3 Y/o Flower Girl?

Updated on November 09, 2009
T.L. asks from Fresno, CA
12 answers

I am getting married Dec 5, 2009. I am wanting to have my 3 y/o daughter be my flower girl. is this a ridiculous notion? she will be almost 3.5 since she turned 3 in july. should i just pass on this idea? any advice is much appreciated.

THANK YOU!!!!

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H.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Do it!! It will be fun, and so sweet- IF she is okay with it. Just don't have any expectations- if she does great, great! If she has stage fright, expect that and roll with it. My daughter was 2 when she was a flower girl in her uncle's wedding, and they knew what they were getting- no expectations, and everyone will be happy. Congratulations and good luck1

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H.D.

answers from San Francisco on

IMO, pass. Nothing worse than having your kid see all those faces staring at her, sitting in the aisle and crying. Dress her pretty, take pictures with mommy and leave it at that.

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E.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Go with your instincts - you know your little girl best and would know better than anyone how she would feel in a situation like a wedding. IMO it would depend on the child and on the size of the wedding - if it's a fairly small gathering with mostly close family and friends she already knows, probably she'd be fine, but if you've got several hundred people in a huge hall, that might be a bit too scary ;-).

One of my good friends had her 3YO niece and hubby's 3YO nephew as flower girl and ring bearer. Flower girl got partway down the aisle and then ran to grandma, ring bearer was pretty much dragged down the aisle on the leg of the best man, but the wedding went along fine and if anything the guests thought it was a cute moment. So like others have said, be prepared for things to go 'not quite according to script' if you've got little ones involved.

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

Like the other moms said, I think it's a great idea, but it depends upon your child. My older daughter was a flower girl at that age and took her rose-petal-scattering duties very seriously. She was adorable and everything turned out great. However, when a friend asked if my younger daughter would serve as her flower girl (she was 3 at the time), I said no - my younger one is somewhat unpredictable and is prone to freaking out at odd moments. I didn't want to have to threaten/bribe/coerce her down the aisle or risk ruining my friend's wedding! So, just depends on the individual child's personality. Being that it's your wedding and you'll be right there, she will probably be fine!

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter recently got married. She had her 2 1/2 year old daughter as her flower girl. It turned out wonderful. We had her nine year old half sister walk down the aisle with her. The girls did a beautiful job.

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G.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I dunno, but be careful about having any little boy hold your trane. My nephew gathered my trane up into a smashed mess and held it like a football!

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi Trish,

This is your big day and perhaps your first wedding??? I recommend ring bearers and flower girls be at least 6. The little ones look cute but can and DO implode without warning. This is something that can HALT the ceremony and/or spoil the moment.

Have a trusted relative or friend be in charge of your little one on your wedding day.

I wish you all the best in your new marriage.

Blessings....

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

It's a wonderful idea. And you can have your wedding any way you want to.

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J.S.

answers from Sacramento on

go for it my daughter was a flower girl this summmer and she had just turned 4.she liked it alot just show her movies or videos of other flower girls and explain it to her.im pretty sure she will like it. have someone help you with her during the wedding just in case

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J.A.

answers from Sacramento on

I think it really depends on the child and how you think she will handle it. My daughter is going to be a flower girl in my brother's wedding in March and she will just be 3 in January. She will be with her just 6 year old sister. When my brother asked me asked how I thought she would do. I felt that she would be more upset that her sister was doing it and she wasn't so it was better for her to be one as well. Now, I won't be the bride or in the wedding myself...so I will be able to take care of them if needed. So if you think your daughter can handle it and you have someone to take care of her then go for it. Chances are no matter what you decide, she will still be part of your wedding since she is your child....a flower girl really doesn't have too much responsibility...chances are you will have her wear a special dress either way.

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

This is absolutely NOT ridiculous. If I were getting married and had a 3 yr. old daughter, I would definitely want her in my wedding. I would feel funny having other children in my wedding instead of my own. Having your daughter be the flower girl would be beautiful. I realize that some people feel the children participating in wedding ceremonies should be older, but this is different because it's your own daughter.

I had three flower girls in my wedding. One was 3 1/2 and the other two were only 2 yrs. old. Yes, I knew there was a chance that none would participate when the time came. I knew that, and I didn't let it bother me. When the ceremony came, one of the 2 yr. olds didn't want to walk down the aisle. Her mom was standing by, took her, and they both went and sat down. It didn't bother me, and everything worked out fine. Best wishes to you!

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

We had two young ring carriers in our wedding and what we were told was to not expect it to happen. One issue you may have is that you will not be up there yet. Usually you have the children walk to their parent. I would plan on it, but not expect it and make sure you have someone who is willing to hold her or take her out of the room if she gets fussy.
Best of luck and congratulation!
C.

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