Already Ready for #2! - West Columbia,SC

Updated on June 11, 2007
A.J. asks from West Columbia, SC
23 answers

My husband and I have a beautiful almost 9 month old little boy. I always wanted my children to be close in age so I think I am ready to start trying for #2. My husband thinks we should let our son be the baby for a little while longer before trying again but since I am an only child I want my children to be close. I also like the fact that he won't remember life without his younger sibling so he won't be jealous when he/she arrives. I know it will be hard at first but later on I think it will be easier since they will probably be in closer stages. Can anyone give me some advice on this?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your responses and keep 'em coming if anyone else has advice. My husband said he is ready if I am but I think he wants me to realize how difficult things are going to be..... And I do! I know that no one can prepare me for how my life is going to change but at the same time, I don't think I want to get out of the baby stage and then have to go thru it again. I am ready. I am pretty sure I only want two and so hopefully I will have two precious little ones soon!! Thanks again for all of you advice!

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A.M.

answers from Greensboro on

Hey A.!!

All I can say is go for it!!! I got pregnant with my second son when my first son was 8 months old. I love how close they are, but they do have their moments!! My oldest will be 4 in novemember and my youngest is 2 1/2. They keep me busy busy busy but I love it! It is hard at times...I fell like I have twins and it can get stressfull but they are good with each other and they miss each other when the other one is not around. They share great and they play great. I am really glad that I had them as close as I did! Hope that helps!!

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A.C.

answers from Spartanburg on

I am a mother of two boys 21 months apart. My first was 11 months when I got pregnant again. It has truly been the best thing. It was tough at first b/c it is crazy, but all of you adjust in a few weeks and as they grow older, they are really close. Mine are 2 & 3 and have so much fun together already. They are best buds! It's great!! They are in different stages, but not so different that they can't identify with each other. I love it and highly recommend it!!

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J.B.

answers from Columbia on

Hi A.! My kids are 19 months apart and I think it's great! Now, the first few months (when Jordan had colic), I thought I'd lose my mind - but it's really neat now. My son, Caleb, is almost 28 months and daughter, Jordan, is almost 9 months. They are starting to be able to play together - when Caleb isn't in 'terrible two - everything is mine' mode! I can see the bond forming even this young. Jordan completely lights up when Caleb talks to her, hugs her, plays with her, etc. And the other day when Caleb was in a time out, she crawled over to him and he whispered to her 'Mommy's bad' - it was the cutest thing ever! And the first of many times they will complain to each other about me, I'm sure! And she gets SOOO upset when he hurts her! I think it's more about getting her feelings hurt and not understanding why someone she loves so completely hurt her. She can fall down and bang her head and not even cry - but when he bit her hand last night - it look me 30 minutes to calm her down.

All of that to say - go for it! I think having them close ini age is the way to go!

Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Charlotte on

Hello A.,
My children are 14 mos apart, my brother and I are 16 mos apart, my Aunt & Dad are 10 mos apart, etc.
In my opinion, it is a hard getting used to at first--new scheduling, etc. But if you think about it this way, your doing diapers at the same time and everything else at the same time too. Which kind of gets it over with than waiting and starting over. It depends on you and your stress level also. All children are jealous when you have a 2nd, no matter what age but they older they get, the more aware they are of the situation.
All of my friends are years apart from their siblings and none of them are close. Meanwhile my brother and I grew up like twins and never fought. As adults, we are closer than other people I know who have siblings far apart in age. What do you have in common? At least the siblings will play with the same toys, same friends, etc.
Hope it helps. Good luck.

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M.O.

answers from Norfolk on

I had four kids in a 3.5-year span, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. They are close, they love each other, and there has never been any jealousy, other than when a younger one starts crawling and newly getting into the older ones' toys. That phase passes quickly, though, and they hug and kiss each other and help each other out. I think it's whatever you make of it. You deal with what you have. It's no harder than having them farther apart, in my opinion. Good luck!

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S.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

My name is S. and I have a son Schuyler (Skyler) who is 15 and a half months old and I'm 21 weeks pregnant with our daughter. At first I was a little bit nervous at the prospect of having 2 babies so close together in age but now I think it's great, they will grow up together and not remember life without each other, I have a younger brother by 3 years and don't remember life without him and he is one of my best friends. I know other people who have had children less than 2 years apart and it seems that very young toddlers are very accepting of younger siblings, however, it is very important to make sure you spend quality one on one time with your older baby when the new one arrives so they don't feel abandoned and then jealous. There are big changes ahead for my family, with the support of our families I'm sure we'll make transition very well. I say go for number 2!!!

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A.T.

answers from Norfolk on

my children are 18 months apart...it has it's benefits and also drawbacks...they play together which gives me a break and I don't feel guilty anymore like when my oldest use to be playing alone while I did chores etc...but I have to work really hard to chissel out quality alone time with the oldest because the youngest wants to be attached to me so much....If your husband is home more than mine then it wouldn't be so much of a problem because then he can take the baby off your hands so that the oldest and you can play chill whatever but my husband leaves in the morning before we wake up and gets home after they are asleep for the most part so I'm on my own for now.

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K.O.

answers from Charleston on

I tell you what...There is nothing better than seeing my two girls sitting on the floor playing together...My oldest will be three in june, the youngest 1 in may...everyone told me to be prepared for jealousy (terrible twos and all that)but we made sure that both realize they are not the center of the universe and from day one they were each others' best friend. My oldest is the mothering type and she does play the leave me alone big sister on occasion...but it's like you say, she doesn't remember a time without her little sister and there is nothing better than seeing them play together...If you (being the one to stay home all day with them) want the second, then I'd say you are ready! Good luck!

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T.B.

answers from Asheville on

Hi A.,
first,let me tell you as i do everyone,i always type in all caps.i'm not yelling.with that said,here i go.first of all most dr's say to wait a year after the first baby to have another,but i say that if you've got a hubby that helps.first of all praise the lord!!!!and i'm soooo happy for you!!i say go for it.i had my kids 2 years apart and they fight like cats and dogs. And my husband works very hard to support and take care of our family but around here mommy does it all. That is the main reason why i didn't want to have another one too soon.but girl, if you got a good man that helps and does the diaper duty and works too you have at it.i agree with you that they will probaly be better off in the long run.and like you said it may be hard for your son at first but he will not remember it and will not remember not having his sibbling around when he is older!!good luck to you and your family!!may god richly bless you all!!sending lots of prayers your way!T.

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K.G.

answers from Norfolk on

I have two boys that are two years apart and they are so close. They are very close. I think having a sibling close in age is good because it teaches your child how to get along with others. Children typically don't remember anything before their 3rd birthday, a phenomenon called infantile amnesia, so it wont hurt to wait a little longer either. Most importantly it should be something you and your husband are both excited about! Having a second child is an adjustment and having them close together takes a different approach to doing things than just having one child. We had our two boys pretty close together and we are happy we did.

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A.D.

answers from Charlotte on

My sisters children (both boys) are 20 months apart and argue the same as my two older boys who are four years apart. I think it is how close you want to have them and what you can handle emotionally. I have five children all together, oldest is 12, 7, twins4 & 2. They are all boys except the last is a girl. I understand what you are saying about being close in age, the boys are on such different levels of activities that they sometimes conflict with the younger sibling, who in turn one of them ends up mad. On the other hand our two oldest boys are in Scouts and the older one helps the younger one with his activities. Our twins watch over their baby sister and enjoy playing with her toys as well as theirs! :) So it really can go both ways and you and your husband should sit down and discuss the possibilities and come to an agreement together! Good Luck!

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A.C.

answers from Norfolk on

There are pluses and minuses to any spacing between kids. My first two are 19 months apart and I know a lot of people whose kids are that close together. It can be hard to have a new baby when your older one is just starting to be a toddler, but my girls are so close and love to play together. Having them close together means they are hitting stages and interests at about the same time, which is very convenient (although less so if they are doing toddler tantrums or adolescent sulks at exactly the same time!). You and your husband both need to be on board, but I say, go for it!

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S.S.

answers from Spartanburg on

Wait! Let your body recover...

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A.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Hey A.!

I think you know best, my girls are 3 1/2 years apart and are super close. Either way, you can't remember what life was like before you had the last one! My oldest and I were just talking about that as we were laughing at the younger one entertain us, her typical role, with some goofy little dance. She looked at me and said, I don't even remember what are life was like before we had her...me either! They are awesome! I know why you want more, Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Providence on

When I had my son, we waited 6 weeks per doctors orders. My first was A VERY GOOD BABY and we knew we wanted another at some point. Our thought process was "Jacob is SO easy, how much harder would one more be?" Did I eat those words! LOL I got pregnant immediately at that point, and my second was 6 weeks early. My sons are 9 months and 29 days apart.

That said, they are now 6 and almost 7. They argue and all that like brothers do, and there was definitely a little jealousy there even as young as my oldest was, but I don't regret it at all.

The only thing is that you go through every thing TWICE as long. With me, it was 2 years straight of formula, diaper changes, sleep pattern issues, teething, terrible twos and threes, etc. And it puts a huge toll on the body, both mentall and physically. But they are SO awesome, that I'd do it exactly the same way if I had to do it again.

Good luck to you! Keep us posted!!!

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T.K.

answers from Charleston on

I have a few friends and relatives that has had their children close together. From what I have seen and heard, I would say anywhere b/w 18 and 24 months, is a good age separation.

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K.M.

answers from Wilmington on

I would say go for it.My daughter is 10 years old and i never had another baby and boy i am really feeling like having a baby but my husband and i think it is to late.The age difference would be to much and i know she would be jealous of a baby.I think you should start trying.Remember god will not give you what you can not handle.GOOD LUCK K.

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J.M.

answers from Fayetteville on

A.,
My husband and I felt the same way! Doctors do recommend that you give your body one full year to recover, so we did, but shortly after my son's first birthday I was pregnant. My daughter was born last July also (the 29th actually), so my kids are 21 1/2 months apart.
I will say that It was hard on my body being pregnant so close together (my post-pregnancy recovery was much harder than the first time), but I am SO glad that we made the decision we did. The kids adore eachother. There was absolutely no jealousy at first and only a very little when she got older. Now she loves her brother more than us, I think ! :-)
Do be aware that you will inevitably feel social criticism; people tend to assume that you don't understand the concept of birth control as opposed to the idea that you actually WANTED children that close. lol And double diaper duty is a pain. But, I have to agree - It is harder in the beginning, and very worth it in the end. :-)
Goodluck!

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N.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I have 2 girls and their ages are 4 and 18 months. I can tell you, that the 3 year age spread was great. My now 4 year old loved being a big sister and Mommy's helper so that she didn't feel threatened as the baby. But now I am pregnant with my 3rd baby, another girl due in June, and my youngest is already protesting. She doesn't fully understand what is going on, but understands that there is going to be another baby. By kids being close, you will have more regression factors such as potty training or a sippy cup protest. Personally, I would wait a while longer. Let him be the baby and be ready to be a big brother. They will still play together and be on a common ground, but they will also have separate interest due to the age spread. Also, the closer in age, the greater the sibling rivalry is. That is just my advice, but I would consider going to the library and picking up some books to read about children and age spread and all of the factors that come into play. Best of luck to you and your family! I'm sure whatever you decide will be wonderful for all of you.

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S.J.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi Ashely,

My boys are 18 months apart, to the day. In the beginning it's a lot of work, but they love each other, so it's worth it. I think chiuldren's relationship has more to do with how the parents foster the relationship than anything in-born. But there is something to be said for kids that are just SO different, that it doesn't work. I wish mine had been a little further apart, but they are about to turn 4 and 5 1/2, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Good luck!!

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E.B.

answers from Charlotte on

I too am trying for #2 my son is a year and half and I think it is a personal decision. I see both of your sides and I tend to think more like your husband.

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A.F.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi A.. I gave birth to our first son March 21, 2006. When he was about 9 mos., we started talking about having another one. Come to find out I was already a couple months along. I gave birth to our second son April 3, 2007. They are a year and about two weeks apart. I am also a stay at home mom. It can be a little hectec at times, with one walking and one wanting to be held. There will be a little jealousy at times. When you hold one, the other likes to climb in your lap. I rather enjoy having them close together. Everyone tells me it will be a plus in the long run. I truely believe it. I keep thinking in about six monthes they will be playing together. And your first son will still be able to be a baby. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I hope this helps in your decision. Please let me know how things go.

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M.T.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi A. -- We have a 7 mo old today - born 9/20/06. We want our kids close together too. I probably would wait longer, but my husband wants to start soon. We're waiting until summer. Good luck and it will all work out when it is time :)
M.

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