Worried How My 5 Y/o Is Going to Adjust to New Babies.

You will have a lot on your plate, that is for sure....

Even though some people don't like Michelle Duggar, I think she has some really great ideas..... and one of those is to incorporate all the older kids in assisting with the younger ones..... (When a new baby is born, she assigns one of the older kids to be their "buddy" ...)

Your 12 and 11 year old are old enough to be very helpful with the babies... I'm not meaning to have them completely responsible for them, but they can do a lot to keep the 5 month old occupied, and change diapers, and feed.... they can also help a lot (with supervision) with the upcoming twins. They can also be a really big help with the 5 year old, by incorporating her into the baby care and playing with the 5 year old so she doesn't feel so left out.

I remember you telling us about your upcoming twins. Wow! I think one of the best things you can do is have HELP in the house. Can you swing it? You really need it. There's only one of you and you will be all over the house and can only pay so much attention to the children with two extra infants along with everything else.

If you can have a mother's helper or someone helping clean house and be an extra set of hands, it will help ALL of your children, including your 5 year old.

I hope this is possible for you. I'm afraid you'll end up with exhaustion if you have to do it all!

Dawn

I'm not in your situation at all, my girls are 15, 7 and 12mon. My older girls LOVE the baby and probably more so as she was 6 months and starting to eat foods....they loved to feed her and that was a big help. Last night my oldest got home from hockey and was upset baby was in bed and not up before she left for school. They (more so the middle one) was very involved in the pregnancy as she was developing. I never asked them to do things like change diapers..... they do change quite a few because they want to. I figure they didn't have the baby i did - my husband on the other hand not so lucky :). What i was trying to say is that as your 5 mon old gets older and more interactive i bet your older kids will have more fun with her and itll be a natural help to you. When I see my daughter (7 yr old) looking left out, i just pull her into the mix.

You can make your 5 yo feel really important and special at this time. She is now your special little helper. Give her a new baby when the twins are born. When you are feeding them have her feed her baby. Ask her for her "help" and tell her how you appreciate all her hard work with the babies.

Just keep in mind that that 5 yo is going to be the middle child - 3 older - 3 younger. She will feel like she doesn't really matter - she's not part of the older kids, nor is she part of the babies. You guys will be focused on activities for the older ones and baby milestones with the baby. Make sure you don't lose sight of her. She WILL NEED special time with you and/or daddy in order to feel like she matters and that you SEE her!

I agree with Dawn. Maybe in the beginning you could have some family come in and help out for a while. 3 babies in a household is a lot.. Then to have to older children that are probably really active in their own lives, it will be an adjustment. The 5 year old will need some reassurance that she is not being forgotten or overlooked.

You will need to have some alone time with each of your older children, to explain what it is like to be a mom and love each and every one of them.

Let them know there will be times, when you may not be saying it, but you love them, you are proud of them and you do see them.

Maybe slip each of them notes once a week, letting them know what you and your husband see them doing.. "positive notes of recognition".

My sister is about 5 yrs younger than me and she has always demanded a lot of attention. I was always just trying to be my best and be helpful to my mom that was going through a terrible divorce.. but my sister needed (still demands) a lot of attention.

My mom just every once in a while would tell me she appreciated my help. She appreciated that I was able to take care of myself and that I seemed to understand my sister needed a lot more attention.

These small recognitions from her, helped me a lot.

Congratulations!!!

Here is an idea. Since you will have 7, match them up with the days of the week. Each day, one kid gets 30 mins of just you alone time.

Your olders will be in school during the day, so the 5y will still have afternoons with you. Maybe when she comes home, have a snack and a little nap together? Watch a movie together? My 6y LOVES the Strawberry Shortcake movies. Have her read a book to you? Have her read to you, or watch the movie while you are feeding the babies next to her?

It is doable. Will a lot of it seem to scheduled and rigid in the beginning? Yes, but after a bit, things will settle into the routine or organized chaos. :)

Remember to do some spontaneous things with the olders. My favorite memory of my Mom was the day that my twin was invited to a party and I wasn't. She took me to a new cafe just the two of us. Even something as simple as a Starbucks run, Dunkin Donuts, or popcorn movie night can be simple, fun quality time. :)