Anyone Know? - Spanaway,WA

Previous answers about adoption seem to have that aspect covered.

It is not unusual for people to have different last names in the same family. My aunt and uncle have a family of 4 but there are 3 different last names--mom has her maiden name (went back to it after a divorce) her older son has his bio dad's name and her daughter and husband have the same last name. She kept the maiden name in the second marriage so her son would not feel left out. In my family I am kind of the odd one since I never changed my name when I got married. My kids have my name as a middle name and dad's last name. It works fine for us and there are so many non-traditional families these days it is no big deal.

To change her name, at least in my state (WY) you would have to either have the father's consent, or have him waive or lose his parental rights...

that is assuming her biological dad is paying his child support. You have to try to give him the option to say "no" - but if you are unable to contact him, he doen't pay up, and the state cannot locate him to collect payments, at some point a judge could order that his parental rights and responsibilities be "removed" at your request so your new husband could legally adopt your child. He would still be responsible to the state for any "back child support" up until that date... but he would be out of your hair, and would lose his parental rights.

But, as long as he has those rights... he has a say... (but he also has the responsibility of child support) . If you can contact him, maybe he would choose to let* your fiance adopt your daughter, in exchange for not having to pay for child support? You would both have to agree to it, and then it would be approved by a judge. If he really wants out from under these obligations as a parent, maybe he would be OK with it- and at least you and your daughter could be "rid" of him.

The only reason I know all of this is because a family member of mine is in a very similar situation and is actually going through all of this process right now.

Good luck to you!
-M.

I think your boyfriend once a new husband would have to adopt your child in order to change the name on her birth certificate. I don't think you can just change her name. her father would have to "let" him adopt her too. If he is not paying support anyway, you can contact him and ask him to give her up so you can do what you wish if you get married. He has to approve of this if I am not mistaken...he has to sign her away. I would NOT change her name until you are in fact married for sure. Even then you might think about just letting her keep your last name unless this man wants to adopt her as his own. My mom married my 'dad' when I was 2 and he adopted me b/c my real dad was nowhere to be found. He either had to sign me away or she had to go to an attorney and 'try' to find him for a certain amount of months before the law would let her change my last name and her new husband adopt me. That was years ago but I think the laws are still similar. Good luck. ps/ you say change her last name so 'when' you are married..... do NOT change her last name UNTIL you are married.

I'm not 100% positive but I'm pretty sure that if you wanted to change her name, you would have to have your bf legally adopt. In order for that to happen the bio-father would have to sign away his rights which would mean he wouldn't be required to pay child support. I guess it may come down to a decision of what is more important, having the child support or having a common last name. There are up sides to both. If you're struggling financially of course you should keep the support. On the other hand, if you'd be fine without it, having a common last name may create more of a sense of unity (thats how I would feel anyway, I know some for some people this wouldn't make a difference.) I'm in the same position. My son has my last name and when/if I get married again I would like them to have my husbands last name but I doubt that will be possible for us. Like Denise said though, it is quite common now a days and no one would think twice about it.

You NEED to get the bio dad to waive/give up his parental rights in exchange for not having to pay child support. Then when your current man adopts her, she will get his name. I would be sure he is worthy because if you divorce, she will still be his.

You need to consult an attorney. This is a legal matter. There is currently no father of record but with DNA the other guy can come around years from now and claim to be her father.

my advise is leave it be. if i was to remarry my oldest would have a diffrent last name than me it is very common now days

Not sure about just changing her name. But it seems like he'd need to adopt her, and that means the bio father loses all birth rights and ties etc so he wouldn't need to pay child support.

Is it that her bio father doesn't care or never will or isn't good for her? Because IMO (and this is only MY opinion, not my judgement etc) if a father isn't 'allowed' to see his child just because he's not that great (not that he's dangerous) then I don't think it's fair to make him pay child support.
But then I don't think it's fair for him to have brought a child into the world and have no responsibility. Especially if he knows about her.

Good luck to you and I'm so happy for you that you have a decent man to be a good father to her :D

Is the bio dad required to pay support by a court order? (I haven't seen this issue addressed in your responses yet). If so, then a court has made a determination that he is the father. Legally. (they won't order support if they don't make a determination of paternity). If that is the case, then it doesn't make a hill of beans worth of difference whether or not his name is on the birth certificate.

What about hyphenating your name? At least then she's always have your name in there....and then you have similar names....just a thought.

it sounds to me like Your daughters bio dad would prefer to NOT pay child support especially if he never sees his kid anyway. So maybe just ask him "hey what exactly are your plans? would you like to stop paying child support and be released of all obligations?". If he says "yes". problem solved.....release him, have this bf adopt her and...voila!

Also if the bio dad is not on birth certificate either... I dont know how he can be paying child support. If you didn't "Declare" him the father, I don't think he is....technically.

You cant change the name to his without him adopting her. IF, he adopts her, that will mean that you have to have the biological father sign away custody. That means no support. Essentially, you cant have your cake and eat it too. Either she is the bio dads daughter and pays support, OR, the boyfriend adopts, with the bio dads signing and no support.
Take your pick.

EDIT: I am sorry, I read that wrong. I merely gave, what I thought was, technical advice. I am so sorry that it was because everybody wouldnt match. (sorry, I didnt know)

You can change her name but it won't have any bearing on parental rights. At this point, in order to establish parentage, you would have to have a paternity test which would obviously show that your current b/f is not her biological father. The only way that he is going to be able to adopt her is if the biological father gives up his parental rights or you have them terminated. It is REALLY hard to have a parent's rights involuntarily terminated in Washington. Unless her biological father wants to give her up, you may just have to be content with your current boyfriend being her father in terms of her daily life but not legally (which, if he's doing a good job, isn't a bad deal).

I'm just sharing our experience to give you something to think about. My husband was adopted by his stepfather. The adoption process shows the stepfather as his father on his birth certificate. We now have grown children and wish it was different. In my opinion, it is best to put the biological father's name on the birth certificate. Sometime someone may want or need to know the blood-line of your daughter. Legally changing her last name to match the others in the family is a good idea so she grows up with a sense of belonging and doesn't have to deal with having a different name than her parents and siblings. A name is just a name, but heredity is important.