I am a nanny for a 2 1/2 year old boy. I spend approximately 10-12 hours a day with him 5 days a week. All day long the majority of the time when I sit down he will jump all over me and hang all over me. He's even worse when his mom gets home from work. He will cry outside the bathroom door when Mom is in there and get's upset if she closes the door to her room so she can change. He also sneaks into bed with her at night. She is very exhausted when she gets home from work and loves to spend time with him, but I think she's a bit too tired to deal with him jumping all over her.
Does anyone have advice on how to redirect this behavior? I love the kid to death and I tend to be fairly patient when he climbs all over me. But sometimes he makes me feel like I'm going to go insane. I figure it's a good time to start educating him about personal space. Any thoughts or advice?
get him around other kids....& his focus will diffuse.
just be gentle in your wording, your actions, & your body language. Maybe start using the phrase, "big boy".
My heart goes out to you....this is a very sensitive issue. Good Luck!
Redirect redirect redirect....it is really perfectly natural for a child this age to be a little "clingy"...our 23 month old grandson and his Mama are here visiting right now and he doesn't want to be more than 2 feet from Mama about 75% of the time!!! Use some of the time that he is wanting to be touchy feely to just let him...read a book with him...color a picture with him...just have a "conversation" with him. But other times...encourage him to play independently...if you need to...get up and move to where the toys are and help him get started. Some children are just more clingy than others...I have one grandson who has ALWAYS wanted Mama involved in his play time...while my younger grandson has ALWAYS been very very independent...although he is the one who is VERY clingy right now. We just have to go with the flow.
I know its getting colder but if you can take him to an outing once a day, to interact with other kids, say the neighborhood park, or if Mommy alows it and would pay for it take him to one of those places where they have jumping castles and kids play dates and stuff or let him walk around chucky cheeze. He needs something to distract him that is more interesting than you.
if he has a blanky or a teddy, every time he climbs on you, go get it and try for it to be more interesting than your hip - take the teddy/toy/blankie and give it a personality, "talk in it's voice" and say, Hey buddy, wow you are sure a big boy now, come down and play with me... I would love a biiiiiiig hug!" and see what he does. He might just do this for spurts at a time, and it might wear off so be prepared... always try to divert his attention. If he is allowed TV and you HAVE to do something that cant wait, let him watch a bit of Barney or Elmo.
Hang in there
I think this kid needs MUCH MORE physical activity during the day.
I would say that you should not be sitting down unless you are feeding him. Spend very little time in the house. I have two boys and I am speaking from the experience. They could tolerate sitting for about 2 minutes at that age. The rest of the time they were running, climbing, throwing, kicking, you name it. Even now my 4.5 y/o is sitting for lunch after school and then he is out - to playground, playroom, activities, play-dates - every single day, I am not kidding. There is no downtime at all. At the end of the day - he hits the pillow and he is in the la-la land in a second.
If there is a downtime - he probably will climb on me and annoy me in other ways, but I always making sure there is no down time.
As far as for Mother's privacy, I do not see why she needs privacy with 2 y/o. I always changed in front of my kids when they were young (covering myself as appropriate) but we talked and the children were always with me at that time. I even took shower with the toddlers playing on the bathroom floor. I know that mother is tired but the boy has been waiting all day to see her - and what? no time with mommy? no cuddling in bed? I let my kids fall asleep with me and then I moved them to their bed.... child wants closeness from the Mother - very normal and healthy need.
If you keep him very active during the day, I think he will be less jumpy when mom gets home and maybe mom can give up some of her privacy for some time with her son.
Please remember he is only 2 1/2.... they want attention, alot of attention at that. He wants your attention when mom comes home, because you have been with him all day. Than he realizes that he wants mom because he hasnt seen her all day.They don't even understand the frustation they feel, let alone how to express it.
When my son was younger he was VERY CLINGY, I knew why but it sometimes didnt help the Claustrophobic feeling I would get.
I actually asked this question on mamasource, and some suggested I play the hide and seek game with him, to get him used to being alone in a room. It actually worked, I would peek behind a wall and poke my head out so he can see me, and gradually I would take longer to appear until he got used to it and comfotarble that I would come back (phewwww I finally could go to the bathroom in peace, lol)
But yes, if you talk to hi and say I will sit and talk to you for a few minutes, but than I have to go do this... he may feel not so anxious??
Good Luck, it will get easier!!
