Would You Let Your 11 Year Old....

Nope. I did it when I was that age, and there have always been nuts in the world, but they're more prominent now :-/ Plus the busy intersection. A few blocks, not over a mile.

No. If it were a couple of blocks I would but not a mile. That takes over 20 minutes and if one of the girls were grabbed it would take that long for the other one to get to the school to notify an adult.

I would make other arrangements with a parent in one of their classes or in the very local neighborhood.

Well, I have a 9 year old.
I'll try to imagine if I would allow this in 2 years...
Hell to the NO!

I don't think it matters if other parents would allow it or not. If you're not comfortable, then don't do it! She's your kid. Pay the $210 for the bus or car pool with someone.

I also have an 11 year old daughter and I like to encourage her to be very independent. Would I let her walk 1.3 miles across a busy intersection to school everyday? Not a chance. It sounds like your gut is telling you the same thing. Go with your gut.

not a chance. 9 to 14 years is the prime age for crazy's to steal your kid. I've said this before and I'll recount it again. One day when I was at my daughter's school up at the office after school waiting for a meeting a 5th grader came in saying that her friends had already left to go home and she couldnt get her mom on the phone. The office said you can try your mom again but you cannot hang out here on the school grounds. I went into my meeting and later on as I was driving home I saw the same girl walking by herself down the street all by herself. Also I have another story on my daughter's classmate who is a boy. This was when my daughter was in 3rd grade. Well the boy use to walk home from school by himself. Well an older boy stopped him and started to bully him. The 3rd grader called his mom on his cell phone and the bully grabbed the phone fromhim and told his mom I'm going to beat up your kid and there is nothing you can do about it. It is a different world out there. No longer is it safe as when I was a kid and we all walked home. there were crazies backthen also but farther apart. Seems to be a lot more now.

Absolutely not. The further the walk the greater oportunity for anything to happen.

**Adding this: DO NOT LET THE OTHER MOM PRESSURE YOU INTO THIS. She just wants someone, any kid, to walk with HER kid. Because, that is what SHE wants.
Don't let her make you self-conscious.
I would tell her "then go find another Mom/kid who is lax."
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No.

In my city, just last week, there was a man with a van... parked at an elementary school and he was trying to get kids to get in his car. A parent fortunately saw this, went up to him and he immediately left.

Last year in my city, a 12 year old girl was walking home from school. As she was walking home she noticed a man following her in a truck. She started to run and he drove faster. This was after school, when it is busy and lots of people around. In a good neighborhood. She, then turned around and started running back to her school. When she started to approach the school and the guy realized where she was going, he stopped and drove off.

1.3 miles is a bit much.
And what about in bad weather?
The busy intersection is another factor. How many lanes... is this roadway??? Just a 2 lane road or a 6 lane road? Is there a traffic light? Or not? Some kids will cross a street even where there is no crosswalk. I see this all the time. Pedestrian accidents/deaths, are very high in some areas. Where there are busy intersections.
You could check and see/research, what is the rate of accidents at that intersection. And per pedestrians. In my city, certain intersections, are well known for accidents and pedestrian accidents, for example. Despite it having traffic lights or crosswalks. Also, if there is a 4-way stop light and lanes turning left or right from the other direction, then that is another detail for a pedestrian to watch.

This has nothing to do with maturity level or age of the child.
In any city, even grown ups have accidents or mishaps or make driving mistakes. And even kids who are much older than your child.

No, I'm fairly certain I wouldn't even consider it. My stepson is 10 and just about the same size as your daughter and has the common sense of a box of rocks. I typically pick him up at the bus stop- which is at the end of our street- because he has been known to stare at the sky and walk in circles if left to his own devices. I would definitely worry that he would not know enough to be scared if a strange person/vehicle approached him.
Besides, $210 is not much at all! I think its a pretty cheap price to pay for some peace of mind.

You should pay the $210. If she's not going to walk are you going to drive her to school every day? Don't walk with her - no middle schooler wants to be walked to school by their parents. My kids walk to school, but they usually go with friends and there are crossing guards along the way. You should be teaching your daughter how to cross an intersection though. She'll be in high school before you know it.

How mature is she? Does the intersection have a light or crosswalk? What about sidewalks?

In our neighborhood, I would absolutely let her walk to school. We have sidewalks and crosswalks. I especially would if she had someone to walk with.

ETA: If you don't think your daughter is a good candidate for it now, don't let that other mom pressure you! You have to do what's right for your kid not hers.

Yes I would. We live 1/2 mile from school and my kids walked starting younger than 11. It depends on the route - is there a lot of other foot traffic, other kids walking, houses, crossing guards etc.? Or are you in an area where they'd be walking past empty lots, woods, etc.?

Is riding a bike an option? A mile on a bike takes about 5 minutes, vs. 15-20 minutes on foot.

Walking 2 miles a day is great exercise. Getting some fresh air and sunshine before and after school is good for the body and mind. If your area is like mine, I would definitely allow it. Keep in mind though that few kids walk in winter or when the weather is bad, so you would still need to arrange for transportation for many days of the year.

ETA I just mapped out 1.3 miles and it's not far at all. My oldest child routinely walked to a friend's house after school in 5th/6th grade and that was 1.5 miles.

Based on the information you gave, no, I would not. Can you just drive them? Alternate who drives? It isn't that far to drive (the drop off line will be annoying, but safety is more important), and I would be worried for lots of reasons. Aside from the obvious ones... someone who follow her home. I don't mean and do anything. I mean... and come back later. Or watch for her at other times outside your home.

My daughter has always been in the "smaller" end of her age group also. Fair hair, fair skin, blue eyes... book smart, and quick witted. We are very happy she loves taking Tang Soo Do. ;)

ETA: I have an 8th grade son, also. I drove him to his middle school 2 years in a row (we live a long way out--like 25 miles away). The cars that frequent the streets near a middle school can be CRAZY. Everyone seems in a hurry, distracted with their kids in the car, and not everyone is paying attention to the sidewalks or people crossing.

I will admit to being overprotective but there is no way I would allow my child to walk to school without a trusted adult. There are too many things that could happen to cause regrets.

You could have been me a year ago. No, I wouldn't and didn't and won't in the future. I know that in my area, other parents let their kids do it, but I'm not "other parents" and their kids aren't my kids. If their kids were my kids they wouldn't be walking 1.5 miles to school down a very busy street, crossing busy intersections. Not happening. I'm nervous making that walk by myself.

A couple of the girls that make that walk and live a couple streets over have told my daughter that they hate the walk and are scared to do it, but their moms won't drive them and because of the activities they do after school they can't even take the late bus. So they have no choice but to walk.

No, you have to go with your gut feeling on this one. Don't be pressured by the other Mom. My 4th grader lives about the same distance from her elemetary school and decided this year she HATED the bus. Rude kids, ineffective bus driver. So I told her she could walk or bike, but I go with her. We stop half way to pick up a friend on her bike and I go with the all the way to the last small residential block before the school. I pick her up at the school door on my bike after school, or walk the dog down to walk with her if we are walking. Yes, I am fortunate enough to have the time to do this. I do drive her in bad weather. My 10 year old is just itching for the independence to go it alone, but she too, is small. Although she is trustworthy and pretty savvy, there are some extremely busy streets, even for adults, and the route is traveled quite a bit by middle and high school students. Way too risky for a number of reasons, even though the neighborhood is a good one.

I have a 10 year-old daughter and I would let her walk. The only concern I would have is her getting there on time, and some days in the winter here in Minnesota it gets pretty darn cold.

But, if you don't want your daughter to walk, just pay the fee and have her take the bus. $210 a year sounds like a cheap price for your peace of mind. In the meantime, I'd start teaching your daughter some "street smarts" so she can begin being more independent.

That's a BIG NO! Haven't you ever watched Nancy Grace? And I say that with alot of sincerity.

It depends on your daughter. I walked that far in middle school with a friend, but we were BOTH mature and responsible. There were also a TON of other people walking home in the same route. If your daughter is one that is oblivious to her surroundings, apt to goof off with freedom, or on the immature side...I probably would not. Will she walk STRAIGHT home, or dawdle and act goofy? If her friend is immature and known to do things that are the brightest, that would also make me think twice. At this age, she is likely to be part of the pack and do what her friend is doing. If your daughter and her friend are mature, realize their surrounds and know what to do in a dangerous situation, then perhaps. I would NOT do this if they didn't BOTH have cell phones. I'd go back and fourth, but I think I would probably lean towards no I wouldn't allow it. I walked straight home with no distractions. I don't think most 11 year old girls are mature in that way, these days.

ETA: The busy intersection might be of concern. Are there other groups of kids walking, or a crossing guard? Also, check with you school. Many school have policies about this now.

ETA2: Definitely don't do it, because someone else wants you to. Your daughter does not sound like a good candidate. An 11 year old with no common sense, does not need to be walking over a mile to school.

It's no safer for boys than it is girls, but girls are more prone to be at risk for predators. 1.3miles is a long walk. The busy intersection could be a blessing and a curse. If anything was to happen at least someone would see, but at the same time, she could get hurt if not taught how to cross the street safely. You really can't tell what a person could do if put in danger, so book smart vs common sense smart has nothing to do with it. Follow your guts, only you know your child. Predators were prevalent in the older days as they are today, and our parents took chances, it's just more highlighted these days than then. Do what is comfortable for you and see if you can come up with a compromise..maybe drive her to a safe spot and then let her walk the rest...

Based on what you're telling us, NO, you should not let her walk. My 7 year old is 52 inches tall and 51 lbs. There is no way she could defend herself against a predator. Also, if she doesn't have any "common sense" she should not be put in situations where she would be expected to notice and weigh problems and dangers around her.

Scrape together some money and get her the bus.

How much is the safety of your daughter worth? How much for your peace of mind? If there is no worth, then pay nothing, let her walk. If safety is worth at least two hundred ten dollars pay for the bus.

The busy intersection would be the least of my worries.

No I would not and people can say I am overprotecive and whatever else they would want to, my daughters safety is more important than what anyone has to say. As far as I am concerned no matter how much common sense or street smart my child has and no matter how much trust I have in them there are too many crazies in this world that I DO NOT trust. Go with your gut, you are the mom! :)

I'd just pay the $210 and be done with it.

No way. You are her mom and you know her. The reasons you listed are very valid. The mom just wants to guilt you into letting your daughter walk with hers because SHE doesn't want hers to go alone and probably doesnt have any other options or she would be doing them. Good luck.

No, I would not.

I hear about too many abductions (and yes they say most abductions are
from someone they know but not all of them are.).

I think that is a long distance to walk.

Not sure that very many kids are very mature at that age.

Yes I would. They will be walking together, they know how to cross the street (right?) and it is great exercise. The number of stranger abductions is incredibly low. She is way more likely to be injured or killed while you drive her to school. Now - I think you will have to drive her some days when the weather gets bad. When I was a kid - up to 3rd graders walked if it was a mile or less. Older kids walked if it was 2 miles. High schoolers - less than 2.5 miles. It is no more dangerous 'these days' than it was in the 'olden days.' And of course you'd feel awful if something happened. But you'll feel awful if you are in a car accident with her or she is in a bus accident (do yours have seat belts?) and that is statistically way more likely. So it's not like there is a no risk option.

I'm with you...absolutely not. Not in this day and age. I'd drive her to and back--and I'd insist on driving the other girl also. Honestly, what the heck is wrong with this mother to even consider allowing her daughter to walk? She sounds a few sandwiches short of a picnic. I wouldn't even ask the mother for any type of carpooling or gas money--I would just take her daughter as a labor of love because I would feel terrible if something happened to her that I could have prevented.

I would gladly pay the 210 dollars for transportation...you would more than save that in gas and time spent in the pick up line.

Two miles was the cut off for our school middle and high...my dad took me and my mom picked me up everyday until I was old enough to drive myself. Except one day when I mouthed off to my mom outside the high school and she told me to get out and walk home...I was at least 15 or 16. It was a long walk...I decided I liked her picking me up and apologized.

Oh I also walked home one afternoon from middle school...so, I was about eleven...and my friend and I got special permission. We decided it was also too far and much enjoyed the ride rather than walk.

Pay the $210...1.3 miles is a hike twice a day...not including safety.

I have a 12 yo who does have common sense, I do not let her walk more than a few blocks by herself and would never let her cross our main street alone and we live in a small town of 4000. I'm probably a little over protective too, but you need to be comfortable with your decision of what's best for your daughter. You know her best.

that's a fairly long walk for before school! A little bit of inclement weather & she'll be miserable. Been there/done that. :)

Our district picks up after the 1 mile point. What is your district's policy?

Oh, & our son walked to middle school....which is just a short distance from our home. I will admit I was concerned due to our proximity to the interstate. One quick grab of our cuter-than-cute boy....& he'd be gone. 3 years of worrying!

In today's world, it's hard not to be paranoid!

I don't think you are being overprotective in today's world! Go with your instincts, and drive your daughter to school. Not only is the traffic a problem. There are too many child predators today who can easily overpower a child.

Based upon all the information you've given my answer would be no way. You know your child best and you know that this is playing with danger at this point and she doesn't seem ready for such a task. However, do not rule out letting her do it at another time if/when she demonstrates the ability. As all parents know we can only protect our children so much and at some point or another must allow them freedom to prove to us that they can be responsible and mature. It is up to you when you allow this particular case to happen, if ever.

My neice is ten and my Brother and SIL do NOT allow her to walk/bike the 3/4 mile to school. No busy interesections. Plenty of other kids. Nice sidewalk. But it is just more common for girls to get picked up by predators than boys. I thought it was a bit absurd that they won't let her walk or ride her bike such a short distance, but heck, you're the parent and you gotta do what you gotta do to keep your child safe.

In your situation, I would MAYBE allow it if a big boy walked with them as well, or if there were a group of 5 or 6 kids that all stayed together. 1.3 miles is decently far for two small girls to walk alone. So no, I would not likely allow two girls to walk that far daily. (Predators will look for patterns in the kids behaviors/routines).

Bottom line is if you are not comfortable with it then don't allow it. I always drove my kids to school. Too many stories about things happening. I know the chances are slim, but I never took the chance. My kids are now grown and very independent, so I don't think I scarred them for life lol!! Couldn't live with myself if something happened and I caved because everyone made me feel like a crazy lady. I was a crazy lady when it came to my kids!! Lol!! If your not comfortable with it then go with your gut!!

NO! Maybe you and the other mom can take turns driving them.

No, I would not. Our home backs up to the school our 6 yo attends, and I still walk her to and from. The other mom is clearly watching out for her daughter as well, since she is looking for someone for her daughter to walk with. She's probably calling your crazy protective because she wants you to allow your daughter to walk with hers - she's protective too! As you both should be.

You say you will not be allowing your daughter to walk, so if you are driving her can you offer to pick up the other girl too?

The couple years of high school before I got my license I had to walk to school. Our cut off was a mile and we lived just under (one block away!). Even at 14-15 yrs old I didn't feel comfortable walking, and I ended up going to my cousins house, who lived much closer, until my folks could pick me up there. There were idiots who would "cat call" as I walked, or offered me a ride - strangers. We lived in a community like every other - a neighborhood with families, but I also had to cross a busy street. NO WAY would I ever let my daughter walk to school like that. I'd gladly pay the transportation fee.

Is it 1.3 miles round trip or each way? Kids need exercise, but I don't know if I would let mine walk that distance each way every day at age 11. The intersection would also come into play -although 11 year olds should be able to navigate that. Would you just take them whenever it rained or snowed or something? I have to say -I'm not sure. I'm all for giving kids independence, but at that age and that distance, I don't think I would be okay with it unless there was a group of children walking together instead of only two.

If the school was closer I would say yes. But 1.3 miles in a bit of a walk, I know I do it every day with my two dogs!

Maybe when she is a little older.

My daughter is the same... 11 and tiny also smart, but no common sense. 1.3 miles is too far for the girls to walk to and from school. Thankfully we're bused here, but I still worry about the older kids on the bus... but that's my issue. I do not think you're being over protective, anything can happen in that 1.3 miles. My personal advice is to do what you feel comfortable with. If you are not comfortable with your daughter walking to and from school then don't let her. And what happens if it rains? Would that other mother let her daughter walk 1.3 miles in the rain?

All I can think of is Jaycee Dugard. If being "crazy protective" prevents your daughter from facing that kind of fate--then so be it! I think your decision to drive her is definitely a good choice.

If you don't feel safe about doing it then don't and pay the transportation fee.

My daughter is self sufficient and would have no issue with it. She's a black belt as well.

However, that would be a long walk in the rain or cold.. I wouldn't want it in those circumstances.

I think it depends on the maturity level. I had that kind of walk to school by the time I was 9.
A lot of school districts put a crossing guard at busy intersections when they know a lot of students will be crossing it. Have you checked into whether your district does that? Or whether you can lobby for it?

Yup. I would -- and I have. At that age I made my kids carry walkie-talkies. I felt they were too young for cell phones and, honestly, reception in this area can be a little wobbly. Walkie-talkies (I'm talking good ones, not cheap kids' toys) have a better than 2-mile range and are instant. It gave me reassurance & they knew I'd answer questions right away if they had any.

Nothing wrong with independence and exercise.

Did you walk to school when you were younger? Were there always crossing guards around? Your daughter has no common sense because you are bringing her up not to have any.