Baby Being Nursed by Someone OTHER than the Mother.

If it were someone I knew and cared about and they needed the help, I'd probably say yes. If I were sick and knew someone who would be willing, that I knew and trusted, I'd say yes. If it were a long term thing, I'd probably prefer to have the breastmilk donated, because of the bonding thing.

The story of doing it without permission is creepy. That's just wrong.

EDIT: SL's story made me tear up - I actually think that would be an awesome idea for hospitals to do. Imagine the comfort that baby felt cause I can imagine the love those moms were giving off :)

I wouldn't feel comfortable but know as others have pointed out, this was commonly done in yesteryear. Today, you can donate expressed breastmilk for nutrition/medical reasons. I looked into doing this when my daughter was a baby (9 years ago) but it just wasn't feasible. The person donating had to pay to have the needed medical testing done and then I would have to drive a considerable distance to drop it off. Hopefully this has changed.

My older sister was watching my other sisters son who was being bf at the time. My older sister had her own baby the same age who was also bf. Well, my one sister is a bit irresponsible and didn't come back for a long time to get her son and my older sister was left with a baby needing to be fed so she took care of it. Now if I were to walk in on someone feeding my baby that way given different circumstances I would be completely heebed out by it.

A few years ago in the town I live in there was a mother who passed away hours after giving birth to her third child. Lactating women from our area came together and breastfed this newborn baby who had lost his mother. The mother was planning to breast feed him as she did her other two children. The women had a schedule and all took turns feeding the baby and would go to the baby's home for the feedings. People magazine actually did an article on it at the time and interviewed the father. They had a picture of the father, baby and all the twenty some lactating mothers that helped in the magazine.

Well, for centuries babies of wealthy families were fed by a hired wet nurse, so that the mother didn't have to nurse.

My sister and I nursed our babies at the same time. We swapped a few times in an emergency, no biggie.

I don't think it's all that weird. Certainly a better choice then formula, made from cow's milk, at least another mom is the right SPECIES, you know?

:)

While it's out of practice, I can't for the life of me understand while anyone would think it vile to wet nurse. I do think it should be permitted by the mother, however, but not something I would be so angry about to lose a friendship when in all likelihood, it was done to calm an upset LO. But vile? Breastmilk is better than formula regardless of whether its from you or another woman. Obviously in yesteryear, there were no pumps and no formula. If I couldn't nurse, I would try to use a milk bank as formula would be a last resort. I wish I had known with my first that milk banks existed as I only nursed her for a month and resorted to formula due to low supply. I've been fortunate to not have that issue repeat itself for my other two. Formula obviously has its purpose, but initially it was created because of a mom's inability to nurse or produce enough milk.

I nursed a friend's baby one time, he was exclusively nursing and his mom was only supposed to be gone for an hour, but she had a flat tire so it was much longer. He was hungry and I was nursing my own child and had plenty of milk, so I fed him. No big deal. His mother was relieved when she got back that he wasn't screaming with hunger. This was before cell phones and I could not ask her, just did what I felt was right.

It's called a wet nurse.

I would be upset if someone was nursing my child without my permission or consent. Especially one that I do not know well.

I have wet nursed two friends babies. I pumped my milk for them and also nursed them from my breast. I did it because both of my friends were going through a serious health issues.

To pitch in in n emergency I would definitely nurse some one else's child. I would be thrilled if I could help them that way. I would not mind some one else nursing my child under the same circumstances. But, to do it when it wasn't necessary without my permission would upset me.

If a baby was in need and I was lactating I would do it in a heartbeat. As long as the mother gave permission first. Also, if something happened that prevented me from nursing, I would hope someone would do the same for me. When my oldest hit 10 months old, my milk supply dropped. I knew someone who had plenty of milk to spare, so she gave me her extra pumped milk, which I used to supplement. I was also privileged to "pay it forward" by donating my extra pumped milk when I was nursing my third baby.

Nursing is obviously much more intimate than using a bottle of someone else's pumped milk, but I think the principle is the same. The only thing I would take issue with is if permission is not given ahead of time. I wouldn't feel comfortable letting just any lactating woman nurse my baby!

I know it sounds weird, but I did this for my nephew several times. My SIL had postpartum psychosis and was only able to nursE for 3 months. I was still nursing my son at the time, so I nursed my nephew several times and pumped as much as I could for him.

The whole wet nursing thing has a weird and sordid history in the US, since it was forced upon women in slavery. But in the right context, when it's voluntary and supportive, I personally believe it's preferable to formula.

That said, I would never nurse a baby unless the parents requested it, and never, ever, ever without their prior knowledge. No matter how healthy it is, that just crosses too many boundaries for me.

I don't think it is weird at all. I know that my mom and my aunt had babies at the same time on two different occasions and used to nurse each others' kids when it was convenient.

Nursing is simply feeding a baby. I don't understand why it would be a big deal to have another mom feed your child. I wouldn't have a problem with it.

I was a cow.

Mooooooooooooooooooo.

But I couldn't pump. And we tried everything. The lactation consultants were more upset than I was (donor milk being so hard to get), although it was hard never being able to hand baby off to grandmother, dad, whomever. When I say moo, though, I mean it. My son at apx 20oz PER feeding from a few weeks old until I lost my milk at 9-10months. Every 2 hours or so, he'd knock back apx 20oz. I know this, because we were part of a breastfeeding study, with super spiffy scales that weighed them before eating and after eating.

I wetnursed, while I was nursing, a couple times. Not only did I have huge supply, I had really flexible supply. It was no problem at all throwing another baby on for a few days or a week.

I had a couple friends going through some stuff (surgery for one) that meant they couldn't nurse for short periods of time, and they didn't want to do formula unless they had to. No biggie.

I'd have been TICKED though, if someone had just fed my son without asking (I would have said no, even had they asked), or if someone had just assumed my breasts meant free lunch.

When my third daughter was three weeks old, I was visiting my mom and had had a terrible night with the baby. I was sleeping peacefully in the afternoon and when I woke up, I went to find my daughter who was ALSO sleeping peacefully. My sister had let me sleep (for 7 hours) and had nursed my baby for me so that I could get the rest I so desperately needed. To fix the engorged problem, I nursed her baby and all was good!

With anyone OTHER than my sister, I would probably not have been happy, but in this case I was much relieved AND rested!

Most upper class victorian mothers used to have wet nurses (even if they also nursed their babies). So there's that.

My mom and her best friend used to breastfeed each other's kids (ME). What can I say, it was the 70's.

If it's a healthy mama, in my book it's better than formula! ;)

I think it def. needs to be an agreed upon thing... permission required!! Breastfeeding is so intimate!

Def. awkward and no, personally can't imagine doing it.

Yes i would IF the mother asked me to, we were good friends or related, and I was healthy.

Same goes for my own child...

My cousin (in-law) nursed a friend of her's baby when the Mom had to have a surgical procedure and was overnight in t he hospital and unable to nurse for 24 hours after the surgery. She was happy to do it.

Well of course years ago it was a common thing. The wealthy would hire a "wet nurse" to feed the baby, and the poor would feed each others' infants when the mother was working, sick or dead (sadly these were traditionally the conditions of poor women.)
But, to have someone else nurse your baby in these modern times (meaning within the last fifty years or so) without your knowledge or permission? Pretty creepy :(
Honestly I would feel weird about it but I would do it (feed another baby/let mine be fed by another) if it was a matter of survival.

The article able Selma Hyak (sp) had her in Africa visiting a hospital and there was a newborn whose mother was ill. She didn't have to do it but did. So the world is in an uproar (read the article in the magazine).

Having said that having had my milk come in and not be able to pump I would have been happy to have another baby to nurse just to get rid of the discomfort. It is not a big deal it is part of life and part of the human species. I think that the person who was caught nursing the baby should have asked before the mom left. But to each his own.

Wet nurses were the thing in this country for over 100 years. Read your history. It's a baby not a man nursing your boobs! (This also happened in the days of old. -- now that would be disgusting to me!)

The other S.

I've nursed two other children that were not mine, biologically or otherwise. I gave birth to both of them. The first I nursed the boy with his mother on the bed next to me. She held him to my breast and he nursed.

The second I nursed before his mother even got into the state. The birth was sooner and way quicker than any of us expected so she wasn't there. I nearly died from bleeding and so, in order to help stop the bleeding, I nursed.

I don't see anything wrong with it in the right situations.

ETA: Apparently some here think the fact that I breastfed the boy for 6 months (pumping and delivering between times we were together) vile.

Well, then let me and my act of love for two infants and their mothers be vile.

My cousins all have kids around the same age. It's not common, but there have been times that they have nursed each others kids. Especially if the baby is really upset and not able to calm and NOT a bottle baby.
Apparently I nursed on my Aunt Hope, whom I loved dearly, was SO sad that she passed, and have named my daughter after her.
I would be fine nursing someone else's baby if the baby needed it! If I wasn't around and my baby needed to nurse and needed to eat then I would be fine with that as well.
L.

Have you not heard of a "Wet Nurse?" It is a Nanny who is "in milk" to do this very thing. It is common of VERY OLD SCHOOL royalty and nobility but I am sure it is still around today just not talked about openly. When I was nursing my son if there was a child that needed it I would have offered my breast just as I would hope that should my son have needed it a breast would have been offered. It does not bother me and in fact when I read about Selma doing this it brought me to tears, I was so proud of her and her choice - it was selfless and an act of a pure soul.

Once while babysitting my infant, my best friend tried breastfeeding her because she didn't know what else to do to calm her. My baby cried nonstop for 2 hours, refused the bottle and pacifier. My friend had 6 kids in the house including her own baby and out of desperation she tried nursing my crying baby, but the baby wouldn't take to it. I did think it was weird and it made me uncomfortable. But when I thought about who my friend was and what her intentions were, I was fine with it. It was a one time thing.

One summer while camping with my sisters and we were all in the same open cabin, her 18 mos daughter climbed into bed with me while I was sleeping and latched right on. And before I could figure out what was happening, she figured out there was no milk forthcoming, so she switched breasts and still there was no milk. I picked her up and carried her to her mom.

I know for a fact, that if I had been lactating and she had been successful in finding milk, she would have not let go until she was satisfied. We still laugh about it.

But honestly, the practice of nursing other women's babies has been in practice since human's have been lactating I suppose. There would have been slim chances at survival if we did not help each other out in feeding and nourishing and breastfeeding other babies in need.

I remember my own mother taking an infant into our home for a week back in the 60's, when bottles would have certainly been an option, the mother had to leave town unexpectedly and my mother breastfed this baby. In hindsight she regretted the decision because she did not have enough milk for her own baby, or both, and then she was too engorged the week after the baby left.

I think given all the formula options available to families now, the issue of nursing another someone else's baby is become less and less practiced or needed.

I don't think nursing another baby is out of the question, but the mother should give permission first. It is a very intimate thing to nurse another baby, and it's definitely inappropriate to assume it's okay to nurse another person's baby without permission.

I will add that human milk is always going to be better for human babies than cow's milk. I have only donated (not received from) my breast milk to others, but if I was in need of milk for my baby, I would choose human milk over milk from an animal. I'm not sure why people a mother's milk is designed for only her baby, but they think cow's milk is better designed for all human babies.

This used to be done and considered quite normal.
The women were called "wet nurses".
I read a book about Abraham Lincoln and his wife had a wet nurse for at least one of their children. She wasn't able to breast feed and we know that two of their children died, which was also a very unfortunate and common occurance at the time.

I don't know how old your brother is, but it might not have seemed so weird and creepy for a woman to have thought it was appropriate to "feed" him the only way she knew how at the time.

Times have definitely changed and necessities have definitely changed. But, not all that long ago, this wasn't considered so weird.

I nursed my sister's baby who was the same age as mine when I flew in to take care of her kids. She was in the hospital with a back injury. I think there were times when she did the same for mine. It didn't seem weird at all. To comment about you don't know what someone else puts in their body, you also don't know what the cow ate unless you get organic. Now the way our food supply is produced is disgusting, both plant and animal.

"Wet nurses" are VERY common in Russia where I am from.... i do not see what the big deal is........

I am a huge breast-feeding supporter but I would never nurse another baby or let anyone nurse my child unless it was a matter of life or death. It is just too personal an experience.

I nursed a 6 week old once when a friend of mine had to take a final that she couldn't bring the baby to. It was really strange and funny, because I was nursing my 18mo at the time, and the baby's suckling was SO much stronger! I had forgotten how different it is when they get older. I would have no trouble being on either side of this, but I would be very angry if someone to whom I had not given my permission had nursed my baby.

i would do it as others have stated under the right conditions.

When i first read your mom's story i was all up in arms too. then i started to wonder how long mom had been gone and what other feeding options the baby sitter had etc etc. To me it all depends on the conditions.

Hasn't this been done for centuries (the whole idea of the "wet nurse") and just fallen out of practice fairly recently in history? I think my mom and aunt (who had my brother and cousin within a couple of months of each other) used to switch off sometimes and breastfeed each others' kid when we'd go visit them (for convenience mostly - one mom was out grocery shopping, other was home with babies, baby got hungry, mom fed baby). If it's done with permission on all sides, I have no problem with it. Coming home and finding my friend feeding my child would be inappropriate, however - not because I find the practice gross, but because she stepped over boundaries, much like if I came home and she was trying on my bra...

Reminds me of the movie..."Hand that Rocks the Cradle"! Creepy!!!

Neither way would bother me. I'd be fine with someone I knew (friend, sister, etc) nursing my baby and I would have no problem nursing someone else's if asked. I wouldn't nurse someone else's baby unless I knew they were okay with it though.

Isn't that the purpose of the mother's milk being balanced for HER baby?
No, I wouldn't allow it. I find it vile. Then again, I would never get milk from a milk bank. People tend to think I'm weird for that. I can't control what someone else puts into their body. How do I know if there is something she consumed, that I don't want in my baby? I can't!! So much of the screening process is the honesty policy.

I can't imagine a woman finding it appropriate to nurse another woman's baby, with no discussion first. Talk about no boundaries. And how creepy!!

ETA: In a survival type of situation, obviously I would allow someone to nurse my child. I am using the internet to answer questions on mampedia...clearly I'm able to survive and provide for my child!!

If it needed to be done to keep the child alive and healthy, then yes, I would nurse another woman's baby and I would allow another woman to nurse mine. There has to be permission given and trust between the other mother and I.

There are milk donation foundations. There's even have a special nursing set up for adopted babies. The new mother's wear it against their breasts and after a while the stimulation and scent of new baby will cause the new mother to produce her own milk.

I would nurse another baby if it were a matter of that or formula and mom needed help . I would not want someone else to nurse my baby I would freak out! I mean that's very " hand that rocks the cradle"

Updated

History says there were "Wet Nurses", although it would be a complete surprise & shock if there were no understanding beforehand.

I think my biggest issue with the concept would be health issues of the other person. But if you knew the person and knew there weren't any health risks, it would be preferable over formula or baby being hungry.

Although, I wouldn't feed from my breast w/o permission... Unless it was the ONLY option. I would expect the same respect from others.

This idea is as old as...well...history. You've heard the term "wet nurse"...that's what it refers to.

I don't think in these times it's often necessary. I would not want someone to nurse my child because it would not be necessary. I would not nurse someone else's child for the simple fact that I would not be comfortable with it...has nothing to do with how I feel about the subject.

I am still nursing, and I was working in the church nursery the other day when a baby, about 10 months old, really started fussing. Her mother hadn't left us with a cup or anything, since she was still nursing. One of the other ladies "joked" that I should nurse her...I was MORTIFIED!! Just the thought of it was embarrassing to me...I guess that's just me. I am not morally opposed to it.

Ever heard of a wet nurse? Used to be common for upper class ladies to have a servant nurse the baby. That being said NO ONE would ever nurse my baby but me, nor would I feel comfortable nursing anothers child. I was surprised to find that pumped breastmilk is actually sold online, there's a website where it was going for several dollars an ounce! Literally liquid gold...

I would never let another person breastfeed my baby. Things like HIV & Hepatitis can be transmitted through breastmilk.

No way on me nursing another. No way on another nursing my baby. If I did anything, I'd be okay with PUMPING and giving to someone else's baby, but that skin-to-skin-mouth-to-nipple thing is for a mother and child only IMO.

No and no. I would especially be furious if someone else tried to nurse my baby!

For me, it would depend entirely on the situation. Basically it would be a life or death situation. I wouldn't do it casually, no. I've heard these same stories you are talking about and I honestly don't understand if the biological mother is healthy, why she wouldn't choose to bond with her own child by nursing them herself.

First off, the first paragraph in your question sounds like "Hand The Rocks the Cradle" or whatever that one movie is called. lol

I PERSONALLY wouldn't do it. I wouldn't feel comfortable nursing someone else's baby or someone else nursing mine.

HOWEVER, I definitely see both sides of the situation. There may be an emergency of some sort, or maybe an adoption, who knows. I think it just depends on the person and the family involved.

If someone was nursing my kid, without my knowledge, then we got some serious problems there. Momma Bear comes out then!

My DD's first daycare mixed up bottles and gave my breastmilk to someone else once. It kinda creeped me out (and made me frustrated to have "wasted" a bottle), but I can't even imagine what the other mother thought. I can't imagine breast feeding someone else's child, but I suppose in the right circumstances, I might. I really can't see allowing someone else to breast feed my child though, under any circumstances. I suppose if I died, I could see it happening, like the story referenced below, but I would assume women would just pump and donate the milk.

I definately wouldnt want anyone other than myself nursing my babies. I find that a little too weird. If you obviously cant nurse your child then there are other options! But to have another woman nursing my child would just be weird, sorry to say! I think that it is a special bond between the mother and baby and its something special.
Add on- Bug said it perfectly!

Like most things, a need is a need. No, I wouldn't let a baby starve in the wild if I could nurse it (but I would let one wait until mom gets home from and errand :-0), and no I wouldn't prefer my child to be nursed by someone else unless it needed it-like pre-formula medieval days and it might die if it wasn't eating because I died in child birth and their was no goat around....but just for the heck of it all? Nah.

I would not want any one else to nurse my baby but me. I was upset that the priest during my daughter's baptism was putting his thumb in all the babies mouth to suck on. Yuck! If someone had wanted me to nurse their baby however I would have had no problem with that although I can't imagine any one asking me to nurse their baby.

My aunt did this to my sister! She is one of our younger aunts, and she had her first son later in life and was still nursing him at age 1 or 2 (she nursed him a loooong time) when my sister had her first baby. She was watching my sister's baby for her and my sister had pumped a breastmilk bottle for him but when she came back my aunt said "he still seemed hungry so I nursed him a little extra for you". My sister thought it was so weird! It is kinda weird, but I more funny weird than appalling weird.
This same aunt later adopted a daughter (like I said she got married late in life and only had time to squeeze in one biological child)... since she had breastfed in the past, she was able to take hormones to stimulate milk production and breastfeed her adopted daughter. Pretty cool.

OMG...no way. I can't imagine doing that. I have heard of donating breastmilk so if you are sure of the health of the donor (friend or not) then using it should be fine but out of a bottle please!

I agree with Bug! Theres no way I'd let someone nurse my baby! And I think its disgusting. Only way I can think of it being necessary was for survival.