Where Do I Go from Here? - Southborough,MA

Whatever you decide to do do not try to do both at the same time.

Is she showing signs of being ready for potty training? Does she recognize when she needs to pee some of the time? Is she able to hold her pee for a short period of time? I recommend getting a book on potty training and how to recognize when a child is ready.

A friend didn't train her daughter until she was 3 and it only took a week to do so. Readiness is the key to a short and successful training period.

get her off the bottle and then train her for the potty at 3.

it's not bottle vs potty training. the bottle needs to go. now. she's two so this shouldn't be a huge deal - explain to her that babies use bottles, and big girls use cups. just simply stop giving them to her. give it a few weeks and then if you feel SHE is ready, start potty training.

Bottle first, then potty training. Don't do both at the same time--she will have a harder time that way. Good luck!

M

I would get rid of the bottle first. Typically children aer done with a bottole between a year and a year and a half. Get rid of that and then move on to the potty training.

If it were me, I would lose the bottle first. I think that's an easier task than the potty training anyway. Switch her to a sippy (there are several that are bottle-like, that transition to the next stage that are more cup-like, etc.). I don't know what to tell you about the milk/water thing. I'd only offer her water if you're giving her a bottle/sippy cup to soothe herself to sleep. Drinking milk before sleeping can cause tooth decay. And trust me, when you take her to the dentist in a year or so, the dentist is going to notice. I'd say that if you tell her that she can only have water in her bottle/sippy cup, she'll ditch it because it's not what she wants.

I will also say that you can't expect this to be an easy transition. Being a first time mama, you don't want your little girl to cry or fuss. But she's going to. She's not going to like that you make changes. But you're going to have to hold your ground. I'm not saying that to be harsh, I know from experience. You may have to chant to yourself in the midst of her screaming, "I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing the right thing." Because getting her off the bottle IS the right thing to do. But, you can do it mama!

Potty training is an ugly beast. I am on the verge of training my third child (she's 2 1/2 as well).

Here's my take on potty training. People say you can do it as young as 18 months. And believe you me, I tried so hard right at 18 months with my first. I was bound and determined to get her potty trained before her new sister came along. We used the potty chair and modified toilet seats and pull ups and training panties and candy and bribery.

Instead of having a happy potty trained toddler, I had a child who left puddles all over my house and I was a crazy, nervous, wreck. I was SO tired of cleaning pee and poo off the carpet, off the floor, in underwear. I pushed and pushed toilet training on her. The fact was she wasn't ready. And she wouldn't be until well after her third birthday. So I spent a year and a half being crazy because I couldn't get my child (who WAS NOT ready) to learn how to use the toilet.

With my second, our family was under stressful circumstances, so no time felt right to start potty training. So, I let her sit on the potty chair when she wanted to here and there. Then one day, around age 2 1/2, she took off her diaper and sat on the potty chair all by herself. And then she did it again. And again. And then she went poop. I spent about a week working with her pretty intensively, and that was that. She practically potty trained herself.

Now with my third, I'm still feeling her out. I refuse to make myself crazy and push my potty training agenda on my unsuspecting toddler. I put her on the toilet before bath time, let her sit on the potty chair if she asks, and let her sisters encourage her. And you know what? She's interested. I suspect that in about a month or two, we'll be working hard on it, and by fall, we'll be diaper free in our home.

The moral of the story here is: Every child is different. Your best friend's little boy may have conquered the toilet and started wearing big boy underwear around 20 months. That doesn't mean that your daughter has to follow suit or that she's behind. It just means that she'll use the toilet when she's ready.

A couple of tools we used for potty training were the "Once Upon a Potty" book by Alana Frankel and "Elmo's Potty Time" DVD (which I absolutely hated, but the kids loved - so, whatever).

Another thing to note, night time potty training is an entirely different beast. Some kids take longer (like even into elementary age). I would worry more about learning how to use the potty during waking hours first before trying to tackle the night time.

I wish you the best of luck in both! You've got a long road ahead of you, but you'll come out at the end of it feeling accomplished and ready to take on the preschool years!

I agree with Marda P (as usual!), is she showing signs of being ready to potty train?

Our son is 2.5 and he has recently started to ask to use the toilet, loves to wear underpants and hates to be wet. So he has basically trained himself within a couple weeks.

Coincidentally, we have also transitioned him to a big boy bed since he started climbing out of the crib. I think this is great timing as he is waking up dry from naps and using the toilet. Obviously I don't expect him to stay dry at night but it is a step in the right direction.

I would do the sippy cup cold turkey. It might take some work to find a cup that she likes but just start leaving them around the house, filled with water, and see how she goes. My son still has milk twice a day - morning and night.

Good luck and let us know how she goes with these big changes!

I think you should do the bottles first. They are easier to give up and will help her feel like a big girl. Search online for ideas about the "bottle Fairy" and make it fun for her.

I would definatly get her off the bottle and on to using a cup. You can do milk in a sippy. Typically they say that you should transition to a sippy cup on or before their first birthday according to our pedi. My son took to the sippy cup at about 7 months when he could hold it himself. You might be surprized how easily she takes to the cup. Have you tried a cup yet? After that you can tackle the potty training. My son is also two and a half. We have not really begun potty training in earnest yet. He will go in the potty before his bath but that's about it. They say that night training takes longer so she might stay in a daiper at night longer than you might think. I have tried to cut my sons fluid intake in the evenings just so that I don't have leaky diapers in the morning. I don't let him have anything an hour befor bedtime and he if fine with that because that is usually time that is occupied with the three B's ( bath, books and bed).
Good luck.

First, don't limit her fluid intake to tackle potty training. It isn't necessary. My daughter was potty-trained through the day around 2 1/2, but she wore a pull up at night until about 3 1/2 until she started staying dry, and then we got rid of them. Also, if you've waiting this long (like we did) you might have the best luck with the cold turkey method. Throw out the diapers (or at least, hide them) and put her in underwear. Get dressed in your underwear together, whatever. Keep a potty in the room she plays in most...we didn't move it into the bathroom until she was a few months into successfully using it.

I don't know which to do first...honestly...she shouldn't still be drinking from a bottle, especially not to fall asleep. I'm not really one to speak...I let my daughter have a sippy until she was about that age (with milk) but I went and took it the SECOND she fell asleep, brushed her teeth regularly, and am very thankful she has very healthy teeth. Some aren't so fortunate. Now, with my second, I am not making that same mistake...of course, this one is still nursing (at a year) and I have no idea when I'm going to wean her, but she's never had a bottle and drinks from a cup okay.

I would do cold turkey on the bottle right away. Just, "Oops, they're all used up! Now we have these!" and I would go to a cup with a straw or a regular cup...she's old enough. I would skip the sippy cup altogether, because they're just like a bottle, only with a valve. She can do it!

And even if it's hard, it'll only be hard for a few days, and then she'll just seem so grown up! Good luck!! :)

Do you mean that she doesn't drink out of a cup at all or that she still has a falling asleep bottle? In either case, you're about 18 months late with getting rid of that bottle, so I would start with that first. Assuming that she can drink from a cup, I would try to change the bedtime/naptime routine to cold-turkey replace that bottle with something else that she'll like - a special ride to her bed, a new song, a book, whatever. Like breaking a binky habit, it might take up to 3 days for her to get it but it can be done if you are loving and persistent. When we broke my son's binky habit, I gathered them all up and told him that the binky fairy was taking them to give them to babies who need them and once he could sleep without it, we'd go to Build A Bear and get him a big-boy bear to celebrate. It was a rough couple of days but it worked.

Once you get through this transition, then consider potty training when she shows the appropriate signs of readiness.

OK I'll get skewered on here for my answer but I wanted to make sure you don't feel too bad with everyone telling you how you should have given up the bottle a long time ago. My 3.75 year old daughter still takes a bottle of milk before nap and before bedtime. There, I said it, let the wrath of the Mama's reign down on me! I don't feel like pushing her to give it up yet, and I firmly believe she will give it up soon when she's ready. It really means a lot to her.

THat said, I do belive they are two independent events. The potty training cannot be pushed, as far as I can tell. We got our little one a potty when she was about 18 months as she started asking about it but we didn't say much about it except wow look at that nice potty etc etc. Never made her go on it or anything. When she was about 2 she peed on it once just out of the blue. THen a few months went by before she tried again, I never pushed it at all. By about 2.5 she was regularly peeing in the potty but still wore pullups or dipes to nap and sleep. Sometime at about 3.5 she started waking up from naps and sometimes nighttime with dry pullups, and in the last few weeks she's not wearing pullups and wakes up dry. Despite the bottles.

SO, they are independent events I think. Potty training she must be ready to tackle and you cannot force it. The bottle is something you can simply do whenever YOU are ready : ) . I'm just not ready yet. Soon...

Good luck!!

.

1st tackle the bottle......

i found it best with my 4 kids to let them direct me when they were ready to be potty trained......if i asked them & they showed interest then we would pursue it but if they didn't then i didn't bother....they were all potty trained before preschool.....my 4th one trained herself at 2 .....she just started going & telling me to look after she was done.....no struggles are best IMO :)