Where Are the Parents???

My friend let her kids go out trick or treating with other older kids and no adults. Her kids are 8 and 11. So, I can see this happening if the 8 year old got left behind or ran ahead in the dark.

I tell my kids to look for a nice mom ( someone who looks like me with young kids) if they've lost me.

Maybe the kids ran ahead and then got lost. Who knows.

Why wouldn't an 8 year old boy who has gotten turned around and forgotten the way back home go with a nice mom who also has a son? I think that boy was pretty bright to get help from someone who wasn't sketchy.

The fact of the matter is, though the media paints it differently, MOST "strangers" are nice people who want to help a lost child. Statistics don't lie. That boy has a better chance of being struck by lightning and winning the lottery in the same day than he does of being kidnapped by a stranger-pedophile.

Yikes. I've always told my kids to look for a mom with kids.
She doesn't want another one ;)

I'm sure the parents were frantic. You are sounding judgmental. Things happen that we don't expect. Try giving them the benefit of the doubt.

It is hard to say. It was dark I'm sure. A lot of times the kids will start running ahead and the last kid at the door receiving treats gets left behind.

I think in this situation everyone should just thank heaven that everything worked out well and the child found nice people to help him.

M

Lately many are trained to teach their kids if they are lost to stick with a MOM with kids. Dr. Phil among other talk shows say this. Maybe this boy was trained to do just that. Maybe the boy used his instincts and felt safer with a mom and kids than alone on the streets.

No, I would not let my 8 year old away from me. I wonder if he is the youngest. I can kind of imagine a parent letting her 14, 12 and 8 year old out together.

I actually got lost from my husband last year. He had one kid I had the other. It happens.

I have always told my boys that if they were lost they should go to someone in a uniform or a mom with kids. I think the boy did the right thing. Why would she call the police? Wouldn't she just let the boy call his mom? If she had a cell phone she should have just offered to let him call from where they were and wouldn't have needed to take him anywhere, but if she didn't have a cell phone, then taking him home would be fine (although asking him for his address and taking to his own home would have made even more sense). Eight is a pretty reasonable age to start trick-or-treating without an adult. In fact, with all of the extra kids and parents out on the streets it is probably the safest night of the year to let the kid have a little independence! I imagine the parents were at home handing out candy.

I would not let my 8 yr old out alone, but I would tell her to look for a mom with kids if she got lost.

Okay, so a boy, who was lost, got into a car with a caring adult who had two other kids with her?

Personally, if I had been the person who'd found the child, I would have stayed put until someone with a cellphone came along, then would have asked the kid for their parent's phone number.

I think we can all go looking for reasons to be scared of strangers, or we can chalk it up to 'wow, isn't it great that there are also a lot of adults who are trying to look out for these kids?"

As for the parents? I don't know. I remember going out trick or treating when I was a kid with my cousins, the eldest was probably ten-- there are plenty of families who do let their kids run around in packs without thinking too much about it. Sometimes, frankly, I think we get so caught up in 'danger everywhere' sort of thinking that we sometimes forget how much we enjoyed being young people, having moments on our own with our friends. Instead, we have so many parents who wring their hands over every possible thing that we don't let our kids have enough independence. We don't let them get into situations where they might get to exercise a little street-sense (and if it is well-resolved, they gain confidence) and then instead they become even more dependent on us for *everything*. I think it's so detrimental to make our kids scared of everyone but family or known adults. In my life as a younger person, I've had times where I asked adults and other good strangers for help. Every single time, the outcome has been a good one. We need to remember that sometimes, these moments can help a kid feel capable and confident. Kids need to be able to work out some of their own problems. I'm not saying "just send them out without a plan", but notice:

This kid didn't go off with a lone grown-up. He didn't just go ring someone's doorbell at random and say "I'm lost"... I don't know what else to tell you. I don't know what the weather was like, if the kid was cold or scared and just so glad someone offered to help. Sometimes, all a kid can do is the best they can do. Sure glad it ended up well!

Not going with a stranger that tries to lure you away is one thing, but kids should be taught that it is okay for them to do the approaching and ask for help. Getting help from a mom with other kids is a low-risk scenario and a better choice than continuing to wander the streets.

The odd thing about this scenario is that at 8 years old, most kids can recite their own address and phone number. That would have been the first thing I'd have asked, if I was in your friend's shoes. Rather than take him to her house, she could have called or even taken him to his home.

I also wonder what happened to his friend, and if anyone helped that kid get home.

Scary.
We do t know the circumstances to this child getting lost.
Let's not get out our "jump to conclusions mat" just yet.
Your friend did the right thing.
DID she call the police? She should have.
At 8, couldn't the boy tell her his address?
I remember all of the kids in K learning that.

Well I'm not sure exactly what happened but my kids have always known if they were ever lost or in trouble to find an adult to help them, especially an authority figure or another mom.
So while yes, something bad could always happen, he really did what was best considering the circumstances, he let another mom help him.
Did the boy not know his address or phone number? I would find THAT troubling. How did he end up getting home?

I would have used my cell phone OR borrowed one from a stranger to call the police to report a found child.

There is no way I would take a child in my car anywhere, his parents could say he was kidnapped and accuse that person.

Calling the police would have been what I would have done and I would have stood under a light with this kid until they showed up.

BTW< what child this age doesn't know his own phone number? Or a friend from school to call. There are many ways to take care of this child.

Lost in his own neighborhood?
I would not worry b/c stranger danger is overblown big time!

The real danger was the car. If he was not in a booster, he was at serious risk. An 8-year-old cannot fit an adult seatbelt. The laws of physics are not so kind.

I believe that 8 is too young to be out trick or treating without an adult or teen siblings, even in a group, even on his own block. I wonder if his parent just sent him out, or if he was only supposed to go on his block and wandered farther away than his mom or dad told him to?
I wonder if the parent panicked when he/she realized that their kid was not only lost, but got into a car with a stranger. I would never have taken the lost kid in my car, I'd have asked for his phone number and called his parent right where I found him.
The thing about those stranger danger lessons is that they really don't sink in. It doesn't take much (some candy and being lost) for a kid to forget that they're not supposed to get in someone else's car, that people who even seem "safe" like a mom and her teen, are still strangers - they think that strangers are scary looking men.
My kids are now in HS and college. We live on a cul de sac road that connects with another cul de sac road, about 22 houses in all, and they went out without parents in a group of friends around the block at about 12 years old. My son might have been a little younger because he'd have gone with my daughter (who is 4 years older), her friend, the friend's siblings and usually another friend or two who were invited.

Who knows where the parents were?
When we were kids we went in groups with older teens looking out for everyone.
I was with a group when the guy who was our paper boy (he was like 19) hauled off and kicked a dog (bloodhound type) in the chops as it lunged out the door teeth bared toward a 5 yr old.
Yeah the owners were pissed but that dog was a menace and there was no way the 19 yr old was going to let any kid he was watching get mauled by that animal.

My daughter said a mother let her kids around age 3 and 4 come to our house alone. She was in her car driving slowly down the street blocking traffic.

An 8 yr old should not be unsupervised on Halloween ! That is so sad. It breaks my heart ! Obviously, the kid w/ him was not watching him too well.

Research does say that most kids would go w/ a stranger and can lured easily.

In any event, I am glad your friend kept him safe. I am sure this little 8 yr old was scared and confused. Kudos to your friend.

I am still in shock that 8 yr old would be w/ a friend w/out adult supervision...at night, no less !

Poor kid must have been scared ....and where were the parents? And maybe, I am too overprotective, but in this day and age, I wouldn't let my 8 year old go out trick or treating by himself...

So how did he finally get in touch with his parents?