More Potty Training... - Green Bay,WI

I was so lucky - my son's daycare (Kindercare) trained "us". He was just over 3, and I hadn't started because I was intimidated. First they did pull-ups so he could practice pulling pants up/down. Then when he was good at that, we switched to underwear. They let me know what to do and when. Accidents weren't too bad but he did have a few. I don't really remember, but it seemed that 3 was a good age to start. Kids are different. Maybe he needs a little more time?

Great guidance and readiness checklists here: http://www.parentingscience.com/potty-training-tips.html

There are a number of different training approaches/ages, any of which may be more appropriate for different mothers and different children. And both physical and emotional readiness is essential for the most common approach used today in this culture. (And I grew up at a time when "good" mothers "trained" their babies early, which was stressful for many of those babies, and probably the mothers, too; it's almost a standing joke among my senior friends that years of therapy is needed to undo their potty-training trauma. It would be funny if it weren't true.)

Good luck! Living by the timer is not the only way to do it. It's possible he just doesn't have all his prerequisites in place yet, but sounds like he's getting closer…

Whatever you do, remember that kids have accidents. Even older fully pee and poop potty trained kids, have, accidents. It is childhood.
Per my daughter's Preschool/Kindergarten/1st Grade Teachers, kids at these ages have and can have, accidents. And they do. The teachers deal with it...by not making a big deal of it. Even at my kids' school, the health room has stocked, clean extra clothing (shorts/slippers/undies) for the kids that have accidents. This is, Elementary school. The younger kids, have accidents. My daughter in 1st grade, had a couple of accidents, and even in Preschool and Kindergarten. For example.

My daughter potty learned early.
My son did so later, when he was already 3.
Both are normal.
Boys are often... later.
And each child, is different.
But the commonality is: if you make it a "battle" and a bribery thing, it will NOT make the process any quicker or any easier. Nor will it make the child's physiological organ development, readier.

Then for night time and sleep/naps, this is a separate, timeline.
Nighttime/sleep dryness, is something that does not occur even until 7 years old, and is completely normal. So at night/naps, nighttime diapers are still used. My kids, NEVER ever, got "confused" about wearing diapers for sleep but not during the day. Because, I simply explained to them... that their body... is still... developing.
It is about brain/bladder/hormonal/myelin nerve sheath, physiological development. Not about the kid's age.

With my kids, I went according to their cues.
My son as I said, was a late bloomer, but normal and per boys.
Even at 4, he was still getting the hang of it. I never pushed or battled him about it or stressed about it. He went to Preschool, the Teachers had no problem with it and they know it was normal. They were nurturing about it. And by Kindergarten, (he was 4 years old then turned 5), he was fine.
Completely, fine about toileting.

Again, having accidents, are normal. This is childhood.
And it is always handy and wise, to get a few waterproof bed pads, to put under your child for sleep. Even if they have a sleep diaper on. Because, then for leaks or accidents, it will NOT get the sheets soiled. I got 4 of them from Amazon.

We never had a problem with #1. He could use the potty by 18 mos - 2 yrs. We let him go outside first to learn how to control aim and flow. Then for every time he used the potty inside and didn't make a mess, he could go #1 outside as a treat.

#2 was a challenge. He got scared the first time he pooped in the potty and refused to go ever since. It seemed he was always constipated until he was 3.5. So I put him on baby food for a week, besides solid fruit and veggies. It softened him up, he became regular enough where I could anticipate when he needed to go poop, and when he actually did poop in the potty, he finally saw it didn't hurt. I slowly introduced solid food back into his diet and after a week or so he was back on solids and pooping in the potty fine.

My guy was trained by 27 months, day and night, so I'm one who believes early can work. But, he showed me many readiness signs from as early as 19 months. Remember, each and every child, even in the same household, is "ready" to start training at different times. And not all potty training strategies work with all kids.

For your son ask yourself these questions:
Does he know why you have the new underwear rule?
Does he pull his own underwear up and down on his own?
Is he seeing you or anyone else using the toilet so he can learn what to do (pull pants down, sit, pee or poop, wipe, pull pants up, flush, wash hands) and that everyone does it?
Has he been reading books and watching DVD's about going potty? Or have friends or relatives his age he sees that potty on their own?
Does he ever stay dry longer than 15 minutes on his own?
Does he ever dance around or run and hide to do his business, signs that he needs to go, when you could rush him to the potty so he associates the feeling with needing to use the potty?

If these things (and more, see the site Peg M. suggested, there's training information to help you) aren't happening maybe he isn't ready to be trained, and your time would be better spent on pre-potty training, exposing him to the world of it in preparation for it.

You have to go by your child's cues.
Is he ready enough?
It might be too early but only you will be able to tell.
You don't necessarily have to set a timer. If he hasn't had much to drink
and doesn't have to go, he doesn't have to go.
Just try & take him at intervals when you think of it, when you have to go
and after you know he's had something to drink.
Whatever you do, don't visibly get upset when he has accidents. This
sets them back.
Instead of underwear around the house, try having him wear pull-ups so
it will help in the event of an accident yet give him the action of pullng
up and pulling down underwear.
IMO, he will get better when he's older.
He will learn to recognize the sensation of having to pee & when he's
emptied out his bladder out enough while actually standing at the toilet.
Hang in there, keep doing what you're doing, don't get upset (it's a learning process) & have patience. It will come in time.

I know alot of people are going to say not to use Pull-Ups...but they really were a lifesaver for me. No matter how many time I told myself not to get upset over an accident...I simply couldn't help but become disappointed/frustrated. My fault, not hers. Once she started telling me she had to go pee, I started asking her every hour or two if she hadn't told me and was still dry. Eventually she would tell me more and more. In this mean time tho...I stuck a pull-up on her. It saved me the head-ache if she did have an accident. And she didn't 'treat it as a diaper' as I had read so many times before (and why I avoided them in the beginning).

Most days, she would wear the same pull-up all day. The reason I didn't just goto underwear? Because she still hasn't mastered pooping in potty...and I'm just not calm enough to scoop poop out of undies all the time. The reason I didn't just stick to cheaper diapers? Because it was a pain in the butt to take it off and on...especially when you are RUNNING to the potty.

My daughter is 30 months...and we've been at this a few weeks now...and I'm amazed at the progress she's already made.

I completely understand the 'lost' feeling when it comes to potty training (by evidence in one of my previous posts)...but can only say that when the kid is ready...it really does just 'click'. Best of luck to you!

Obviously he does not have control over his sphincter muscles. It doesn't matter if he is aware of not. He's not able to stop the flow and keep the urine in his bladder.

I'd say use the pull ups so that you don't have to clean floors all the time. It's not his fault he's having accidents, his body will catch up.

The whole purpose of pull ups is to "get" the action of pulling up and pushing down. So that when he does have on underwear he's able to remember what to do when it's time to sit and then stand up.

An important developmental step for every child is potty training. Most children begin using the toilet as toddlers, usually between 18 months and 3 years old. (Note: It usually takes a little longer to potty train boys than girls. Boys, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 12 weeks. Girls, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 10 weeks.)

Signs that your child may be ready to start potty training include:

Staying dry for at least two hours at a time.
Having regular bowel movements.
Being able to follow instructions.
Being uncomfortable with dirty diapers and asking for them to be changed.
Asking to use the potty or saying that they need to urinate or have a bowel movement.
Showing interest in the toilet and/or wearing “big kid” underpants.
When you begin potty training:

Dress your child appropriately for potty training. Garments with elasticized waists, Velcro, and snaps are usually easy for your child to take off and put on.
Choose a potty seat that your child can easily use on their own.
Your child may want to personalize his/her potty: by letting him/her write his/her name on the little potty, a sense of ownership can develop. Your child may be more likely to use a potty if s/he feels it is uniquely his/hers.
Assure your child that s/he will not fall in the potty (many children have fears of falling in a toilet while sitting on it).
Encourage your child to use the potty at regular intervals - or whenever s/he show signs that s/he needs to go.
Use proper terms (urinating and defecating) as well as the terms your child may be more comfortable with (peeing and pooping). Make sure that you define your terms so that your child becomes adept at using the terms him-/herself.
Start with the basics. Both boys and girls should be shown how to potty from a seated position first. Once boys master urinating from a seated position, they can “graduate” to learning how to urinate while standing. The reason boys should learn to urinate while seated first is that bowel movements and urination often occur in the same bathroom visit . . . additionally, the delay in learning to urinate while standing minimizes the likelihood of your son making messes while enthralled with the spray he can create by urinating.
Teach your child to wipe properly. Show him/her how to remove toilet paper from the roll, wipe, and throw the used toilet paper in the toilet. Instruct girls to wipe from front to back, which helps avoid urinary tract infections. (Note: your child may need help to wipe effectively, especially after a bowel movement, until about age 4 or 5.)
Be supportive and use rewards, such as stickers, when your child is successful on the potty.
Use praise, applause, special songs, reading a special book in the bathroom, or whatever else resonates with your child.
Avoid pressure: your child will likely have accidents during the process. Don’t punish him or her for any setbacks.
Be sure that your babysitter understands your approach to potty training and is consistent with rewards, praise, etc.
Let your child pick out new ‘big kid” underpants with his/her favorite characters (Dora, Thomas the Train, etc.) on them.
Use potty-themed books and videos to reinforce key messages.
Don’t begin toilet training during a stressful time (e.g., moving, new baby, starting a new preschool, etc.)
Recognize that your child has control of his/her bodily functions, and you can’t get him/her to “go” on the potty until s/he is ready. Don’t turn this into a power struggle because it’s one that you won’t win. If your child seems to develop a resistance to potty training, don’t continue the potty training. You can resume potty training when you child again expresses an interest in learning to use the potty.
When your child has completed a visit to the potty, show your child how to flush the potty. Some children experience fear of the flushing mechanism: they fear that they themselves may be flushed away. You may need to flush the potty for your child for a period of time, until your child observes no harm resulting from each flush. At that time, your child should naturally develop a desire to try his/her own hand at flushing the potty. Once the potty is flushed, show your child how to wash his/her hands.
Calmly and patiently teaching your child how to use his/her potty can be a trust-building, bonding experience for both of you. Let the potty begin!

Each and every child is different and everyone have their methods. With my daughter, she was potty trained before she turned 2. I knew it was time the day she brought me the pullups, wipes and lead me to the changing table. lol. But with my soon to be 3 year old in june,...OMG! We started potty training last month. (I know i should be ashamed of myself for starting so late). Paying $80 a month for pullups, my mom negative comments about his age AND those stinky diapers really motivated me to start. I plan to have him trained before his birthday. It just take consistency and patience when youre potty training. No book can help you. Its up to your child. My son wear regular underwear with plastic underwear on top during the day and Goodnights when he's sleeping. I have my cellphone set to go off every 15 minutes. The ringtone is the huggies pullup dance song. So whenever he hear the song, he know that its time to go potty. I make him sit there at least 5 minutes. I bought a regular potty and a potty seat that goes over the toilet. After 4 weeks of consistently doing this everyday, he now tell me when he have to pee. BUT he dont tell me when he have to poop. So that means he is taking baths at least twice a day. The key to potty training is to just stay consistent. Whatever method youre doing, just keep doing it. He will go eventually. I can relate to your frustration.