Has anyone ever had a child who loves to go to the potty at preschool/daycare but refuses to go at home? My daughter is 2 & 3/4 and does this. She will ask for a pull-up or pee in her pants at home. I have a Dora potty seat that goes on the toilet and also have a frog potty that sits on the floor. She doesn't want to use either one. I asked her when she peed in her pants why she won't use the potty and she said she's scared (of what??) but it seems to me she's just being lazy at home. Any ideas? Thanks in advance!
I so appreciate the advice I have received! At school there is just the regular ol toilet and a stool so we are trying that. She peed once so far in the toilet and has had two accidents in her underwear one pee and one poop. After the accidents she is now involved in the cleanup process and she gets cleaned off in the shower too. I am kind of getting the vibe that she wants to stay baby-like at home which is why she prefers to wear pull ups. She is one stubborn kiddo lol.
What does she go on at school? Find out their toileting routing and try to use the same at home.
My son is 4 and did this for a long time! He would do great out in public, but at home it was the exact opposite. We went to his 4 year well check earlier this month. His doctor said to up the ante a bit. Stop putting him in a nighttime diaper just once or twice a month for awhile to see how he does. If he would happen to have an accident, don't get mad or anything, but have him help with the cleaning up process. Instead of letting him lay somewhere in the room while you or dad change the dirty sheets, have her help with that process. So we tried it. We decided to give it a try that very night. He did great and went to the potty the next morning, so we decided he was done with underwear for good. That was Feb. 7th and I can count on one hand how many accidents he has had. It was like he just suddenly took complete ownership of it and refuses to go back to pull-ups. I think the doctor saying he was a big kid now that he should go on the potty had an impact. I also got him some underwear that looks just like what his dad wears which my son thought was ultra cool. Mostly I think it was we did it cold turkey, not knowing what would happen next and it has worked like a charm!
HTH,
A.
It's pretty common for a child to be totally happy going at school because it's what all the other kids are doing, but at home there is no one there but you. At 2 3/4 she is probably not very precise in putting her emotions into words, so I don't know if I would assume she is actually scared. I don't know what your interactions with her have been like at home about the potty, but it's common for kids to totally withdraw and refuse to potty train if there is too much negativity surrounding the process. It's important to not punish them or yell at them or demean them for accidents. She may be "scared" of the whole process of potty training at home because of what has happened when shes has an accident, not just afraid of the potty seat. If you think this is it the best solution is to take a break at home for a couple of weeks and then start back up again and be very positive when she goes on the potty and show no negativity when she has an accident. A simple "That's OK, I know you're still learning and I know next time you will remember to tell me." is the only kind of response she should get.
It happens sometimes, and she probably is lazy so it's up to you to even things out. Ask what the routine is at school and try to follow that at home. If she isn't wearing pull-ups at school get rid of them for home. And if she still continues make it her responsibility, tell her if she can do it at school she can do it at home. Tell her if she pees at home in her pants that SHE will clean and change herself. Have her undress and "wash" her dirty undies and other wet/pooped clothing she has in the sink or shower, (there's a pink bar detergent soap called Zote she can use), put any poop in the toilet and flush it because "that's where poop goes", get in the shower to wash herself off, and change into clean clothes. Tell her that she will do this each and every time she goes on herself, she has to take care of things. (If you clean up after her do NOT let her see you doing it.) Take the Dora seat away as well as the froggy potty (they're cute, we had one) because they more than likely don't have them at school. Also take away her cute undies and put her in plain white trainers, "pretty undies are for when you stop going in your pants and use the potty/toilet."
Once she sees the time involved (d r a g it out) of cleaning up and missing out on playing or other things she wants to do and loses the privilege of cute panties she will more than likely rethink her behavior quickly.
BTW, my guy will be 3 in April and going to start preschool in the fall. I have been keeping him on track by telling him he has to use the potty at school and not his pants so if he wants to go to school, no messes now...and it's working : )
What size is the toilet at school? Normally the toilets at preschool are the small kiddie size. Perhaps she is scared of the bigger toilet at home. Often, the children feel scared of hanging their feet over the front and holding onto the side as they feel that they are either going to fall in or off the front. A suggestion is to turn her around so that she faces the cistern of the toilet with her legs over the sides. This often helps the child to feel more secure as they do not feel like they are going to fall off of the front. Just a suggestion - hope this helps!
Good luck!
Maybe she is scared of the dora seat and/or the frog potty...try having her go without those!
My son hated the themed items. But that was not his problem...he just didn't want to learn!
