What Is It like for a Girl to Grow up Only with Brothers?

My niece is the only girl with 2 older and 1 younger brother. She holds her own with the boys and they look out for her.

When I was a child I wanted a sister but I also wanted a pony, ya know? A lot of things sound like they would be great but in practice not at all.

It was only my brother and I but the biggest fights we got into were when he wouldn't let me play with his stuff. I was probably more boyish than my brother.

When I look at my kids I see the same dynamic. They play with each other, there is no gender divide. My older daughter hangs out with her older brother more than her little sister.

I loved being the only girl. I was spoiled and protected and still feel that way as a grown woman. I truly never longed for a sister. Had I been able to plan the sex of my children I would have had two boys then a girl just like we were growing up.

Hi Lean,

I grew up with all brothers. I had a sister but she had moved out by the time I was born and was never around. Like never. I LOVED growing up with my brothers. I was always super comfortable around boys and girls and not just girls. They were protective of me. They picked on my, but then they picked on each other, too. It was basic sibling stuff. They taught me how to defend myself. They taught me how to speak up. They taught me how to shake it off when things happened. My middle brother tried to teach me how to ride a bike, but his best intentions went south when he pushed me down the hill in our backyard into the clothesline pole. He meant well.

My daughter has the same relationship with her brothers. They monitor who talks to her, what she's wearing (if they think it's not modest enough, which is hilarious to see). They stand up for her if her friends are mean to her. They are great. For example, last night my daughter wanted to go to a movie that was playing in the park. I told her she wasn't allowed to attend along (she's 11) and that we had company. My 18 year old son got up and walked her to the park, bought her snacks and stayed until after 10 PM so she could watch Chipwrecked with her friends. He then walked each of them to their house. He's a GREAT big brother.

It can go either way when it comes to siblings. I think it has EVERYTHING to do with what you foster in your home. We are "family first" kind of folks. It's what we promote and what we reward. Your little girl will be fine and I am sure you will teach those boys how to be amazing brothers.

I'm the oldest, and have 2 younger brothers and grew up with boy cousins next door. Yeah, my barbies dressed up in camo and I knew Ninja Turtles, GI Joe, Transformers, and could ace anyone in a NERF gun war. I played ice hockey for years with only guys. I can win a fist fight. Being the only girl, I learned to have HEART.

As an adult, I take all that with me, HOWEVER, there is virtually no trace of the tomboy I once was on the outside. I can wear a killer pair of heels like a PRO... while changing a tire ;)

I have 2 older brothers.
They are (and have always been) my heroes!

You can date their cute friends, and people think twice about messing with you! LOL

Did the y torture me when I was little? Sure. But it's all good! :)

i've got boy boy girl boy. My even boys are extreme boys - all stereotypical boy stuff. The first boy is very much into sports and other traditional boy things and will get physical, but he will also sit for hours reading, doing puzzles, etc and is very caring/protective of the other siblings.

As for my daughter - she hits both extremes. She is a princess who wears a tiara daily, thinks the world is ending if I request her to wear pants, loves princesses, dolls, pink, etc. However, she will be dressed in a princess costume playing swords with the boys, pretending to be the knight in shining armor. She doesn't think twice about sucker punching a boy twice her size if he runs over her on the playground. She has a "boy" sense of humor. That is basically her dynamic.

Oh yeah...and she refers to her brothers as "my boys".

Will she wish for a sister when she's older - probably. I know I did and I just had one brother. In my ideal world before I had kids , my perfect family would have been 2 boys and 2 girls. But all those boys really round out my ultra frilly, feminine daughter in a good way. She's still very young, but if things continue the way they do, I don't worry about her in the teenage years very much because she is already being taught to fend for herself, stick up for herself, and will have a great and vast knowledge of dealing with boys.

You remind me of me. Initially hubby & I planned on 4 kids (2 boys & 2 girls). In order we got boy (10), girl (8), boy (7), then boy (5). Girl was fine at this point played well loved brothers and yet is girlie girl. We decided to try for another girl (3), and then we'd make it an even half dozen and had girl(1). So are you Done Done...cause it is always possible...my dad had 10 brothers and 1 sister. That aunt enjoyed being the only girl. Ok i just reread your post so never mind your done...she will be fine well adjusted you will show her how to be a lady and hubby and boys will teach her how a lady is to be treated.

i think it's like anything else - its all about attitude. you can raise her to feel deprived about it and wish her whole life she had a sister (HOW many people in this world do just fine without one?) or you can raise your children to ALL love and respect each other and stick up for one another. some of these stories are really making me sad. i'm closer to my brothers than i ever was or will be to my sister. it's not about gender. at all.

if she's a girlie girl, whose to say another girl of yours would be? even if you had another girl they may have NOTHING in common as my sister and i did. and she may be one of the boys and be right in there with them.

don't even allow her to think like she's missing out. SHE ISN'T. her life is great just as it is.

I grew up with two older brothers, and all my cousins were boys. I was (still am) part tom boy and part girlie-girl.
When we were young I held my own with the boys. We lived on a ranch and my cousin lived on a dairy farm. So we were always outside playing and getting dirty. Playing in ditches, fishing, playing baseballs, catch, football, you name it I did it. It's how I learned archery and how to shoot a gun. If my brothers said I couldn't do something, I would run out there and do it better then them (still a better shot then both of them), and my dad never refused me doing anything just because I was a girl.
I also loved to play with make up, my barbies and cabbage patch kids, my stuffed animals, and play dress up. All the more "girlie" things I played alone, but when you are around so many boys I didn't mind to be by myself at times.
I can say that they didn't protect me, or watch over me like some bigger brothers do. One was way older and has some mental issues. He wanted/wants to be the protector but doesn't have the capability of being that role. The other was always selfish and worried about his social life (still is). So I never had that big brother protecting me figure, but that was ok. Maybe because I had been around boys my whole life I was tough and just sort of took on the attitude of "you're a boy I know how you operate so get out of my face."
While I am not all that close to my brothers as adults, it really had nothing to do with me being the only girl. That was more life and decisons and stuff.
Sometimes you will get that "sisterly bond" later in life. My best friend and I call each other our sister of the heart. So I don't feel like I missed out on anything.
Congrats =)

Well I only have 2 kids.
A boy and girl.
The boy is the youngest.
And my kids are 4 years apart.

However, all along I just taught my kids that they are a team.
To look out for each other.
That their brother or sister has their own interests per their age.
They may have the same interests or not.
My kids will play "boy" things and "girl" things.
They are very close. And they play together. And they look out for each other. Even my 5 year old son, will look out for his sister and my daughter looks out for her brother too.
But sure, boys are more physical.
Girls can do that too.
Or you just teach your boys... that their sister is much younger than they are. Thus, they can't expect her to do what they do.
I teach my eldest child, that. About her younger brother.
And I teach that to my son, about his sister...ie: that she is older than him.
Its fine.

It is how you teach them... about their sibling and about their age development.

Then speaking for myself, well I have a sister. And, we did NOT get along at all. Though we are close in age.
Gender... does not determine whether or not siblings get along.

I don't really know how to answer. I don't know anything different to compare it to. I was the youngest, with 2 older brothers. I had great fun with them over the years. I was quite a tomboy at times. I learned a lot about sports. I played tag football, one-on-one with the younger of my brothers, also 1-on-1 baseball, basketball, bike racing (just in our neighborhood, lol), tennis (when we were older)... I sometimes got left behind on fishing trips, and that always made me mad.

I'd say it made me pretty independent and competitive. Traits that once in a while my husband asks me to tone down---because he's not one of my brothers, lol.

I also never felt like anyone could mess with me. And I suspect there were many boys in the jr. high years that were intimidated.

I don't really feel like I missed out on anything by not having a sister. I don't really understand sister relationships, I guess. I have my very close girlfriends, and I love my SIL's like sisters (I guess, since I don't actually have any to know), but I suspect they have another level to it with each other that I don't have. But, so what? I have girl friends that know more about me than even a sister might. And some of those are (gasp) only children. So no sisters for them either.
Personally, I think that by and large, anyone I know that DOES have sisters, seem like they have more drama in their lives. And that includes kids that my children are friends with. I have one girl and one boy. And we don't DO "drama" at my house. But some of their friends... ? :/

I don't think it is any big deal at all. I can remember many a late night telephone call from my "closer" brother, back in our college days. We still share "secrets" that my parents don't know about. I discussed wedding plans with him before I talked to my parents.

I think, sister or not, siblings know whom they can confide in, and who will give them the straight skinny when advice is needed. If it's a brother... so what? Sometimes they give better advice, imho.

ETA: and the fact wasn't lost on me, that by being the only girl, I never had to share my bedroom. ;)

I have a cousin who is an only girl (with two brothers) and another cousin who is an only boy (with 4 sisters) it didn't really effect either of them. My one cousin was a major tom boy (but then again so is one of the girls with three sisters!) and would still rather die then wear pink, but as for the sister dynamic, we were very close and like sisters.

I grew up with 3 younger brothers. My mother said she had her baby sitter first and as an adult I realized this wasn't the best arrangement for me. I spent too much time mothering.

As far as having brothers, it wasn't a problem with getting along. We loved each other, had the usual sibling spats but they weren't related to our different sexes. My brothers did their rough housing without me needing to be involved. In fact they were protective of me. They learned to be nice to girls.

yes, sometimes I wished for a sister but not nearly as often as I wished for a life without so much responsibility.

i have 5 brothers and am the 2nd oldest. i was desperate for a sister but my mother refused to oblige<G>. but it certainly wasn't torture. my older brother and i hated each other most of the time when we were little (he wanted to be an only child) but as he grew older, he became 'cool' and i got to where i loved it when he would give me the time of day<G>. i had more trouble with the next brother in line, he was (and is) a brilliant and difficult person. i got along great with 'the little boys' because they weren't close enough in age to bug me.
because of my own experience, i'm always a little puzzled by parents who want to have more kids so their current kids will have 'friends.' i rarely played WITH my brothers. we played different stuff. on good days we'd parallel play or go our own ways, on bad days we'd fight.
now, all that being said, my takeaway experience from growing up with all those boys is good. i'm not a girlie girl by nature, so that wasn't an issue. i'm not sure if it's my own innate personality or my need to get away from too much closeness with boys (houses are smaller in bermuda, big families live on top of each other way more than they do here), but i've always been very independent and never needed anyone to entertain me. i like men, understand them, get along really well with them. and all of my brothers are very nice men who genuinely like women (ie they don't just like to look at and fantasize about them, they enjoy women's brains and hearts.)
as you say, there's no way to know what childhood is ideal for any given child. but my bet is that your daughter will grow up feeling secure, protected (brothers ARE good for that) and also confident in her ability to relate to men. even for a cuddly nurturing girl, have rough noisy boys around is a good thing, it helps her relate past her own comfort zone. and i'm sure her personality impacts them in a positive way too.
:) khairete
S.

I grew up in the middle of two brothers. My oldest brother is 4 years older than me and my youngest brother and I are only 18 months apart. I loved having brothers. My older brother seemed like a father figure to my younger brother and I since he was several years older. (My parents divorced when we were all elementary school age, so I think that may have played a part. Plus he was was never at the same school with us for very long, so he always seemed much older.) I was blessed with a next door neighbor girl that was 6 years older than me. She was an only child, so we always considered each other sisters. My youngest brother and I were very close. We had a lot of the same friends and even had some of the same classes in high school. It was like we shared the same brain! I would often rather play with his friends with trucks and cars in the dirt or sandbox than play with dolls, but I did play with dolls, dress up and do girly things some too.

I now have a son and daughter. It seems there are little boys all over our neighborhood that are my son's age, but no girls that are my daughter's age! She doesn't care though. Those boys are good to her and include her in their play. And she is a tomboy! She is more likely to play in the mud looking for worms or take care of animals than dress up and play with dolls. My kids are 16.5 months apart and are great playmates.
Like someone else said, it is all I grew up with so I can't compare it to anything else, but I don't feel cheated by not having a blood-related sister.
HTH,
A.

I has two older brothers and a dad ? My mom died when I was young. I grew up with sensibilities like a man, but I'm still girly.

Hi,

I have 3 older brothers and I am the only girl. I love having brothers. I did always want a sister, but I have a lot of cousins and we were close so it balanced out. I think have only brothers can be a good thing. It taught me how to be tougher at a younger age. I always thought I was a tomboy, but I just think it was because I had brothers. I notice now, that I am a mother of two little girls, that I wasn't a tomboy, I just was adapting to my environment.

Also it was nice knowing I always had someone to watch my back. I was very small and for this reason I got picked on when I was very little. My brothers were there to help me and eventually, they taught me how to stand up for myself. Now as a mom, I wish my girls had an older brother, because I learned so much from them.

It's funny because I knew I always wanted a girl, but when I was pregnant with my second daughter I freaked out because I didn't know how to deal with 2 girls. It of course worked out in the end. They have a very strong bond, just like I do with my brothers. I think that the relationship between brothers and their sister has a lot to do with you as a parent. I remember my parents always telling us to stick by each other because we are family. I think that if you instill them with good values they will turn out great. :)

My daughter is the only girl with two brothers, unfortunately they are older. My daughter is 8 and the boys are 19 & 17 - almost 18.

They pretty much ignore her - its like she's an only child. Even when they were younger they didnt really interact with her. She was 'boring'. She usually wants to play and they dont want to do anything.

So we almost treat her as an only child. The boys live in my house and see her daily but when it comes to a lot of things its like they dont exist.

Its kind of sad.

She is a girly girl with some things like wearing skirts and dresses, and recently she wants to wear earrings and necklaces. But she also loves tools and working on things like her daddy. They build things a lot. So her purse would contains some kind of tool. I know she has an alan wrench in there! lol.

I have two sisters and a brother. My brother was my best friend growing up! We are still very close to this day.

On the upside, boys will NOT be a mystery worth checking out at 16...

Just promote the fact that she's special for being the only girl. My daughter is our oldest and our only girl. She asks for a baby sister all the time, but I don't think she'd really enjoy sharing the "girl spotlight" or sharing her special place in her daddy's heart with another girl.

I have two brothers. My older brother is 4 years older than I am. He left when I was 13 for the Army so he wasn't present for any of my teen years. We were never close until he came back 8 years later. then we formed a close bond. Before he left he was the "typical" older brother who liked to pick on my younger brother and I. Nothing major but still a pain in our butts ;)

My younger brother is 3 days away from being a year younger. ( we are the same age or 3 days) We are VERY close. We did everything together until I got married and had kids. As kids we played together no matter what it was... boy or girl activities. As teens we hung out with the same group of friends and did everything together. As young adults we still did so much together. We are still close but we don't talk or see each other every day... more like once a week or two.

At times I wished I had a sister and he wished he had a brother closer to his age but in the end I wouldn't trade my brothers for the world!

I should also add my daughter is the youngest out of 5 kids. My aunt is the youngest of 6 kids and she turned out pretty good. One thing is for sure she definitely knows how to hold her own and ( in a good way) has never let any man walk all over her!

My SIL was the third child and only girl in a family of four, just like your daughter will be. I have never heard her say that she wished she had a sister. She was closest to her youngest brother (six years younger than her; the older 3 were born one right after the other). She is an amazing person and has a lot of close girlfriends. I think she found the sisters that she wanted in her life and is probably closer to them than I am with my biological sister.

To me, the one to worry about is your second child. I know several families of four where the configuration is such that the third child is the only one of a certain gender. The child who is neither the oldest nor the youngest nor the only boy/girl is usually the one who ends up being the most challenging. It is certainly true of my in-laws.