Welcome to toddler-hood! =)
My oldest had/has an attitude, so I know what you're going through. I disagree that she is too young to be disciplined, but you have to go about it the right way. Discipline doesn't always mean spanking (I think inflicting pain is counter-intuitive); it's the way to teach her correct behavior and how to follow rules. I can't tell you what the right way is for your daughter, since every child is so different, but I have found that kids are a LOT smarter than we think.
For my oldest, I had to give him time-outs on my lap. Sure, he kicked and screamed through the whole thing, but I was consistent and he figured out he wasn't going to get away with it.
A lot of times, ignoring a tantrum is the way to go. When the tantrums start to be destructive or potentially harmful (throwing things, slamming doors), of course you'll have to intervene.
Communication is important. Use simple words to tell her what is expected of her, and why she is in trouble. For example: "No throwing toys. Be nice to toys." If she still throws the toy, say, "No throwing toys. Toy goes bye-bye now." and take the toy away. Yes, it will make her mad, but she'll get the point really fast.
Good luck! I know it's hard. I'm still figuring things out myself.