name to use. That's why we do it. It's not that we don't have manners or are being rude, it's just because it's easier and it offends less people than saying "hey you".

I'm sorry, but I kind of find this petty. No offense.
I worked for a pediatric specialist. When they refer to you as mom....they aren't being disrespectful. You are "Mom" to the child you toted in there, aren't you?
Would you be happier if they said, "Hey Whizzy, what's the shiznitt?"
Seriously, you have no idea how many calls and appointments are fielded by receptionists for kid appointments.
If you went for your annual pap smear and they didn't know your name, that might be different.
But a receptionist referring to you as mom signing in at an appointment for your kid?
Please tell me this is the worst thing that happened to you yesterday. Or even the last week.

It's a common child-medicine thing. The admin people have your child's chart in front of them, but that doesn't have your name all over it. Rather than commit a MAJOR faux pas and call you by (say an abusive ex-hubby's, or merely a "normal" ex-hubby, or foster child's, or stepchild's) last name, the call you ***by your relationship to the child***. Whether that be mum, dad, grandmum, auntie, etc. Aka, they're trying to be polite.

Just to note: People who *Insist* on upbraiding, or publicly reprimanding someone who is caring for children and merely trying to be as polite as possible... do not get respected. They get the "okay so we now have to 'handle' this verbally abusive person... poor kids growing up with someone who teaches them that it's okay to be rude to strangers/caregivers". If it is a big deal to you, DO make sure you say so when you're checking in that you'd like a note on the front of the chart that says to call you "_________" BEFORE anyone has a chance to call you anything else if at all possible, or merely a correction... "Oh call me Mrs. Padwowski" or "Oh, call me Shirley".

It never occured to me to be upset by this. I am big on manners and I don't think that this is rude or disrespectful at all. I would much rather be called mom than ma'am, just because that sounds old to me. I have known a lot of people that get pretty upset over names and titles being messed up and I don't really understand that either. If someone can't pronounce Smith that is one thing, but when you have an odd spelling or more syllables in your name than my whole family put together, it is silly to expect everyone to know how to say your name. I think Mom is a pretty safe compromise for most people who get tired of getting flak for messing up names or not knowing what you would like to be called. Everyone has a different preference, and as long as they aren't saying it disrespectfully, I wouldn't take it that way, whatever way they decide to address me. And my husband gets called Dad as well.

It's pretty common to be called "mom" or "dad" by other adults in front of your kids, but there are worse things to worry about and get offended by in this world. I'd just let this one slide.

To me being called "mom" by a Dr.'s office receptionist with one or more of your children present, filling out paper work is not nearly as bad as being called "hon" by your waitress while eating at a restaurant. The receptionist may have butchered so many last names that her boss may have told her this is how they want their patients addressed as many people will become offended by the wrong name pronunciation as well. If this was offensive to you...you could have addressed the issue with her while you were there in the office by politely stating you would prefer being called by your first name or by Mrs. ______
The next time you call in for an appointment ask the receptionist to note your account as how you would like to be addressed for future reference, I am sure that your wishes will be granted.

if you are there for the child they don't know and don't care about your name LOL. you are there for your child so i'd worry more if they said "kid" to your child.

I don't mind being called "mom" by receptionists or anyone else I interact with when the nature of our relationship is through my child.

It would be more courteous to address you by your name. However, this could pose a problem for the pediatrician's office. It's the child's name that is written down in the book, they know that she is "Kayleigh" but they don't know that you are "Susan." But they should call me Mrs Jones, you say. That opens a whole new can of worms. Are you married to your child's father? You may be Mrs. Jones, but there would be many other moms who were never married to their child's dad, who are divorced or simply kept their family name when they married, and the office doesn't know that you're Ms. Smith rather than Mrs. Jones. Perhaps you are divorced from your child's father and have remarried, the office doesn't know that you are now Mrs. Brown even though your child is Kayleigh Jones. It would be easy if they could count on every mom being Mrs. Childslastname, but that's not the case nowadays.

I don't think anything of it. You are the mom, filling out their paperwork! Mom, Mrs, ma'am, it's all who you are, and I don't think it matters. I'd personally rather be called mom than ma'am any day! That's what your child calls you and since your child was right there I think it was used appropriately.

A. if this really bothers you, you are a lucky woman. I have no idea why it bothers you, but when you go to the doctor with an appointment for your child that will be the norm unless you tell them differently. You could say to the nurse or clerk that you would rather be called by you name and please make a note of it on the records. I think it is just what people do, call you mom because you are mom to the child that is being seen.

Other than that consider your self lucky to not have anything going on in your life that little things like this have risen to the point where you are asking about it. If your child was being seen for cancer or some other life threatening problem, I don't think you would even notice what she called you.

M. in Boise, Id

never accured to me that anyone would be offended by this. 1st of all if this is your childs first visit to that office they likely do not know your first or even last name. Not all children have their mothers last name. They are just telling you that as your childs mom- you need to answer this for your child.
The secretary at my childrens school always says "hey girl" to me when I call and tell her who I am or walk in the office, would you find that offensive as well since I obviously am not a girl nor am I her girl friend where that would be "appropriate" and she obviously knows my name (even if not my voice over the phone) and knows who I am when I walk in and what children belong to me.
Yes dads get this too but most often it is mom who is taking care of this kind of thing.
And believe it or not.... you will be known mostly as (insert your childs name here)'s mom for quite some time. I am a mother of 3 myself and still my mom is "J.'s mom" to most people and just "mom" to my close friends I grew up with. Even parents of your kids friends are going to call you mom. So get used to it. It is not such a bad title is it?

It probably wasn't said as your name, rather, your title. I consider it a compliment. "Mom" means so many things...decorator, chef, taxi driver, etiquette coach, and on and on. I wear my mom title produly. :)

This made me laugh. My mom is the same way and it drives me crazy when she takes offense. I wouldn't sweat it, its a lot better than hey you. I'm betting there was no intent to offend. If you think about other people hate being called Mrs or ma'am. When you work with people you do your best to be respectful when addressing them, I am sure the receptionist meant no offense. And yes, I have heard dads being referred to as dad. We all have our pet peeves. As with kids pick your battles, and try not to sweat it.

I don't mind that at all. I do mind "mam" I do not get mad over it just bothers me. I like to be called by my first name.

I think that is kinda de-personalizing too. And yes, have heard my husband called "dad" by random providers.

But ya know what's worse? When husband and wife start calling each other "mom" and "dad". Yeesh = )

Although, not necessarily appropriate, it's not the worst thing that could happen... I think the receptionist was trying to be friendly. I wouldn't get too uptight about it .. best to not sweat the small stuff....

Yes, they call men dad all of the time too.

If this is the worst thing to happen to you you are lucky, their are many women who would love to be called mom and will never have the opportunity.

I am proud to be a mom and recognized as my childs mother I also know that as a PTA President at 2 different schools it was so hard to remember everybodiy's names hundrends and hundreds of parents, stepparents, teachers, staff and all of their children too. And then the next year when the new crop came in to learn their names.. . .I have said "Excuse me Greg's mom, What is your name again?" it is hard. Would you rather be called mam?

yes, dads get called 'dad' too by receptionists at doctors offices. it doesn't bother me, in fact, i prefer it to having my name butchered a few times before i have to speak up.
i really hate m'am or ma'm i hate that one. mrs or ms is fine but the first one, is a no go for me.

I get called Mom all the time by my kids, their friends and Dr's. I have no problem with being called Mom. Do you know how many people who do anything to be a Mom? Be Proud!

I am going to apologize to you then. I work at a grocery store in the bakery and we always give out free cookies to all the kids and I always ask the parents "Mom, Dad would you like a cookie too"?

It never occurred to me that someone would be offended by this....

Whizzy, I am sorry I called you Mom, I know you are not my mother! :)

Funny rant!

I just gotta give my two cents.
I don't like being called mom either.
However, my ENTIRE childhood, everyone called my dad H.'s Dad, rather than by his name. He says it never bothered him, not once.
I think it has to be a personal choice and preference.

As someone who has worked in the doctor's office, I used "Mom" and "Dad" quite often...and here is why...

First, often when a child comes in to the office for the first time (or even subsequent times), we often do not have the parent's first name down yet...and unless you are the primary on the insurance (which I am not for my family either, but you will never see my hubby with me at the MD office), they may never have my/your first name!

Second (and in response to just using Mrs/Ms and the last name), in today's day and age, so often the kid's last name is NOT mom's last name and I got far too many upset looks and comments from calling a mom (or step-mom), Mrs. Such-an-such, and she having to say, oh no...that's not my last name. I got far fewer (if any) looks from saying "Okay, Mom, need you to fill this out".

Third, (and on a personal note) I am one of those proud people who have lots of "moms" in my life! I have been blessed to have a biological mom, a wonderful step-mom, several "mom" figures throughout college, etc....and I am even called "mom" by people who are not my kids (one is by a teen in our youth group who often comes to my house to play video games with my hubby and another is a guy I knew in college who just came over to my and my hubby's house lots for food, care, just to talk...etc...and funny thing is, he's 4 months OLDER than me!!! But I love it...feel like I have earned the title....and felt like all those other "moms" in my life have earned their title too!!! I just know in my heart though, that the most important time I hear "mom" is out of the mouth of my kiddos!

Anyway, you had lots of posts, but thought I would post my reasoning to help you see the other side of the coin!!! :-)

S.

"big smile" Do you mean Mrs. Smith? Yes, that is me....
My mother always said to just be polite. I have heard people go off when their names are mispronounced too. I am sure it is a lose, lose situation for secretaries at times.
And yes, with 8 kids I have heard my husband called "dad" by people other than our family.

I am guilty of this and glad you posted because I can now see how many people are frustrated by this.

When photographing families, my time is often booked as short as possible to save money. At times I may have 60 people in front of me (possibly 5 - 6 families) and it is so hard for me to know everyones name. I just don't have the time to take names and then every time I need someone's name to go pick up a clipboard and call the correct name, which I could still miss.

I would love to see some suggestions other than your given name. It seems no matter what people are upset with one thing or another.

Hi Whizzy - never really thought about that but now that you bring it up, it does rub me the wrong way a little at times. There are occasions when I dont mind - we were at the ER and the nurse called me mom but it was a situation where I didnt expect her to know my name and she needed to give me instructions quickly.

It's the times where they should now my name that it bugs me like at the dentist or my pediatrician. In those cases all I (nicely) said is "please, call me C."

Yes it happens and don't worry about it. These people, receptionist, nurses, etc. see many patients a day. So Mom or Dad is an easy way to say "I need Mom over here or I need Dad over here". After all, those are our titles! I have even heard a Priest to say I will need Mom and Dad over here. I don't believe that it is said with any disrespect.

Now for the person who mentioned this was done when her son was hospitalized, I think the nurses as part as their care should have learned your name - that annoys me!

And I don't know if your children/child is school age, but I have also been called by my childrens' name because that is what other parents can remember...........so you get Tami's mom or Tom's mom.

It's really hard for receptionists and such now. Some women hate to be called Mrs. or ma'am and will throw a fit over that -some single moms, and women who have chosen to not take their husband's name; or if their last name is different from the child's (my mom remaried but people were always calling her Mrs. [my last name] which wasn't her name). And some women think ma'am is for old women. Some people prefer that you use their first name, but others feel that too personal or inappropriate. Our society no longer has a set of rules about what is appropriate (in other cultures, there are certain societal standards, ie in Spanish, Senora can refer to any mature woman, not just a married one, but we don't have that). So I would guess that by saying "mom" the receptionist is going with what she thought was safe. I've been in that same position as a kindergarten teacher (the mom has never had interaction with the school before so we don't know what to call her)

I would just suggest that if it bothers you, tell them what you would like to be called. And if it's really an issue, have them write it at the front of your child's chart. We can't read minds.

I think mostly people say it to moms, but I have heard someone call my hubbie dad a few times. this does not bother me...but if it bothers you then you could just nicely tell them what you name is....I actually hate being called ma'am, it makes me feel so old I am 30 but not too old yet. lol

Nope you are not the only one. I refuse to respond. My name is not Mom unless my child is saying it. SO, I simply act like I can't hear them and they eventually say something else or come over to me thinking I am "hearing impaired". When they do I say "Oh, I guess I didn't hear you call my NAME! Oops!" I get some raised eyebrows but I get respect too. As for being called "Alicia's Mom", I expect that from the kids at school especially. Her dad and I are both known as "our kids' parents" at school as we are very involved in field trips and treat bringing when party events come up. But that's kids. I find it much easier when the teacher introduces herself/himself as "Mr or Mrs so and so, "and I'm Alicia's teacher for this class. I know that most of them will never remember my name. But when my name is on a chart right in front of them I better hear it at least once. I love being a mom but I am other things besides a mom and frankly when I am at an appointment with my kids and my name is right there..they better be able to read my name off the chart or perhaps their skills are better used else where. Being able to acknowledge the person as an individual is more respectful. I was taught manners are everything when it come to customer service. It's just bad manners in a place of business (like a doctor's office..where you pay for a service) they better at least try to get my name right!

I have heard that before as well and I have heard it being applied to dad. I cannot say it bothers me though. Everyone has their ways and some bothers others differntly. I dislike nicnames for your husband/wife/boyfirend/girlfriend (such as honey,babe), yet for children it is totally fine for me. I think all those things come naturally for people including the mom/dad thing. Since it is more common coming from the medical field they may say that so the child understands who they are referring to. Just like we refer to oursleves as mommy and daddy when talking to our child. ("come give mommy a hug"...talking kind of in the third person)

LOL I would be bugged too! My hubby and I know a couple that call eachother "Mom" and "Dad" even when their child isn't around... we think that is WEIRD!

I love it when people call me "mom". I'm honored... I know it makes no sense, but it affirms my doubts about whether I'm a "mom" type (I'm so NOT a natural born-to-be-a-mom Mom)...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh at life!! I have people do this to me a lot. Smiling does not mean that you agree, it just means that you are not giving the other person the satisfaction of making you pissed off. I have heard a man called "dad" too.

I think they are trained to do. i son;t think they mean any harm. But i understand how you feel. My names is spelled C.( most pronounce it caress) but it is pronounced CarEESE! long e's. lol don't let it bother you.

I'm with you, that is one of my pet peeves too. I think it's just as bad when someone especially when they are younger than than me, calls me "hon" or "sweetie" or "dear." My husband thinks it's great when they call him, "dad," because he waited so long to be a dad.

My husband gets called "dad", especially at doc visits.

Wow.... Um..... I am honord to be called mom. It's a title I'm happy to have.
My husband calls me momma when he's asking for me to do something for our child. WHen I was pushing our first child out, the Dr.'s, nurses, and live studio audiance called me mom, it was exciting. When we got his one year old pictures taken, the photographer called me mom.
Now is it the fact that this person just "assumes" that you are this childs mother and you rather be beat over the head with a gallon of paint, or does hear "mom" in general make your skin crawl?
I'm guessing it's the who the child is and not the title at all.

Would never cross my mind to be annoyed by that! It's not like they're saying "hey mom" in the same way as your kid, as a name. It's the title they're referring to: if you were going to YOUR appointment at YOUR doctor, they'd call you by name, but when at the pediatrician and referring to "the" mom, they very often say that. You might be taking it out of context? I just can't imagine getting annoyed at such an important title. As a matter of fact, the first couple times I took my first baby to the doctor, I was so proud when called "mom". Made me smile!

Random people call me mom! My friends family and even my husband! He gets called dad all the time at work. We have basicly gotten so used to it that I almost slip up and introduce myself as mom! It doesn't bother our family bc I have been called mom by my friends and nephews since I was 10! However if it bothers you then say something, my point is we get it all the time both me and my husband!

They call you "M." because you're a mother!

LOL, that really gets to me too. When my son was hospitalized the nurses called me "mom" too. I guess it's just their way of not dealing with the uncertainty of whether or not you and your child share the same last name. Still dislike it, though. And, yes, they did call his father "dad".

I'm not crazy about it either but people do not go by rules and etiquette anymore. I long for the days! :) It's hard to make a point with someone over this issue if they don't understand all the other issues as well. "Mom" should have taught them better! Arrrggh!

M.

I usually just try to remember the intention and the situation. This is a little "lazy" in my view, but certainly not intentionally rude, so I let it go.

I have had this happen for me and for my husband. If it really bugs you just tell them. My guess is they are using it as a respect or sort of right to passage. You have earned the title so they use it. I don't disagree with you though, it is a bit odd.

If I were you I would just let it go.

Good luck!

I've never thought about it that much, but 'yes' it does bug me a little when they do that. I think it's because they are lazy and don't want to think about what your name really is - they can do it with all the moms that come in. Or, perhaps some of them think it's 'cute'.

Oh, and I don't think it would bug me if it came from some complete stranger in a store or whatever (like the cookie person response) - just when they truly do know your name, but don't use it.

This drives me nuts, too. I actually stopped taking my kids to a dentist who kept doing that. This is after I spoke up and told him I wasn't old enough to be his mom (in a NICE way). He kept doing it.
I would suggest speaking up and just telling them your name. Or saying,"Hi! I don't know your name? Mine is .......".

Just hope they have got the child's name right because otherwise your child could get spuriously worked up for leukemia. *Your* name is really totally unimportant as long as your health insurance is good and your credit card runs through. Just sign it "Mom".

Wow, never thought this was a hot button issue! I thought it was a really funny post since I've had the same thought cross my mind. Maybe next time you can be like, "here is your questionnaire, secretary" All kidding aside, I understand why it is easier for them to say "mom" or "dad" - but I take time to have my son call adults by "miss" or "mr." and then their first name to be polite - I'll take ma'am or Mrs. or even Ms. any day!