What Should I Do - Tarzana,CA

That sounds like how my youngest used to be. She'll eventually get over it. She'll probably always be close to Mom though. My son still cries when I take him to kindergarten because i won't stay with him.

My 15 month old is like this a lot ,too, when I am not around as much. I try to focus a lot on him and hold him as much as possible. I also wear him in a back carrier as much as possible when we are walking. The closeness seems to help. When I try to stay away from him to do other things, his is a lot clingier. Good luck.

Dear S.,

You just happen to have a clingy child, and you need to tend to her clinginess with patience and love. Just stay close to her, no more hiding.

She will let you go when she is ready. Realize that we are all individuals and this particular individual child needs your closeness and reassurance. The more you give her and the more attentive you are, the more she will trust that you will always be there for her and she will eventually take a few steps from you. You can learn to have her beside you while you do other things, let her hang onto your slacks or skirt of blouse, or hold her hand while you are doing your stuff. Make her feel wanted and welcome.

Have patience and just take her with you in your volunteering or whenever you can. When she is two, then you can go to a preschool class with her and it will help her adjust to the world, maybe without mother. Don't try to push her away, it won't work, and will just make it worse.

It is your job,just do it with grace and dignity, do not make any excuses to anyone. Just stand by your child and she will do well.

Umhuh, that is right. C. N.

For 15 months, that's pretty typical so be happy that it is a stage and someday will go away.

I would really include her in your day. She can do/"help" you with things throughout the day. You can set her up in whatever room you're working in and give her some things to do.

I also spent time sitting with my 15 mth old and talking to them, reading with them, singing music to them and just hanging out a lot.

Jen D.

Are you talking about your daughter cries while you volunteer?
Well, either way, I remember them telling me to just say no. It was so hard. I had to teach her that she can't always have her way. If you pick them up every time they cry, then they'll cry every time they want to be picked up. It's hard but you have to just say no. Maybe say, I'll pick you up, but you have to stop crying. If you cry, then I won't pick you up. Maybe she's not too young to understand this. I don't know. It's been so long. Mine are 14 and 15 now. :) good luck.
(Mine cried when I was in their classroom helping out. I volunteered from kindergarten to 6th grade. I loved helping the teachers teach, but could never be a teacher with the patience required for kids and their parents. I had a great time, but my kids tended to want to go home for every little thing. Someone upset them, "Mom can we go home?" or they had a tummy ache, "I don't feel good. Can we go home?" I had to say no and it pained me. But being busy helping the teacher helped me to stay firm. I had to say things like, "No, we're here now and you have to finish. Mommy has to help Valerie learn her ABC's so we can't go." They pouted but we stayed.
I wish you well with your kids! Being a parent is sometimes very nerve wrecking!

Your favorite phrase right now needs to be: This too shall pass. You're dealing with separation anxiety, which is annoying as heck but totally normal. Make sure you don't sneak away when you leave the house. She'll cry but she'll also learn that mommy comes home and that she can trust you to do so. Good luck, this is a challenging time.

It is a phase and this too shall pass. Don't hide from her, deal with the situation. Love her, hold her, she is trying to tell you in the best way that she knows how that she needs you or she needs something and she can't tell you in words. Just think about how quickly the time will pass and she will be too big to pick up or too busy driving to the mall to want to be with you!

It sounds age appropriate. She loves her Mom!

I have a 5 1/2 year old son and I am 52 years old. My son did the same thing!

Check to see if the time that you are spending volunteering isn't intruding on your time with your daughter...maybe the pressure of having to be somewhere at a certain time isn't appropriate right now as your daughter needs you.

Be well and ENJOY the holidays with your family.

I just read an article that stated children from 11months to 18 months go through separation anxiety and always want to be able to see where you are or be near you. This is suppose to happen at night when they go to bed also. It said that this will come to pass. Just let her feel confident in knowing that you are there for her. Hope this helps.

just talk to her tell her its ok when mommys not thier kids get scared and dont nkow whats going on and they get confused but talking to them and explaining to them they will listen

Do you mean when you leave her someplace? If so, rest assured that even if she is crying while you are leaving, there is a large chance that 2 minutes later she'll be fine. It was heartbreaking to leave my little one at daycare when he was crying his head off for me, but his sitter said he stopped nearly the minute the door closed. He's 12 now and has no lasting emotional damage. :-) Good luck!

If she cries for you then the answer is pretty simple: go to her don't hide from her! At this age with new walking skills that allow them more freedom, it's very typical for a baby who would previously play happily to suddenly become clingy. Use a sling or carrier to allow her to be close to you while you work around the house. My 16 month old spends more time in the Ergo now than she did at 6 months when she started crawling. I just recently started leaving her for quick errands (at 14 months) but now am taking her with me more often than not b/c she's not separating well. This is very typical. Please meet your baby's need to be close to you; she'll be less clingy as she gets older.

I'm not sure if you are talking about when you are leaving the house or if this is a consistent thing throughout the entire day. But I'll tell you about my experience and maybe it will help. It sounds like separaton anxiety and it's normal :-) It will pass eventually, when she feels more confident.

My son does the same thing at times, but I've noticed a pattern. I work and when I stay late at work consistently and I don't see him much except for at bedtime, he gets like this. Also, if I'm busy with something (one thing after another) and I'm not really paying attention to him as much as I should he gets clingy and cries to be held. So, first, see if there is some pattern in your life causing your child to want to be closer to you all the time. When my son gets like this I have to take a deep breath and forget about work and everything else and just make some time to be with him and play with him.

Also, I've found that routine helps. I started working when he was 5 months old. At about 8 months old he started crying and shrieking every time I left for work in the morning. It broke my heart and I'd cry on the way to work. I wanted to hide from him, too, to spare us both the pain. But I felt that I needed to be upfront with him. I couldn't not work. So he had a morning routine and part of the routine was putting on my shoes before I left the house and telling him that mommy had to go work. When I picked up my shoes he's start to cry. But I always kissed him, told him that I loved him, I'd be home later, we'd play when I got home, and that I was going to work. He cried every single day for months on end. Also, once you leave, LEAVE. Don't go back. Don't give him false hope that you are going to walk back through the door.

In a few months time, he'd cry a little when I left. Now, at 16 months old he waves bye-bye some mornings and some mornings he cries. But he gets over it quickly. He KNOWS I leave EVERY morning, that I'm not coming back until dark, and that I WILL come back. That's our routine. Perhaps you could set up a routine of sorts with your daughter that works for the two of you.

When I'm home with him and he cries to be held and picked up all the time... I do hold him a lot to make up for time I'm not there, but I can't hold him constantly. I give him lots of hugs and kisses and tell him that I love him. I try to include him in what I'm doing. He "helps" me clean the house, do the dishes, etc. Sometimes I try to distract him by playing with toys. Often, I just reach for his hand and I hold his hand as we walk around the house. He quits crying right away and a minute later he pulls away to go do his own thing.

So, in short, give your daughter lots of love, hugs, and kisses. Make sure she knows that you are always there for her and to be depended on. A routine might help. In time, this clingy behavior will go away or at least reduce enough to not drive you crazy!

Easy solution. Pick her up! I had one of these little clingers, too. He always wanted to be with mommy. If I put him down he would follow me around saying "Up! Up! Up!" The videos we took of that time crack us up now. Do not hide from your child! Do not try to change her - change your attitude towards it instead. Many kids in this age range simply need the assurance of being held by mommy. She is still a baby. You want her to know she can count on you. You want her to know that mommy is there if she needs or wants you. This stage won't last forever, and your little clinger will be all grown up before you know it. Mine just turned 21. If I could go back in time to those "clingy" years I'd do it in a split second.

She's normal! When you need to leave always tell her, "Mommy always comes back. I love you." Then when you come back tell her again, "Mommy always comes back. I love you!" I went throgh this with my oldest son who is 4 now. Every once in a while he will worry or get upset because I have to go somewhere. I always tell him that I always come home. It works fairly well. It does take several times before they believe you though! There is a video about it that is pretty good.

Bend down to her level. Hold her on the floor or in a chair. Insist with her that you will hold her on her level. She may just give up asking you to hold her as much. Don't give up. It may take you several times before you are successful.

This will pass...
and you will blink & you will have a 26 month old like mine who constantly says "I do it!" "No mommie, go away!" and you'll cry. ;) Your child's independance from you will spring up quickly enough. Enjoy this time.... even though its super hard!!!!!!