My daughter's friend is 15 nearly 16. I knew she suffered from anxiety, depression and such (what teen doesn't, right?). I just learned she's taking Xanax (dosage unknown). I understand this is a strong medication. She's been on it for 39 weeks and takes it _only_ when she goes out, as that is when she has anxiety and social nervousness, etc ( Doesn't everyone go out everyday???). I don't know much about Xanax, so maybe some of you can help me understand this better. She says that when she takes one when she goes out, the next day she's super super sleepy (like all the next day sleeping). According to my daughter, she feels all alone all the time. She tells me that she was alone in the office when the doctor prescribed the medicine/dosage. She is not in counseling, as they are deciding on one now.
She seems lost in her world (according to what my daughter says and her FB posts and my own observance). She lives in another state than us, and I am wondering if she should ask her mother to consult a different doctor or at least check out other meds. But, as I said, I don't know too much about Xanax other than what I just now read online.
Do any of you have teens on Xanax? What made you decide on this med.? The girl would like for me to talk with her mom as my own daugher was on anti-anxiety (different from her) and on the lowest dose of Prozac for 5 weeks and doing great, using only 5 pills for anxietyover 2 wks over 3 wks. ago). I guess I'm wondering if this other girl's mom should ask about alternative methods since the Xanax isn't working very well as she is experiencing loneliness, depression, sleepiness (to extreem), and other things. I know, it's ultimately the mom/dad's decision... just wanting thoughts. :)
Pleae know, I'm not butting in. We're friends with the family and have discussed our children's lives many times and she is very open to suggestions, questions and such. The daughter would like me to tell her mother about my daughter's meds and see if they may work for her.
Thanks for your INFORMATIVE and KIND responses. All others, please move on.
*if this seens a bit misjointed, it's because I tried to be precise and clear as to not get hate msgs. and went back several times to try to make this post shorter and more understandable! LOL
She's been on it for 39 WEEKS & it's still wiping her out the next day?
Something doesn't jive with this information.
i don't think it's the status quo for teenagers to suffer from anxiety and depression. being occasionally anxious or depressed is normal (and it would be weird if it never happened) but clinical diagnoses are a whole different ball game.
i was knee-deep in teenagers during my own kids' teenage years, between their own busy social lives and my own seemingly-endless classes here, or at co-ops, or at the local CCs. by far the majority of them were not clinically depressed or anxious. they WERE loud, colorful, wildly varied and all over the map!
i'm guessing that this girl's bouts of it are triggered by going somewhere new or encountering unfamiliar situations, hence her doctor's decision to give her an 'as-needed' drug instead of something that would even her out all the time.
no clue as to whether or not that's appropriate, as i'm not a doctor.
i think it makes good sense to talk to the mom, as that's the obvious first step and both girls seem to want you to do this. but i think rather than making recommendations to her, i'd take the tack of 'we have a shared issue in that both our girls have diagnosed depression issues, let's share experiences.' there's certainly nothing wrong with sharing what's worked for your girl, but you don't want to push any degree of judgment on her (ie the girl is always alone at the doctor's office, they haven't got her counseling etc.)
it's great that the other mom is open to listening to advice, just keep in mind that there may be very good reasons for the other girl to have a different treatment program.
khairete
S.
I am curious...why would you expect to get anything but informative and kind responses? People are taking time out of their day to try to be helpful. I think if there is a response a questioner does not care for they should be the one to "move on" JMHO😊
I would like to suggest that you talk with your friend (the girl's mom) about listening to daughters, getting counseling together, and ways to deal with nervousness and feeling alone. It seems like your friend may need to know that her daughter feels alone.
My daughter has been diagnosed through extensive testing (neuro-psych evaluation, and by a psychiatrist) with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Dysthymic Depression. I have gone with her to her appointments and medical management appointments. During the neuro-psych testing she was alone with the tester but of course that was protocol. During the times she speaks with her psychiatrist, she is alone, so the two of them can talk freely, which is as it should be. But when it comes time for medication adjustments or changes, I'm included, so I know what the side effects are, if they should be taken with/without food, and why these meds are needed. I think it's important for parents to know these things when we're talking about psychiatric drugs and our children or family members. And I (and her dad if he's not working) go to the regular appointments so we know things like how we can help, what lifestyle changes should happen, how we can encourage her - things like that.
So my point is, please don't try to give advice about medications. Please encourage your friend to listen to her daughter, to go to the appointments with her, to tell her daughter it's ok to talk about the side effects with her and to tell her own mom how she's feeling. Look, you live in a different state and this girl is reaching out to you to talk about psychiatric meds and feeling alone, when her mom is probably right in the next room. She needs her friends, but she needs her mother. Maybe her mom is feeling uncomfortable about this. Maybe her mom is socially secure and never takes an aspirin and can't understand why her daughter needs strong medication to go out like all teens do. I get that. I do not have anxiety and I don't pretend to understand what it's like to be my daughter with all her many medical problems - I don't have any of her diagnoses or similar issues. But I empathize and listen and make sure she knows that I care and am involved and I will be there for her. I have worried that I wasn't an effective mother, or that I skipped a vitamin or something when I was pregnant with her, but I know realistically that she was raised in a loving home and that her medical issues are not due to any lack of parenting on our part. But it's easy to think that. And it's easy to not deal with it. But we must. Xanax is serious stuff. This is not the same as letting your teen daughter go into the gynecologist alone for her regular exam. This is not the same as the doctor telling your daughter that she needs Vitamin D or B or to stop drinking all that soda, or telling her not to smoke. That mom has got to get involved and her daughter has got to be able to talk with her.
That's where you can have the most influence. Don't compare medications. You don't know that girl's blood counts, white blood cells, daily eating habits, etc. And you need to know all that when prescribing psychotropic medications. But you do know about listening, about being able to talk freely, about being an involved mom, about the hesitations we moms feel when the doctor says that our child has a need for a medication. Encourage your friend to make sure that her daughter gets a second opinion, gets an actual diagnosis, gets counseling (with her mom and without), and is living a healthy lifestyle (exercise, eating well, sleeping well, etc). Those are things you can safely encourage and suggest. You can empathize with your friend (the girl's mother) about how it feels to know that our teens are suffering and feeling alone, and how hard it is sometimes to have a teen daughter, and the pressures the kids are feeling these days, etc. I'm glad you're willing to be a good friend.
This is one of those situations where I'd stick with giving advice along the lines of "What does your doctor think about that?".
I'm not a doctor/therapist/psychiatrist/pharmacist - I'm guessing you're not either.
Recognize when you're not qualified to advise - about the only thing you can safely do is to refer them to someone/anyone who IS qualified.
As far as suffering from
"anxiety, depression and such (what teen doesn't, right?)"
and
"when she has anxiety and social nervousness, etc ( Doesn't everyone go out everyday???)"
- um, no - not every teen suffers from anxiety, depression and social nervousness and a LOT of teens don't go out every day.
What passes for normal has a very wide range.
Listen supportively but let the doctors handle it.
Not what you're looking for for advice perhaps but by no means is it any hate msg.
Most doctors won't prescribe Xanax long-term, so it's a little surprising that this doctor keeps giving it to her.
Re your comment about anxiety and depression ("what teen doesn't, right?"): although many teens can be bratty, I don't consider anxiety and depression to be common side-effects of being a teen. So her depression should be taken fairly seriously.
I've found Xanax to be best for short-term anxiety -- plane flights and such, not long-term depression. Sure, talk to the mom about your daughter's meds. The girl definitely should see another doctor to address her issues.
No experience with the meds, sorry. However since the girl has ASKED you to speak to her mom, I would do just that. Call her, tell her that her daughter feels sleepy and unfocused on the meds and wants to try something else. Then take your cues from the response. If she's open tell her about what worked for your daughter and encourage her to seek a second opinion. If she's not open at least you brought the subject out in the open, just continue to be there for her daughter if she needs to talk.
Generally Xanax is taken on an "as needed" basis. It isn't a drug that is usually taken daily (like an antidepressant). I have generalized anxiety disorder and have a prescription for Xanax, but also take a low dose of two different antidepressants. It is the antidepressants that keep me level and keep the ups and downs of anxiety in check. I take Xanax very rarely now - only when the anxiety is so high that I can't deal with it, or when I can't shut my brain off to sleep. It does make me drowsy the next morning if I take it at night. Xanax is a "downer", so it isn't going to do anything for depression...it can make it worse.
Did your daughter's friend ask you directly to talk with her mother? If the friend's request came through your daughter, I would not call to give advice. I would call the daughter to get a better sense of what is going on and how you can help.
If you know the mother well enough to know she's likely to be glad you called, call to just ask how life is going. You could say your daughter told you some things that cause you to be concerned. Then follow your friend's lead as to whether or not she wants to talk about this.
I would not presume that your friend would want advice. I would not mention your daughter's medication. From your description of both girls' needs for meds, they have two different needs. I would just tell her what your daugh term said to you about how her daughter is feeling.
I would talk with your friend's daughter first. I would want to know why she isn't talking directly to her mom. I would encourage her to talk with her mom. Do you know what their relationship has been like? And how your friend would react to you or her daughter asking to talk about this?
I suggest that your daughter's friend is saying things that could be indicative of something serious going on with her As well as with her relationship with her mom. At the same time I know teens often dramatize their situations.
I would definitely talk in person with your daughter's friend before talking with the mom. I would tread lightly until I either felt that this situation had the.potential for serious consequences or felt confident that my involvement would be helpful.
Most parents would have discussed this with the doctor already. Most would be aware of daughter's reaction to the meds. Unless you know the mom to be uninvolved, I'd assume that she already knows. I suggest that if this request to tell her mom about your daughter's drugs is just that, I'd not get involved. I would tell your daughter to tell her friend to talk with her mom and suggest Mom could call you if she's interested.
I think that from another state, I would stay out of someone else's mental health treatment unless I were that person's legal representative or guardian.
I think she'd have better results if she took it every single day regularly. It would build up in her system and keep her anxiety levels less. Xanax isn't a bad drug. You have no need to be involved in this. It's of no matter to you.
It's her parents and doctors job to manage his girls mental health issues. You can be curious of course but if this effects your daughter in any way then you have the right to cut her ties with this family BUT I imagine your curiosity is only because you just found out she's taking it and want to know more.
All in all it's really really really none of your business. In any way. SO get out of their business. Google the information you need then let it go.
Xanax is a nothing drug, it will not have any effect on your or your daughter in any way. If Xanax is making her sleepy the next day then she could try a whole host of medications that leave a person less sleepy. BUT if she took it every day it would build up and her system would get used to it then the side effects would lessen.
Overall her doc and parents have chosen this medication because of the goals they have.
On a side note, Xanax is becoming a common recreational drug among teens.
One of my girls has dealt with depression and self harm. She is doing great now. We did not medicate. However, that is not to say that taking it is bad. I don't really know anything about it. What I do know is that I have an awesome relationship with my daughter. She tells me everything and I can pick up on her cues when she gets down and starts to feel bad. My other daughter rarely tells me anything, at all. We don't have a bad relationship, just she does not feel like confiding in me. Anyway, the only reason I would say to talk to your friend is because the daughter ASKED you to. Maybe she doesn't think her mom will listen, or doesn't feel comfortable bringing it up. Yes, the doc and parents make the decision but are any of them listening or have any asked how she feels with it? When the doc had considered giving my daughter meds, they said that it could take different meds to find the right one for her and the right dose. This may be the case. I would just let your friend know her daughter asked you to be a middleman and hopefully it will start a conversation on their end.
