Working Parents - Father Comes Home Just at Toddlers Bedtime -

I feel bad for your husband because he really needs to spend time with his son however you need to put your son's needs ahead of everyone elses at this point. My daughter went through the same thing and there's no ideal solution.

Put your son to bed at the normal time and have some white noise in his room so that he can't hear his dad come home. If your husband is around in the morning have him get his son up, dressed and breakfast to spend time with him. If he isn't then make sure that the weekends are daddy/son time with your husband spending as much time as possible doing things with your son.

It's a short term issue that will work it's way out as your son gets older. Don't worry about it because as long as you and your husband but your son's needs first you'll do fine.

I have 19 month old twin boys who go to bed at 9:15 - 9:30 because we both work full time and don't get home until 7 too. We eat dinner late, play a bit and then by 9 it's time for bed. I put them in their PJ's, tuck them in, kiss good night and turn on their TV, shut the lights, and close the door as I leave. Within 1/2 hour they are both sound asleep. I go in and turn off the TV. there's nothing wrong with spending time with your baby. and at this age, bedtime is whatever works for your family. Don't stress it. enjoy your baby.

It is a difficult situation. As far as going to bed later - I don't necessarily see anything wrong with that. If your husband gets home at 7-7:30 - he could be the one to do the nighttime routine - play for 15-20 minutes - get the PJ's on and put him to bed, etc and your son could still be in bed by 8:30. Of course he'll be awake for a little bit. My 2.5yo takes 30-45 minutes to fall asleep every night - no matter what. We lay her down around 8 also - sometimes later like 8:30 and she'll still be awake for 30-45 minutes.

But, he will fall into a different routine with his dad if you change it. Especially if he knows a little daddy time is built into his evening. It may take a few days, but if he knows that this is the new routine - he may start to fall asleep sooner and not get such a second wind and so wound up.

If dad can do things in the am - that's great instead - but it sounds like that door opening at night is at a bad time at night no matter what other time dad has had in the day!

I read the other responses too - even if he was up until 9:15 or so - whatever works in your family is what works. If he's still waking earlier - that would be the only problem, in my opinion and maybe the later bedtime isn't a good idea. Then again, in my opinion, it is ludicrous to put the TV on for a child to go to sleep too - but that's just me! I'm sure everything I do as a parent isn't seen as mother of the year for many parents!

It's funny you write about exercise - my husband and I just agreed to wake at 6 am every day and one of us would to the elliptical machine that we have and the other would workout in another way. We have just been sleeping later and later and it's awful! So - it's a little time together and to get the day started - we'll see how long it lasts! Ironically, it's not a New Year's Resolution either!

Good luck with your little one. Sometimes they just run the show and it sounds like he has other plans than going to sleep at 8 if that's when daddy comes home! LOL

your son needs to spend time with dad just as much as he needs to sleep..... and really, who sets the rules as to when a child needs to be in bed? You do!

So, put him to bed a little later, after he's had some daddy time. He is probably fighting sleep at bed time so he can see dad... he knows when dad gets home and he wants to see him before he goes to bed.
Think of it this way, do you want him to only see daddy on the weekends? If dad works 5 days a week and he is in bed before dad gets home, then that's when he'll see him... only on weekends. That's not fair to the baby or to dad.

Who cares if he is up at 9:15 at night?? As long as he is getting a full night's sleep, it doesn't matter if he is up that late. You already have your solution... as you said above, let him go to bed a little later and you can get up earlier and take care of things before he gets up... that way he can also get his daddy time.... which they both need.