4 Yr Old and Naps

Updated on September 03, 2009
L.R. asks from Concord, MI
29 answers

He used to be real good about taking his nap and it was usually an hour and half to two hours long. The last week he just wont go to sleep . He goes to bed at 9pm and up around 8 am but he gets up a lot of times in the middle of the night and climbs in my bed.
When do kids start doing without the naps? I even try bribing him if he sleeps I will take him swimming, he lays there but wont sleep.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the great advice as usual, wouldnt you know as soon as I write he has napped the last two days so i will continue his quiet time and if he naps its a bonus.
I am sure I will be calling on ya all again :)

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D.H.

answers from Detroit on

Hello L..

there is a site "Child sleep Center" with Dana Obleman that I have found to be helpful when it comes to sleep questions. I have gotten info from it that has helped. You don't have to buy the program unless you want to. Give it a try it may help.It's called "The Sleep Sense Program" www.sleepsense.net

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K.C.

answers from Detroit on

Hi L.,

As many here, my son stopped napping at 2. We still try do quiet time though. Even if it's for 30 minutes.

My son wakes up often here at night. We put a digital clock in his room and tried to set a ground rule that he has to stay in bed until the clock says 7:00. We reward him with stars on the fridge for each time he stays in bed until 7:00. Once he's earned 3 stars, we do something special. Like go to the library, bake cookies together, or go swimming.

My husbands travels about 95% of the year out of state, so there are times that I will let him crawl into bed with me. Having daddy gone that much is hard on him.

Hang in there!

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D.F.

answers from Detroit on

All three of my kids stopped napping at 3 years. Maybe if you skip the nap he could go to bed by 8:00.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

Kids out grow naps...my son is 5 and around 4 stopped napping at home...but will still nap at school. If he won't nap...don't force a nap, but require "quiet time". He can sit in his room for 60-90 minutes and read books, play quietly with toys (matchbox cars on the bed), watch a DVD (we let my son use the portable DVD player for this). Sometimes when I know he needs a break I'll let him watch a video in my bed.

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A.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hello there - sorry, but he's absolutely ready to drop his nap and has shown you that in no uncertain way! You're actually lucky his naps lasted this long - my kids dropped theirs at around two and a half. Going to bed at 9pm and getting up at 8am sounds reasonable. Is it a problem for you if he comes into your bed - my six-year-old often comes into my bed but then goes straight back to sleep - my older kids did the same, and just grew out of it. If it's not a big problem for you, just let him stay with you instead of keep sending him back - you might both get more sleep. He might just need some reassurance that you're there or he's having bad dreams. Good luck - Alison

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M.H.

answers from Detroit on

My eldest son stopped napping at just two years old. He literally just stopped napping one day and nothing I did would persuade him to sleep. I figured he no longer needed it but did have him take quiet time for an hour in the afternoon. He could look at books but no playing, no tv etc. My youngest has just turned four and still will take a nap from time to time but generally no longer needs one, he will fall asleep in the car though if we're out and about in the afternoon. My guys sleep from 8pm until about 7am (they wake up on their own). I think different kids need different amounts of sleep. Your grandson sleeps for 11 hours at night, which is good. I would just have him take some quiet time in the afternoon. If he is getting obviously tired earlier in the evening you could always adjust his bedtime so it's a bit earlier to make up for the lack of napping.
Good luck

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M.F.

answers from Detroit on

you are lucky my boys stoped at age 3 my bothers stoped at 3 as well but they do need down time (mom needs her time to recharge) so we would let them watch tv or read books or just chill in their room for an hour something calming

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V.H.

answers from Detroit on

My twins stopped before they turned 2 - you are lucky to have got to age 4 with him!!

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

Sounds like he is done with the naps. My daughter stopped taking naps at about 2 1/2 and so did my older son, but the little one will go all the way to 4 (i think).

Remember, it takes 2 weeks for a kids to adjust to a new nap schedule. So give him and you a break during that time, he will be cranky. Do some quiet time when his nap would be, and change the evening bedtime to 8pm. That's what I would do. Hope this helps.

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K.H.

answers from Detroit on

Keep up the good work! Like others, I would suggest a "quiet time" for an hour where he has to stay in his room, but can do quiet activities like read or color or play quietly and tell him if he feels tired he should try to take a nap. I think that just changing the terminology from nap time to quiet time will help you both get a break.
Best of luck!!!

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F.W.

answers from Detroit on

It seems like you ahve a lot of great responses to the nap thing, but if getting into your bed is a problem at night, I can share what I did with my children: I put a sleeping bag under my bed and told them that if they needed to come to me they weren't allowed to get into our bed, but they could pull out the sleeping bag and sleep there. It was a phase that lasted a couple of months, and at least I got some sleep!

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S.H.

answers from Detroit on

Hi L.,
My daughter is not yet 4, but she has not taken naps for quite awhile now. Occasionally she will fall asleep when we are driving somewhere, but that is about it. She also goes to bed around 9 and wakes at 8ish and does at times get up in the middle of the night. All kids are very different regarding napping. I will require "quiet time" of my daughter... she will go to her room to "rest", but she will "read" books and play, and as long as she stays in her room for awhile, I've just accepted it. Good luck and have fun raising your grandson :-)
S.

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C.S.

answers from Kalamazoo on

You are lucky! My son is also 4 and he gave up regular naps at 2.5. I still give him "quiet time" in his room every afternoon and occasionally he sleeps if he's especially tired. I think it just depends on the child and how much sleep they need, but if he is not sleeping he may be ready to give up the naps.

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L.W.

answers from Detroit on

My 4 year old little boy still naps in the afternoon on most days (sounds like I am lucky)- you have to pay attention to any cues that your grandson is tired - whether his behavior changes, he gets sassy, he looks tired - I then tell my son that he has to go for a "rest" - he tells us he is not going to sleep, just a "rest" - 9 times out of 10 he is sleeping within minutes. On the days when he doesn't seem tired, a good routine is to make him go sit/lay down on his bed and read or play quietly for an hour or so -- I think you posted a question before about preschool - they will do this there as well, so it is a good idea to continue it at home on his "home" days so you keep his routine going. Good luck!

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C.L.

answers from Detroit on

Hi L.,

Your grandson might be over naps. My son quit taking naps at 2 1/2 yrs old and my daughter who is only 2 yrs old is over them as well. Maybe he will go for quiet time in his room for an hr for you? I have some friends whose kids never really napped. I think it's more on an individual basis. Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

My children sleep much better if they are physically tired and not just mentally tired. Have him do alot of running around, play outside with him catch or bounce the ball, go on a play stucture, hit a ball with a plastic bat etc.
Good luck

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D.C.

answers from Detroit on

You are SO lucky he has napped THIS long lol...my 4 kids stopped taking by the time they were 3! Bedtime may come an hour or so earlier...but don't expect him to nap any more...only maybe if has been a real tiring day or event(s).

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C.P.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter stopped napping at two. But, she had to have "quiet time". She could read books,play with dolls, exc. The rules were, she had to stay in bed and stay quiet. I continued this through kindergarten. Oh ya, no electroinics during "quiet time". I would also explain to her that I need "quiet time". Good luck!

D.B.

answers from Detroit on

God bless the Grandpa with a four y.o. that still naps! My son gave up naps entirely by three. AND he routinely stays up until 10:00 and wakes by 8:30. Some kids need lots of rest, some can get by without. Sounds like he may be ready to give up the naps though. However, you can still enforce "rest time" or "quiet time". Because, quite frankly, sometimes the parents (or in this case, grandparents) still could use a bit of a break from the very active pre-schooler. This works great for my son, gives him a chance to recharge and let lunch settle in his tummy. It can be as simple as sitting quietly and coloring or like a 1/2 hour of cartoons. The point is, its quiet. There have even been a few times when I've gotten my son to just lie quietly in his bed and "relax" for a 1/2 hour to and hour. This is especially handy in the summer months when the heat completely zaps their energy.

I've got a "night stalker" too LOL! He wakes up and comes looking for mom three or four times a night. And to be honest, I think that this makes for really broken sleep for everyone involved. I have no advice on that particular matter, as I'm in the same boat.

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T.M.

answers from Detroit on

Congratulations, Grandpa - I commend you for taking on this challenge of raising your 4-year old grandson! Sounds like you're already doing great! As for the naps, I think you should count your blessings - most children don't nap at age 4 - 3 is when they start getting away from them. I would suggest just getting him into bed earlier so that he gets the right amount of sleep each day. Good luck & again, good for you!

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S.W.

answers from Detroit on

dear L.,

i hate to say it but my DS out grew his naps around 4. initiating any change to a schedule for a little one can always have its challenges. it also sounds like he might be having a growth spurt. often, when my son is in need of more snuggling and that sort of attention, he is having a growth spurt and needs additional attention and reassurance. i am sure he is on the right track. best of all to you both!

S.

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

your lucky he still takes a nap mine stopped at 2 in half. I am lucky if i get quiet hr. I thik 4 taking a nap is crazy but thats my feelings I think after there 4 if they stop wanting to nap it should be ok. Now the bed thing you might want to say if he needs ro come see you and sleep he can but on the floor. Hes not aloud in the bed.

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D.S.

answers from Detroit on

Your grandson is probably out-growing naps. It is sad for you, but great for him - he will go to kindergarden in another year and they usually have rest time, but no naps. You were lucky he kept taking the naps this long - I don't think any of mine did! He might need a nap every now and then, but probably nothing regular or consistent!

As for the night sleeping - I have no answers, I can only pray for you! Our 7 year old still gets up some nights and gets in bed with us. Hang in there!

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L.J.

answers from Detroit on

my daughter stopped taking regular naps a few months past her 4th b-day. seh would still take naps once in a while, and even now she is 6 i find that some days she needs a nap.

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D.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

L.; he sounds like the perfect little 4 year old, just have fun with him as much as possilbe and enjoy these days, they will be gone soon, if coming in your room is hard for you , we used to put a little mattress under our bed and it was all made and then once they were a sleep i would put them on the floor on their own little space, meanwhile, just enjoy life, and he seems to be fine, he loves his world around him adn wants to be in it as much as possible, thats a good thing, enjoy D. s

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J.P.

answers from Detroit on

He is right about that age where naps either become really short or not at all. You might want to skip nap time all together and just put him to bed earlier. He might be getting up a little earlier once this becomes routine but that will get him ready for school when he turns 5. What I do with my kids (I have a 5 year old who hasn't napped for well over a year and a 6 year old who naps daily) is have "rest time". Everyday from 1:00-2:00 is quiet time. THey have to stay in their beds and either sleep or "read". My son has a lot of puzzle books to occupy him. If he's really tired he;ll fall asleep and if not a little quiet time never hurt anyone. I also give them digital clocks in their bedrooms so they know what time they can get up. Good luck to you and I hope you find something to work for you two!

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

How exciting that you are raising your grandson - good for you! A lot of preschoolers give up their naps. Some do, some don't. Not a lot you can do about it. You can have a "quiet time". I used to take mine to the library to take out books every week during morning hours, and part of the reason was for them to have books to explore during quiet time. I also read to them a lot but made sure to get some that were loaded with pictures they chose as interesting to them. Often I'd read a book or two first to them, then leave them to "read" to themselves for 30-60 minutes depending on their tolerance for it. Occasionally they'd fall asleep but often not. I also had 1 that slept every day after kindergarten and sometimes after first grade too. Go figure!

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A.M.

answers from Detroit on

Wow! You are very lucky that he has taken naps for this long. I'm jealous! ha My 5 year old daughter gave up naps several years ago... We did quiet time in her room for a while after she stopped napping-she had to stay in her room and play by herself for a little while. I used to tell her that she could nap, or play quietly, but she needed to stay in her room for that 30 minutes. It helped me adjust to the no naps and gave me a little break while we both adjusted.
Good Luck!
A.

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C.G.

answers from Detroit on

My kids are 3 and 5 and neither one naps regularly anymore. I require them to have "quiet time" in their rooms for about an hour, but I usually hear book "reading" or playing, at least its a little down time for you and the child. Good luck, but I think regular naps may be a thing of your past.

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