My son has been super super super clingy lately and although I love him sooooo much and love that he loves me sooo much I am little overwhelmed at times. We recently welcomed home our daughter who is now 7 weeks old. I know that our son is reacting to the new arrival however, I need a little break from him always wanting to be held with out hurting his feelings. If anyone has any ideas on how to get him back to his normal non-clingy behavior I would appreciate it. Again I love my son very much but I cannot even take one step without him getting upset that I am moving two feet away from him. Thanks
I just wanted to let you know that my two-year-old is going through another one of those "can't be more than a foot away from mama" phases again, and he has no siblings. I am guessing that this will be a rubberband experience for a few years to come. I thought Kelli had some very good ideas...although I have to leave the house for a pedicure or something, because I can't bear to hear my son crying for me through the walls...
Hi A.,
Congrats on your little ones!
When baby sis is napping, spend some time cuddling and playing with your "big" boy. this reassures him that mommy still has time for him. Then (maybe) you'll be able to move away and do something else. Eventually they squirm away from cuddles and kisses; so though it does feel overwhelming now, this too shall pass.
could daddy keep both kids for 30 min so you could nap, walk, shower, whatever? just a thought.
Good luck
K. Z.
(mom to 2 teen boys)
Perhaps if you involve your son more in the care of his new baby sister he will be less clingy. Have him get you a new diaper or the baby wipes or a blanket etc. Tell him he is a great big brother stuff like that. He is missing you giving him all the attention.
I remember that feeling of being overwhelmed! Having two who depend on you is much more taxing than one. :) Being a SAHM is wonderful, but can be exhausting!!!
When I just needed a break after my daughter was born, my husband would keep the kids away from the bathroom door, and I would go take a 1/2 hour or hour and soak in the tub while reading a book. My son would fuss and cry that he couldn't be in the bathroom with me (he was 2), and my husband would help him find something else to do (wrestle around with daddy, read a book, put in a video, play outside, get out the trucks and push them around, etc.). I was able to tune out the crying/fussy kids for a little while because I would get into my book, and know my husband was capable of handling them.
My husband, Nate, was better at helping our son play in his room by himself for a little while (we kept a few safe toys in his room like trucks, blocks, shape sorters, Leap Pad, etc.). He would tell him he needed to play quietly in his room for a little while. Of course our son would start whining, and Nate would firmly tell him that he needed to go in his room and find something to play with, giving several suggestions. Eventually he would go, and end up entertaining himself for 15 or 20 minutes. Now he can be very independent, and we don't have to entertain him at all. We play games together and have lots of together time, but if we need to have adult time, we can tell our kids to play quietly in their rooms, and they will. We just had to help them learn how to do that.
I guess it boils down to having help. Recruit you husband to help give you a break - maybe every night after dinner - for a few minutes (even 10 minutes can give you a sense of sanity). Eventually, add time to it, like on weekends, get a two hour break with no kid responsibilities. As your son learns it's o.k. to be away from Mommy, you'll get the space you need, and he'll be better adjusted to situations like day care, church nursery, or school.
Good luck!!
My oldest did the same thing when I had my youngest. They are 2 years and 4 days apart. My oldest still gets clingy. What I find works with him is I give him 5-10 minutes of my undivided attention per day. Whether we are laying in bed snuggling just the 2 of us or just sitting on the couch together. He just needs to know that I am there for him. He is now 5 and he still needs that almost every day. When I don't give him his "special" time every morning I know the day is gonna be a little more whiney that day. Some kiddos just need a little more attention. That is something that we have found that works for us. You may need to try different things until you find one that works for your little guy. Best of luck.
Maybe he is clingy because of the new sibling. I would just include him in much as I could with baby care- invite him to help me even check on the baby napping then spend a little extra time with him, as in reading an extra book and in a few weeks, he will understand that he can be a little protector and helper with the baby. Just give him a little time with that. The second baby just got here!
