Y Love Hurts

Updated on January 03, 2007
I.B. asks from Plymouth, NC
12 answers

I am dealing with something else none life threating but its there. i have three men in my life , wait and hear me out before you think i am a player.. one is my husband who cheted on me many of times over the past 7 years, i stayed with him because i thought it was the right thing t do, but i guess i got smart, i met an old friend who i use to talk to back in high school and we hooked up, he got feelings for me but he also have a girl friend. i care about him but i dont want to huet that girl riend b/c it has been done to me. now the other man is older more like 10 years but he is so sweet, he makes feel like iam the only thing in his life and get this he dont cheat, you will never meet a man like this anywhere, i made it my mine that i want to be with him, nut now here comes my husband wanting to act right and get back together, but i dont want to hurt anybody, but myself... what s up wit that.

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T.Y.

answers from Greensboro on

I.,
are you drinking a lot of soda? just cutting back on sodas, even diets, can help you drop some weight. you HAVE to exercise. just start out walking briskly 3 days a week for 30 minutes at least. the only diet that worked for me was the Weight watchers Core program, where i didnt have to count any points. i lost 35 lbs on that diet before i got pregantn, and now im back on it. i have lost 33 lbs since my delivery october 12.try cutting back on sugars and the breads/carbs. dont think of a "diet" persay, but a healthier way to live.
i hope that helps

T. Y

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I lost 30 lbs with weight watchers. Size 14 to size 6. I did it in 16 weeks last summer. I found that writing down everything I ate for that entire time really helped me to lose the weight. It's about $40 a month for meetings and the complete program. Now I'm a lifetime member (that means that you were able to maintain your goal weight for 6 weeks) and now I check in only once a month and it's totally free since I made lifetime. If you're serious about wanting to get the weight off, then I sincerely recommend the flex (points) program. Good luck!

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B.A.

answers from Oklahoma City on

The South Beach Diet worked for me but something always comes up like family comes to visit or having to go see my Grams b4 she died In July last year. The South Beach was too strict for me. And the more I was went back and forth on it the harder it got. I recommend that you get a stationary bike from somewhere like wal mart. I did all the diets too and was always cranky. But with the bike I was able to lose a few pounds a week after my first child. I'd only work our for 30 mins I started at 5 mins! I just put in a movie or tc show on dvd and bike away.
When I first got it I rearranged my living room. THen we moved and I got prego with the second child and has a few years of docs poking at me LOL!
I got a book called the Low Carb Bible. It was on sale at Waldens for $3.99 and is like $19. at Barnes and Noble! It has some really goo recipes that are not only easy but healthy too. And I like alot of them in there too. It talks about all the low carb diets how they work and if you read the book it teaches you alot about what is good for you and what is not.
It isn't a diet it but it gives insite to all the low carb diets and has low carb recipies that work with most of the low carb diets. I just eat what I like out of the book and let the bike do the rest. The Bike I got is like $70 and it works. Even if I am just bored or tired I can get on it for 5 mins and feel better.

DH stuck it in our bedroom since I wasn't allowed on it when I was prego and then my back problems and now that I have had my back therapy and am just now(well just b4 thanksgiving) cleared by my doctors I had to get my DH to put it in the living room in our house now. I am getting back on it. I just started this week. Our place is really small too but I can just push it up against the wall and pull it out when I need it. We recently got new neighbors and our sons are the same age and when seh asked about it I told her it may not be the most stylish thing but what excuss can I make when I can exercise in the privacy of my own home and watch TV at the same time. Now she wants one too!!! And it is easy enough for me to use with my back problems and I have bad knees too! Best off all it is well worth it!

Since I had to rely on just dieting and when you are stuck on the couch in pain you gain alot of wieght! Plus the drugs make you gain more. THe diets helped me from not gaining as much well I'd gain and then loose again from them and I was ALWAYS in a bad mood. With the bike I don't diet at all I just use some healty recipes and excerise. When I used to use it I lost 20lbs in a month and a half and eat what ever I wanted. That was b4 the 2nd kid and back problems. And even though I have just been able to get back on it b4 the holidays I ate whatever and how much I wanted sweets u name it I even had a dozen normal chocolate donuts in 2 days (I was depressed over having to move and find new docs, schools, friends, and a home) and I havnt even gained a pound! To top it off for that time frame I only got on it once to twice a week from 10 mins - 30 mins which was my max and I didnt go that long for even half the time! And when I saw i ate what ever I wanted I really ment it and I am a junk food lover LOL. Since Xmas I lost 2lbs and I have still been eating yummy food and left overs when ever I feel like just not as much! SO for me I would have paid any cost at all for my bike. And it really isnt that big compared to most of the exercise equipment!
Bren

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A.M.

answers from Raleigh on

The only way I lost weight was to cut out sugar and exercise.

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M.M.

answers from Norfolk on

Don't not eat or under eat. This puts your body into starvation mode and causes you to gain weight more easily. Proper weight loss takes time and effort.

Do something to stimulate your metabolism. Take walks, park further away, move as much as possible. You don't necessarily have to do a specific exercise routine. The more you move, the more calories burned and the less likely you are to be bored and snack as a result.

Try natural sweets if you have a bad sweet tooth. Drink water, not just diet drinks.

Eat balanced meals. Don't try to eliminate carbs or fats or whatever else. You need them, but within moderation.

Good luck.

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S.L.

answers from Greensboro on

Hey I., I know how you feel, i just started my diet agian! If you want check out this website, its pretty cool. Its a new weight management plan that focuses on taking off inches and fat not just weight. Its not for everyone but it may be for you. (turn up your volume) www.cinchplan.com/sarahlaw
-Ive been on the "cinch plan for almost a week and ive lost 10 lbs already! As any change in your diet, the first day was the hardest but now I feel great, have tons of energy, no cravings and i look forward to every day! Good luck I.!

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D.D.

answers from Spartanburg on

For me, I started eating more meals - just smaller portions. It seemed that if I was awake - I was eating. But after about 9 months - I had dropped 2 sizes. I also forced myself to be more active. Now I dont mean I worked out ( I am a firm believer in NOT exercising). I just worked outside - took longer at the grocery store. Just walked more really.

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J.M.

answers from Greenville on

From what I have learned, you actually do need to eat. The best I have ever done was when I was pregnant but I am carrying over what I learned then to make it easier now. Every time I went to eat something, I thought about what the calories were and if I could get those calories in a better way. I would try to make the better choice. If you absolutely want the other thing, you can't deny yourself. Try having a glass of water before you go for the unhealthy option though. And make sure you are eating breakfast!! Also, trying to get more protein in your diet helps a lot. It's more filling. I personally really like the Zone bars. Those are also a good choice if you are craving chocolate. I choose that over a Snicker's bar because they have the same calories but a lot less fat and a bunch more protein. Plus all the vitamins and such. Try to make sure you have protein in every meal. And drink water throughout the day!!! Sometimes you will feel hungry just because you are getting a little dehydrated.

Also, you need to exercise. Try to get in 30 minutes over the course of the day. If you have 5 minutes, do some jumping jacks. If you have longer, go for a walk. Also try to get in some basic weight training a few times a week. I do pushups over my son and he just laughs like crazy. I'm on my knees but I go much slower since I'm over him and do fewer but I don't count them, just do what I can. He also likes it when I lay on my back and lift my legs with him lying on my calves and then curl up towards him. It works your abs like crazy but is more fun than regular situps. I also do squats sometimes while holding him. The extra weight just adds to it and I focus more on controlling my movements since I am holding him.

Good luck!!!!!!!

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S.D.

answers from Raleigh on

I.,
I am having some difficulty too. Between a move, two young ones, being away from my family and friends for the first time in my life, medication and a handful of lifes other goodies I have gained quite a bit of weight in the last few months. I was also already overweight. I just started Weight Watchers Online, it is affordable and accountable. It is the only thing that has ever workd for me after having my children, so I thought it is where I should turn back to. I am only two days in but I am feeling like I have an outlook, I am excited and feel like I have a plan to get back to where I want to be. Anyway, if you want to check it out they have a free week offer right now, visit www.weightwatcher.com/free

Good luck!

M.C.

answers from Victoria on

You just eat right (3 meals and 2 snacks) You will lose more weight eating breakfast and snacks than if you dont. Stay away from high fructose corn syrup items, stay away from high in sugar items, most things that are cooked in oil stay away from, if you use ground beef change to ground turkey, if you want pasta or bread (which you dont need much of at all) make sure it is wheat, plenty of veggies and fruits, yogurt, etc. The Dr. Phil what to eat and what not to eat type book is a life saver as far as what is healthy and what isnt. Breakfast I have 1 package of instant oatmeal, the PLAIN stuff because it is sugar free, oatmeal helps you lose weight. With that i will eat an apple or sugar free thing of yogurt, I might even make a fruit smoothie. OR I will make a couple scrambled eggs with fruit. Snack is veggies, fruit, or yogurt...lunch is salad with healthy dressing (low in sugar etc, healthiest is EVO oil kind that you make at home), or some sort of fish that is cooked in a healthy way along with veggies, again snack can be fruits, veggies, yogurt or healthy nuts if you like those (I for one dont like any nuts), dinner cook something lite because your biggest meal needs to be breakfast and make lunch smaller and dinner smallest.

Exercise is key too. You can buy the pedometer ($3 at walmart) to track how many steps or miles you walk, add on to that. You can do a ton of workouts at home withouth actually buying much of anything.

Im starting again (my downfall is when I travel I cant eat right cause I honestly dont want to so I gain the weight back) Im vowing to stop that and eat right for most of vacations and my family needs to just get over it.. wink
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Oprah had Dr. Oz on her show several times now and what he says true. Check it out if you wish--just cut and paste the link in a new window. I will post a bit of what he says AND if you go to the site and follow the links, you can view some neat FREE exercise videos online! And also you can go to You tube site to view exercise videos as well!!
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200611/tows_past_200...

The first step to getting on the path to better eating is to take stock of your pantry! Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen say there are five ingredients that should be banned from your diet forever.

The first ingredient to avoid is hydrogenated oil, which often masquerades as partially hydrogenated oil. Dr. Roizen says we should also eliminate sugar and high fructose corn syrup from our foods. "We eat 63 pounds of [high fructose corn syrup] a year, which puts 33 pounds on the typical American," he says.

Enriched flour is the fourth ingredient to avoid. "[Enriched] means they took all the good stuff out and put a little back," Dr. Roizen says. In 1960, Americans didn't use enriched flour, but today we consume 63 pounds a year, he says.

The fifth offenders are white foods—including bleached flour. The only white items you should have in your fridge are egg whites, cauliflower and fish, Dr. Roizen says.

Your favorite snack foods won't advertise their artificial ingredients—Oprah's medical experts say you have to read the small print for yourself!

After you've read the ingredients on the label, check out how much saturated fat and sugar is in your food. Dr. Roizen says you want to buy foods that contain less than four grams of saturated fat and less than four grams of sugar per serving.

Keep in mind—polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats are good for you and help fight depression.

Can't seem to find any food that fits the bill? Dr. Oz says you should head over to the produce aisle and stock up on fresh fruits and vegetables. Packaged goods usually contain harmful, artificial ingredients because they're designed to stay on the shelf for years, he says.

The supermarket shelves are filled with foods that seem healthy…but don't be fooled. Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen say that 50 percent of the sugar we eat comes from "fat free" foods like salad dressings and soft drinks. In fact, young women get about half their daily calories from salad dressing! Dr. Oz says to substitute olive oil and vinegar for a healthier alternative.

It's 3 p.m. and you're craving something sweet…and something salty. Before you put your quarters into the closest vending machine, consider some healthy alternatives to potato chips and candy bars.

When Dr. Oz wants to crush a craving, he relies on his emergency snacks, which he carries everywhere! "Emergency foods you want tend to be foods that are a little crunchy with some sweetness to them," he says.

Apples, carrots and nuts are great snacks to consider. A glass of vegetable juice also takes the edge off, he says. One snack you may not have thought of are breath strips! "I like [breath strips] because, a lot of times, we have a craving center in our brain that says put something in me," he says. "It doesn't tell you what."

Dr. Oz says a glass of water, a good night's sleep or sex might also satisfy your craving center.

Another way to fight fat is to spice it up! Adding red pepper flakes or cinnamon to your food can reduce your appetite. Starting with a smaller plate also helps you eat 33 percent less, Dr. Oz says.

Breakfast is also a key component to Dr. Oz's diet plan. "People who eat breakfast every day are thinner," he says. "Jump start your metabolism with breakfast—don't miss it!"

Dr. Roizen says people should try to automate their breakfast and lunch. "Why we get so fat is we have so many choices…we want one of everything," he says.

For breakfast, Dr. Roizen says you should have the same thing or the same small variety of things every day. Steel-cut oatmeal, whole grain cereals and egg-white omelets are great options. Then, do the same thing at lunch. Find a lunch that's satisfying and stick with it. Then, come dinner time, you can enjoy a variety of options!

When soggy cereal and steel-cut oatmeal loses its appeal, whip up one of Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen's favorite breakfast treats!

The Quick Magical Breakfast Blaster
2 servings, 136 calories per serving

1 scoop (1/3 cup) Soy protein (like Natire's plus Spiru-Tein)
1/2 tablespoon flaxseed oil
1/4 cup frozen blueberries
1/2 large ripe banana (or other fruits of your choice)
1/2 tablespoon apple juice concentrate or honey
1 teaspoon Psyillium seed husks

Peel banana; break into chunks. Put all ingredients in a blender. Add 12 ounces of water and ice, as well as powdered vitamins. Cover, blend until fairly smooth.

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A.B.

answers from Goldsboro on

i dont know if it will help or not but i hae a 3 year old daughter and i am pregnant again. when i found out i was pregnant with my second child i starting eating breakfast and for some wierd reason i started losing weight. with my daughter i sat at home and didnt work and ate alot and watched tv, but with this one i am working and eating breakfast and i am losing weight. i gained 100 pounds with my daughter and didnt want to do that again. so my advise to you is to try eating 5 small meals a day and that will keep you from eating so much at one sitting and may help in losing weight.

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V.M.

answers from York on

First realize that you are not alone. You seem to want it and be determined and it is alot of dedication. ALOT!
I am trying to get back into the shape I was in 2 years ago and it's frustrating as I get older it's not as easy.
You will need to do a big turn in the diet and be consistant. I used supliments for my help on energy. You must exercise in some way everyday that is the hard part. Walking in the neighborhood or at the gym if you can do weights that is even better even if you are not wanting to build muscle it's neccesayy! Why?........muscle helps burn fat so building with weights a little helps more and will also give you more strength to increse your carido. After a while you will be stronger and be able to do more.
You must understand and as I have to remind myself it will not happen over night and it takes time!
Big thing is do not be a scale watcher it you want to check weight do so in the morning. I have learned that the scale can be depressing and in turn lead to dissapointment.
Keep in mind that when you are doing weights and start exercising you may stay at the same weight but your actually losing fat LBS and gaining muscle weight! That is a big scale misconception. "How can I be at the same weight and ,..but,..I think I look thinner?" That is the muscle weight.
Eat good foods and pre plan your meals.....have the fruit in front of you and a menue to eat for the day that seems to keep me in controle and less tempted to "just this time" hit McDonalds! It never stays at just this time HAHA.
you must remember to stay positive if you are depressed and life itself can do that it will cause you to actually gain weight so wake up every morning and find something in the house in your clothes in your smile look and yourself and say I'm going to atain my goal and though I'm beautiful now I'm going to look even better! you must build yourself up,...and it's also proven that not sleeping enough will cause weight gain too.
Here is a sight that I like to read maybe it will help you with some question too its got alot of things it's were I read about the drpression and sleep being related to weight gain.

http://www.mercola.com/2005/apr/30/obesity_sleep.htm

here is also another one that is interesting if you have a family. http://www.family.org/

If you need or want to talk in person or just have a frindly support email me.
Take care and stay positive!

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