Late Night Wake up Call to...musical Beds!

S.-

I had a similar problem with both of my boys. I started by letting my son fall asleep in my bed with me and then I would move him back to his own bed. I did this until he was in a toddler bed (around age 2). After that, I would lay down in his bed with him until he fell asleep. I did that for a few weeks and then shifted to just sitting on the floor with my head on his bed. Then I sat on the floor and rested my arm on the bed... then just my hand... then just me sitting. Then I shortened the amount of time I was sitting. After a while I would just be there for a minute and then I'd tell him "mom has to go (insert plausable excuse here), I'll be right back". And I would go for a couple of minutes and then check in on him. I gradually increased the amount of time I was gone. Eventually we got to the point where I could do his bedtime routine, leave the room, and he would sleep through the night with hardly any problems. This was a very long, gradual process. I did a similar process with my second son, but not quite as long or involved. My third child (my baby girl) has had almost no problems sleeping on her own. I haven't had to do this with her (thankfully). This was the gentlest, most gradual technique I found.

Hope you found some of this helpful. Good luck to you!

-B.-

this is going to be rough for about 3 nights, but if you stay tough it will work: out of 5 kids I had at least two we had to do this with:

when she wakes up you go in and comfort her.. change her diaper if it needs it, give her a little water, makes sure she is okay with all that..then gently put her in bed, rub her back gently for a minute then walk out.. do not go back and pick her up if she cries.. let her cry for 5 minutes.. then go back and gently put her down again and rub her back (don't pick up and she probably doesn't need the diaper or something to drink this time) and then walk out again... this time stay out 10 minutes... if she is still crying - go back and do it again... staying 15 minutes this time. She should cry herself to sleep by this point. This worked with one of my kids within three nights - it was rough for us having to listen to him cry but we would hang tough. Another one was a bit tougher (but we later found out he had some food allergies). If she is still crying after the 15 minutes - get up with her read a book, give her a little warm milk but don't spend too long, just enough to get her settled, then lay her down again.. you might have to do the whole routine again... but after about 3 nights.. unless there is something else wrong... she should catch on... you will lose some sleep for a few nights and perhaps you can start on a day where you could take turns when you don't have to be at work the next day (your "weekend"). If you are sticking to the routine and it doesn't work, you may want to investigate what might be waking her up. but for now .. you are rewarding her cyring and waking by taking her to bed... in her mind why should she stop??? if it something else.. this routine won't work. If it is a security issue.. your coming in and reassuring her every 5, 10, then 15 minutes will help with that.

another thing is to maybe put some white noise in her room (run a humidifier, some soft music, one of those waterfall things) in her room - see if she has as soft blanket she likes and warm it up in the dryer before you put her to bed, or if there is a small stuffed animal she likes let her take it to bed with you.There are also these stuffed animals that have a little bag with beans or rice in them that you can remove and heat up then put back into the stuffed animal.. my daughter loves hers. There are many things that you can do to provide her comfort if it is a security issue. but you'll also have to teach her who is boss.. and right now when it comes time to getting her way and getting in bed with you. sounds like she is! (LOL) good luck.

I would keep her up till 8 and then put her to bed.

Our bed is the only place my son will sleep through the night too. As it turns out, he has Asbergers Syndrome. It is related to his condition that is why nothing worked for us either. It was a matter of him feeling safe. I figure when he is ready and feeling safe he will want his own bed, especially if another baby starts taking up room too. He recently told me he wants some bunk beds :) Hang in there and go with your GUT.

Hi S. -

I have an a 12 month old daughter that does the same thing. She goes down great in her crib for about 3 hours and then wakes up is tough to get back to sleep. We also bring her to our bed and she sleeps great once there. I can't say I have any great advice on this one (obviously). Just wanted to say that if it works for you don't stress about it. If you're all getting good sleep sometimes that's what is important. If it's really not working to have her in your bed the only way I have heard that works (but can't bring myself to do it) is to let her cry it out.
We actually have recently started just putting her in our bed and skipping the 2-3 hour crib thing all together because it was wearing me out. Our daughter is sleeping better and so are we. I am getting a little more time to decompress in evening. Who knows, I may be writing in a few months going why did I start this?! Somebody help! For now though, I think that they eventually grow out of it and are more ready to transition to their own beds. In the meantime your daughter is continuing her bonding time with mom and dad through the night and I think that's wonderful!

S.,

Really sucks doesn't it!?! Ultimately, you do have to let her cry it out. I would go in when she first wakes up and make sure she doesn't need a diaper change, no fever and is okay in all ways. I gave my son a sippy with water, gave him one good love and went back to bed knowing he was okay. I put my ipod on low volume so I could barely hear him (I was too worried I wouldn't hear something important if I had it up too loud) and tried to ignore him knowing he was okay and we would all be better off soon. It only took 2 nights and his crying didn't last too long. Hope it goes as smoothly for you!

did you try giving her one of your blankets so that she has that comfort? i've also heard of people making special beds in their room that's seperate from their bed so when their child wakes up, they're in the room with mom and dad, but not in the same bed. might help the transition. honestly, i had the same problem with my little girl, and was rather stressed about it because i worked full time and was already pregnant with baby number 2. it took us being consistant in how we handled her late night wake ups.. every night we rocked her back to sleep. even fell asleep in the chair occassionally. hope this helps. good luck.