Nursing Moms Question

As long as both moms are fine with it what's the big deal? I would do it in a heartbeat for anyone and I hope they would do the same!

I agree totally with AllisonF. I would not be comfortable doing it either. If we look back at medicine in the past, there were a lot of things that were customary that we don't do anymore -- blood letting is one example. To each his own, but I would not participate in it personally.

Isn't the sharing of open-system breast pumps discouraged because the infants might be exposed to viruses in the other mother's milk, which they haven't gotten any immunity from their mother? There's also a concern if one mother is taking any medication. I would think that nursing other people's children would carry the same concerns. Yes, historically there used to be wet-nurses, but since the development of modern medicine and infectious diseases, I would think it would be discouraged also.

Its my understanding that breast milk from milk banks goes through a pasteurization process which kills the worrisome viruses:

"All donor mothers are carefully screened.  They must be non-smokers, taking no medications, in good health and have breastmilk in excess of their own babies needs.  In addition, they must have negative blood tests for Hepatitus B and C, HIV 1 and 2, and HTLV 1 and 2.  Donors must receive physicians consent to donate, and must also provide evidence of immunity to rubella, a negative syphilis test and provide their TB and herpes history.  Donors receive detailed instructions in the hygenic collection and handling of milk.  You have to be serious about helping others to be a donor!

Once the donor milk arrives at the milk bank, it is pasteurized.  The pasteurization process destroys both CMV and HIV viruses while retaining most of the nutritional and allergy protection benefits.  After pasteurization the milk is tested for bacteria."

Um...no. I would be VERY upset, if someone nursed my child. I think that's totally gross and inappropriate. Many people feel differently, but that's my opinion.

If the other mother was given permission or suggestion, that's one thing. If they just voluntarily did it without talking about it first...that's just weird.

I think it is odd personally. I saw your edits and feel bad that you got slammed for your question. EVERYTHING is transmitted through breastmilk -- that is why breastmilk banks so clearly go through the process of vetting where the milk comes from, any diseases the donor might have etc. as they do with blood. I would NEVER want another woman to just nurse my kids -- EVER. It is never possible to know exactly what that person's health status is or what she has been exposed to, ingested etc. I do not think your question was odd -- you were surprised/perplexed and asked.

I know historically about wet-nursing, etc. but again, I would never personally engage in it and would ALSO find it quite odd to see my acquaintances swapping babies at the boob.

Best wishes.

I see no problem with this at all. I'm assuming that both mothers are aware of what is going on and don't have a problem with it. There was a time when wet nurses were very normal. If one of my friends needed me to nurse their baby I would be more than happy to. Likewise is something were to happen and my baby needed milk I would be thrilled if one of my friends would nurse my baby. I think it's great that their relationship is close enough that they are comfortable with nursing each others babies.

My one sister nursed my other sisters baby. She was baby sitting and my sister was gone longer than she thought and the baby was hungry. Since my other sister was breastfeeding her little one and my nephew was hungry she just nursed him. Everyone was happy and no one thought it was weird at all.

If it works for them then it's all good! It used to be a lot more common place and more acceptible in the past and still is in many cultures.

... I nursed both my kids.... my friends too... but... even if they are my GOOD friends... I would not do that.
That is me.

Why not just nurse your baby FIRST.... THEN go to the store? That is what most Moms do.

And it is inappropriate... if a Mom assumed, she could do that with another person's baby....

Well it is historical, I was actually contemplating becoming a professional wet nurse, it is still a pretty common practice in Europe in the upper crust. It has been becoming more popular lately.

i dont see any issue with it except for allergy reasons. Breastmilk is best!
So if your saying you dont agree, then its acceptable or not for a non milk producing mom takes breastmilk from a bag from a "milk bank "that was sent in by another mom. See the logic there?

If they are confortable with it, I don't see why not. Just a few years back this was very normal and even some aristocrats would use to hire women to nurse their children.
If they are both healthy, I don't see a problem with it.

If both moms are ok with it, it wouldn't bother me.

I wouldn't be comfortable with someone else nursing my kids. Many people don't bat at eye at moms who donate breastmilk to other moms, like for preemies. So it's not really a disease issue I'd think so much as a comfort thing. If I wasn't around, I'd rather my kid got breastmilk (preferably mine and preferably in a bottle) before getting formula (this is not meant as a put down to formula feeders). So maybe other moms just prefer breastmilk too and aren't picky about the method?

As long as both are healthy and eating & drinking everything they should (or shouldn't) I think it's great they are willing to do that for eachother. We forget that before instant, affordable, easily made formula women who had problems with their milk had to seek wet nurses to allow their children to survive. I'd say the biggest problem with this situation is other people feeling the need to judge.

As long as they are ok with it I believe it is no one elses business. Don't think I would but then again I am not in that situation etc.

Let it go. I am sure there are other things to worry about than what someone else is doing. Life is too short.....enjoy and be happy it works for them. :)

Well I was assuming there was some sort of arrangement in place, like if the mothers were taking turns nursing or something. That should be fine as long as everyone is healthy.

But based on Bug's comment, it sounds like maybe one mom did this without the other mom's consent? In which case, definitely not ok.

in our culture it is unusual and I would not allow someone else to nurse my baby-- it's too personal.

I nursed a friends child once when she had to be gone too long to take a test at school. I have no problem with this practice, as long as both moms are ok with it, What I do have a problem with is other people thinking it's any of their business.

I think it's all personal preference, but I think there's also a concern about the healthiness of the other mother's milk. I know what I put into my body (and I'm not going to deny that I love my Earl Grey tea in the morning), so I know what's possibly getting into my breast milk. I can't be so sure of that of other mothers' milk. Also, there have been studies showing that each mother's milk changes with her growing and changing baby based on that baby's needs. If two mothers were doing this consistently, then, it would probably be fine. Yes, there were wet nurses for royalty and the wealthy a long time ago, but I think each wet nurse was exclusive to a family/child and stayed with that particular child until he/she was weaned. I could be wrong about that. It would be worth researching. Again, it's a personal preference thing, and if there was a real need (like with milk donations), I think it's worthwhile. However, personally, I'd rather know that my son is getting my milk--which is designed specifically for him.

Start with history: Wet nursing used to be the norm rather than the exception in many societies around the world. There were women who were employed specifically for that. Nursing was not seen to be as personal a decision or as personal time with the mother, it was as normal as someone else spoon feeding your toddler (think of a nanny or sitter). There are many places in the world where it is still done commonly and there are usually rules in place for it with some religious groups that govern the relationships of children who are wet nursed by the same women (some considered to be siblings if they nurse from the same woman regardless of whether or not she is their mother). It is not common here in the US because we moved, for a great deal of time, to bottles and that was the norm and the breast was seen as solely sexual rather than nurturing during the Victorian Era and since then that notion has grown which is why many get sidelong glares when nursing in public.

Going to the women: If both women are OK with it then they have moved beyond the societal dictates about breasts being sexual and returned to them being baby feeders that can be shared just like a sippy cup (and how many of you have seen kids swap spit on a sippy). It's none of anyone else's business if they are comfortable with it but, really, most of us need to move past Victorian dictates of sexuality and maternal image and read a little history of how families shared their lives BEFORE we got stuck in our current prudish rut.

Not everyone is like you -- or me -- but we could at least say they can do what they feel comfortable with rather than just judging. Women donate breast milk all the time, the only differences here is that the baby's mouth is on the nipple and the moms are friends. If I had a good friend who could nurse mine (and my kids were comfortable with) while I took care of things or in an emergency, I would have be happy to return the favor (I have a fried like that now but not a few years back when I needed it).

How many moms have a let down when another child cries? It's natural and your body knows to respond to A baby's cries, not just YOUR OWN. I nursed mine, all 4, for 2 full years each and loved it but wished I could go out solo once in a while without worrying that they would be hungry (at least as infants).

Illness/Health: Oh, and there are far more benefits to donated/wet nursed milk. There are very, very few viruses that can be passed through breast milk (HIV, HepA/B and TB are most severe but only infectious to the child IF the mother has not undergone treatment -- except HIV, then no nursing) and things like the flu or strep cannot pass through milk. Which means if you know the mom that well, you'll know she is clean or at least treated and can make a good decision. It's safe, brings 2 moms closer together and keeps kids the healthy.

If you had multiples you might rethink your opinions. We need a bit broader thinking on things rather than knee-jerk reactions and postings.

If you are not one of the nursing mothers, why is it any of your concern?

it used to be a common practise, and people would even hire a "wet nurse" for their babies... but no, I wouldnt, yet almost did when I was 15 with my 1st baby, I was holding a friends baby and he started crying, it was instant reaction to draw him to my breast, but I caught myself and was pretty embarrassed!

I've nursed several babies that weren't mine, at the request of their parents, including one for several weeks while her mother was in the hospital. I've always been totally up front about my entire medical history and never had any problems.

If I were in their situation, I pray that another mother would find it in her heart to do the same for us.

I do find it interesting that the common assertion that breastfeeding is no more intimate or bonding than bottlefeeding goes straight out the window when it's someone other than mom nursing the baby.

If they think it's fine, then it shouldn't be your issue.

That said - I don't think I'd do it during a trip to the store, that seems to casual for me. I preferred to schedule my outings around my babies feedings when I was nursing, but that
s just me.

However, I have a cousin who helped a friend who had to have surgery... her friend couldn't nurse for 2 days due to hospitalization/medication and so my cousin babysat and nursed her friends baby for her since she was nursing her own (older baby) at the time. If something like that ever came up, I would do it for sure... to really help someone out who's baby didn't do formula or bottles or something...

But again, if it doesn't affect you, it shouldn't bother you.

J.

I wouldn't want another mother to nurse my baby... That is MY special bonding time that I am NOT willing to share with ANYONE! lol. The closest I come is letting Hubby feed her a bottle of expressed milk! However, if a friend of mine was ok with it, and needed my help, I would probably do it for her. Come to think of it, if I had no other choice (say I had to have surgery or something like that that would make it impossible to nurse my DD), and a close friend of mine was willing to nurse her, I would probably let her. (IF I knew her milk was 'clean'...) I say 'probably' because I have no way of knowing what would actually happen until I am put in the situation... but hey, if it works for your friends, good for them. :)

This reminds me of my cats, actually. lol. They each had 6 kittens within a day of each other, and they used to share a box (I had a dresser drawer under my bed that they used) and one would stay with all 12, nurse them, clean them, whatever, while the other went and did whatever. Then they would switch off. It was pretty bizarre behavior, for cats. lol. :P

I have nursed another's child before - and wet nurses used to be used as a normal day to day practice for royalty and the very wealthy. As long as you know about it, know the other Mother and can know if she's STD/drug free - - what is the problem?

No one has nursed my daughter, but if I knew them and knew they were healthy, I'd not have an issue with it.

I think it is way too personal.