What Should I Do? - Magnolia,TX

hmmmmm...that is an awkward situation for sure. Did she tell you about this herself? If not then I wouldn't worry too much because it is hearsay, if she told you directly then just tell her what you think. I mean if you guys are friends then friendship is about honesty. It is not judging her to not agree with her lifestyle, we are all free to have our opinions about things. I had a friend in a very toxic relationship at one point. I just couldn't hear about it anymore. I finally told her that I was her friend, I loved her, if she chose to marry this guy I would be at that wedding dancing my socks off but I could not listen to one more detail of that relationship. It hurt her but our friendship survived and I was in her wedding recently and got to watch her marry an amazing guy. So if she is important to you as a friend just tell her the truth, you disagree with that lifestyle and don't want to hear about it anymore, if she respects that, then you may be able to continue being friends. If not, cut it off. As far as the house things goes, I mean you don't live at her house. We are no swingers around here and man I have more laundry lying around than I am proud of and a sink with too many dishes myself, but I am great friend;) So I wouldn't worry too much on that point. Hope it all works out!!

You don't have to be friends with her. Just break it off.

if she brings up the open marriage thing, just tell her to each their own, but that kind of thing isn't for you and it makes you kinda uncomfortable to talk about it. if she keeps bringing it up, she's not a good friend. a good friend respects boundaries.
as for keeping a "nasty house"...if it really is "nasty" (i.e. old, moldy food; dirty diapers on the floor; trash all over the place; rodents or insects all over; etc.) then you should try and get her help for the welfare of her children. if it's just cluttered, not sparkling clean every day, laundry piled up, etc., well some people are just like that. clutter or dirty dishes on the sink or dust on the shelves shouldn't be grounds for judgement from a friend. kids in an unsanitary environment IS

It seems to me that you became online friends then on-the-phone friends for some reason, maybe because you are both mothers of two children. I don't think you have a problem with that. If you two discuss issues about the children, that may be the limit of your friendship.

When a subject comes up that you are not comfortable accepting or talking about, say something like as long as you both want to be friends, that is a subject you don't want to hear about or discuss. Or can't

I encourage my teenager to look for other friends if he finds out that someone he has made a friendship with smokes weed! And I would encourage you to look around for others who could be a friend.

As to "bring myself down", don't stand for it. Don't be mean, just be assertive. Keep to your morals and let her know that you don't condone what she has done. You may find that you two can remain friends or that you can't.

Good luck!

P.S. I rather like what Heather says. I was thinking along the same ideas.