5 Yr Old That Won't Eat

Seams to me that children have the right idea. They eat when they are hungry rather than eating because it is time. Just something to think about.

S.

You cannot win this battle... you can give her food, tell her to eat,,, and punish her if she doesnt.. but you can not make her eat..

Kids eat when they are hungry...they are not hungry every day or every meal.

My daughter eats breakfast and sometimes lunch but rarely eats dinner..

she is tall and thin and healthy..

We have avoided food issues with her by ignoring her eating. I dont encourage her to eat .. I dont praise eating. If she says she is done.. then she is done.

In talking to the parents at my playgroup... several people said their child did not eat dinner but usually ate breakfast..

I would save your energy for battling other issues..

This is very normal for a young child. My daughter used to go days without eating and then eat nonstop for days. I just let her eat when she was hungry and she eventually grew out of it. Don't worry so much. They'll eat when they're hungry. Also, I used to eliminate snacks between meals so that she would be extra hungry for meals. Another good idea is to leave her plate on the table even after the rest of the table is cleared. My daughter used to pick at her plate for the remainder of the night and knew that if she was hungry, no snacks. She was only allowed to eat her leftover dinner. Good luck! :)

A. ~
Are you giving in and letting her have snacks? One thing I did with my son, and it only took once, was to re-heat his dinner plate for his snack. He loved spaghetti, but went through a phase where he said he didn't like it. So one night I told him that that was all he was getting, no snacks, that I would re-heat his plate the next time he was hungry, including for breakfast the next morning! I did have to re-heat it for snack, but that was it, and he never did that again.
D.

A.,

My husband and I agreed that we would not insist that our son clean his plate after every meal. I see this as forcing a child to eat more than their stomach can handle and it is not good for their bodies or their self esteem. We always tell him to eat until he feels satisfied, not full, but he has to take one bite of everything on his plate before taking the next bite. Otherwise he would ignore his veggies and fill up on meat and potatoes. This has worked quite well so far.

He doesn't eat a lot at every meal, but I always make sure to keep healthy snacks around the house and he reaches more often for the apples, bananas, celery and carrots rather than the junk food. I do have a rule about before and after dinner snacks: he cannot eat anything large just before dinner is serve and the kitchen is closed after dinner.

We have also talked with him about why we eat healthy snacks before eating junk food and what those bad foods do to your body. These conversations seem to have helped a lot.

Good luck!

-C..

Anglea- Have you tried letting her help you plan the meals, shop for them and make them? This works for our 4 year old and he is so proud when everyone tells him how good it is! Just a thought! Good luck!

I agree that you need to teach her healthy eating habits and eating meals on a regular basis is one of them. Kids usually respond better to praise and rewards than punishment. (Not saying that I never punish my children because I do when I need to) One of the rewards systems that worked for my older son when I was trying to change a behavior pattern was a token system. We made a list of some things that he either wanted or would like to do. Then we placed a token value on each item (such as a trip to the movies, a new toy...etc). We then made a list of chores or things that were expected of him and placed a number of tokens beside each one that he would receive if he accomplished those things. At the end of the day, we would sit together and go over the day and how many tokens he had earned for the day and write it on a special calendar to keep track. This gave him the option to use his rewards for smaller items or save up for a bigger item. Just make sure that all of the rewards are things that you can afford whenever she decides it is time to use her earned tokens. It is your list so you can add anything you like to it and make it work for you and your daughter. The key to making it work though is being committed to doing it every day and following through on the rewards when it is time.

This worked well for my son on a number of issues. We had things on the list such as no temper tantrums for the day, doing things when he was told the first time, cleaning up his room on certain days (not all chores have to be done every day). He was a little older than your daughter at the time but I think you could make this work.

Good luck!!

These are the kind of issues that are best handled in a very casual, low-key way that allows the child to feel in charge. The more reaction they get from you, the worse it will get. You have to pick your battles with kids, and food is a poor one to pick because it always gets worse once you get involved. Discipline isn't even a word I would use for something like this. She'll eat when she's hungry if nutritious, attractive food is made available. Some people eat in different ways than others. I'd pull out of this one fast. Sorry if I sound judgmental, but I've seen and experienced how kids can blow these things way out of proportion if you try to take a hard stand. Kids this age think they know everything and are pushing for independence. This is a safe area for her to exercise her independence, so I'd let her and keep it very light. I understand your concern but the more you mess with this, the worse it will likely get!

It's a power thing. As hard as it is you have to really not care if she goes hungry. She won't let herself starve. Give her meals, she can help plan some, and a couple of snacks through the day (I like the idea of reheating the skipped meal), but if she decides to go to bed hungry, let the natural consequence convince her to eat. Often times kids will power can be stronger than ours, this is one thing she has total say in and she knows it. Good luck!

Hi A.,
I too have a extremely picky eater. It can be exahausting and frustrating. BUT.....I learned about 4 years ago not to worry about it (my son is now 7 yrs.)
The wonderful thing about kids this young is that they don't eat out of boredom, anger, sadness, or any other reasons.....they only eat when they feel hungry. I wanted to keep that part of my child as long as possible hopefully his entire lifetime. So I don't push food, I don't request that he clean his plate. Some days he eats very little and some days he eats enough for an elephant :) I do require that he eats healthy foods and not junk.
I know it will seem strange at first not worrying about the nutrition but kids will not starve them selves to death.
I have always given my son a good vitamin/mineral suppliment, Omega's 3,6 & 9. I give him a Greens First drink when I can get it in him and other suppliments (I love homeopaths so we do a lot of that).
Good Luck.
Oh I forgot to say that not matter what he has to sit at the dinner table with us whether he eats or not. Dinner time for us is more of a time for talk about the day.
Sometimes my husband and I don't eat all that much but it is a time to come together for 20 minutes.
M.

I have an 18 yr old daughter, 8 yr. old son and a 5 yr. old son-my 5 yr. old is the same way! Every child is different! He has always just been a muncher...and will eat tiny bits at a time one day and the next day he may eat all day. He is happy and healthy-and eats lots of fruits and veggies. I wouldn`t worry about it.

Honestly, I think punishing her for NOT eating is a really bad idea. Kids eat when they want to. I feel that forcing her to eat could cause weight issues in the future. She will be trained that she has to eat even if she's not hungry which is never a good idea. I think that you need to make sure you have healthy options for her on the days that she's eating everything in sight and make sure that you are offering healthy foods on the other days even if she doesn't eat them. I was forced to be a member of the clean plate club and have struggled with my weight because of it. As far as eating with the family, even if she doesn't eat require her to sit at the table during meals. If later in the evening she is hungry, give her the plate from dinner rather then snack foods. Good luck!

If you make sure her meals and snacks are healthy, then she will be fine. She won't starve herself and if it is a power thing, you can rest assured that it will end as soon as she realizes that it doesn't get you all worked up. At 5, kids are able to tell you when they are hungry, and even get some food for themselves if they need to. Growing is hard work and if your child is like mine (and all the others) it seems that in one day they outgrow clothing. Her hunger patterns will stabilize just as long as you are sure to offer her nutritious meals that don't make her blood sugar spike and dip.

~L.

If my 3 1/2 yr old doesn't want to eat, I say "okay, but snack time isn't for a long time,(at 5 yrs you can probably poitn to the clock) and you won't be able to eat until then, are you sure you aren't hungry". I don't let her eat until that snack time. I fix breakfast, and offer food they liek that is good for them, sometimes I give them a choice (like which kind of cereal, or waffles or eggs).

Sometimes kids just aren't hungry, I wouldn't force her to eat. I also wouldn't let her eat between times. I think kids should have Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 2 snacks in between the meals.

It works for mine, when the next meal comes she eats, no problems. We go through this about once a week or so, but there is no punishment, she decides to eat or not. (Snacks and meals are about 2 hours apart, I know she may be uncomofortable for a little while, but she isn't going to starve, and she is in control of her hunger). Just make sure that you don't give in at all, that's no juice or milk.

Make sure she isn't eating except at meals and snacks, maybe she is munching and just not hungry... juice fills kids up and doesn't give much nutrition.

Hi A.,
My daughter is only 16 months, but I have several friends with older kids. They ALL have told me that kids will go through these phases when they are young where some days they eat everything in sight and some days hardly anything at all. Then, once they get to teenager status, particularly boys, eat ALL the time!

I would get away from punishing her for not eating or praising her for eating. I really just see this as setting the stage for serious issues with food later. At this young age kids eat when they are hungry. Hold onto that for as long as possible!!!! At 5 your daughter isn't eating out of boredom or because she is sad or whatever. She eats when she is hungry and doesn't eat when she is not hungry.

Just because YOU might be hungry after only eating the equivalent of what your daughter would eat.... doesn't necessarily mean SHE is still hungry. Her body is different, not to mention in a completely different stage of life.

If you want to promote family meal time, just insist that she sit at the table with the family. Let her know if she isn't hungry, that is OKAY, but this is family time and we all sit together until everyone is finished. I really don't see anything wrong with that. Just don't force the food thing.

I would really relax on this one.