When Do You Stop Giving Presents?

nope.
i get that it works for some folks and under some circumstances, but i find it grim. everyone get up on christmas morning, hand each other some cash and then what?
ish.
my kids are 25 and 30. they still get presents.
when my parents got older they gave me the cash to buy my kids stuff from them.
khairete
S.

At this age, I would only give cash if it was to match funds he'd already saved for a specific big-ticket item we supported. Otherwise, you get the gift you are given. We listen to interests, choose things thoughtfully. Kiddo once saved up a LOT of money for an iPad, so we paid the last $70 or so to make it happen. This Christmas, no cash-- Santa has plenty of ideas and so do we. (No, Santa doesn't give money, WE the parents do, and usually not at Christmas. Maybe a birthday. Again, matching funds only. He has an allowance and ample opportunities to earn.)

I have one child (slightly older than yours) who finds it very hard to give ideas. He is just like his dad - if they want something, they save up for it and buy it. Minimalists. So I like that idea of something to read, something you want, something to wear, something you need - for him. He can manage that. So I've never actually had to give him cash - although if I asked him the same question you did, he'd probably say he'd be fine with cash. I just can't do it.

I ended up going with a drone by the way, some wireless headphones (not the really expensive one), a game for his device, and a book.

What I have done is - if they have saved up a bunch towards a big item, for example, an electronic of some sort - I will top off what they've saved so they can buy it. So it's cash in a way, but we go get the thing for the day. That's how my kids bought their cell phones, or ipads. They saved up most of it, and I gave them money towards it.

Grandparents here - my mom isn't able to go out and shop for the kids. So she has always sent me money to me. My mom is a useful kind of person, so one year we got everyone good quality sleeping bags, duvets, etc. The other grandparents gave all the kids an xbox, etc. They used to give tons of gifts but it was overkill and it usually was more than we did with Santa combined. We didn't like where it was heading. Now they give experience gifts (thanks to Mamapedia) - great idea. We get tickets to a show or hockey game.

I give my adult kids gifts. It isn't that hard.

Wrap up gifts that your child needs, such as clothes, pj's, socks, underwear and toiletries. Everyone, at any age, appreciates new stuff, even just necessities. As for cash and gift cards I like to wrap them up with a book, a wallet or a box of candy. Gifts don't need to be toys.

We have never done cash for Christmas or Hanukkah. Sometimes we do a gift certificate for something very specific that we just cannot purchase (e.g. running shoes or gear for my son where size is really essential). Even so, sometimes we give the item and a return receipt in case the size is wrong.

If it turns into an exchange of cash (I give you $20, you give me $20), then it's just a money craze and totally against the spirit of the holidays. It's about bringing gifts, and not expecting anything in return. It's about knowing the person well enough to choose something they would like, and about the recipient having decent manners to thank the giver and appreciate the time the giver put into it.

We always limited wish lists for the same reason - there's no joy, no surprise, no real fun in putting a check mark on a list a child made in anticipation of his demands being met.

My son did get cash on occasion (for birthdays more than holidays) and he was not allowed to spend it until a decent and nicely-worded thank you was written, addressed and mailed. And if he balked at writing a note for a gift, we told him he could write a thank you or write a note saying why he didn't want the gift and why we were sending it back! Of course, we wouldn't really have done the latter, but since he was faced with writing a note either way, he naturally chose the thank you. To this day, as an adult, he writes real and heartfelt thank you notes.

I suggest you challenge your son to think more about what he's giving others and less on what he hopes to accumulate. That's usually a good wake-up call when kids get to be his age. I think his view is common - once the "magic" of Santa wears off and the bombardment of commercials gets them thinking about "gimme this and gimme that," they are stuck before they've matured into the responsibility of thinking, purchasing, and wrapping. It's a good age to stop doing everything for him and get him involved with the younger one as well as the grandparents.

I would give him cash but I would also make sure I was the one taking him shopping to spend it. A 10 year old doesn't really have the brain function to always make the right choice.

BUT I'd also want to really really know why he wants money. Most kids his age have long lists of things they want and if he has a list of things then you could pick off that list. If he has everything he wants then perhaps he has too much and could save his cash for something he wants that is out of his reach right now.

Our son is very involved in the ordering process for xmas gifts - so there are few surprises BUT he knows what he's getting and it's the right thing/model/color/etc and no disappointments.
We've been doing this since he was about 12 and it works well now that he's 18.

I don't give cash, only presents. Our 12 yr old gets gift cards and cash from aunts and uncles, but she will always have presents under our tree.

My daughter is 23 and her dad and I have been separated since she was four, divorced since she was six. My ex-husband hates to shop and my daughter likes to shop so he has given her about $500 in a gift card since she was about 12. She never spends it all at once and probably takes her six months to use. I give gifts so it's a nice balance since the ex still comes here for Christmas morning...19 years later!!

Our eldest is a freshman in college. He is still getting gifts. Of course, he will get some gift cards, too. But cash? No. He can earn his own if it's for frivolous things. If it's something he needs, we usually cover that stuff. His job, right now, is school. Next semester, he can look at working while in school.

Daughter is 15. She also will not be getting cash. If she wants something during the year, we are normally fine with taking care of it, within reason. She has not worked (occasional babysitting only) and doesn't have the time. She is heavily involved in extracurriculars and is a top-notch student. That is her job for now.

Some gift cards for her, too (fast food, movie ticket cards, etc), but not cash.

And there is NO WAY that is ALL they would get (cash or gift cards). My own parents (who are 74 and 75) still give us actual gifts at Christmas every year. Not expensive things... but gifts... not money.

We do a mix. I usually get a few small items and give gift cards to places they love to shop. This started because I was always returning the items I bought. One year I knew I did such a great job with my daughter on a sweater and two days before Christmas she walks in with the exact sweater she bought with her own money. 😏 They love getting gift cards because after the holidays it's fun to shop and a lot is on sale. I always do stockings and they always get new pajamas Christmas Eve.

Your son is at a more difficult age. Sometimes I can easily determine what my son likes. Other times, not so much. He received money for his 13th bday from several people. He still has it (from September). I told him to wait until he found something he really wanted instead of buying for the sake of buying. I'm sure he will wind up using it on the Dodge Charger he's bought to restore.

Updated

I started getting it as a teen, in addition to clothing. When my family started noticing that I didn't seem very enthusiastic about the clothing, would not wear it, or they had to keep returning it because it didn't fit or flatter me, then they started giving me cash only (inside a personal Christmas card they'd write a message in), or cash (again, inside a card) and costume jewelry, maybe cash and a purse -- stuff that doesn't require trying on. I love getting cash or gift cards, it gives me the freedom to buy something I need (shoes, jeans, underwear, groceries, gas, paying the car mechanic) without feeling pressured to wear something someone got me and I disliked, or having more clothing than I need at the time. I may be more pressed to pay $500 to the mechanic and a $100 gift card would help a lot in that respect, rather than having a fourth pair of black shoes.

We all give each other cash in my family, or gift certificates for those reasons. It's so much easier and no one wants to go on NYE weekend when the malls are bursting and stand for 1-2 hours in line to return something or exchange it, and then have to go yet again to take it back because it didn't fit or it was not liked. My kiddo (10 years old) has too many toys and everything she could possibly need and is getting older. She is fine with getting an "experience" (aka, a vacation/road trip to a fun place) as a holiday gift, rather than toys, though she also likes getting new 3DS games or XBox games. She loves Legos and has plenty, so this year I am surprising her with a trip to Legoland Florida and some other fun stops like ice tubing at a hotel, and visiting some holiday attractions.

Perhaps your son would also like an experience. A cruise perhaps? Going to an aquarium and having an up close sea creature experience (like swimming with the dolphins)? A road trip somewhere fun? An amusement park? Front row tickets to a band or sports team he likes? I guess that is similar to giving cash (no unwrapping needed), but at least there may still be some mystery as to what type of experience you're choosing to gift to him every year. My mom gets my daughter clothes, because she is constantly outgrowing her outfits and my daughter's still at an age where she is okay with wearing whatever we pick for her (always useful, play outfits and sneakers, rather than frilly dresses she'd hardly ever wear).

My two oldest (19 & 18) have gotten cash from relatives for a few years. Sometimes they want something specific but mostly they like having a full wallet. My son really just wants cash this year because he has to put struts in his car and wants to buy a pair of boots that are pretty pricey. I'll give him some cash, but also bought some things for him to open that he'll like - flannel sheets with goofy cartoon on them, thermal layers because he works outside, and a small Star Wars Lego kit because he always likes those.

Never!
I'll probably add in and pad with cash at some point down the line if I felt it was necessary but my mother who lives out of state has always included cash $ for the kids so they are covered. My MIL just asked if the boys would be cool w/cash this year which she did with the older set of boys around this age (oldest is 13) too, so I said of course! Whatever you're given you are happy with is how we do it around here. I got a mixture growing up but mostly cash from older relatives and real gifts from parents.

Hello S.,
I am not planning to stop giving presents. Even the smallest things wrapped in colorful paper and shiny ribbons make people happy, and much more a child. Your kid is still young, and I am sure he will enjoy a present no matter what.
About presents, my husband and I didn't give expensive presents to our children (as Santa, or St, Nicholas, or as parents)for a long time, so we still have many options. Kids don't need to have what their friends have all the time.
There are several things that my kids have on their list, but we choose one or two from it only. We could not afford it!.
My teenager doesn't own a Laptop (it may sounds weird for some; he built his own computer, though) so, this year he is getting one since he is going to college. We do include some money inside a Christmas mug, or a gift card from my son's favorite store. Clothes? yes! cool stuff he likes to wear. Flash drives, accessories for his room or desk (he loves computers and things related). One Wii U game or so and a favorite DVD are other options we are thinking of. He also likes learning about computer programs, there are plenty of books or software out there: another option!
My 10 year-old kid loves Lego sets; as many kids, he has so many that this year he is getting may be one big set only; a storage system or colorful bins are a good idea as well. He is on a swim team, so he will get a new swimsuit, and new goggles.
Both of my kids love reading, and besides their favorite books or series, they will get small reading lamps or fun accessories.
More ideas?: bean bags, board games, chocolates and cookies, bookmarks, calendars, collection gifts (my youngest collects rocks), science sets, games to play outdoors for summer.
What about camping accessories, do your child likes camping out?
Well, these are my ideas; I hope these help you a bit.
Have a wonderful day, and do not stress over such a beautiful time; it is not worth it. Make it simple, and enjoy your family. Wrap things beautifully, and have fun!

I still don't get just cash from my parents for Christmas (unless I NEED it).

My kids are 13, 11, and 9 - none of them get cash. My 13 year old got it for her birthday this year and she was bummed, but she told us 100% it was what she wanted. So we will never do that again - maybe unless they are adults and need it.

None of mine believe anymore, but they will still get their 3 Santa gifts per kid.

My grandfather sends my mom a check to buy things with, but everyone else sends gifts. My sister is sending cash this year, but I am just thankful she is sending anything, since it's been a stressful relationship year for us (because of her husband). I got her family passes to a local museum where they live - they just moved.

We sometimes give a combo of gifts and gift cards to our teens. Sometimes only gifts. We do not give cash and would not give only gift cards either.

We have a lot of grandparents in the family due to divorces/remarriages. Some grandparents always have given just cash. Others buy gifts or give gift cards. Some used to ask the kids for "lists" but I think the grandparents have given up on that request because the kids now feel too old to make a list for themselves for relatives. And it just felt kind of awkward like they were placing orders for the exact things they wanted. Some grandparents begged us for "hints" and wanted us to direct them to specific items for them. Some wanted to know everything that we and everyone else purchased so they would not duplicate, and then for us to tell everyone else to not buy what they had purchased. Usually the grandparents random gifts have been very treasured and fun surprises. The rare duplicate or wrong sized items got returned/exchanged, no big deal. One set of grandparents is super terrific about always including gift receipts. The other set has never, not once, saved or included a gift receipt.