3Yr Old Not Eating

cut out all crackers and juice in between meals... offer instead fruit or cut up veg, generaly a nutritious snack that is less filling. only have milk with meals too.. a bunch of crackers and a big slug of milk for a snack is really filling... once I cut that out, my daughter eats more heartily and isn't as picky at dinner time.

also, i suggest a more of a snack/meal schedule with lots of physical activity in between... my daughter always eats a big dinner if we've been to the park that afternoon.

My 3 year old won't eat supper either - she says "it's boring". She's been listening to her 8 year old sister! So, I make a game out of it. I put a bite on her fork and tell her not to eat it while I'm not looking. She thinks it's funny to have me not pay attention and she runs and grabs the bite. I know it's goofy - but it works. She may not eat all her supper, but she eats more than she will on her own!

I'm a grandma now, and my children all survived being three years old and not eating. Happily, I had a doctor who told me, "Pick your battles carefully! Your children won't let themselves starve." And it's true. I'm assuming your daughter is healthy. There are lots of things healthy, happy three-year-olds must do because their parents say to, but eating is one thing they can control. So don't pick that battle. Choose healthy food to serve, and if your daughter eats only two bites, fine! Be cheerful about it. Of course, there won't be any more food until the next scheduled mealtime/snacktime. It may worry you, of course, but stay calm and don't let the situation escalate to a war. Get Betty McDonald's "Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle", and read the chapter titled "The Slow-Eater-Tiny-Bite-Taker" just to make yourself laugh about the situation. Then enjoy your daughter. One day she will surprise you by choosing to clean her plate.

Is it possible that it is the "war" that is causing the problem? Even on a subconcious level, bad attention for a kid is better than no attention at all...
Unless she has health problems or is very underweight (in which case, your pediatrician may have advice), you might try putting her food in front of her and let her be. When you are done eating, or when she is acting finished with her dinner, ask if she wants to eat more, and if you don't get a yes, put her dinner in the fridge and excuse her from the table. If she fusses that she is hungry later, out comes the dinner with absolutely no fanfare, and she can sit at the table while you are doing something else in the kitchen that doesn't give her your attention, and try again. In the meantime, do whatever you can to pretend that she isn't just ripping your heart out by not eating! Good luck.

At this age it is not that important to force them to eat. Children are smarter than adults in this area and they know when they are hungry and when they are not. My children all went through a stage where they wouldn't eat and then all of a sudden they would eat everything in the house, and then again they would not eat. At this age they eat when they are going through a growth spurt and when they are not then they cut way back on their food. I wouldn't force her to eat and just watch how her eating habits change as she grows.

I had the same problem with my son, who is now 4. With a little patience My husband and I were able to over come the problem. All we did was tell him that he had to take at least three bites of his dinner and he could be done. Keep in mind that we also allowed him to pick what three bites he got. He usually stuck with the veggies, but that was ok with us. I guess within a month he was eating really good.
The best piece of advice that I can give also, that was given to me, is that your daughter is not starving herdelf. When she is hungry she'll eat. If you would like to tak some please feel free to e-mail me at ____@____.com

Don't force her to eat. Have small portion size on a small plate. Finger foods are best, or just cut up into small pieces. Have them out at meal time, then put them away when meal time is over. Make sure she has plenty of fluids. When she gets hungry, she will eat a small piece at a time. Sometime they just want to play/do their own thing thing. Sometimes it is a control thing. And sometimes it is just a growing thing where they just don't eat much. My kids (4 of them) did the same thing. When they became hungry they ate, usually only one piece. But they were required to eat at the table with the family while the rest of the family ate. Then they could get down. Good luck, this is a frustrating time of development for the parent. CBD

I read in parenting magazine or something like that a few months back to kids get most of what they need inm calories by 3 in the afternoon so it is better to focus on a healthy breakfast, lunch and snacks and just use dinner as a social time. Since we started to approach dinner this way our daughter is trying all sorts of thing. We do put a little of everything on her plate and she is expected to try each thing. If she is hungry she eats if not she doesn't but when she leaves the table there is no other food (as I see it a reward for staying hungry) I always try to have something with dinner that I know she loves, like fruit. Good luck!

Little ones will not starve if they miss a meal or two. You have to be firm but if she really doesn't want to eat; get her down from the table and out of the room. If she's hungry at bedtime give her some of her supper. Be consistant. The minute she starts to fight you when she's eating, is the minute she's done eating. Get her down and tell her she can't have anymore.

Now, with my kids, who are older, if they fight at dinner, they don't have to eat but they don't get a snack until it's bedtime, either. Like I said, though, kids that little won't starve themselves. Good luck. And hopefully you get pg soon.

Hi T.,

I've always had trouble getting my daughter to eat (she's just about 2). I think the most important thing to remember is that they won't starve. I even called early intervention for help. What they told me (and it totally works) is to have scheduled meal times. Put out a varied, healthy plate of food, they eat what they eat, and you're not supposed to judge what they've eaten as good, bad, enough, not enough, etc. It is really HARD - don't get me wrong. I totally was the type to coerce my child into eating. We had toys at the table, tv, books, doing the airplane, anything to get her to eat! But, once I just put the food out and didn't make a lot of hoopla, things really improved. I give her three meals and two snacks. If she doesn't eat well at one meal, then, she usually chows down at the next. Just be sure not to feed her in between snacks/meals. Make sure you offer a good variety, so your child gets their rda of fruits, veggies, dairy, etc. Your job is to provide the food, their job is to eat what they want. Don't be shocked if she doesn't eat the first or second time you do it, but she'll get hungry and she'll eat. You will have such peace of mind when you watch your kid suddenly feed themselves and totally dive in when their hungry without "war". Its totally worth it. And if you're worried, talk to your pediatrician about a multivitamin and other strategies you can use.

Good luck. I know, it's totally stressful, but you'll get through it!

J.

I have a six year old and two year old (both girls). My parenting mantra is "it is almost always a phase-it will pass and there will be a new dilemma!" This seems to apply to so much-throwing food at meal time, waking during the night, etc. It is very rarely FOREVER. Both of my girls go through phases where they do not eat. After spending many evenings of fighting, forcing, and frustration I decided to only insist on a few main foods-for example, lowfat string cheese, no sugar added applesauce, yogurt, fruits, vegetables or anything healthy they were willing to eat. However, on each evening only one of each food group were choices so that we were not having a buffet. I also made sure they were drinking often for hydration and tried to supplement in their drinks if possible. They really will eat if they are hungry. My theory is that whether or not they are in a "growth spurt" or if their level of activity has changed, their appetite varies also. My two year old has been in this phase lately too, but last night she had seconds of lasagne! I feel like, if they are least getting a small combo of protein,fruits and veggies, and dairy, they will let you know if they need more. I hope this helps (sorry my reply is so long!)

I went to a training seminar at my old job about kids and eating, and the one thing I remember is that eating is a common power struggle with parents and children. The instructor said that it is up to the parents to decide what to eat, when to eat, and where to eat. It is up to the kids to decide if and how much they will eat. Since hunger is a natural consequence of not eating, you don't have to worry about a consequence if your daughter doesn't eat. Just be firm that there is nothing else to eat until a bedtime snack.
I have had very little food fights with my two-year old twins; the hardest thing is getting them to try something new. My rule is that they need to have one bite of everything before they can get down. My kids are both healthy and don't lack for variety of food or anything.
Good luck!

I was just talking to a friend last night who said her son did this. She finally took him to the doctor because they honestly could not get him to eat. He's normally a very easy kid. The doctor started him on reflux medicine. I don't think we talked about what he's on. Anyway, it fixed his appetite immediately and dinners aren't a war anymore. I hope you figure out something!

I have a 4 year old and he will not eat the same things that we do. I really don't push the issue since he is skinny already. He loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. That is healthy for him and easy to make. Sometimes I tell him that we are eating "Krabby Patties" for dinner and that works once in a while. I really don't mind making him something special for dinner. Once he starts school I am going to tell him that he is a big kid now and the rules say that he has to eat at the table with the big kids and eat the same food.

I have had three kids and they all semm to be about the same. They go through different eating cycles and growth spurts have a lot to do with eating habits. Your daughter is just exhibiting a lot of independence. Sometimes I get healthy treats and use them as a reward. The best advice is to work with the child and not against her.

You might be fighting a losing battle... but you can win if you don't "fight" it. What we do with our kids is let them eat as much as they can or want from their plate at dinner time. When dinner is over, the plates get picked up and that's it. If they finished their dinner, they can have "dessert" (whatever that is in your home). If they didn't finish, they don't get anything else for the night, even if they are "starving". When they go to bed, sure they might be hungry, but we reinforce that they need to eat their dinner... we say "I would be too if I hadn't eaten my dinner. We'll make a big breakfast for you in the morning." This is the natural consequence of their choice to not eat dinner. You cannot make her eat, but you can teach her to natural consequence of her decision not to eat. Let her eat as much as she wants, leave her be, she won't starve herself, she won't become malnourished. She'll go to bed hungry a few nights and will soon realize she can make a different decision. Do not cave if she cries later in the evening that she's hungry. This is straight from the book Love & Logic... I highly recommend it. Our kids are now 6 & 8 and understand how their decisions have natural consequences.

S.

I hope this isn't repeat info, but I don't have time to read all of the responses.

I have had similar problems with my 3 year old. My sister (a nurse) sent me the information below. I have tried it and it has made worlds of difference. You might give it a try. Best of luck!

Maybe you think it's part of your job to make your child eat. It's not. It's your job to give healthy foods at regular meals and snacks. It's your child's job to eat it!
For example, say your child refuses to eat. You have tried everything in the past, reasoning, threatening, bribing. What would happen if you let the child assume the responsibility for not eating? What would be the natural consequence of not eating? Going hungry, (without a lecture on the starving children of the world.) The child won't keep this behavior up for long if you act generally unconcerned. Serve the dinner for example and make no comments. When everyone in the family has finished eating, remove the plates and again say nothing. Do not serve the child food again until the next meal. If the child starts to groan and moan from hunger pains later, calmy and pleasantly tell the child you are sorry she is hungry and the next meal will be served in a few hours.
Children really want to have control over something and what they eat is the number one control issue. Assuming that your child is healthy, and has been growing well up to this point, you have to learn to trust that his body will tell him when he needs to eat, and that he will not starve. You should offer nutritious meals and snacks (generally three meals and two snacks per day are standard at this age), but do not feel that you have to make up for the skipped meal with extra food later. If the child is not interested in what is being offered, don't get into an argument, don't try and cajole him or force him to eat. Just end the meal at the appropriate point and take the food away. You should not offer him something else an hour later or give him an extra bedtime snack just because he missed the previous meal. If you do, that just tells him that he can continue to refuse to eat and eat whenever he wants.

That said, you do want to give him some control in this whole situation (Can you imagine how unhappy you would be if someone else cooked all of your meals but you never had any say in what was being prepared!). You can give him a choice. For instance, ask him, "Do you want peanut butter and jelly or bologna for lunch?" If you make bologna and then he says he does not want to eat it, he'll just have to wait until the next meal to eat something.

Also, don't only make foods that you know he hates. If two of the components of the meal that you are making are things you know he doesn't like, try and make the third thing (one of the side dishes) something you know that he will eat and like. You can thus give him a larger portion of that side dish and smaller portions of the things he doesn't like and encourage him to eat in that way. At this age it is important to offer a variety of foods and to try new foods periodically. Kids are very picky at this age and often will have spurts of interest in one particular food for a period of time and then subsequently not have an interest in that food anymore and then develop a new "favorite food."

T.

I had a company in Chicago called Kiddy Cuisine before I moved to HR. Ironically, as a Chef and business owner my kids won't each anything. There are a few things I have found that help.
1 - let them help you....a little and they are more interested
2 - if that doesn't work, I had my kids pick 3 things they wanted to eat...ie, apples, oatmeal and chicken and then they got to choose it....still a form of being involved and I lead them to the choices
3 - we started taking a supplement called VEMMA that is vitamins & minerals plus a lot more and they are now getting the nutrition they need and with their vitamins and minerals in balance they are eating a LOT more. What happens when your body is in balance food tastes better and I can now get them to eat regular food and the fights are almost gone. This worked to well that I have referred it to a number of friends and family. If you want to talk more, call me ###-###-#### (J.) and I can walk you through all these ideas. This was the most stressful part of parenting so I feel your pain. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

You might really like the book "My child Won't Eat!" It's published by La Leche League and you could order it at www.llli.org or borrow it for free at one of their meetings. I got a lot out of it.
Also, my pediatrician told me kids that don't eat much at meals tend to be drinking a lot of their calories, so consider cutting back if there's anything except water or watered-down juice in a sippy cup or such. Good luck!

I agree with most of the other moms who have responded. Don't engage in this power struggle with your daughter, just offer her healthy, nutritious food at regular intervals throughout the day and let her eat what she wants. Kids this age don't need the same caloric intake they needed when they were younger and growing at a faster rate, their little stomachs are only around the size of their fists, so a small amount of food will fill your daughter up. She won't starve herself, so try not to worry.

Walk away from the table.

I noticed that you state "until I feel she's eaten enough". Its her tummy though, so how can you be absolutely certain she's had too much or not enough? Kids have huge swings in appetite, sometimes they survive on air, sometimes you wonder how they can pack so much food into their little systems. Its what they do, trust her body. Don't set her up for eating issues. Just walk away.

As a lot have stated, as long as you give her a plate with healthy options there's no reason to argue. Some days they may eat only protein, some days carbs. Try to look at her eating pattern over a week rather than a single day. And supplement with a multivit if so inclined.

Kids instinctively know if they are hungry and won't starve.
Their appetites vary all the time, believe me. Make sure you aren't catering to her on just favorites, what you serve for dinner is what you serve. Give her the option to eat or get down.
If she comes back hungry pull back out dinner and reheat it.
Make sure you aren't giving her a lot of snacks during the day especially close to dinnertime. I have to cut off snacks by 3:00 so my kids will eat a good dinner at 5:00.

Don't force her to eat, that will be a power struggle and set up unhealthy eating habits. You can keep her at the table just as that is family time until everyone is done too. Just remind her if she doesn't finish her dinner, she gets nothing else later. Be matter of fact and put it back in her court.

This works like a charm and the few times you stick to your guns then it will be amazing how well it works. My son has gone to bed pretty hungry a few times but now it is a breeze to have him sit down at dinner and eat. It isn't mean but teaching her mealtime is just that. It also curbs overly picky eating habits.

I don't make either of my kids completely clean their plates, though they typically do for the most part and I make sure the portions are around what I know they are capable of eating and that the healthiest stuff on their plate is gone.

try being firm in a loving manner and say things like "would you like peas or carrots tonight?" " milk or water?" then have hersit at the table with you and tell her dinner is over at 6:30 or whatever time (show her what this looks like on a clock. when that time is up announce dinner is over, say nothing else, and clear her plate. this is a jim fay method. i recommend his stuff! he's amazing!