Aggressive 19 Month Old!!! Help!!!

here are some ideas

make sure he has appropriate places to beat things up :
* we have foam swords, with which the children--but really the boys only do it--are allowed to whack the couch, the walls, the doors ... but not anything that would break or is alive. They can whack each other's swords if they are fighting
* another thing boys seem to appreciate is digging ... sacrifice a chunk of your back yard (if you have one) to a digging pit (I have to reestablish this at my house)
* be sure to tell him "Hey, Josh, go beat up the couch" not "stop hitting Jimmy!" (I usually yell STOP!!! first to break the focus on the hitting, but then as soon as they are kind of listening tell them what TO do (instead of focussing back on what they shoudn't do ;) )

timeouts can work a different way than standard--he needs to stay in his time-out space until he is ready to be gentle with people and the dog ... in order for that to happen, he has to have things in his time-out space that calm him down and allow him to process and re-center (books? stuffed animal? Transformers? gentle familiar music? blankets and a pillow are a must because sometimes they are just tired ...). Sometimes he will need a parent to help him recenter (probably especially as he learns the new version of timeout!). And if he comes out and is not being gentle, he goes back in ... not a punishment, just a reality-check ... suggest all the calming things ...

OR, use the old-fashioned method for boys :) and send him out to "chop wood" ... what is a big-motor-skills activity that is (or appears) useful to your family that he can be set to to physically reorganize himself?

on the deeper end, my oldest son had sensory integration issues that led to an inability to read other people/understand when they were hurt, he didn't really know where his physical body was/ended so he always ran into things, he didn't process language intuitively, and his brain would lock down if I got too loud/intense (unfortunately I used to yell a lot when frustrated, and a kid who couldn't listen and couldn't be careful was very frustrating) ... thank goodness I figured it out (as well as making changes to get myself under a bit better control as well, still in process of course) ... he was a fairly extreme version of a set of neurological patterns that is NORMAL for boys (we diagnose it as a disorder now because it's inconvenient to our assumptions of what children 'should' be like, sigh) ... but he was (and is) actually the most gentle spirited of my children, and just as sweet as the rest ... the aggression really can be simply testosterone, even at this age, and at this age they have no tools to redirect or control themselves!

Alright, that's all my thoughts for now ;).

My daughter was the very same way. It took a good 12 months for me to see a great improvement. You just have to come up with a game plan and be 100% consistant. Also, anytime someone was coming over or we were going anywhere we would go over the rules...1. No hitting 2. Be respectful, etc. or whatever your rules are. Then we went over what would happen if those rules were broken for example warning, then time out, then we leave immediatly, etc. We still do that and my daughter is now 3. I had to hover like made for a very long time the other parents were very respectful of that as they know I was not letting my child "hurt" their child and I really cared. There is a book called "The New Stong Willed Child" by Dr. James Dobson http://www.amazon.com/New-Strong-Willed-Child-James-Dobso... also a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Percept...
both great reads.

I have a 17 month old little girl who is recently into the hitting and biting phase. It's for attention and she is teething too, she is also taking it out on the dogs.
Distraction has been our best bet. Removing the dogs so she doesn't have access to them until she can touch them gently and trying to engage her in a different activity. At this age they will take any kind of attention whether it's from them being good or bad. I also have been told by her teachers at school--consistency with how I discipline her, and I use the words they use, so she is getting the same message at school as at home. You may not see improvement yet but it will happen.
Has anything changed recently to cause him stress, anxiety, boredom? Maybe he is bored with this toys or the same environment? Good luck:)

What is time out? I would put time out in a room that is away from interaction with others. Pick him up and put him in the room, tell him he can not play if he is hitting, when he calms down (if he is screaming) he can come back and play. If you do this more than once in a play time, he will become frustrated and express it through hitting or screaming. You must remain calm. Tell him each time what you are doing. Eventually all you will have to do is move toward him and he will change his behavior.

If you are in a public place pick him up, and put him in the car, tell him he can not play if he is hitting. If he calms down let him go back to playing and tell him why. If he screams, take him home and tell him why.

Keep all your conversations simple statements. This is a phase that will pass, but you have to help him pass it in a positive way. He needs to learn that hitting others is not allowed and if he gets angry he may not take it out on others.

I hope this helps. What ever you do, keep it simple for an almost two year-old. (sigh) Main calm and cool attitude toward him. If you must express frustration, go outside and scream (I have done so). And whatever plan you have stick to it for at least a month so that he has a chance to really learn it.

Good luck.

My son (now 22 mo), at about 17-18 mo, did the same thing. We turned the hit into 'gentle'. Now he gently pets who/where he hit. If he hits the couch, he has to be gentle to make it better. If he hits a person, he has to show the person gentle to make it better. Now he pulls his arm back like he's going to hit, gets a stern look from me or whomever is there, and pets where he was going to hit instead. He isn't very hard with the animals at all anymore, and no longer hits other kids (unless they're being very physical together... then it's a slightly different issue). He doesn't really understand time-outs yet, though we're trying to establish them, and I didn't think it was appropriate here. I felt he needed to correct his mistake (hitting to being gently) than punishing him for something he doesn't understand is wrong.

However, if he continues to hit, he is removed and put in as much time-out as we can manage.