Would You Still Love Your Daughter If.....

absolutely. My love for them is unconditional, without boundaries or limits. However, my approval of their behavior is. We can love and love deeply and disagree at the same time.

There is NOTHING my daughter(s) could do that would EVER make me stop loving her (them). I may be disappointed in her decision. I may disagree with the choices she's making. I may think that her actions are horrible and leading only to heartache. I may hate what's she done. But I will always LOVE her. No matter what.

Yes.... Nothing could make me stop loving my daughter.
I would not be happy with her, & I would try & council her to stop.
But I will always love her.

Of course! But loving someone unconditionally and supporting their poor decisions are 2 separate things.

Of course. I would feel sorry for her and love her even more, it takes a sad and lonely woman to fall for a married man :-(

I will love my children until I breathe my last. End of story.

If you have to ask that question, its quite obvious you have never had a child.

I would still love her, even if I didn't approve of her relationship.

NOTHING... Could make me not love my daughter... Or love her less.

I am learning in life...not to judge anyone. I am so imperfect...Especially with a child. My child...She needs your love always and support always....

I'm sorry... What?
Would I still love my daughter if she made a bad decision?
Really?

I would love my daughter (or my son) no matter who she was with or what she did. I would never withhold my love for her, no matter what the case was. She didn't ask me to be have her. I made that choice when I conceived and gave birth to her. I (and her father for that matter) should be the two people in the whole wide world that know every stupid thing she ever did, every ugly action, every bad day and bad decision, and love her anyway. My love is the steady constant...it cannot be changed.

I would be sad. I would be disappointed. I would be angry. I would tell her from a married woman's perspective all that is wrong with the situation. I would warn her of all the consequences to the wife, the man and to HER. I would then let her make her decision and would let her know that if she continued in this relationship that I only wanted to hear about it if it as over, he was hurting her, or she was in danger, or she was coming to the point where she was rethinking her decision. I would let her know I did not want to know about date night, fun times and the like because she is stealing those moments from the woman they rightfully belong to. I would be available to her but let her know that I had no interest in meeting her significant other. If she said something stupid like, "Don't you want me to be happy?" I would tell her, "Not on the back on someone else's misery that YOU helped create and not with ill gotten gains."

But...I will always and forever love her.

I would love my daughter no matter what. The love I have for my family is unconditional.

I would love my daughter.

I would be very disappointed and highly disapprove of her choices.

You worry about the choices she's making in life and you worry that she is letting herself be used but you still love her.
You also do what you can to introduce her to eligible bachelors in the hopes that she'll eventually understand that the married guy she's seeing is a dead end.
You cross stitch 'If he'll cheat with you then he'll cheat on you' and hang it on your wall.

Yes. Of course.

And I would explain to her, in the most loving way possible, how she was hurting herself. How bozo doesn't care about her AT ALL (or his wife and his family) because if he did, he would not hurt any of them. But, because he keeps her on the side, he hurts her and his family. He is NOT a prize. She is though. She needs to see that.

I would tell her to watch the movie THE APARTMENT 1960 starring Jack Lemmon and Shirley Maclaine.

Of course I would still love my child, even if they were making a sad and enormous mistake. My love for my child is not conditional upon their being the person I want them to be.

Would I be sad for them? Disappointed in them? Absolutely.
And I would also want to help them-- try to find out why they feel so little for themselves that they would be willing to accept being 'second' in a relationship. Find out what's beneath them feeling so badly about what they have to offer that they are willing to settle for what's got to be so destructive to their self-esteem. I might not say it like that to them, but I would offer for them to go to counseling and "maybe you want to go talk to someone and figure out what you feel you are needing from this" or why this feels like a 'safe' option. (Choosing someone they really can't truly be with isn't always about the woman being 'loose', sometimes it's about protecting one's self by choosing someone who already isn't available so they don't feel 'hurt' later on when he doesn't take the relationship further. I know, a lot of psychology there.)

You love them no matter what-- and then try to give support and resources for improvement.

I would still love my daughter no matter what.
But that doesn't mean I wouldn't be seriously disappointed in her and possibly even disgusted.
I would hope that I had raised my daughter to have enough self respect for herself to want her OWN man, her own husband, her own family. I would consider myself a failure as a mom if my daughter chose to have an affair.
L.

Of course I would still love her, but I would give her an earful, especially if there are kids involved.

Of course I would still love her. I would be extremely disappointed in her. I would hope she would choose a different path. I would worry about the consequences of her actions. I would be angry because "I didn't raise you this way!"

But I would still love her.

I would still love her, but she would know that I do not approve of the relationship and I would be unable to give her support or advice about it because my only advice would be to end it and come clean to that poor poor wife.

If you were able to stop loving your daughter based on her actions, then you never actually loved her in the first place. The love between a parent and child is unconditional. It is not like romantic love that can grow or die. It just exists.

That said, loving someone doesn't mean you put up with poor behavior, condone their actions or help them do wrong things.

Of course I'd still love her.

But I would be pointing out that she is seeing a cheat and she should be prepared to be cheated on too. A tiger does not change his stripes.

I'd also have a hard time accepting this man into our family if things went that far. I'd constantly see him as a hurtful dishonest person and frankly, I'd not be able to trust him and care about him as family at all.

My friend that went through a nasty divorce a year or so ago was the wife. Her hubby moved out one day and in with his current girlfriend. As he left his home to move in with his girlfriend he snidely commented he'd never been faithful and had been with many women throughout their marriage.

He's already cheated on the new girlfriend at least 2 times, that we know of. He's a dick, and will stick it where ever he sees an open crotch....well, you get the picture.

If he can do this to the woman he married, had children with, bought a home, made a home for over 14 years with, then he's not going to be faithful to this new girlfriend at all. She should expect Karma to pay her back by the bucket load.

I was talking to "his" cousin a few months ago. I told her I'd already heard he was screwing around with a mutual friend of my friend...confusing, sorry. As a married couple they had some good friends, the wife of this couple was one of hubby's "If you had the chance to cheat who would you do it with" list people. So evidently he got the chance after he moved out and in to his girlfriends place.

The cousin told me that the new girlfriend told him to always use a condom so he didn't bring home some nasty disease....what? She's already had to deal with him cheating and gave her approval? She's a real winner....NOT>

You can love someone but not like what they do. That's the category you have to put your daughter in.

It takes more than this to take away love for the child you gave birth to.

Yes.

Would I like her? Now that's another story. I'd tear her a new one. I'd hate her actions. I wouldn't support her choice. I'd tell her exactly how I felt. I'd be disappointed in her failure and hurts. But, I'd love her.

I have unconditional love for my daughter. There is nothing that would make me stop loving her. If I see that my daughter is participating in adultery, I would try to reinforce that fact that is morally wrong and against everything that we believe in. And that's all you can do, talk to her. She would have to make the decision of how she choose to live her life. I assuming she is grown. You have to step back sometimes and pray, and keep loving her. Be there for her. I pray she make the right decision.

Yes I would . . . but I would try my very best to convince her to go to counseling to explore why she would accept such a status and do such a thing.

Yes. I love my kids unconditionally. But I wouldn't support her actions, and I'd tell her so. I'd also wonder why she's so damaged that she has to attach herself immorally and selfishly to an unavailable man.

Yes of course I would! I would tell her I don't agree with what she is doing and I would suggest therapy.

You can love her without condoning/supporting her actions.

I didn't have to read the rest of this to know my answer--YES.

"The other woman" is not as cut and dried a position as it might sound, so I would want more context before advising. Depending on the circumstances, I might wonder what might have been lacking from her childhood and relationship with one or both her parents that she would decide that this is a viable choice to make for her life. Women who choose to play second fiddle don't just do so in a vacuum. It comes from what they are taught to believe about their worth, and that teaching starts at home.

Daizy B, I quite disagree. While it's great that you love your child so much that you can't imagine a mother COULDN'T, from personal experience I can tell you that not all women who give birth to children are happy about it and some make the kids pay for it daily until they're old enough to cut them out of their lives completely.

That said, P. your question sounds like it's based fear which leads me to believe YOU'RE having an affair with a married man and afraid if your mother finds out she won't love you. Again, from experience, as someone who has had an affair with a married man (as a teenager), let me tell you there is no man alive worth having a love affair with if he's married and wants to have you too. He won't leave her, and if he does he doesn't have enough character to be who you need him to be. If you're worried for yourself, you need to break this relationship off immediately, with help if that's what it takes, and spend a great deal of time ALONE doing intense introspection and character work. Alone means NO dating at all. Build yourself, focus on who you want to be and who you were created to be and make yourself worthy of self-respect. You can't be in a healthy relationship with anyone until you have that. at all, unfortunately.

And on the whole I would suggest that MOST women would still love their children, even if the child creates great sorrow and heartbreak for them. That doesn't mean the mother won't create very strong boundaries that you don't like.

Seek God. God IS love. His very essence is the stuff of love if love were tangible. It is only through Him that you willl find the love, direction, and self-worth you're seeking.

I may not always approve of my daughters' words, actions, behaviors, or choices but I will always love them no matter what. I wouldn't support behaviors that are harmful to themselves or to others, and I would have no issues letting them know that, but I would still love them because I believe you can love and support someone and not support abominable behaviors or choices.

Are you the other woman, the daughter? You mentioned you have never been pregnant, so I am wondering.

Your question seem unusual for a mother to write which is another reason I ask. Often the mother will shun the daughter for sleeping with the husband (step father) and banish her from the home and keep the husband. I hope you are not in this situation.

How awful. I would not know how to proceed.
Love,, sure, but eeww.

I love my daugher always. I dont however always love what she does

I would/will always love my daughter. I would not like or accept her being the other woman.

Marriage is a sacred bond and relationship that no one should intrude upon. That is what I would tell her and him, if she ever brought him around.

I would still love her.

Absolutely. Without a doubt.

I would lover her always and forever, but I would be disappointed in her and upset with her.

I would giver her the whole song and dance about being in a risky situation and how it has the overwhelming chance of going horribly wrong.

On the other hand, my own sister was "the other woman" once. She and her husband have been married now for over 2 decades and have two children. In her situation, it turned out well, but that is a very very rare thing.

What Gamma G said.