2 1/2 Year Old Will Not Sleep in Her Own Bed

Hi Jen,

Have you tried putting Jordan's crib/bed in Tylers room? So they can go to sleep together? You might want to pretend to go to sleep in the same room...and then sneak out...Worked for me...Hope it will help...

Cath

Hi J.,

You have to do what's right for you and your baby. My 22 month old son sometimes will sleep in his own bed, and sometimes he sleeps in my bed. I was really worried about his sleeping in my bed until my husband and I noticed that the nights we insist he sleeps in his own bed are the nights that everyone is more tired and cranky because we don't actually sleep. We've tried everything- crying it out (which did not taper off and actually, his cries became more hysterical, so we figured he's probably afraid due to bad dreams or such), talking/reasoning with him, buying a cool bed, only allowing the pacifier in his bed, etc. The truth of the matter is that sometimes he sleeps the entire night in his bed, and other times he can't fall asleep unless he's in my bed, or he will go to sleep in his own bed and come to mine in the middle of the night. Good friends shared with me that their now grown, very independent and confident children didn't sleep in their own beds until they were 4 or 5...and I myself shared a bed with my mother until I was about 6, so that made me feel better. Plus many cultures around the world don't even think of this bed thing as an issue! The bottom line for me is that my son will only sleep at night when he feels safe, and whenever he fights sleeping in his own bed, there's some reason (though it's not always clear). I figure that if I validate his need to feel safe now, it'll pay off with even more nights on his own later. Good luck! (and point your husband to the nearest couch the next time he gets upset!)

I found getting my son to sleep in his own bed to be pretty hard.I tried several ways but at 2 1/2 Iwas about to start working FT and this bed situation of him in ours was not working anymore. We bought a winnie-the-pooh toddler bed and he helped daddy put it together. I explained to him how he has to sleep in his new bed from now on.He picked toys to have in the bed with him and had night lights on. I put him down and he would get up so I calmly told him every time you sleep in your new bed now. It was a long 4-5 night I won't lye it was hard but with in 5 days he was more adjusted. I think just being consistant is most important. Good luck

Hello J.,

I'm sorry to tell you, but the best way sometimes to train a child is to let her cry. Eventually she will fall asleep, she won't be awake everynight all night. You are the one that sets rules, no your daughter. I have a 2 year old daughter and since she was 4 months old we trained her to sleep in her own bed, at the beginning she cried for hours, but my husband get in to her room (because I was breastfeeding at that time) and talked to her every 15 minutes, sang to her. So she could know that we didn't abandon her and let her know that we love her. Sometimes she wakes up at the middle of the night, we go to her room and talked to her but she knows that she'll come back to her bed, we never took her to our own bed, because they love to be there with mom & dad. she woke up a lot in a period of 2 weeks, but after she noticed that she cannot succeed and she came back to her rutine always in her bed. I hope this can help you... Good luck Sylvia

Jen,
I had/have the same problem. What we did and are doing that seems to be working.
We took our 3 1/2 yo son TJ out, he got to pick out his new bed, sheets pillow etc,or just go surprise her with her favorite theme. we do not push going to bed in there, we started just putting him in there after he fell asleep in our room, with a nightlight on, a bright one, then the last couple of nights he has fallen asllep in there on his own at night watching his TV.
Some parents are againist a TV in the room, I think it is a lifesaver, it's just a small one but it makes him enjoy "his" room more. He will slill creep in our room between 5-6 in the am, sometimes I put him back in his bed sometimes I don't but this has been working for us and my husband and I aren't fighting about anymore, and it was a VERY touchy subject in our house!!!!
Good luck.

Hi Jen :)

We practice attachment parenting, so I'll just offer my take and you can do what you want :)

But it sounds like she might be going through a developmental stage where she needs a little extra reassurance. From what I read, children rarely sleep consistently in their own beds even until they are 3 years old - that is, they might do it a bunch of nights, but they go through stages like your daughter seems to be doing where they break the rhythm and need a little extra help. Of course you probably have asked yourself if there are any new changes or stressors in her life that might make her uneasy. Maybe she's having bad dreams (?)

My advice would be to let her sleep with you a few nights, if she comes in the middle of the night, then start taking her to her room at bedtime instead and help her fall asleep, with you there, in her own bed. Or during the day, play in her room to make it a fun place again where she wants to be :) Then at night, when you are comforting her off to sleep, maybe the message will reiterate itself that bed is a safe place, mommy is a cry away, and it's going to be ok. It's temporary - everyone ends up in their own beds sooner or later :) www.askdrsears.com is a website I like for advice on this kind of stuff :)

H.

HI Jen,

My name is J. and I also have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. She will go to sleep in her bed but wakes up every night to eventually come sleep with us. My daughter is into Dora the explorer so much that now I have her trained to fall asleep to Dora in the living room then put her in bed and if she wakes up in night then I put her in living room with blanket and pillow to Dora again. Alot of people would say that I am giving in and we need to be tougher but for the time being it is keeping her from being in bed with us. My thought process on this is eventually she will go longer in bed without needing Dora and or eventually as she understands more and is older then we can give tougher love.

Hi J.,

My son too likes our bed more! We just moved out to Rio Rancho and Julian got his new cool tent bed with a slide. Cool right??? Who wouldn't want to sleep in a bed like that? Julian! He said he likes his bed to play in but he likes my bed more. At first we had a hard time getting him to sleep in his room at all. So we would make him a bed on our floor next to our bed. I needed, for my back's sake, a strict bedtime ritual which is pajamas at 8:45, a big book then "Good Night Moon" or "Guess how much I love you." in his room. He has to be in his bed to hear the story. At first there was a little resistance but eventually with some practice we both got used to it. That worked for about a month... then we decided to let him watch a favorite movie as he falls asleep after his books. So every night he watches Madagascar while he falls asleep (sometimes it something else but mainly Madagascar.) That had worked for about 5-6 months.

But for the past couple weeks, I find this little person poking me in the middle of the night climbing into my bed. So I guess it is just a process for each of us to try and try again till something eventually works... then when they get bored with it try something else! Hang in there (I don't know if my back can) and let me know any thing you have tried that maybe I haven't thought of yet!
Good Luck
Kym

My son wouldn't stay in his bed after we changed the crib to a toddler bed, he thought since he could climb out he didn't have to go to bed so we ended up having to turn the door knob around so he couldn't open the door to his room. Sometimes he ends up falling asleep behind the door but when he wakes he gets himself up and goes to his bed. When he was little I put him in his own room, and he would cry himself to sleep, but I wanted him to learn to go to sleep on his own in his bed. It worked very well for us, and he had to adjust when we switched his bed but now he does just fine.

I hear this a lot from moms, that their child only wants to sleep in their bed and that the husbands get really mad about it. The reality is you have a child now, and your husband's feelings need to be on the backburner. My first child slept with us until she was five. It wasn't ideal, but she would freak out if left alone, and there is no choice when that happens. My two year old sleeps with us now.

Our lives have changed with children, and if your daughter needs to sleep with you, what real harm does it do? You sleep, she sleeps. It benefits all! Who benefits when a child is screaming at the top of her lungs?

Your daughter obviously knows that if she cries hard enough you will eventually come and get her. You need to go ahead and let her cry, explain to her when you put her down for bed that she needs to sleep in her own bed. Try to read to her before bed to get her relaxed. Don't give in and let her sleep in your bed, you are not doing her any favors, she is too old to be sleeping with you and your husband and it's not fair to your marriage! I remember those days and I know how hard it is to hear your child cry, but each night the crying won't last as long as the night before and eventually there will be no crying. Just have patience....it might take a week or even a few weeks, just be consisten. Remember that you are not doing this to be mean you are doing this because it's the right thing to do and it's your job as a parent. Good luck =)