I am asking this on behalf of my nephew. My sister (his mother) is not speaking to some of us (including me). She thinks that we are the ones in the wrong. This little boy will be 3 on Jan. 6th. He can only say a few words. He can put two words together if you have him repeat it. He is a very scared little boy. Toys that make noise scare him, my other nephew (1 week apart) scares him, so does my puppy. I mean scared to the point of screams. The screams are a different kind of scream. One that makes my husband ask that i not have him spend the night. (this is all before halloween... when my sister decided that she was going to stop speaking to us) I know that something is going on with him. My sister is very young, just turned 21. The father is no longer in the picture. (there is a new man who she is pregnant with his child, that is another post) My sisters and i (not the mother) are very worried about our nephew. Are we overreacting? At what point do you worry? Maybe we should not have stepped in? Thank you for your advice :)
Most states have free early intervention programs. The eval would be free to her. He may have a sensory issue.
If she won't do it, there's not much you can do. But when he starts school, it will be addressed. Too bad he would not have had the chance to make strides before then.
Sounds to me like this boy could be on the Autism Spectrum. My son was diagnosed at 2 and is now 4 1/2 doing very well because of all the early intervention therapies he received since around age 18 months. Many counties have free services to assist with these kinds of delays.
Could you send her some information to her email or maybe talk to one of her close friends that she listens to? Your delivery is key, you need to stress that you love her and her son and you just want to help her avoid much worse issues as he gets older and is in school. The longer she waits to get him the help he needs the worse his journey will be.
I wish you luck, you are in a tough spot.
You are not over reacting to be concerned. I can't speak to the way you presented this to the mom. These can be signs of a sensory processing disorder as well as delayed speech.
Federal law requires that local school districts "locate and identify individuals who have disabilities, birth through age 21." There is no charge. I suggest you call the school district office and ask for their Early Intervention Program office about how to proceed.
Do it right away. That particular program is available only up to the age of 3 though there is another program that kicks in after age 3.
We started worrying about my nephew at 18 months when he said nothing. He doesn't have issues with being scared, but he does have behavioral issues and we think it's related to his inability to communicate. My sister is the same way, she doesn't want to hear that anything is wrong because he pediatrician is taking the wait and see attitude. However, there is nothing you can do, he's not your kid. But I think you should have stepped in because at 21 she may not realize that this is a problem and you could of helped. She took it the wrong way, as did my 37 year old sister, but I don't regret saying something, and since she is still talking to us, I will still say something. I think it's always best to get help as soon as possible. No harm will come from him seeing a developmental specialist, but if you sister won't take him, you can't really do anything about it. Maybe if she starts talking to you again, you can ask her what harm will come from seeing someone, and what good will come from seeing someone.
What does it mean when you say you shouldn't have stepped in? The way things are approached makes a world of difference. Do you believe you handled the situation appropriately?
I had the same problem with my son only he couldn't say any words at all before he was three. I do know that when something isn't right, mothers know, it just takes time to put pieces together. I always knew something wasn't right and it took a while to realize it. Feeling, knowing, and realizing something are all a different thing. She probably feels it but it's going to take time to know and realize it. When you realize it, you then know you need to take action. As a sister, all you can do is point out the behavior he displays when he is with you and that it concerns you. Best wishes for your nephew and sister! I have two speech troubled children and its not easy.
Well, unfortunately, unless your sister (the mother) recognizes that there are problems, you can't do a whole lot.
At this point, she is refusing to think there are any problems. Frankly, that isn't uncommon..... pretty much everyone wants the perfect, healthy child... and admitting that your child has a problem can be a difficult step.
He probably needs an evaluation... my grandson just had an evaluation with a pediatric behavior specialist, and was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. One of the things we kept seeing was his sensitivity to noise.. he doesn't like loud noises, either... not to the point of screaming, but fearful, or covering his ears.
However, we saw these issues and the mother did, also... so she got the referral, and now has a referral for Physical Therapy.
How to get his mother to recognize this? Frankly, I don't know.
sounds like he has sensory disorder and speech issues. Please tell your sister to call eraly intervention right away. They will help them get through this difficult time and give them the help they need. You can find the local early intervention number online. It may take a bit of time to get the eval so call right away.
She sounds to be very deep in denial.
She already has a new man and another pregnancy.
She has cut off you all. Because she doesn't want to deal with, what is.
Is her son, cared for properly?
Safely?
Who is this new man anyway?
Sure, it is hard to surmise, when/if to step in.
Or if there is over-reaction etc. on your part.
But... if the child is neglected or mistreated or what have you... then shouldn't someone go to her home...and speak to her???? She can stop speaking to you... but you can always go over to her home. And have a civil talk.
Check things out, her home environment, the child, eye ball things. Using common sense.
Your sister is young.
Maybe she really does not know, how to be a Mom or what to do, or just does not want, meddlers.
But... you and others sense that this boy is not developmentally on par.
But, only the Mom can speak to the Doctor about that.
I hope she at least takes him to his well child check-ups.
But maybe she does know... and just does not tell anyone. Because it is private.
My oldest didn't talk until he was almost three. He didn't have to we would get him everything he wanted without asking. Once we had a second and didn't have the time to wait on him, he learned.
My younger son didn't talk until he was almost three and it was far different. Both were frustrated that they couldn't communicate but the younger just couldn't. You could tie him down and repeat what ever over and over and over, didn't learn. We had to bring a speech therapist in. He has PDD which if you are not familiar is an Autism spectrum disorder.
You really haven't said enough to know whether there is a serious issue or not. Perhaps see if she is willing to get a evaluation with parents as teachers or some other group. It is usually free and done in the home. Then you will know.
I can't speak for your sister's particular issue. But, when my son turned 2, he could only speak about 5 words. His pediatrician recommended that I contact Early Intervention Services because he felt that he should be speaking more by that point.
Good luck with your sister and her son!
I have a nephew that is 3 1/2 and is scared of everything too....flies, birds, butterflies, cats, dogs, all animals, train noises, horns, walking from room to room by himself, the list goes on and on...and funny thing....he screams awhole lot...and is not pleasant to be around him...I think it is because he isn't taken out many places because of his screaming habit...he is not subjected to outside things...just stays indoors all day.
Like others said, early intervention can help. even though he is almost 3 he can get services until he is three and then another branch in the IU takes over. After the child turns 3 they are eligible for many more services including free schooling during the day where they receive things like speech therapy and OT for sensory issues. It sounds like he could use these services which are all completely free. Unfortunately you are not his mother and can only suggest to your sister which is difficult if she isn't speaking to you. Like someone else said, perhaps approaching the new man in her life and explaining it all to him and then perhaps he can persuade her to get some help. She may know there is a problem and be in denial as it may be painful for her to realize something is wrong with him, or she may be oblivious. Either way, he should have help, and the sooner the better. You can only do so much, but it can never hurt to try to help a child.
Similar to other posts, I agree with trying to encourage your sister to reach out to early intervention. If your sister lives in PA, there should be an Intermediate Unit associated with each county (I live in Chester County, so I contacted the CCIU). Try out this website: http://www.dpw.state.pa.us/forchildren/earlyinterventions.... It might not hurt to mention that 1) the evaluation is free, and 2) if your nephew qualifies, the services are free as well. So, there would be no cost on her part. They work with the mom as well to make the therapy sessions as easy as possible. My son receives his at his daycare for his speech. The earlier it can be addressed, the better. Other kids are more innocent now and less likely to make fun of him. As they start to enter elementary school, the likelihood of being teased for something that can be corrected increases. Also, speech therapy has an EXTREMELY HIGH success rate. Good luck. Maybe there's a way that you guys could get her to call to "keep you off her back" (I know that's not your intension, but it might be how she's seeing it right now). Another possibility might be to try and go through the new man in her life? She might be more willing to listen to him than to her family right now. Again, good luck.
Yes, you should be worried but if your sister isn't speaking to you, what can you do? My son started speech therapy through Early Childhood Intervention and it has made his life so much better! It is a great program but since she waited until he is over 3, he is not eligible but he IS eligible for speech therapy through his local Elementary School. The child's pediatrician should have addressed this issue with your sister-perhaps they did and your sister ignored them, too. She is doing a disservice to her son and her lack of action will impact him for the rest of his life. Also, his fear of everything may be unrelated and once again, the pediatrician should be able to direct your sister to the right care.
