My five year old recently asked me this Q. I told her that God uses ingredients from Daddies and Mommies an makes them from scratch. She giggled and accepted this answer. She then asked me how they come out of the belly. She believes that the belly just rips open and the baby falls out. Is it too young to tell her the truth? I clearly dont want her to think what she does, but where's the line? Thanks!
Well, I told her age appropriate info. I said that the baby comes out of my vagina. Not where I poo or pee pee, but the other hole. She said "oh ok......does it hurt?" I said " yes, but there is medicine to help that. And that our bodies were created specially for it. She said oh good. Then was thrilled that it is something only girls can do, like a special mission. It turned out to be a fun and bonding conversation! Why was I scared???
My girls (ages 8 and 10) have known for YEARS how the babies come out. My 8 year old still doesn't know hoe they get in there in the first place. She has just never asked. I agree with Brittany K. - the thought of a baby being ripped out of someone's belly is terrifying! Just use the correct term and say, "the baby will come out of my vagina."
I think that was a beautiful answer. But I would tell her the truth, I would think that the idea of someone's belly ripping open would be a lot scarier than the truth.
Not too young. Babies come out of the vagina (of course there is the C-section as well).
Until I was 12 I seriously thought that women pooped their babies out, because neither of my parent's wanted to explain anything to me. It was always "Go ask your dad", then dad would say "Go ask your mom". So my imagination had to come up with something on it's own (Don't even get me started on what I thought sex was). Pretty embarrassment when my best friend's mom had to sit down and explain everything to me. Lol
Anyways, my point is... Better to do it too early than not at all.
When I was pregnant with #4, my 6 year old #2 asked me how the baby was going to come out. I gently explained that mommy has a little hole near where I go potty that will open up for the baby to come out. His eyes got wide and he said, "I'm glad I'm not a girl!" It was so hard not to laugh. I assured him that wouldn't be the last time he said that!
Tell her the truth! It's perfectly natural and scientific. My 5 year old son asked me the other day how babies got out, and I told him that women had an opening between their legs called a vagina that boys/men didn't have (like we don't have penises). That's where the baby comes out. He was hilariously grossed out that he came out between my legs, but then he was fine with it and I haven't heard another word about it. I also explained to him that sometimes the baby can't come out that way, so they do surgery on the mother, cut a place on her stomach and take the baby out that way. I think that sounded worse to him than between the legs!
"Before I was Born," by Carolyn Nystorm (God's Design for Sex). I have the whole series and this book in particular is for ages 5-8. It is very good and approaches the topic in a biblical way and no, your daughter is not too young to know that babies are gifts from God, in which mommy and daddy come together in a very special way because of their love for one another. The baby grows inside of the mommy's uterus and comes out of her vagina when the baby is big enough. Truth is very important so that the topic of sex later in life doesn't seem taboo for her. God didn't design our bodies to be ashamed of and so the topic of sex shouldn't be treated as one that is so shameful that we cannot tell our children the truth. She's 5, so only relay what she asks. Amazon.com sells the book and I think you might find one where you can see sneak preview pages. Good luck!!
My daughter knew at the age of 4, when a friend of mine was having a baby, that babies come out of a woman's vulva. When she asked a few days later *how* a baby fits through there I said " you know how when I use elastics to put your hair in a ponytail the elastic stretches, but then goes right back? Well..the vulva works the same way when it lets a baby out". To this day, 5 years later, I'm still very proud of my on the spot answer!
At around 6 y/o she asked me how the baby gets into the mom's belly and I told her it's a special kind of hug that moms and dads do and I'll explain it a bit more when she's a bit older. That totally satisfied her. Now that she's 9, the next time she asks me I'll go into the whole shebang. Or I'll sit down with her before she turns 10...whichever comes first. I want her to know it all before she starts to develop anywhere on her body.
Just give simple honest answers. They're not usually looking for an in depth answer.
It's always a good time to tell her the truth. Telling her the truth doesn't mean you have to be graphic. We told our daughter that mommies and daddies make babies and that they come out of the mommy's vagina. She knew what the vagina was because that's what we always called it.
I told my 4 yo this summer (when asked)
"there is a special hole near your privates that a woman has and where the baby comes out of."
She said "they come from your privates?"
to which I answered "no, it's a different hole, between your bottom and your privates"
" EEEEW, that's a bis-gusting (disgusting) place to come from!" Was her response!!!
Jennifer has the right attitude...handle it matter of factly...and handle it honestly...don't be afraid to arm your children with information.
My daughter just turned 5 and asked the same thing a few months ago. She specifically said "How do babies get in mommies' belly?" My response was "I will have to explain it to you when you are older". She asked "How babies get outof their mommies bellies?" I told her that the doctor helps take them out. She asked how...I told her there were two ways and both were done very carefully and I would have to explain more when she was older.
Being 6 months pregnant with baby #3, I've had lots of questions from my 4 1/2 year old along these lines. My answer to this one is "He'll come out of a special hole that mommies have." He already knows boys and girls have different anatomy from his potty-training days, so he seemed to understand. The question I've had trouble answering? "Where was I before I was in your belly?"
There are a lot of really good books with illustrations of varying degrees of detail. You can look them up on Amazon and find one that meets your needs at this time. I read one called It's Not The Stork to my daughter last year. It was very helpful.
When my 13 year old ask me how she was born when she was little(she was a C-section baby) I told her that the doctor made a door for her to come out.
Then when she grow up I explain that not all babies come the same way, some come from (I don't remember what word I use instead of vagina), in that time it wasn't (or at least I didn't know) as common for parents to use the correct word for it.
When my 3 year old ask me, I probably will say that she came from a hole that mamy had call vagaina (since she was a VBAC).
I guess it depends on how old, how much they are asking, and if it was a C-section or vaginal.
My suggestion is to ask THEM at this age how they think it works and how babies are made and accept that answer for the time being...this is the information I got when I asked my pediatrition after my daughter then 5 asked me the same thing.
Tell her the truth. Simple, but honest terms. You'll be surprised at how she receives it. I did, and my daughter was fine with the response :) I told her what you did. God makes babies, they grow in mommies. Then when she asked how they get out - I tried "the Dr. helps them come out", but she pushed so I said, they come out of mommies' privates. She said OK.
You can also say "the baby comes out of the birth canal". They called it this during the birthing classes and I actually asked "Is that the same small tunnel as the vagina or something higher up?" It's like they rebrand it for pregnancy/birthing purposes b/c vagina is too sexual or something, lol!
I have also used the "We have a special kiss, and you grow in my tummy" but I've learned to also not to answer too much. Sometimes if you just say "from my uterus" or "tummy" and leave them to ask the next question, they actually won't pursue it until they're older.
I handled a death/burial/cremation question poorly and learned quickly to KISS - keep it simple, silly!
Mommy's have a special hole that the baby comes out of. That's what I tell my kids (who are 4 and 6). I also have a birthing book that shows pretty much everything... they have seen it and they look at things from a very non-sexual point of view.
My daughter's seen her birth pictures she knows the doctors had to make a special cut because she was a little bugger and wouldn't come out. She knows that Mommy and Daddy and God are involved on baby making. She knows the basics of her own lady parts, we used a mirror so she could see. Most of this stems from having to put ointment on her now and then. She likes to see and direct me to the right "ouchie" places. I usually tell her and watch her reaction, she usually smiles says "ok" and goes about her business. I see no harm in alternate names for the parts of the body. Her clitoris is her "tickle bump" for example. I've never lied to her, just simplified things for her.
